The Rushing Wind
by unkeptsecret
Summary: Even if you try to stand still, everything will shift around you. Staying the same isn't an option. Based on the anime and set post-TSR. Kaname and Sousuke. Melissa and Kurz. COMPLETE! YES! Rated for Melissa's foul mouth, battles, and implied indecencies.
1. Island: Prologue

"Excuse me, amigos. Last call," the bartender said.

"Just my luck." Melissa Mao gulped the last of her beer and slammed down the bottle with enough force to make the entire bar shake.

"Easy there, tiger," Kurz Weber said as he lunged to prevent his own beer from tipping over. He took a swig, stood up from the bar stool, reached into his pocket for his bill fold, and flipped through the impressive wad of cash.

"Hey there, big spender. You sure you want to flash your stack in a place like this?" Melissa teased.

"You gonna complain when I'm buying?"

"Hell no! You owe me big time. Remind me never to go on a recon assignment with you again," Melissa said, gesturing to her ribs. Her slinky summer dress disguised constellations of purple bruises. She couldn't wear anything with a waist band or take a deep breathe without getting light-headed from the pain. Fortunately, the six pack of Mexican beer was taking the edge off the discomfort.

"What are you complaining about? If I wasn't guarding you from the shadows, you'd be in worse shape. That guy knew what he was doing," Kurz shrugged as he tossed the pesos on the bar.

"And I don't?"

"Oh, you know all too well in those backless numbers you keep wearing out on assignment. If I'd never seen you in an AS, I would swear you were built for espionage."

Melissa jabbed him hard in the shoulder with her index finger. "Yeah yeah yeah. That big mouth of yours is my biggest problem."

Kurz threw up his hands in mock surrender. "I maintain, a cat blew my cover that time."

"Yeah, a big blond tomcat with a dumb haircut."

"Hey! The ladies love the tresses," Kurz flashed her a wide grin and ran a hand through his decidedly mullet-like locks.

"What ladies? You're going home solo again tonight, soldier." Melissa grabbed Kurz's beer and polished it off before gingerly standing up.

"You and me both." Kurz stopped when he saw the wince of pain cross his commanding officer's face. Without thinking, he reached out to take her arm. She pulled away like he was poisoned.

"Shit, I'm not helpless," Melissa hissed. She grabbed her handbag and started for the door. Kurz sighed and followed her.

Even though San Miguel was a tourist town, most bars closed down by midnight or earlier in the off-season. The majority of the shops they passed had already taken down their displays and pulled down the security gates. Likely, the rest of the crew on shore leave from the Tultha Da Daanan had already returned to the submarine or found a hotel room for the night. Any one left on the island would be picked up tomorrow morning at 6 am, and although nothing had been said out loud, everyone suspected that they would be headed out on a long, deep dive. Tessa usually tried to give the crew as much time on shore as possible before long missions. It could get stifling after six weeks underwater.

"Well you can't complain about that last mission too much," Kurz said when he caught up to his commanding officer. "Columbia was sure beautiful. I'll admit that guy wailed on you pretty hard when he figured out you were a spy, but the way you broke both his arm was just beautiful. Mission accomplished. We got the bad guy and a three day's shore leave to boot. You know we were scheduled for an AS debriefing."

"Ha! I got three day's medical leave and you got to tag along because everybody knows you're worthless without me."

"Ouch. And since when do we ever get any kind of leave? I guess they really only wanted to talk to Sousuke anyway, and he's taking finals in Tokyo. Unless we can figure out how to use the Lambda driver, you and I are last week's news, sister."

"God, do you have to be so depressing?" Melissa tripped on a bit of uneven pavement, and Kurz grabbed her arm, forgetting about her bruises. One gasp of pain was all it took to bring him back to his senses. He released her and backed away in a hurry.

Instead of clobbering him, Melissa grunted as she rubbed an ankle. "Damn, this is why I don't wear heels."

She kicked off her sandals, gathered them into one hand, and straightened slowly. A breeze from the ocean swept past, waving through her short black hair and blue sundress. She closed her eyes, grateful for the cool distraction from the bruising and the humid night.

Kurz put a hand on between her shoulder blades and asked, "You okay?"

"What's it to you?" Melissa exhaled, her eyes still closed.

In the wind, in the dress, in this tourist-trap of a town, she looked like an ordinary woman on vacation, not a gritty AS pilot with deadly combat skills.

"I may be sleeping alone, but it's worth it to leave with the most beautiful woman on the island," Kurz said in a low voice.

"Don't get any ideas," Melissa shot back.

"The way you look tonight would give any straight man ideas."

"Keep it up and I may forget all the reasons I should be kicking your ass right now," Melissa replied.

Kurz spotted a shop with the lights still on, and the old man clerk dozing in his lawn chair by the door.

"Let me continue on the path to redemption. Wait here," Kurz squeezed her shoulder and jogged over to the shop.

Melissa savored the breeze and the stars until he returned.

"For you," he said and put a thick cigar into one of her hands and a small bottle of quality sipping tequila into the other.

"This better be a Cuban," Melissa said, holding up the cigar.

"What else? The guy said we can hang out on the pier. The police don't usually patrol until later," Kurz said, pointing down to the ocean.

A few minutes later, they had claimed a patch of wall to sit and watch the waves slip in and out of the straggles of rocks below. Lighting the cigars in the breeze took a bit of doing, and Melissa laughed as Kurz repeatedly singed his fingers with the flickering matches. It was worth the effort.

"This is the good life," Melissa sighed. Smoke ringed around her face and dispersed in the wind.

Kurz took a tug from the bottle and offered it to her. "Not bad at all," he said.

Melissa raised the bottle to her lips and enjoyed a gulp. "It'd be better if you quit leering at me," she said.

"You wore the dress, sweetheart," Kurz quipped. He leaned back to check on the stars- and possibly to get out of slapping distance, but Melissa only laughed.

"Only you guys look good in those regulation jumpsuits."

"So you're saying I look good in a jumpsuit..."

"Shut up, Kurz."

"Yes, m'am."

For some time, the rhythmic rushing of the water spoke for them.

On the far side of the plaza, a group of drunken American college students broke the serenity of the scene.

"Aww, look at them!" one of the girls cried out.

She tugged on the sleeve of a hefty surfer-type, and he paused to squint into the darkness toward the pier.

"Damn, she's a fox! Good job, dude!" he hollered. The rest of the group stopped have a look as well.

"OOOH! He's not bad either," a girl with a long ponytail whooped.

"Better than me?" another jeered.

"Maybe just a little," she teased.

"Is she your girl?" the sufer guy shouted at Kurz.

"Answer that, and you're dead," Melissa seethed in a low voice.

"Cause if she isn't, I'll take her!" the surfer guy continued.

"Kiss her!" the pony-tailed girl shouted.

"Do nothing of the sort," Melissa hissed.

Kurz looked back at the gang of youths and gave an exaggerated shrug. "Sorry, guys."

"If you won't, I will!" the surfer guy announced and began striding across the plaza. The group roared their approval.

"I can't wait for it, buddy," Melissa snarled, her hands tightening into fists.

"Um, sis?" Kurz pointed to a pair of uniformed police officers entering the plaza and headed their way.

Melissa swore.

The youths started up a chant, "KISS HER! KISS HER!", while the surfer guy paused to make a show of applying chapstick and then continued swaggering towards the pier.

The police picked up their pace.

"Any ideas? I'd rather not deal with cops, and I'd sure as hell like to avoid dealing with the captain after the cops," Kurz said through a forced smile. He patted his concealed weapon. Melissa nodded. They were both carrying hidden, non-commercial weapons. Anyone with minimal training could spot it, and police are known for asking questions.

Melissa considered her options. "Dammit, if you breathe a word of this to anyone, I will kill you," she threatened, and then she grabbed Kurz and kissed him.

A cheer went up from the teens, and the officers changed their route to intercept them instead. The surfer guy gave a great performance of mock defeat and rejoined his group just in time to earn a police escort. "Aw, c'mon, man. We're just at the hostel around the corner! We'll be good," Melissa heard him say. She exhaled a sigh of relief and tried to pull away from the stunned Kurz, but he pulled roughly back against him.

Her bruises sent out a shock wave of pain through her body, and she almost screamed. She raised her fist to clobber Kurz, but just then, he shifted his kisses to her throat and she could see the flashlights of another set of police officers as they came up along the sidewalk next to the very wall on which she and Kurz were sitting. They must had come from behind her, drawn by the same commotion that brought the first pair on patrol.

Kurz kissed his way to her ear and whispered, "Better make this convincing."

She nodded slightly and didn't protest when he kissed her full on the mouth. His eyes were closed, and she could feel his gun digging into her battered ribs. Her own piece, which she had strapped to her thigh, was covered by his hand. His thumb traced lazy circles on the soft inner part of her thigh, just above her hem. Even though heavy eyelids, she could see the police flashlights pass over them. She clutched at Kurz's shirtfront, pulling him closer. An officer gave a knowing chuckle. "Buenos noches, lovebirds," the other said softly, and to the great relief of the awkward couple, the men continued on.

Kurz made a move to break away, but Melissa put her hand into his hair and moved his head to the side. She could see the officers just down the sidewalk from them, lighting cigarettes until the streetlamp. One settled in against the wall.

"They aren't going anywhere," she breathed into his ear.

He nuzzled her and whispered back, "There's a hotel just ahead."

She nodded, catching his plan. With a girlish giggle, she hopped down from the wall and smoothed her dress coyly, shifting to hide her weapon in the shadows. Kurz hopped down after her and wound an arm around her waist. To anyone watching, they looked like a couple in the sunshine of new love. Melissa gasped as he bumped into her bruises but managed a very un-military giggle to cover. She moved Kurz's hand down to her hip, which was considerably less purple than her ribs, and slipped her arm around his waist, too.

"Oopsy-daisy," Kurz said a little too loudly. He turned them around to pick up Melissa's sandals and their bottle of tequila.

Melissa pretended to trip on the sidewalk as they turned again. Feigning like the average drunken honeymooners, they started for the hotel. Neither of them failed to notice the officers leave their impromptu post under the streetlight to follow them, so when the clerk at the desk sadly announced only one room, not two, was available, Kurz threw some money at him and took the key without protest. Not until they were safely inside the room did Melissa and Kurz break the act.

Kurz collapsed, spread eagle on the king-sized bed. "Man, I thought we were supposed to be on vacation," he complained.

Melissa came up for air after downing a third of the bottle. "No kidding," she said, tossing the bottle, which he easily caught. "If you-"

"Yeah yeah yeah. If I tell any one, you'll have my head on a stake," he said, sitting up to take a swig.

"It's a shame, too. You actually did some decent undercover work back there for once in your miserable life," Melissa said, tossing her shoes in the corner and then heading to the bathroom to splash water on her face.

"Oh yeah, because acting like I enjoy sucking face with a beautiful woman is such hard work," Kurz said loudly to be heard over the running water.

"Let it drop, ya creep," she yelled back.

"No can do, sis. I'm going to dream of those lips tonight." Kurz was already retreating when Melissa calmly stepped out of the bathroom with a towel half covering her eyes, but she still walloped him a good one.

Then she sighed and sunk down onto the bed.

"This sucks."

"What? Hitting me finally lost its flavor?"

"Not that, you idiot. This whole thing. Everything. First, we get stuck on all these lame recon missions, then our debriefing on the AS gets cancelled because Sousuke won't leave Tokyo, now Tessa's giving us shore leave out of pity. I didn't bust my hump all these years to be some decoy in a skimpy get-up. Why do I get the feeling that we're just yesterday's used condom?"

Kurz polished off the bottle and set it on the nightstand. The clock read 12:48. Only five more hours until the pick-up.

"Welcome to my life, babe. At least you have command experience to fall back on when the AS system goes Lambda or bust. My options are those drugs that the Amalgam guys were on or early death on the field. You'd cry at my funeral, right?"

"Be serious."

"I'm totally, stone-cold serious," Kurz sighed and sank back down on his back on the bed.

Melissa took off her weapon and needlessly began checking it.

"Hey, Mel. You ever think about leaving Mithril?" Kurz asked.

"Are you kidding? Who doesn't?"

"So why do you stick around?"

Melissa finished putting the gun back together and clicked the magazine back. She set it by the bed, fished her cigarettes out of her bag, and went to open the balcony door.

"Why do you?" she called over her shoulder. Kurz shrugged, got up, and followed her onto the balcony. The moon was just rising.

"So I can be near that sweet ass, babe."

Melissa flipped him off without turning around.

"To be honest," he continued in a serious tone, "I thought I'd wash out by now. When I started, it was just for fun, you know."

He leaned against the railing and helped himself to a cigarette. Melissa shook her head.

"I always knew I wanted to fight," she said.

"And that's it?"

"I dunno know," she replied, her eyes fixed on the water. "Maybe Sousuke's got the right idea. Find someone who gets you and run with it. Go back to civilian life and try to start over."

"And he's the one with the promising future as a pilot. Lucky bastard," Kurz observed.

They went quiet for a heavy moment.

"Sucks that I hate drugs," Kurz broke in as they flicked the spend cigarettes into the pool below.

"It sucks that you finished the bottle, you depressing sack of shit."

"Sucks that I'm going to tell everyone back at HQ that you let me feel up your leg."

Melissa punched him hard in the shoulder. "Sucks I'll have to fake tears at your funeral."

"Maybe they'll give me a promotion in death for doing the impossible- making out with the ice queen Melissa Mao."

Melissa's punches were falling fast and furious now.

Kurz retreated to the bed and grabbed a pillow to fend off her attacks. "Ouch! Look on the bright side! It's proof-positive that you're not a dyke. Ow! Don't hurt the face!"

"Too bad you still suck at hand-to-hand."

"Too bad I've learned a thing or two." Kurz struck out and landed a solid thump to Melissa's gut, totally forgetting her wounds. Her world went white and fizzy with pain, and she slumped over.

"Shit! I'm so sorry, Mel. Are you crying? You can kill me if you want. I'd let you-"

In a flash, she had him pinned down on the mattress, a forearm pressed to his throat.

"I've killed a man for less," she wheezed.

Kurz raised his hands on surrender. "I know it. I'm dying here."

Melissa made an aggravated noise, sat back, and raised her own hands. "It's cool. That wasn't a bad move, for a sucker shot. Quit being such a downer."

"Not a chance. Tonight's it for me. I've got a job that I was born for and I made out with the hottest chick I've ever know, and tomorrow it'll be back to watching Black Technology make me about as useful as a slingshot. The only thing I'll be kissing is my ass good-bye." He reached up and tucked a stray bit of dark hair back behind her ear.

Melissa glared at him. "Are you drunk?"

"I wish," Kurz snapped back.

"Good." And then she leaned over kissed him, good and hard on the mouth. Kurz was so shocked that he barely had the sense to kiss her back.

"You know I've always had it bad for you, right?" he breathed between kisses.

"Don't talk too much or you'll make me regret this," she whispered. With the skill of a professional, she stripped off his shirt to disarm him. The gun was digging into her bruises. Then, she tossed off her dress.

The sight of her damaged torso would have frightened a lesser soldier. Kurz traced over the purple and black continents of swollen flesh with wonder.

"You're the best I've ever seen," he said with sincerity.

"Tell anyone and I'll kill you," she threatened as she reached for his belt, but he found her lips and drew her into a long kiss to slow her down, to make it last until the last minute before the pick-up. Getting a minute of privacy on a submarine was next to impossible, and it could be months until he could touch her again, if she even let him touch her again.

"Relax, beautiful. Who's gonna believe this?"


	2. Street

Spring had broken loose in Tokyo.

The sakura trees announced its arrival by exploding into blossom, and in the bright, afternoon hours, Kaname Chidori had opened all the windows in the student council room to catch the warming wind that carried the delicate scent. But now the evening closed in, and the school felt as empty as a drum. At long last, Kaname sighed, put down the last of the paperwork, stood up, and stretched.

One by one, she closed the windows. As she shut and fastened the last open portal, a tiny glint of light flashed across the rooftops, drawing her eye. Wraith, her passive protector, was watching from a favored position. Kaname raised her hand as if to wave, but a second flash winked out, like a warning. She dropped her hand and stooped to pick up her bag instead.

Kaname passed the detritus of a high school in the waning days of the academic year on her way out of the building. Streamers decorated one classroom; a blackboard declared that Ami, Lala, and Sai would be friends forever in another. Posters announcing graduation lined the walls. Kaname's footsteps sounded a hollow echo down the corridor.

Pushing open a side door, Kaname burst into the outside world as the courtyard filled with the strange colors and shadows of sunset. Sitting under a tree not far away, Sousuke waited.

"Have you completed your tasks for the day?" he asked as he started to pack up his books and binders. Kaname did a double take when she saw him tuck a small black box into his rucksack.

"Hey, what's that?" she inquired.

"To what are you referring?" he replied. He pulled the string to close the pack and stood up.

"Fine, it's none of my business anyway," Kaname said. She waved her hand as if to dispel the question. "What are you doing here anyway? I told you that I would be working late tonight. You shouldn't have waited around for me."

"Affirmative. But I am aware of the strain of graduation on your timetable. It is probable that you were the last person to exit the school, and your safety is my priority," Sousuke replied.

"Whatever," Kaname shrugged. Despite her flippant tone, a smile stole across her face when Sousuke fell into step beside her as she turned onto the street.

"Hey, Sousuke, do you mind walking home today? It's too nice out to take the train," Kaname said.

Sousuke nodded stiffly. "Agreed."

Too tired for small talk, Kaname watched the sun put on a spectacular show as it slipped below the horizon. The last rays warmed her face for a moment, and then the light was gone. She sighed again.

When she looked over to her companion, Kaname noted a frown creasing Sousuke's forehead. She punched him lightly in the shoulder.

"Snap out of it," she commanded.

Sousuke came to an abrupt stop. "Have I done something wrong?" he asked.

"You're acting weird," she said.

"Am I? You are also behaving abnormally," he replied.

"I am not! You're the weird-o," Kaname said hotly.

"You keep sighing."

"Duh, because we graduate in one week. I'm sad that everyone is leaving for different colleges and stuff, but high school has to end before the next part of our lives can begin, you know. There's no putting off the future." Kaname ended her speech with a winning smile.

Sousuke eyed her warily, which caused Kaname's grin to morph into a glare. She stomped back to the rigid soldier, grabbed his arm, and yanked hard.

"Come on. I want to get home before it gets too cold out," she growled and quickened her step.

"Uh, right," Sousuke mumbled. His eyes seemed to focus on something just below the sidewalk and his head hung low, but he allowed the fuming girl to drag him along.

After a few blocks, Kaname's anger seeped out of her, and she slowed her pace. She looked to the thin young man whose arm she clutched, but still, he did not raise his head.

"Sousuke?" Kaname asked with real concern in her voice.

He grimaced as though she had struck him, and then looked away.

"Okay, something is definitely up with you," she said.

Sousuke's eyes flicked over her face but only for a second. "It is nothing," he said.

"Fine. Be that way. But I know you, Sousuke, and you're a terrible liar." Kaname released his arm and crossed her own arms across her chest.

They walked in silence for a few more blocks. After the yellow sun had disappeared, a cold wind crept out to take its place. Kaname tucked her hands into her elbows and pulled her arms closer as another cold-tipped gust curled around her bare legs before blowing past. She shivered.

Wordlessly, Sousuke removed off his woolen school jacket and dropped it around her shoulders.

"Thanks," she said, pulling it tightly around her. It was still warm and smelled of boy.

"It's not a problem," he relied as he shoved his hands into his trouser pockets. The temperature was dropping fast. Another cold gust rushed past them, strong enough to feel like a shove. Kaname's eyes watered, and she sniffed. Her nose felt cold to the touch. Again, Sousuke's eyes flicked over to her, but he said nothing.

"So maybe walking home wasn't such a good idea," she said brightly.

"Perhaps," he replied in a low voice.

"Geez, you could at least try to be better company. You're the one who wanted to walk with me, remember?"

But Sousuke wasn't walking anymore. The streetlamps flipped on and his ramrod-straight shadow leapt out in front of him, yet he did not move. With his head held so low, shadows filled his face, and Kaname could not read his eyes.

"You're really starting to freak me out. What is wrong with you?" she demanded. "I've had a long day, and I do NOT have time to-"

"Chidori, I have something to say," Sousuke said loudly, startling her.

In the blank moment that accompanied her shock, Sousuke whipped out his bag, untied the cords, and pulled out the black box.

Kaname noted that it looked like a jeweler's box, but before she could say anything, Sousuke had pressed it into her hand. Confused, Kaname held it in front of her and opened it.

Inside, she saw a golden disc sparkling with an outer ring of what appeared to be diamonds flashing under the streetlamp. As Kaname picked it up, a long strand of gold trailed behind it like the tail of a comet. A necklace.

"Wow. Are those real?" Kaname breathed.

"I am glad you find it satisfactory. I had it custom-made to my exact specifications," Sousuke said without raising his head.

"Wait a second," Kaname said, holding the necklace out at arm's length. "Is this some kind of weapon? Because if it is-"

Ignoring her rant, Sousuke reached out and flipped open the disc. Inside, Kaname could see the minute circuitry of a microchip.

"A bomb?!" she shrieked. "You gave me a bomb? I'm-"

"It's not a bomb, Chidori. It's a transmitter," Sousuke said with a touch of sadness. He took the necklace from her outstretched hand, stepped forward, and fastened it around her neck. The golden disc felt cold against her skin, but she hardly noticed it in the sudden hot blush that shot through her as Sousuke put one hand on each of her shoulders.

"You are a very important person to me, Kaname, and your safety is my top concern. Whenever you need me, whenever you are in trouble, press the center of that necklace to trigger the transmitter, and I will come find you," he said in a low voice.

"But you're here, so why would I need..." Kaname muttered in confusion.

Sousuke's arms dropped to his sides, and he stood before her, head down, as the wind pulled at their hair and clothes.

Kaname's eyes went wide as she realized the truth behind his gift to her.

"You're leaving me?" she asked in disbelief.

"I've been offered a place at the Mithril Command Academy. I will graduate as an officer in three years' time with a minimal ranking of lieutenant. In combination with my active duty post with the AS forces of the TDD-1, I am unable to remain in Tokyo," he stated.

Kaname's breath caught in her throat.

"I depart directly after the graduation ceremony," he finished.

Her hand went to her chest, palm against the new charm on its delicate chain.

"I sent my acceptance to headquarters today. It was a difficult decision. I am sorry that I did not tell you sooner," Sousuke added.

"Sorry? I'll show you sorry!" Kaname snapped. She drew back her hand as if to slap him before changing her mind, spinning on her heel, and racing away.

"Wait!" Sousuke cried out.

Kaname ran faster. Her bag bumped against her leg, her lungs protested against the cold air, but she gritted her teeth and sprinted towards her home. The few pedestrians left on the street watched her fly past with bemused expressions. One man chortled to himself. A dog barked at her. As she past a payphone, it made an odd chirping noise, as if its bell were damaged. She could hear Sousuke's rapid footfalls as he raced after her.

"Leave me alone!" she shouted over her shoulder.

"Let me explain!" Sousuke yelled back.

"I don't want to hear it! I don't care what you do; just leave me out of it!" Kaname screamed.

"Chidori!"

His voice was closer, and her stomach dropped. Even at her top speed, he was closing the distance between them. She could not outrun him. Enraged, she ripped the necklace from her throat and whirled around to hurl it at her pursuer, but it was too late. He was too close. Kaname saw Sousuke's eyes widen with fear as he crashed into her, sending them both sprawling on the sidewalk.

For a moment, her world went out of focus. Every streetlight had a halo, and the sound of her pulse thrummed in her ears. Sousuke's face swam into her field of vision, peering over her.

"Chidori. We need to move," he commanded.

"What?" she murmured, still dazed by the force of the impact. Her vision cleared a little, and she noted that Sousuke had drawn his weapon, a standard issue Glock. His body was tense, battle-ready.

Still wobbly, Kaname pushed herself up onto one elbow and followed Sousuke's concentrated stare to its source.

In the darkened apartment complex just a few buildings down the street, only one apartment's lights blazed.

"That's your apartment, Sousuke," Kaname blurted out.

"Get down!" he shouted, but she couldn't react fast enough.

Sousuke threw himself over her as the apartment exploded in a thunderous clap. Pressed against the cold ground, Kaname saw nothing but felt its weird, hot wind roar around her and Sousuke's cheek pressed against her own.


	3. Chase

A black rain of debris spattered down around them. Sousuke heard glass tinkling, stone chunks crunching, Kaname's fast breath, and beyond that, the unmistakable thump of a handgun. Behind them, the window of the convenience store splintered and crashed to the sidewalk.

Sousuke jumped up, aimed his gun in the probable direction of the attacker, and fired three times.

"Go!" he commanded.

Kaname scrambled to her feet and took off. Another thump sounded as Sousuke turned to follow her, and a chunk of a light pole exploded into splinters just above Kaname's head as she raced past. She dodged down a side street and out of the line of fire. Sousuke turned to squeeze off another two shots before rounding the corner with her.

"Any ideas?" she asked.

"Shopping arcade," Sousuke replied. He jammed his weapon into his waistband to avoid panicking a crowd needlessly. They could easily blend into the mob of shoppers and evade their pursuers, provided they didn't draw too much attention to themselves.

"Are you crazy? Someone will get killed!" Kaname panted. She had a point. A crowd provides excellent cover at the cost of almost certain civilian causalities. At the same time, they had been lucky so far, but one can't avoid bullets on an open street for long. Sousuke considered their options.

"Follow my lead," Sousuke said after a moment.

Together, they took a sharp left, heedless of traffic. The shopping arcade loomed ahead. Kaname began to slow, but Sousuke grabbed her hand. He looked over his shoulder to catch her eye.

"Trust me."

Kaname nodded and tried to match his pace. He squeezed her hand tight as they dashed into the traffic of another street. The shopping arcade's lights combined with the street lamps turned the street as bright as day, but even good lighting can't prepare a driver for two teenagers sprinting across four traffic lanes. An oncoming truck blared his horn at them, swerved, and smashed into the tiny sedan in the far lane. With two seconds, six wrecks plugged up the intersection.

The arching sign of the arcade loomed over them. Beneath it, a mother stooped to tie her child's shoe, and Kaname let out a small gasp of dread. But Sousuke raced past them and took another sharp left. Heedless of the growing knot of traffic, he pulled her back across the street. Kaname knitted her brow in confusion. It looked like they going back the way they came.

"But-" Kaname began, but Sousuke stopped suddenly, clamped a hand over her mouth, and spun them both into the cover of a door frame.

From their hiding place, they could see a man in dark clothes emerge from the side street and slow down, pausing to take in the chaos. Despite his close proximity, Sousuke could see the man's mouth working in fury but couldn't hear his cursing over the din of honking horns and shouting drivers. The man started toward the arcade through the obstacle course of crashed cars. Sousuke's next breath eased the ache of fear in his chest. Apparently, would-be assassins with mediocre aim know enough to assume that their query will go for the area with the easiest cover.

When he looked back at Kaname, Sousuke recognized her temper flaring through her eyes and dropped his hand from her mouth.

"You almost got us both flattened! Twice!" she hissed.

"It was a calculated risk," he replied. "You wished to avoid civilian causalities."

"So what next?" she asked.

"We avoid authorities and head to the secondary safe house. We will await contact Mithril from there," he replied.

Still clutching her hand, Sousuke pulled Kaname back into the flow of pedestrians on the sidewalk. The man in dark clothes has disappeared into the mob at the market. Moving as quickly as possible, they blended into the flow of the night-time foot traffic. All around them, the denizens of Tokyo laughed with friends, chatted on cell phones, or quietly found their way through the chilly night.

"We've got to keep moving. It is highly probable that he has back up," Sousuke said in a low voice.

Kaname nodded, then reached out and caught a handful of Sousuke's sleeve.

"Where is Wraith?" she asked with panic rising in her voice.

"We can assume that he has also been targeted. If he is still alive, we will rendezvous with him at the safe house," Sousuke replied.

"If?! Contact him and make sure," Kaname retorted.

"Negative. The enemy infiltrated my apartment, and our communication equipment was compromised. Our cell phones are likely tapped as well."

"Oh." A frown tugged down the corners of Kaname's mouth. "I hope he's okay. Or she. Whichever."

Using the reflections of the shop windows, Sousuke could monitor any persons behind them, but it was am imperfect system. A half-way decent agent could blend into the crowd and get close enough for a good shot without arousing much suspicion on such a busy street. They were too exposed, too vulnerable. Kaname felt it, too. She tightened her grip on his sleeve.

"We'll take another way," he told her.

It was easy enough to leave the main street, but almost immediately, Sousuke realized his mistake. A woman with long hair and a baggy, unfashionable jacket turned down the side street with them. Her hands were tucked into the oversized pockets. Sousuke shot Kaname a look of warning, and when they rounded the next corner, they broke into a dead sprint. Unfortunately, the side streets had turned to alleys, and Sousuke grimaced as he tried to formulate a plan for safe escape. They raced onward, dodging dumpsters and turning corners as often as possible. Behind them, the woman with long hair followed. Sousuke heard a series of odd clicks and cursing whenever her footsteps paused.

The problem with running blind, as Sousuke knew too well, is that eventually you make a mistake. Turn down a dead end, get cut off, or make one too many wrong turns, and you end up as good as gift-wrapped for the enemy. When they found their way blocked by a large delivery truck, Sousuke pulled his weapon and prepared for a last stand, but Kaname had another plan. She clamored up the hood of the truck, over the windshield, and onto its flat top. She caught the lowest bars of a fire escape on the downward arch of a tremendous leap.

Sousuke had no time to marvel at her physical agility as he rushed to join her. Kaname climbed straight up the outside of the fire escape. If she had taken the stairs, the resulting racket would draw their enemy within moments.

Kaname made the climb look easy, but Sousuke's arms ached with the strain. Sousuke looked up to check on Kaname's progress and found himself staring directly up her skirt. Her panties had a tiny pattern of hearts, and Sousuke almost lost his grip, banging a boot against the metal railing. Kaname shot him a look of pure hate before hoisting herself over the ledge and onto the rooftop.

Below them, rapid footfalls announced the arrival of their pursuer, yet Sousuke still clung to the fire escape. He was reaching for his weapon when Kaname's hand closed on his wrist. For a moment, he felt like gravity had stopped working as she yanked him up and over the ledge.

They landed hard in a breathless tangle. Sousuke accidently caught Kaname's elbow in the gut, so Kaname took her turn to clamp a hand over his mouth as he gasped aloud.

From below came the sound of shoes on metal as their enemy picked her way up and onto the truck. She walked slowly, as if considering all possibilities. Then there was a series of fast steps, a brief moment of silence followed by a grunt of pain, and the smack of shoes on cement.

A second set of footsteps, racing and then slowing down as it grew nearer, floated up to them.

"You lost them," a man's voice said.

"My gun jammed. I couldn't even get a good shot in," a woman's voice replied. "Sure wish we could afford some decent equipment."

"Any chance they went up there?"

"Unlikely. That jump's a killer."

This time, Sousuke could hear clearly the man's angry stream of swear words.

"Easy there, ace," the woman said. "They can't be far."

"Alright. Call it in. See if someone can fly the bird," he replied. "Take this in the meantime."

Sousuke pulled Kaname's hand from his mouth and rolled to the edge. With one eye, he could see the woman talking into a cell phone while tucking a gun into her pocket. The man in dark clothes kicked at the truck's tires, then turned and raced into the dark. After the woman finished the call, she took one final visual sweep of the area before taking off, still on the hunt.

A hard smack brought Sousuke's attention back to the rooftop.

"That's for looking up my skirt, pervert," Kaname whispered as he rubbed the newest addition to his collections of lumps. Her shoulders slumped. "Now what?"

Sousuke checked his weapon, buying time before responding.

"They appear to be amateurs. The attack is loosely coordinated and poorly executed. If they were professionals…" Sousuke trailed off. The magazine of splat bullets clicked into place, and he cocked the gun to drop the first bullet into the chamber. He tucked the magazine of rubber bullets back into his bag.

"What do they want?"

"Both of us dead. This is not a kidnapping operation," Sousuke replied. "It may be revenge or bounty hunters."

"How far to the safe house?" Kaname asked.

"Not far…I'm sure it's here…" Sousuke fumbled.

Kaname grabbed him by the collar and shook. "You don't know where it is, do you?"

"I…um…have an address."

Kaname shook harder. "Where?"

"It's…um…"

"Well?"

"You-"

"What about me?" Kaname's eyes blazed with the inferno of her rage. "If you don't hand it to me in the next five seconds, you **will** regret it."

Despite the cold night, sweat beaded on Sousuke's brow. He lifted one trembling hand, and hesitated.

Kaname rolled her eyes. "Five, four, three, tw-"

Sousuke gulped, and his hand darted out toward Kaname's ample chest. She started to scream as his hand brushed past her left breast. She drew back her fist, but his hand was already pulling out a small envelope from his school jacket's inner front pocket. He held it out to her, his face a tight ball of dread.

To his shock, Kaname exhaled her anger, took the envelope, collapsed backwards.

"You should have told me that first," she grumbled.

"I…I apologize."

"I don't want your apologies. I just want…You never…ARGH!" Kaname flailed her limbs in anger, pounding at the roof. Then she sat up and tore open the envelope to glance at the address typed on the card inside.

"How far?" Sousuke asked.

"Far," she replied glumly. The adrenaline of the chase was losing its edge, and the cold traced a bony finger along Kaname's cheekbones, nose, and exposed knees. The wind picked up, as chilly as before but now with an edge of rain. Sousuke wished that he could do more to protect her.

"Right. Let's move out," he told her.

* * *

They ghosted along the alleys with Sousuke leading. The sky broke open as they slipped onto a main thoroughfare, and everyone scattered for cover as the cold rain beat down on the city. Vendors quickly moved the umbrella displays to the front of the store, and Sousuke stood guard at the door while Kaname purchased a nondescript, black one.

The weather made progress slow on the already long walk. The umbrella barely covered her head, and water squelched in Kaname's pink sneakers. She eyed Sousuke's boots and rain poncho with envy.

Midway to their destination, Sousuke paused and looked up at the sky. An unmarked helicopter patrolled the sky above them, performing a systematic sweep of the area.

"Is that the bird?" Kaname asked.

Sousuke nodded. "They will not find us as long as the rain keeps up."

"Guess I should be grateful then," Kaname sighed and kicked at a puddle.

An hour later, they found the right address, and Kaname was shivering visibly even with Sousuke's jacket. The safe house was little more than a shabby apartment in a decrepit building on the bad side of town. A sign on the elevator read "Out of Order", so they climbed seven long flights of stairs with dingy lighting.

At the door, Sousuke paused when he saw the lock and pushed Kaname to the side.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Someone's been here," he whispered.

Drawing his weapon, Sousuke reached for the knob, but the door swung open and a gun leveled at his head. Sousuke stared into an unfamiliar face, whose expression had gone soft. Whoever it was recognized him.

The lips moved. "Oh, it's you," the voice said, and the person collapsed forward into Sousuke's arms. The body felt surprisingly light for its height and girth. Sousuke shot a surprised look at Kaname, who rolled her eyes at him in exasperation.

"Help me carry him inside," she said, hoisting one of the stranger's arms over her shoulder. "It's Wraith."

The inside of the apartment was just as miserable as the rest of the building. Threadbare carpets rested on uneven floors. No furniture save a couple of basic army cots, on one of which they laid the half-conscious Wraith, decorated the room. Kaname flipped a few switches, but either all the light bulbs were burned out or the electricity had been turned off.

Despite the long journey, Sousuke and Kaname sprang into motion with fresh energy. Together, they stripped off Wraith's voluminous disguise. Kaname found a med kit in a closet, and she held Wraith's hand while Sousuke dressed the wounds.

"Hey, stay with us, okay?" she whispered to Wraith.

"You are…idiots," he said without opening his bruised eyes. "Tried to…warn you…the bomb…school…the phone…I had to…" Wraith moaned as Sousuke extracted a particularly wicked piece of shrapnel from his stomach. "Set it off…traps…Shot me…lucky…amateur…"

Kaname remembered the flashes of light across the rooftops at school, the chirping phone she ran past during her fight with Sousuke. If the communication lines were compromised, as Sousuke had said, how else could Wraith communicate with them?

"I didn't know," she murmured. "I'm sorry."

Wraith glanced at her through half-open purple and swollen eyelids. Then, his eyes closed again, but he squeezed her hand weakly.

"You…okay?" he whispered.

Kaname leaned forward and stroked a clammy, pale forehead. "Yeah," she said. "Thank you."

"Hmmm," Wraith mumbled, and then passed out. Kaname felt around his wrist for a pulse. For one terrible moment, she felt nothing, but then she found it, a steady but weak internal rhythm.

Behind her, Sousuke attached the last bandage, stood up, and walked to the room's tiny bathroom to wash the gore from his bloodied hands. Kaname followed him. Leaning on the doorframe with her arms crossed in front of her, Kaname tried to find Sousuke's eyes in the reflection of the bathroom mirror, but he wouldn't look up.

"How bad it is?" she asked at last.

"I don't have the skill or equipment to treat him properly," Sousuke replied. "I used your communication device to contact Mithril. It is a secured, private channel, but the signal only goes one way. If they are coming, they will be here tomorrow at six am."

"Why six?"

"It's standard pick-up time for shore leave."

Sousuke held out his hand and dropped the necklace into Kaname's open palm. She closed her fist around it.

"What happened to him?" she asked, gesturing towards Wraith.

"After he tripped the bomb to keep us from getting caught in the enemy's trap, he took at least one bullet to the abdomen. They had at least one sniper, probably the woman, and one tracker, likely the male. It was an admirable plan for amateurs. If not for Wraith, we might have..." Sousuke trailed off.

"It's my fault. He tried to warn me back at school, but I didn't get it," Kaname began.

"A code is not good if it is not understandable," Sousuke broke in.

"But I should have known. It's Wraith's way to be subtle. I've been so caught up in school—"

"You have nothing to regret. I am a specialist, and it falls on me to—"

"Shut up! You won't be around to help me for long. I've got to—"

Kaname had to turn away because tears threatened to spill out, and she hated crying. It felt like weakness. She fled back to the main room and flung herself on a cot, trying to steady her breath until she felt in control again.

After a time, Sousuke returned to rummage through the closet. Kaname watched him pull out plain sweat pants, black T-shirts, and, to her great joy, woolen socks. He held up each garment in the half-light of the apartments and tossed the smallest ones to her. She gathered them up and went to the bathroom to change. The clothes were far too large, but soft and dry. The necklace proved to be a challenge. She had broken the chain earlier, and her new outfit had no pockets. At last, she shrugged and dropped it into a cup of her bra. Kaname left her school uniform in a wet heap on the floor under the sink.

When she opened the door, she saw Sousuke standing in front of her without his shirt on. A fierce blush colored his cheeks. Kaname felt her own turn pink.

"I…um..need…" he stammered before giving up and simply turning around. Bits of stone and glass stuck out from his back like seashells in the sand. Kaname remembered how he protected her from the explosion, and her hand reached out without thinking to touch his shoulder. He held up a pair of tweezers and a roll of gauze.

"Will you help?" he asked finally.

"Sure."

Kaname had to hold the flashlight in her mouth to work the debris free with both hands. It bled only a little when she pulled the pieces out of his skin before she swapped the gouges with antiseptic and taped a bandage over the wounds. Sousuke sat as still as carved stone, even when she struggled to pull out with the larger bits. After the last one, she doused a bit of gauze with the medicine to dab on the various nicks and scrapes along his back, arms, and shoulders.

She clicked the flashlight off and set it on the cot beside the med kit to work with both hands.

"So tell me about this command school or whatever it's called," she said as she worked.

"I was not eligible for the program before, since I had not completed an appropriate high school level of education. I have you to thank for the opportunity to further my career," he said. "If it were not for you, I would not have passed my exams at Jindai."

"Oh, you're welcome," Kaname said, a bit taken aback. "But why? I mean, didn't you think about regular college?"

"My test scores and high school record are insufficient to qualify for the universities on your priority list."

"I know that," Kaname said irritably. "But what about a city school or you could take off a year or..."

"Kaname," Sousuke said softly. "You helped me do more than pass my classes. I learned how to interface with Al and use the Lambda driver. I have a duty to use that knowledge to protect people, make the world...better."

"What about protecting me?" Kaname asked in a small voice.

Sousuke swallowed hard. "You are part of the world."

She leaned forward until her forehead rested on the least damaged of his shoulders.

"I'll miss you," she said. Her warm breath dried the last of the antiseptic. Sousuke's body flexed involuntarily from the chill.

"Kaname, I-" he began.

He reached for her then, but by the time he turned around, she already had her back to him, wholly absorbed in repacking the med kit.

"You should try to sleep. I'll stand guard," Sousuke said, standing up and pulling on a shirt.

Kaname finished with the kit and moved her cot closer to Wraith. His pain showed on his face even through sleep. She picked up his hand and let his pulse soothe her, as she stretched out on the cot.

"It's because of me," she said to no one in particular.

* * *

One hundred meters under the Pacific Ocean's surface, Melissa Mao woke up under attack. Someone was in her room. Someone hovered over her. She felt his hot breath on her face. Even half-awake, her instincts knew the routine, and in less than five seconds, she had the attacker flattened to the wall, one of his wrists a millimeter from snapping under her vice-like grip.

"Ow! Not so rough! I'm still recovering from last time," a familiar voice teased.

"Kurz, I hate your goddamn guts. Get out of my room," Melissa ordered, flopping back on her bunk with a pillow over her head. "I'm not on call for another three hours."

"No can do, sexy. We got an emergency signal out of Tokyo," Kurz said and flopped down beside her.

Melissa poked half an eye out from under the pillow. "Sousuke?" she asked, her voice muted by the bedding.

"Probably. Wraith missed his check-in, too. Looks like a whole lot of trouble." Kurz leaned in to kiss her, but Melissa turned her face to the wall.

"Off my bed," her muted voice commanded. One sharp kick, and Kurz hit the ground in an ungraceful heap.

"Gimme a break, babe. You're so kissable in the morning," he complained.

Melissa propped herself up on one elbow. A pillow hit Kurz in the head. "I'm too tired for this. We gotta play hero or what?"

"Oh yeah. Briefing with the captain in five minutes."

"Shit!" Melissa sprang out of bed, hustled to her tiny bathroom, and splashed cold water on her face. Kurz stretched out on her bunk with his hands behind his head.

"I could get used to being in your bed," he mused.

Melissa pulled the toothbrush from her mouth. "Hotel rooms don't count, Weber, you idiot."

"Oh, I think they do."

"Oh, I think you're dreaming." Melissa spit in the sink and picked up a bottle of water to rinse.

"Dreaming with my eyes open."

"You're so disgusting when you leer." Melissa took off her tank top and threw it over his face. "I gotta get dressed."

He beat her to the closet and pressed his back into the door. "Kiss me," he demanded.

"Weber, I have three minutes. Cut me some slack," Melissa groaned.

"No. Kiss me."

Melissa sighed, crossed her arms, and looked away. "What happens on shore stays on shore. You know that."

"Don't make me beg, Mel. One kiss and I'll leave."

Melissa raked her fingers through her short hair. "Argh! Fine. Whatever. One-"

But his mouth was already covering hers, her hands already in his hair. She pushed him against the closet door. It was a hell of a kiss.

Almost exactly 120 seconds later, Melissa broke away. They were both breathing hard.

"And one minute to get to the briefing," she said. She reached into the closet and pulled out her jumpsuit and a clean tank top. "Quit smirking at me. We have a job to do."

"A job that starts in fifteen minutes."

"What?" Melissa punched Kurz in the arm. He laughed.

"We have fifteen minutes until the briefing."

"Dammit! You worthless-"

He stopped her mouth with a kiss.

"I'm real sorry. Can I make it up to you?"

Melissa shoved him toward her bed. "You got fifteen minutes."


	4. Rescue

Kaname awoke with a jolt in the darkness. For a sickening moment, she didn't know where she was, but Wraith's pained expression brought the stark reality of her situation back into focus. She had wanted to stay up to watch over Wraith through the night, but her exhaustion had proved too powerful.

She rolled over, sat up, and stretched. In the faint light of the early morning, she traced Sousuke's dim outline near the large sliding glass door. He gazed out over the city, intent and on alert. Kaname felt the familiar ache in her chest, the one that she only sensed when he was near. At that moment, she wanted him to say her name, and she would rush to him, throw her arms around him, and show him once and for all what he meant to her.

But he didn't call out to her. And she didn't run to him. Soon, he would be gone.

Wraith moaned in his sleep, and Kaname turned away from the window to check over his bandages. He looked paler. His breath came in shallow gasps.

"He's not doing well," Sousuke's voice broke the silence and confirmed what Kaname's untrained eye could see clearly.

"I hope someone gets here fast," Kaname replied.

"They are already here."

"What? Where?"

Kaname joined Sousuke near the window. She could see nothing out of the ordinary in the bleak early morning cityscape.

"There," Sousuke said, pointing to a nearby rooftop.

"I don't see anything."

"Here." Sousuke moved Kaname in front for him, so she could follow his line of sight. "The trash heap."

Kaname frowned. She could see the trash pile in question, but nothing aroused her suspicion in the jumble of litter, leaves, and broken furniture.

"I don't see-" Kaname began, still staring out the window. A flying gull caught her eye. Although the sea-faring creature was a long way from the coast, it wasn't uncommon to see gulls among the pigeons in Tokyo. Kaname watched as its wings tipped and dipped as the bird struggled to glide on the blustery wind.

Suddenly, the truth snapped into place in Kaname's mind. The trash heap wouldn't stay in that corner of the rooftop in the strong wind. It would blow across to the far ledge where the view of their shabby apartment was less than ideal.

"Oh," she said with a satisfied smile.

Sousuke nodded while fixing her in his grey eyes. "Good. There are three more."

"Right." Kaname tried to pick out the places with the best tactical views of the apartment and the building's entrance and then look for something that stood out.

The first one was easy. Two young men waiting at the bus stop just across the street from the building were wearing the school uniforms from a high school on the north side of the city, but they were waiting for a south-bound bus.

"Two. There," Kaname said, pointing.

The second proved a bit tricky. Kaname noted some flattened patches of grass in a deserted lot up the street and an odd shimmer in the lighting when the wind blew hard.

"AS. In the field. It's cloaked."

"Correct," Sousuke replied. He checked his watch. "They will come for us soon."

"What are they waiting for?"

"To secure the area and ensure our safety. Because we were unable to communicate any information except our location, Mithril must confirm that there are no enemy operatives before proceeding. From their perspective, we might be the bait in a trap. Or the signal might have been faked. In addition, if an unfamiliar agent moved before the designated time, we might mistake him or her for an enemy and take countermeasures."

"How will they get us out?" Kaname asked.

"Likely, we will escape via helicopter from the roof of this building."

Kaname shook her head. "We can't move Wraith up the stairs in his condition, and the elevator won't go to the roof, even it was working."

A knock at the door prevented Sousuke from answering. Even though it was likely a friend, Sousuke approached the entry point like an assassin were on the other side.

"Urzu-7! Quit wasting time! Open the door or I'll kick your ass!" a familiar voice called out.

"I apologize," Sousuke responded. His hands worked the deadbolts and chains, so he could let in his commanding officer. Melissa Mao waved him off as she entered dressed as a postal delivery person.

"Yeah, yeah. Are you kids alright?" she asked.

"Miss Chidori is fine. I received light injuries, but Wraith…"

"Jesus! He's a mess. Someone needs a field medicine refresher course," Melissa snarked as she examined Wraith's wounds.

"Tell me about it," Wraith whispered to the surprise of the group.

"Christ, you scared me," Melissa exclaimed as she pressed a hand to her heart. "I'm getting too old for this shit. Alright, we'll use the basket and get him out first. Then the three of us will get to the roof and get the hell out of here."

In less than a minute, Melissa made the arrangements over her radio headset, and she and Sousuke went to work cleansing the area. Even though the area was clear of enemies now, the apartment had to be stripped of anything that could be connected to them or Mithril. They stuffed everything that wasn't nailed down into the black trash bags that Melissa had brought in, tied off the ends, and dumped the lot of them down the garbage shoot.

"I feel pretty useless," Kaname whispered to Wraith. Sitting on the end of his cot was the only place she didn't feel in the way.

"Tell me about it," Wraith replied through pale lips. Kaname laughed in spite of the situation and reached out to touch his hand. It was much colder than last night. Wraith noticed her worried look and pulled his hand away.

"I'll be fine," he said with his unreadable eyes trained on her face. Kaname tried to put on a confident smile. To her great relief, Melissa put a hand on her shoulder.

"We're almost ready," she said. "There's one more thing."

Melissa pulled a syringe and bottle of clear fluid from her mail carrier's bag, and Wraith recoiled instantly.

"I don't want your drugs," Wraith hissed.

"Oh, give me a break! We've got to get you out over the balcony railing, and there's no way we can go it gently. You'll scream and wake the neighborhood," Melissa countered. She jabbed the needle through the thin metal cap and pulled back the plunger to fill the syringe.

"No. I will not," Wraith answered just as firmly.

"Yeah, right! When the wounds tear back open, you'll-"

"Stop it!" Kaname yelled, throwing herself between the angry Melissa and the prone Wraith. She turned to the latter and pleaded. "Please."

Wraith closed his black- and blue-rimmed eyes. "Do I have a choice?"

He didn't resist or wince when Melissa stuck the needle into the vein in his upper arm. Kaname watched as the morphine took effect, making his face go slack.

Once Wraith was out, Sousuke threw open the balcony door, and it took all three of them to maneuver the loaded cot outside. An elongated contraption floated down to them from a cloaked helicopter hovering over the building. The sound from its blades was barely audible over the street noise of the city gearing up for another workday.

Melissa and Sousuke caught the basket, balanced it on the railing, and secured it with ties. All three of them lifted the sleeping Wraith from the cot into the basket, and Kaname looked away as fresh blood inked the bandages. She had to stare at the clouds and blink hard to hold back her guilt while the others finished strapping Wraith down. As soon as they released the ties, the basket disappeared upwards and into the belly of the aircraft.

* * *

The wind, a combination of the helicopter's effect and the weather, whipped Kaname's hair away from her face. Sousuke ached when he saw her expression. He knew it too well- the sharp stab of guilt and worry unique to soldiers when a comrade falls in battle. He had meant to protect her from this, too. He had no words to comfort her, and yet his hand reached for her and settled on her shoulder. She turned to face him, and her eyes, her strength, still shined through the twist of pain.

"Let's go and catch our ride," Melissa chimed in with false cheerfulness. Apparently, Kaname wasn't the only one shaken by the severity of Wraith's wounds.

Two minutes later, they were in the air, and after stopping briefly to pick up the trash heap, who happened to be a very unhappy and wind-blown Kurz, they were headed out to sea.

As they left Tokyo air space, the German shook leaves from his long hair and reached over to pinch Kaname's arm.

"So we meet again, Angel," he said with devilish grin.

The tip of Melissa's boot landed directly on his shin. "Keep it in your pants, Weber," she scolded.

Kurz rubbed his leg and pouted. "Jealousy is an ugly thing, sis," he observed.

"Quit calling me sis. I'm not above throwing your sorry ass out of this thing."

Oddly, their bickering had a comforting effect on Kaname. Sousuke could see her eyes soften and some of her color return. He turned to the window to watch Tokyo disappearing into the distance. He never had a home because he never stayed in one place long enough to learn to love it, but when he closed his eyes, he could remember every detail of Jindai High. He could count the number the trees on the walk from the train station to Kaname's apartment. His own spartan quarters had been blown to bits by those assassins, and even though he only referred to it as a safe house, Sousuke missed it.

When he looked back to his friends, Kaname caught him frowning.

"What?" she asked.

"I don't know when I will return to Tokyo again. It's a strange feeling," he said as the city disappeared over the horizon.

"Oh," she replied before falling into an uncharacteristically quiet spell that lasted for the duration of the flight.

* * *

Six hours later, Kaname put the final touches on her report of the series of events that brought her onboard the TDD-1. She jotted down the last detail, put down her pen, and sighed. It was lonely in the cold meeting room, and no one had checked on her in hours. She tugged at the neck of the ill-fitting jumpsuit that she had borrowed from Melissa and wondered what was keeping the rest of her friends. After a quick clean-up, they had been whisked into some sort of tactical meeting, and she wasn't invited. She hadn't seen Wraith since the balcony, and Kaname had to shut her eyes against the memory of his blood welling up through the bandages. She was contemplating making a quick trip to the nearest vending machine when the door swung open.

"I don't mean to disturb you," a timid voice said. Kaname looked up to see Tessa in the doorway. The young captain looked like she might tip over at any moment and spill the tray of food stuffs she was carrying across the floor, so Kaname jumped up.

"Let me help you with that," she said while reaching for the tray.

"It's for you. I thought you would be hungry. Would you mind if we have a little chat while you eat?" Tessa asked. She relinquished the tray with visible relief.

"Sure. You're the boss around here, right?" Kaname returned to her seat and helped herself to a sweet roll and some hot tea. Tessa claimed the other cup and sat back in her chair.

"It's good to see you again, Kaname. The others will join us shortly, but I wanted to speak with you alone," Tessa said. She daintly sipped her tea, but Kaname was too hungry for good manners. She stole another sweet roll.

"It's good to see you, too, Tessa. How have you been?" Kaname asked.

"These are stressful times, so I am as well as could be expected," Tessa replied evenly. "But I am afraid that I have some bad news."

"Is it Wraith?" Kaname gulped. The rolls had suddenly lost their sweetness.

"Partly," Tessa said, fiddling with the end of her braid. "The head surgeon assured me that Wraith came out of surgery in excellent condition, considering his wounds. However, his injuries are not without permanent damage. Notably, one kidney had to be removed. While the human body can continue to function well with the one remaining kidney, it is our policy to retire such individuals from the field."

Tessa left it unspoken that Wraith would no longer be Kaname's watch guard.

"So what will he do now?" Kaname asked. She forced herself to swallow some of the tea. It tasted as warm as blood. She felt more than a little sick.

"Wraith has several options within Mithril, given his...um, her?...unique skill set. He also has the option to leave the organization," Tessa replied. Kaname noted that her sometimes rival didn't look particularly well either. Tessa's shoulders were so tense that they were almost on level with her ears, and her sweet face looked pinched and pale. Even though they were so close in age, something about Tessa made Kaname feel like her big sister.

"It's not your fault," Kaname reassured her.

Tessa looked up with a sad smile.

"Nor yours," she replied. "But Wraith's condition leaves us in a precariously position. I assume that Sergeant Sagara…Sousuke…informed you of his decision to attend the Academy and abandon..ahh... leave his post in Tokyo."

Kaname narrowed her eyes as her temper flared. Only Tessa could get under her skin like this.

"What about it?" Kaname asked.

"I'm afraid that I have little to offer you in terms of manpower to replace two agents. Our forces are stretched thin at the moment. When a large criminal group is dealt a harsh blow, such as the incident in Hong Kong, the smaller factions become more active to fill the void, as it were."

Tessa paused to sip her tea in a clear ploy to buy time to choose her words. Kaname finished the contents of her cup in a final gulp.

Tessa continued. "Despite our efforts to keep you safe, you may be in greater danger because of our involvement. Rumors persist that you are a Whispered, so groups that seek to capitalize on that knowledge may still target you. Some factions wish to develop new Black Technology. Other groups have acquired equipment, through thievery or illegal markets, that they cannot use. They will want you to train their forces. In addition, smaller groups who do not have the means to build or purchase their own Black technology may try to...umm...eliminate other groups' access to your knowledge. We believe that this type of group was responsible for the attacks yesterday. Finally, through our prolonged contact with you, some groups may try to use you as leverage against Mithril."

Kaname stared at her hands in her lap and tried to keep her face as expressionless as Sousuke's. Although it stung to hear Tessa's words, her explanation confirmed what Kaname had long suspected- that her life would never be normal again because she would never be free from danger. From the moment her name appeared on the list of potential Whispered, Kaname Chidori's chance to lead an unremarkable life ceased.

"I'll find a way to protect you, Kaname, if you wish to return to Tokyo," Tessa said in a low voice.

Wraith's battered face flashed through Kaname's mind. For a second, Sousuke's face replaced Wraith's features. Kaname blinked hard to shake the image.

"And if I don't?" she asked. She tried to fix her eyes on the friendly, floral pattern on her tea cup.

Tessa slipped a pencil and a sheet of blank white paper across the table. Kaname picked up the pencil and doodled a smiley face in corner while Tessa continued.

"Kaname, you may have noticed that even though we are both Whispered, we seem to have access to different aspects for Black Technology. For example, this submarine is my creation while you were able to teach Sousuke how to control the Lambda driver."

"I just gave him some pointers, really," Kaname replied. A headache was building behind her temples.

"Other groups have trained their pilots with the use of a dangerous drug cocktail, but the training breaks the sanity of the pilots sooner or later. The method that you imparted to Sousuke, however, works without chemical triggers. I'm sure you can see how much Mithril values this information."

"I wish I could help, but I don't really remember much of what I said to Sousuke. It just sort of came out," Kaname replied. It was difficult to concentrate on what Tessa was saying above the increasing throb of her headache.

"You can help others learn, too, Kaname. Sergeant Weber. Sergeant Major Mao."

"Sorry, I don't think I can."

Tessa frowned. "And Sousuke? How long do you think he can fight alone? How many enemies with engaged Lambda drivers can he face before he—" Tessa's shrill voice caught in her throat.

"Before he loses?" Kaname finished for her.

Tessa took another sip of tea, and when she spoke again, her voice was calm. "Yes. It is only a matter of time."

"I wish I could, Tess, but my head doesn't work like yours. I can't just make it come out. I've tried but-"

"Kaname. Look." Tessa pointed to the paper, which was far from blank now.

Kaname recognized her own handwriting, but the technical schemas that filled the page still looked like a stranger's work. Her hands shook.

"A simulation device to train pilots on the Lambda driver," Tessa confirmed what the Whispers had already told Kaname about her sketches. Tessa took the sheet of paper, folded it, and set it on top of her stack of reports. "Please help me. I can't help them without you."

"Okay, when you put it that way," Kaname laughed too loudly.

"Thank you," Tessa said with a sad smile. "I will let in the others now."

Tessa touched a button on the console embedded in table, and a moment later, the door opened. Melissa, Kurz, Sousuke, and several members of the TDD-1's crew entered and took their places around the table. Kurz winked at her, and Melissa rubbed a hand on Kaname's head as she walked past. The others gave her a small nod or smile of recognition; Kaname wondered if they were all on the SRT. She tried to remember but too much time had passed since she last visited Tessa's underwater air carrier.

Only Sousuke seemed to ignore her; he approached Tessa instead.

"Captain, a word with you," he said curtly.

"Sergeant Sagara," she acknowledged him formally. "We can speak privately after the meeting. Please take a seat."

Kaname's fingernails dug half-moons into her palms as she clenched her hands into angry fists. "Over my dead body," she hissed under her breath, as the young captain stood up to address her crew.

"Welcome, all of you. You represent the elite of our AS pilot force, so it is fitting that you be the first to hear the news. I am pleased to announce that Miss Chidori has agreed to work with Mithril to expand your AS skills. In the near future, you will de deployed to Mithril's training base. During this time, we hope that each of you can be trained to pilot an AS equipped with a Lambda driver."

Tessa smiled as a whoop of celebration went up from the assembly.

"I knew there was a reason I went out of my way to rescue you all those times, Angel," Kurz joked.

"This information will be disseminated to the rest of the crew during regularly scheduled team meetings, so please be discreet with this news until then. Dismissed," Tessa finished.

The rest of the crew filed out in a jovial mood. Only Sousuke remained behind with his face set in his standard frown.

"Captain," he began.

"Oh, we can dismiss the formalities. We are among friends now, Sousuke," Tessa tried to smile. "Tea?"

"No." Sousuke's eyes flicked over to Kaname for a moment, then back to his captain. "I wish to speak in private."

"Oh, then let me get out of your way," Kaname snapped.

"Actually, I have something to say to you both first," Tessa started. She folded her hands in her lap. "As you may know, I am a graduate of Mithril's Command Academy. I learned a great deal during my time there. Perhaps due to my success…." Tessa blushed and Kaname fumed. "…I am authorized to extend an invitation to you to join the Academy, Kaname. That is, if the two of you wouldn't mind being classmates again."

"Miss Chidori's physical prowess, marksmanship, and knowledge of tactics are above-average for a civilian," Sousuke droned. "One more than one occasion, she has demonstrated the cool-headedness and leadership necessary for the commanding officer in combat situations. In addition-"

"Oh, please," Kaname huffed. "I don't need your recommendation. She asked if you mind being my classmate!"

"Oh," Sousuke replied, taken aback. "I see no problem."

"Thanks," Kaname sneered through gritted teeth. "I'll think about it."

"Oh, certainly," Tessa replied. "But we are working with unusual circumstances. If you could let me know your answer as soon as possible…"

Kaname cut her off. "Yeah, sure."

"Thank you, Kaname. Let's catch up later when I'm off duty. Now Sousuke, you wanted to speak with me _in private_?" Tessa asked sweetly.

Kaname shot him a glare, and to his credit, Sousuke looked stricken. Beads of sweat began to pop up and pool along his collar.

"Um, I, ahh," he stammered.

"It's okay, I know what you want to say," Tessa murmered, gazing up at him.

Sousuke eyes darted over to Kaname, who was on the verge of resorting to violence.

Tessa followed his gaze. Her expression hardened when she looked at Kaname. The young captain crossed her arms over her chest and cleared her throat. "I look forward to your answer, Kaname. Why don't you take some time alone to think? You've had a rough day. Let me know if you have any questions."

It was the final straw. Kaname slammed down her hands on the table and jumped to her feet. "Yeah, I've got a question. Where do I sign?"


	5. Submarine

Tessa blinked.

"Pardon me?" she asked in small voice.

"You heard me! I'll go to the command…college…school…thing. Whatever! Sign me up," Kaname demanded. A jolt of anger sizzled through her when she saw Tessa and Sousuke share a look that she couldn't read.

"Are you sure you don't need more time to think it over?" Tessa stammered, fiddling with her long braid.

"Chidori, I recommend reconsidering. You dislike firearms," Sousuke advised.

"I said I'm in!" Kaname roared over them both. The fire in her eyes silenced their protests. Tessa returned to her seat and straightened her stack of papers. Sousuke just stood there as if facing a firing squad.

"Very well," Tessa said once she regained her composure. "I will take care of the details from here. Someone will find you later to go over the contract. In the meantime, Melissa is waiting outside to escort you to your temporary quarters."

Kaname could have killed Sousuke with her glare, but his all-purpose frown remained as unreadable as ever. He made no motion to follow her when she gave up on getting through to him and stomped out of the room. As she left, Tessa's quiet voice and Sousuke's urgent one followed her, but Kaname couldn't hear anything over the storm of her anger.

Although she had been on the TDD-1 before, Kaname found that she didn't quite know which way she should go once the door slammed behind her and left her in the hallway. Her confusion stilled her for a moment, and then, suddenly, she found her feet dangling as strong arms swept her up in an enthusiastic bear-hug.

"Angel! You're really going to share your innermost secrets with me? I'm touched. I think I love you," Kurz proclaimed.

"Put her down, you idiot," Melissa ordered. She rolled her eyes in disgust, but her smile dimmed the effect.

"Me, the Lambda driver, and a beautiful girl to teach me how to use it. It's like a dream," Kurz went on with a dopey grin. He squeezed her so tightly that Kaname could barely breathe. A hand slipped down her back, creeping lower and lower.

"Oof!" Kurz wheezed when Melissa's boot connected with nerve-cluster in his right thigh, causing him to release his unwilling captive.

"I said get your hands off her! Honestly, you're an embarrassment," Melissa groaned. "C'mon, Kaname, let's get some real food. It's always high tea with Tessa. That girl thinks everyone can live on tea and scones."

"Sure," Kaname nodded. Sweet rolls never feel right in an empty stomach. "Thanks."

"No problem. Besides, we want to get out of here before the explosion," Melissa grinned. "You coming, loser?"

"I'm not getting caught near ground zero," Kurz replied and limped after them down the corridor. Their quick walk took them past a long line of identical portals. Kaname thought that she recognized the hanger bay and the hallway that lead to the bridge as they rushed past, but she couldn't really be sure at their pace. If they went any faster, they would be jogging.

"What's going on?" Kaname asked Melissa.

Instead of responding, Kurz and Melissa exchanged a look. Kaname resisted the urge to scream at both of them. First, Tessa and Sousuke kicked her out of their "private" conversation, and now, Melissa and Kurz were hiding something from her. It was enough to make Kaname wish that she _was_ trained in firearms.

Another five doorways passed because the silent showdown ended.

"Might as well tell her," Kurz shrugged.

"I guess," Melissa sighed. Their pace never slackened, and Kaname could not see the faces of her companions well. Kurz was still rubbing the dead-leg sensation out of his thigh, and Melissa had put on her best poker face. The whole scenario made the sweet rolls in her stomach all the more sour.

"You may have noticed that Sousuke was a little…tense…" Melissa began.

"That dude is pissed," Kurz chimed in.

"Yeah, well, I'm not happy about it either," Melissa continued. "We had a rather unpleasant meeting before Tessa came to talk to you. It seems that higher ups in Mirthril have de-prioritized your protection."

"So?" Kaname asked, not understanding.

"It means that it you go back to Tokyo, no one will be protecting you," Melissa said gently.

"What?" Kaname gasped.

"Yeah," Kurz grimaced and ran hand through his hair. "Something about limited resources. For a pretty girl like you? It's bullshit if you ask me."

"Which no one did," Melissa broke in. She turned to Kaname in earnest. "Tessa tried to argue against the decision, but she was overruled."

"I don't know. It looked like she gave up to me," Kurz observed.

"Like hell! You know that Tessa isn't like that!" Melissa shouted back as her protective nature for her underage captain kicked into high gear.

"At any rate, Sousuke got pretty mad. Then Tessa shut him down in a big way-" Kurz reported.

"What was she supposed to do? Get in a shouting match with a part-timer in front of High Command?" Melissa argued.

"- and that is why we are getting as far away from that fight as possible," he continued for Kaname's benefit.

"And you didn't say a thing!" Melissa yelled. "Wanna tell your_ Angel_ why?"

They had stopped abruptly, and Melissa jabbed a finger at Kurz, who showed no sign of backing down.

"What?" Kaname asked. Her friends shifted uncomfortably and refused to meet her eyes. Again with the secrets. Kaname crossed her arms. "Tell me," she demanded.

"The bigwigs 'advised' Tessa to use your new status as leverage to get you to agree to come on board with Mithril," Melissa said flatly.

"I'm sorry to say it, but we need you in a big way, Angel. We only have one guy on our side can use the Lambda driver, and our enemies have scores. You should read the reports from the shitty recon missions we've had lately," Kurz said with a shudder.

Kaname shook her head and tried to put the pieces in place. "But that doesn't make sense. Tessa never mentioned my status or whatever you want to call it. She asked for my help, and I made the choice on my own."

"What?!" Melissa yelped.

Kurz took the opportunity to put some distance between his body and his tempermental leader.

"So if they didn't threaten you, why are you sticking around here with us, sweetheart?" he asked Kaname as he stepped behind her, as if to use her as shield.

"After yesterday...I mean what happened to Wraith...I dunno... I kind of figured out that I'm just not meant for a normal life," Kaname said.

Saying those words broke something inside of her, and the tears threatened to flow. Kaname sniffled and wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. Melissa put an arm around her shoulders while Kurz, for once, struggled to find something to say.

"It's okay. I think you made the smart move. None of us is normal around here anyway," Melissa said with a wink. "Let's get a good meal in you, and if that doesn't make you feel better, try hitting Weber. It always puts me in a great mood..."

After a meal of cold spaghetti bolognese and ice cream in the ship's galley, the smile had returned to Kaname's face. While they ate, they talked about the students back at Jindai High, and Kurz laughed so hard when Kaname told them how Shinji managed to ask out Kyoko through a photo collage of Arm Slaves that he nearly choked on his food. Melissa re-accounted some of their amusing stories from the espionage circuit, including the time she had to knock out two guards with her high heel. Kaname asked about Command Academy, and Kurz asked about Lambda driver training. By the time their plates were cleared by the last, very accommodating member of the galley crew, Melissa summed up the conversation nicely.

"We're glad you're here, Kaname," she said.

"Me, too," Kaname grinned.

"Did Tessa tell you that we're sharing a room until we hit base?"

"Two beautiful women, one room, endless possibilities," Kurz mused to himself with a dreamy look in his eyes.

"Pig," Melissa groaned.

As they turned out of the galley, Kaname spotted a red cross hanging from a doorway just down the hall.

"Hey, can I check on Wraith?" she asked.

Kurz cleared his throat, crossed his arms, and leaned against the wall with a smirk.

"Sure," Melissa said, taking a cue from Kurz that Kaname couldn't understand. "I'm going to tidy up the room a bit, so just ask someone to take you to B4 when you're ready. Gimme half and hour. C'mon, Weber, you're on maid duty."

"What? I'm not helping you clean your room, sis," Kurz complained as they walked away.

"Get over yourself. It's for Kaname," Melissa shot back. She reached out and punched his arm playfully.

"So what's in it for me?" Kurz flirted.

"You're such a brat..."

Kaname could hear their bickering all the way to the infirmary. When she pushed open the clearly marked door, she recognized a familiar figure standing over Wraith's bed.

"Sousuke," she said, half-surprised. She joined him at Wraith's bedside. The room was much smaller than Kaname had expected, but the equipment certainly appeared top-rate. The still unconscious Wraith, who never said a kind word yet took a bullet for them, looked terribly small under all the gauze. Souske was watching the monitors track vital signs while the IV dripped languidly. The ventilation system kicked on and stirred the air with a chilled breeze.

"What are you doing here?" Kaname asked when it became clear that Sousuke wasn't going to speak first.

Sousuke shrugged. The slump in his stance and the bags under his eyes told of the depth of his exhaustion. "Wraith is a comrade," he explained simply.

"Melissa and Kurz told me about what happened with high command or whatever they're called," Kaname said in a voice barely above a whisper. "Thank you."

He looked at her face then, and Kaname could trace too many lines of worry in face of such a young man.

"I am sorry that I could not do more," he apologized

"That's sweet, Sousuke. Really." Kaname tried to beam at him. "But I'm glad things worked out the way that they did."

Sousuke blinked. "I don't understand. They are using the threat of violence to make you stay."

"No one threatened me." Kaname struggled to find the right words. "I want to help. Besides, what happened to Wraith, I can't let it happen to...someone else."

She felt her cheeks go hot, but Sousuke, oblivious as ever, failed to notice.

"Mithril is meant to protect and serve. The injustice perpetrated against you by such a group is indefensible," he countered. His voice rose in volume, and Kaname grabbed his sleeve and yanked him into the corner, away from the sleeping Wraith.

"I won't say it doesn't bother me, but I can forgive it as an act of desperation. You said it yourself. There are more people to protect in the world than just me." Despite herself, Kaname's voice caught as she spoke. It was sinking in slowly. No more Toyko. No more graduation and summer vacations. She couldn't have these things anymore.

"Kaname," he began alarmed, "I did not mean-"

"It's okay," she replied and sniffed hard to push back her emotions. "I know what you meant."

For lack of words, Sousuke could only nod, and together they watched the machines do their quiet work.

* * *

Back in B4, the only mess in sight was confined to the tangled sheets on the narrow bunk and a puddle of clothes nearby on the floor.

"You are ruining me for other women," Kurz sighed and tugged a piece of Melissa's hair.

"Shhh," she murmured, half-asleep already. Her head rested on his shoulder, and in the afterglow, their limbs formed a happy jumble.

"Any time you want help cleaning up, I'd be happy to oblige." Kurz took a hard poke to the tender flesh between his ribs. Undeterred, he went on. "No, really. It's my pleasure."

A small hand closed over his mouth.

"Can you shut up for one minute? Jeez," Melissa scolded. Kurz kissed the palm pressed to his lips, and she nestled closer, one leg thrown over his.

He had seen her do incredible things: take out an entire enemy battalion without losing a single hostage, lead her unit to surprise victory when the bad intel crippled the battle plan, scramble a man's brains with his own nasal bones. One uppercut to the face, and he was dead. They had been pinned down and were out of ammo at the time, he recalled. Terrifying in combat, her breath-taking beauty at that moment, pressed against his chest and not a stitch of cloth on either of them, hit him harder than one of her punches ever could.

"You're something else, babe," he whispered into her hair.

"Argh! Your mouth never stops!" she complained and turned away from him to the wall.

"What? Can't you take a compliment?" he jested. He rewrapped her in his arms.

"I can think of something else you could be dong with that mouth right now," she shot back.

Kurz laughed, and despite herself, Melissa did, too. She turned back to face him and take her turn to pull on his hair.

"You and your dumb haircut," she teased, so when he slipped a hand behind her neck and grabbed a handful of her hair, she expected a snappy comeback. Instead, he kissed her.

Although they had shared every inch of their bodies many times, Melissa's eyes went wide from the tenderness of this kiss.

She pulled back, and her glassy expression made his heart drop.

"Kaname will be here soon," she said, too loudly. Despite his strength, Kurz couldn't stop her from climbing out of bed. She made it into the tiny shower before he could get to his feet.

"Mel, don't," he pleaded. He pulled on his pants just in case Kaname did interrupt them and moved closer to the shower to hear her over the drumming of water on metal.

"C'mon, Kurz, let's be real here. This was supposed to be a one-time shore leave thing." The faucet squeeked as she twisted the flow off and reached for a towel. Showers on submarines are always depressingly short and nearly always cold, so she almost seemed to welcome the warmth when she stepped out and he pulled her, towel and all, into his arms.

"Ok, you want to talk reality? You _really_ jumped me, babe," Kurz said bitterly.

Melissa opened her mouth to protest, but he cut her off.

"And _really_, I'm not complaining because you're _really_ hot and I _really_ like being with you, Mel." He leaned down and pressed a kiss into her collarbone. "Shore leave or not, this thing was a _real_ long time coming."

She heaved a sigh and leaned into him. "I'm not going to kick you out or pretend that this never happened, but I _really_ don't want-"

"Emotional baggage?" he tried.

"- a reprimand on my record for inappropriate relations with a subordinate. We've got Kaname onboard to get us back into the AS elite, and we've both worked to hard to get left behind because some physical affair," she concluded.

"So what? You _really_ want to give up the best sex of our lives?"

"Hell no! I _really_ don't want to get caught, so we _really _can't afford...complications." She reached up messed up his hair, like he was a kid. "Can you handle that, soldier?"

Something in her sad, almost maternal smile stung him more than a volley of rubber bullets. He closed the distance between them, bringing her closer and closer until she broke down, took the bait, and kissed him.

"Can you?" he whispered.


	6. All Nighter

A/N: Thanks for sticking it out and reading this. Love!

* * *

Kaname stared into the darkness, wide awake and annoyed.

"Hey, you should know Sis snores," Kurz had warned her with an impish grin when they had passed in the hallway earlier. At the time, she thought he was just teasing her. She should have known better when Sousuke reminded her that the infirmary stocked earplugs before depositing her at the door of B4.

Now, not even a pillow over the head could dampen the noise. The sound was a living thing that slipped past every barrier to nest in her ears and gnaw on her patience. Her head throbbed from exhaustion, but sleep wouldn't come. Even if she could manage the noise level, Kaname swore that she felt the bunk vibrating as the petite Melissa Mao snored like a lumberjack with an upper respiratory infection. In the infrequent intervals that she wasn't rattling the room with her breathing, Melissa also talked in her sleep. She babbled incoherently for the most part, but Kaname made out Kurz's name more than once along with something about an ass kicking.

When the headache graduated from a generalized ache to a piercing pain behind her eyes, Kaname gave up the dream of sleep with a sigh. She heaved herself off the upper bunk and padded around the small room until she found her clothes and shoes in the dark. Maybe, if she was lucky, the infirmary stocked ibuprofen t,oo.

Since she had paid attention earlier, it wasn't hard to trace her steps back to the ship's tiny clinic. She passed a few members of the crew on her way but didn't recognize any of them. More than one gave her a curious look. She wondered, briefly, what they were doing awake at such a late hour until she remembered exactly where she was. Like a shark, a submarine on patrol is always moving through the dark waters, so the crew never sleeps as a whole. The infrequency of new faces on an underwater vessel probably accounted for the strange stares. Kaname slipped into the quiet infirmary without incident, but she breathed a little easier when the door clicked closed behind her.

Once inside, Kaname crept over to check on her long-time protector. Someone had dimmed the overhead halogens, and it took her eyes a few moments to adjust to the bluish twilight. In the half-light, Wraith's dark hair and pale face looked feminine against the white bedding. She looked almost like the sleeping maiden in fairy tales as Kaname watched her breathing come in long, even intervals and some color blush along her cheeks.

For a long time, it had bothered Kaname that she lacked even the most basic knowledge about Wraith, but somehow, things like age and gender stopped mattering after a while. Wraith was Wraith. Wraith preferred watching from the rooftops and staying uninvolved, but one time, a drunken customer who tried to grope Kaname at work walked out to find three busted tires on his car. Sousuke was called away on assignment at the time, and all of her co-workers claimed innocence. Another time, Wraith called in a bomb threat to the high school on a particularly perfect spring morning just to get the day off. Sousuke had been placed in detention for walking into the girl's locker room (again) and couldn't watch over Kaname, so Wraith phoned in the threat and sent a two-word text message to Sousuke: "I'm busy". Most of the time, Wraith's detached approach to surveillance, fondness for dressing like obese business men, and devil-may-care attitude made the agent seem like a jaded guy. Even so, it was easy to see Wraith as a young woman while she remained motionless on the bed and the medical machines hovered over her, staring out with unblinking, button eyes.

Kaname noted a fresh pitcher of water on a tray near the bed, but from the looks of it, Wraith had not yet awakened from surgery.

Trying to be as quiet as possible, Kaname rummaged through the large set of cabinets for earplugs and something to quell the storm inside her skull. All the labels were in English, and the stress of translation made her headache worse. The earplugs were easy enough to locate; she could recognize them by sight. The pain pills proved difficult. The cabinets held drawer after drawer of near-identical bottles with nondescript labels. Even if the writing were in Japanese, the challenge of trying to read in the shadowy room was enough to make her eyes water and her vision go blurry.

And she hurt. The aching radiated through her, top down, and recruited new organs in the crusade of pain. Her stomach enlisted and worked in tandem with her ringing ears to add nausea and vertigo to the unpleasant mix. Her calf muscle cramped and forced her to lean on the cabinet door for support. In the middle of the surge of sickness, a part of her mind reasoned that something was definitely not right. It was no mere headache anymore. She reached for a pad of paper and a pen to write a note to the attending physician before sinking to the floor. All Kaname wanted to do was to curl into a ball in a dark room and sleep. She missed her own bed, but a bunk in B4 would do. The doctor should come and check on her, though. Maybe she caught typhoid fever in that rat-trap of an apartment that Sousuke had called a safe house. She hoped the physician could read Japanese because she couldn't figure out the English at the moment.

Her hands shook as she began to write.

_Kaname._

She looked up and found Wraith's now open eyes pinning her under a cold stare. Kaname shivered. What a trick Wraith had, freezing someone with a look, she thought dimly as her eyes drifted closed again.

"Kaname," Wraith urged. "Wake up."

The girl willed her eyes open and forced a few deep breaths in and out of her lungs. The rush of oxygen sparked her senses, and she became aware of the film of sweat on her skin. It was evaporating quickly as the ventilation system duct directly above her poured out scrubbed air. No wonder she felt so cold.

She looked down at her hands. One clutched the pen, the other the notepad. Strange writing and sketches filled the pages. All of the pages.

"Not again," Kaname groaned. She smacked her head a few times. "Stupid Whispers." At least the headache had retreated to a mildly annoying but manageable level.

"Water," Wraith rasped suddenly.

"Huh?" She remembered the pitcher by the bed. "Oh yeah. Hang on a sec."

She tested her legs, and when they didn't seize up with cramps, Kaname trotted over to the tray and filled the waiting cup. She offered the straw to Wraith's cracked lips. "Here you go."

Wraith took a few sips before letting her head drop back on the pillow.

"Can I do anything for you?" Kaname asked.

"Leave," Wraith replied.

"That's pretty rude, you know. I've been really worried about you!" Kaname griped.

"Worrying is stupid. Now leave," Wraith returned.

"Worrying is perfectly normal when _someone_ is practically dying!"

"Whose fault is that?"

"Do you have to be such a jerk? If you weren't already in a hospital, I'd..." Kaname stopped her rant when she saw a faint smile curling Wraith's lips. She blew out a long breath before falling back into one of the bedside chairs.

"Getting your kicks out of annoying people is pretty sick, even for a mercenary," she sighed and rubbed her temples.

"You make it too easy," Wraith explained. Her now-open eyes narrowed when she saw Kaname's hands working at the sides of her head. "You were screaming."

"I was?" Kaname fretted for a moment before breaking into a wide grin. "So you were worried."

She saw Wraith's eyes go wide before snapping away to stare at the ceiling.

"You woke me up," the operative stated.

"And you were worried," Kaname gloated.

Wraith set her face into a blank expression and closed her eyes, but even in the half-light, Kaname could see the blue veins under the pale skin throbbing in annoyance. Kaname heard a series of clicks and wondered at the source until she spotted a small cylinder-shaped object in Wraith's hand. It attached to long cord that snaked back to the IV. Kaname's shoulders slumped as she recognized it as a morphine pump. It wasn't annoyance behind Wraith's mask of indifference; it was pain.

"I'm really sorry about what happened," she started to apologize.

"You should be," Wraith said in her flat alto. Her features tensed momentarily and then softened as the drugs worked through her system.

Kaname chose to ignore the jab and pressed on. "Tessa said that you'll still have a lot of options even without a kidney, so that's good, right?"

After a heavy moment, Wraith turned to look at her. "I am considering returning to Tokyo as a civilian," she said.

"Really? That's great. What would you do?" Kaname tried to keep the conversation going.

"Go back to University," the agent responded, her eyes intent on Kaname's reaction. Wraith usually didn't look anyone in the eye. It was starting to creep Kaname out.

"You'll have to take a bunch of tests and stuff. I bet you could start midyear," Kaname figured.

"I could start right away. I would just need a few new items for my disguise," Wraith went on with eyes that glinted with mischief.

Finally, Kaname put it together. "No way! You're not stealing my identity!"

"Why not? You won't need it."

"Because, it's my life! You can't just waltz in and-"

"Excuse me," a new voice chimed in. Kaname turned around as a young woman with tired eyes stepped into the room. She carried a clipboard, and her regulation jumpsuit sported a red cross stitched on a white badge at the shoulder. "The patient needs to rest. You are welcome back tomorrow at 1600 hours."

Kaname surprised herself by having the energy to jump out her chair. "I'm sorry. I was just looking for something for a headache," she said with a nervous laugh.

The medic fished a small orange bottle out of the cabinet. "It can take a few weeks to adjust to the air and pressure under water. Please take one of these no more than four times a day, as needed," she said as she handed the bottle to Kaname and gently pushed the girl out of the door.

"Thanks. We'll talk later!" Kaname called over her shoulder and giggled when Wraith shot her a disapproving glare.

In the hall, she popped one of the pills without water and made a face at the bitter aftertaste. Her smile returned in a moment, and she kept smiling all the way back to B4. It was not until she felt the vibrations of Melissa's snoring through the door handle that Kaname remembered that she left the earplugs back on the water tray.

"You have got to be kidding me," she grumbled and pressed her forehead on the wall.

"I tried to tell you, Angel. That girl has lungs," Kurz's voice broke in.

Kaname turned around and leaned into the door. Her head made a satisfying thud on the metal.

"All I want to do is sleep!" she whined.

"Aw, you know I would offer you my bunk, but you'd have to share it with a certain Sgt. Serious," Kurz teased.

"Really?" Kaname's eyes brightened. "I would share a room with a sea monster if it didn't snore."

Kurz tipped back his blonde head to laugh. "I don't think so, Angel. Space is a little tight on the TDD-1, so we've gone back to barracks style for the guys. And since Sousuke doesn't have an assigned bed anymore, we're doing a little hot bunking until we get back to base. So unless you want to share a room with twenty guys and a bed with Sousuke..."

"You take turns sleeping on the same bed?" Kaname crinkled her nose. "That doesn't sound hygienic."

"You gotta do what you gotta do, babe." Kurz joined her against the wall with a yawn. "If you can wait four hours, you can have this room to yourself."

Kaname rubbed the palms of her hands on her eyelids. "Why are you hanging around here? I'm too tired for your perversions."

"That makes two of us," Kurz sighed. "I was just passing by. You know. Killing time till my next shift. C'mon, you can keep me company."

"Will you stop being so cheerful and get me some coffee?"

"You bet. It tastes a little like diesel, but there's enough caffeine in it to wake the dead." He tapped her shoulder, and she moved away from the wall with an unhappy grunt.

"Why aren't you tired?" she mumbled as she followed him down the corridor.

"You get used to long shifts after awhile. Keep moving. Keep talking. Mainline stimulants. You smoke?"

Kaname shook her head so hard that her long ponytail whipped Kurz across the back.

"Whoa! A simple 'no' would do," he scolded, but his expression softened when he saw her miss a step and nearly tumble over. His hand caught her under the elbow and held her up.

"You don't look so good," he observed. A pair of midshipmen gave them both a knowing look as they passed.

"Already hitting on the new recruit?" one asked.

"Weber, you dog!" the other snickered.

"I wish. I'm on tour guide duty," Kurz said with a faked grin and waved them off. "Let's try to keep you out of the rumor mill, okay? Mel would kill me. It's not far to a break room," he whispered to Kaname.

She nodded and flushed at his proximity. In addition to being an unrepetant flirt and a bit of a pervert, Kurz was also a cover model, and it was rather nice to get the full attention of a good-looking guy, not that she would ever, ever consider dating him. Kurz held her arm the rest of the way to a bland yet functional alcove equipped with a few soda machines and a coffee maker. Kaname sank into a metal chair and buried her head in her arms while he gathered some mugs. Kurz took a guess and made hers with lots of cream and sugar.

"I hate feeling like this," Kaname complained into the tabletop when Kurz took his seat. He pushed her mug across the table until the heat from it against her bare arm roused her. She blew on the top before taking an impressive gulp.

"You wanna tell me what's going on? You look like you got beat up by a ghost," Kurz observed.

"Besides the exhaustion and the nearly getting killed? I had a run-in with the Whispers," Kaname said and slid her notebook across the table. Kurz let out a low whistle.

"Any idea what it is?" he asked as he thumbed through the pages.

"More stuff about the Lambda driver probably."

Kurz pushed away the notebook with shrug. "I probably shouldn't be looking at this. We should get it to the captain."

"Yeah, sure." Kaname took another gulp of coffee. It really did taste a little like diesel.

"You know, being around all this Black Technology is probably what's triggering you," Kurz said. "This whole ship came out of Tessa's head. Maybe if we tried distracting you, you'd feel better."

"I think I just need to sleep." Kaname yawned and rubbed her eyes again.

"C'mon, think of it as training for the Command Academy. You don't want to be the first to wash out," Kurz tried to cheer her up.

"I survived Japanese high school. I think I'll be fine," Kaname returned hotly. The coffee was waking up her temper as well as the rest of her, so when Kurz nearly fell out his chair laughing, she nearly punched him. "What's so funny?" she yelled.

Kurz wiped the tears from his eyes and tried to take some deep breaths. Years of Melissa's threats had left him with little fear of angry, violent women. "You have got to be kidding. Nothing can get you ready for Command," he got out between chuckles.

Kaname's face went beet red and then alabaster white.

"Don't tell me you don't know," Kurz joked even as his own laughter died in his throat.

"Know what?" she hissed.

"Like 90 percent of the people who start Command Academy drop out within the first week. Less than 5 make it through the full three years. All the recruits have to sign some sort of nondisclosure agreement so no one is allowed to talk about what happens there, but everybody says it's Hell. And that's coming from some of the toughest military-types in the world." Kurz frowned. "Didn't Sousuke or Tessa tell you?"

Kaname answered by ripping the metal chair out of the bolts that held it to the deck and throwing it against the wall.

* * *

Nearly four hours and several pots of coffee later, Kurz and Kaname were in the hanger bay. Kurz pointed at a nearby tank.

"Alright, we went over this one earlier. Resource type, benefit, and weakness," he ordered.

"Fleet A-24. Nickname: Rolling Thunder for its artillery capabilities. Based on fourth generation M1 Abrams design. Ideal for urban combat missions and patrols due to superior maneuverability and armor. Susceptible to roadside bombs and overheating," Kaname rattled off.

Kurz dazzled her with a grin. "You're a quick study, little sis. Tomorrow we can go through my personal favorite: firearms."

Kaname groaned. "I can't wait. Yay memorization." She finished by taking a very unenthused swig of coffee.

"On the bright side, Miss Sunshine, you nail everything related to Black Technology, even the newest stuff. Hell, you're practically tutoring me," Kurz went on, unabashedly cheerful.

Kaname rolled her eyes. "Great. I can play 'Name That AS' while some crazed instructor pummels me into the ground with it," she huffed.

Kurz stuffed his hands into his pockets with a shrug and started for the entryway. "Let's get you back to bed, grumpy girl."

She fell into step behind him and noted that the hallways were more crowded because of the shift change. She forced her legs to keep up with Kurz's long strides while dodging clumps of ship men and piles of gear. Kurz waved at almost every one, and most of them returned the greeting with a smile.

"Wow, you're pretty popular around here," Kaname observed.

"Don't act so surprised. I'm a pretty nice guy," Kurz said as he winked at an older woman with hands stained black by grease. She blew him a kiss in return.

"I'll bet," Kaname muttered under her breath, but at the door to B4, she found herself reaching out to tug on Kurz's sleeve.

"Hey, you think I'll make it?" she asked and then cringed at how desperate she sounded.

"Oh yeah. Any girl who can civilize Sousuke 'I'm a Specialist' Sagara won't have any trouble at some dumb school," Kurz reasoned. He gave her shoulder a squeeze. "You're smart, a natural leader, and a whiz with the tech to boot. You'll do fine. Besides, if Tessa can make it then you'll have no problem."

"Thanks, Kurz," she smiled at him. "You're a really decent guy, when you're not trying to steal my underwear."

The door swung open to reveal a bleary-eyed Melissa. She groaned when she saw Weber.

"Geez, it's too early to deal with you," she griped before swiping Kurz's coffee and chugging it. She tossed the empty mug back over her shoulder as she stalked down the hall. Kurz lunged to catch it before it shattered against a wall.

"C'mon, loser, we got a briefing to attend. Catch ya later, Kaname," she said over her shoulder.

Kurz turned to Kaname and pulled a pitiful face before following after his commanding officer. "You see what I gotta put up with? Later, Angel."

"Wait a sec!" Kaname called after them. Both of the soldiers stopped to look back at her. She beamed her best smile at Kurz and planted a kiss on his cheek. "Thanks again for watching out for me."

"Anytime," he winked back.

"Break it up. We got work to do!" Melissa jeered. The pair started back down the hall as Kaname turned the latch on the door to B4 and stepped inside with a smirk. The look on Melissa's face had confirmed everything she suspected.


	7. Base

Sousuke found that, as long as he waited for Kaname to go under the spell of the Whispers first, he could lean in close enough to spot the tell-tale signs before she started screaming or tearing at her clothes or worse. Her lips moved the whole time, but when the first, tiny sound escaped and her eyes began to blink in triple time, he had just seconds to rouse her.

The most effective way to reach her was through skin-to-skin contact. He discovered it quite accidentally during the second time that he had watched over her. The intensity of her headaches dictated when she needed to find a quiet place to release the torrent of impossible knowledge, but they had been busy playing cards with Melissa and Kurz. Kaname's fierce competitive nature had kicked into high gear, and she insisted on playing hand after hand of poker until she won, ignoring the building pressure in her head. By the time she let herself walk away from the table, the Whispers had sucked her down so deep that he could never shout her name loud enough to reach her. He tried to shake her to no avail. The glass of water had no effect. Only when he so despaired to see her suffer that he dared to touch her cheek did she come to instantly.

Tessa said that it was just a phase. The young captain reassured both of them that she, too, went though similar periods from time to time. Of course, Tessa had learned to deal with the Whispers from a much younger age. She could bring herself out of the trance alone. Kaname fumed, her pride clearly wounded, and claimed that if Tessa could do it, then so could she. Sousuke did not try to argue with her. He learned in the two years with her that logic couldn't sway Kaname when she was in one of her moods. Instead of persuasion, he used the method that worked best in the past: dog her steps (no matter how much or how cruelly she railed against him) until she gave up and accepted his protection.

She did rage when she came back to consciousness and found herself in his arms with his calloused hand cupping her face and that look in his eyes. She called him the same old names and stomped off after using the halisen on his battle-weary head with particular gusto. She didn't like to be weak or dependent, so he understood her anger for what it was. She didn't fight him off the next time she needed to let her mind dump out its strange memories, however, and she blushed quite prettily when she woke up holding his hand. She seemed to accept his part in her odd ritual as long as it started with him across the room, feigning total indifference. Only when she was good and mesmerized could he get close enough to watch her mouth form the words it shouldn't know.

He heard her uttered a half syllable then, and his hand darted out and closed over hers. Her head snapped back, and for a second, her staring eyes were as empty as a doll's. It was such a long second for him.

"Kaname," he urged.

She drew a ragged breath, blinked, and returned to herself. She pushed the half-filled notepad away with a shudder.

"That wasn't fun," she said as she put her head down on the table.

Sousuke took his cue. She had asked him earlier to talk to her until her mind purged some of the nastier images that an encounter with the Whispers left burned into her mind.

"Right," he nodded and took a deep breath. He had an anecdote prepared. "You may remember that Sgt. Major Mao did not always snore as she does now. The medic said that it is a result of an accident with a crossbeam six months ago. The theory is that the impact to her head 'shook something loose'. While it is possible that the start of her snoring is little more than a coincidence, Mao was moved to a separate quarters until the proper treatment could be found. However, she has been avoiding her check-ups, and we think she is doing so to retain her single-room status. Kurz said-"

"Ugh. I don't want to know what came out of that guy's filthy imagination," Kaname groaned and then found a small smile for him. "That's one of your better stories. Good work."

"I am glad that it amused you," he responded. "Are you ready?"

She freed her hand from his grip with an exaggerated stretch and a yawn.

"Do you think Tessa will have coffee or just tea?" she asked absently. Both of them were due to meet Melissa, Kurz, Tessa, and a very reluctant Wraith for a brief breakfast before they took leave of the TDD-1. The submarine had docked at the island base some time in the night, and they were to report to the academy by late afternoon.

He gathered up their rucksacks before opening the door for her.

"Likely, the captain will serve only tea," he said as she brushed past him with her notepad tucked under one arm. The navy blue of the Command Academy uniforms suited her, he noted, even though the design was clearly intended for a male form and sized for him. She would get her own sets from the quartermaster on base, so the fit would improve a great deal soon. He tried to shake the thought of Kaname changing clothes and focus on walking while balancing the luggage.

"Hey, before it gets too crazy, I wanted to say thank you," she said.

"Neither of the bags is particularly heavy. It is not a problem," he returned.

"No, I mean for...you know...for watching out for me and for helping me get ready for Command. Really, thanks," Kaname said.

"You've made good progress on the new information in one week." Sousuke cleared his throat. The compliment had sounded more, well, _complimentary_ in his head.

"Yeah, I owe all you guys big time. There's nothing like four personal tutors to whip a city girl into shape," she remarked while he organized his thoughts.

"I'm glad that we'll be classmates again," he tried.

It worked. She beamed at him. "Me, too."

He smiled back and pushed open the door to the captain's private rooms.

The friends enjoyed a quick visit over a breakfast of Tessa's tea and scones, although Sousuke noticed Kurz sneak coffee into Kaname's cup from a hip flask. When he saw them share a secret smile, Sousuke's fists clenched involuntarily, causing him to spill some of the hot black tea on his lap. Tessa was delighted to refill his cup for him, and when he caught Kaname shooting them both dead with a look, he finally understood a little more of why she might consider the captain's innocent helpfulness as hostile behavior.

Since the TDD-1 was scheduled back at base in two weeks, there was no need for heart-felt farewells. Kaname hugged everyone, including Wraith, who had been persuaded to join the party on the promise of getting some time out of the sick bay. The operative rolled his eyes but looked full into Kaname's face as she pulled away.

"Chidori. Don't let the bastards grind you down," he told her.

Everyone tried not to notice when Tessa gasped and dropped the cup she was carrying, and it shattered on the floor. Her clumsiness was a sore point for the young woman. She muttered an apology, but Sousuke noted that she let her braid hide her face when she bent to pick up the pieces.

Kaname didn't miss a beat. "Thanks, Wraith. See you around then."

"You won't," Wraith said in that flat voice, but something akin to amusement played across his stoic features.

Kaname took up her own bag, and together, they headed through the exit hall to disembark in the cloudless morning.

Without speaking first, they both stopped halfway across the gangplank to relish the refreshing scent of salty, fresh air. The subtropical breeze combed through Kaname's long hair, and she held out her hands to feel the press of the clean air.

"Don't tell Tessa," she sighed contentedly as the wind caressed her, "but that submarine kind of smells inside after awhile."

"Long dives are difficult for the air scrubbers," he explained, noting how something as simple as wind could bring both of them joy. Most of the time, Sousuke had no idea how to please her, but then there were moments like this one when he knew, instinctively and exactly, how she felt.

"I don't know how you all can live on that thing." She paused as the sweet wind played across her face. "Hey Sousuke, about what Wraith said. What did it mean?"

Sousuke thought for a moment. "The captain's behavior would make it seem like he said something of importance, but that particular expression has been in the military since WWII. Beyond the obvious interpretation of the saying, I am not sure what he meant."

"Guess we'll find out," she shrugged, and they crossed onto the island in comfortable silence.

The rest of the day passed in a maze of offices and appointments. First, they filled out the paperwork to transfer both of them to the base- semi-permanently for Sousuke since the TDD-1 retained the right to recall him for key operations and permanently for her. Then, Kaname needed to get the rest of her gear, which took much longer than it should have since the strong-willed girl made some rather demanding requests.

"Honestly, you can't wonder why there are so few women in Mithril. They tried to assign me boxer briefs!" she explained to Sousuke while he sweated profusely despite the cool weather, and the quartermaster chuckled and scrounged up some non-masculine underthings.

After that, both of them checked in with the doctor on-call. Sousuke needed to log in a regularly-scheduled physical, and Kaname needed a full exam for admittance. When the doctor asked her to disrobe, she kicked Sousuke out of the examination room without letting him get out a word of protest. He had to ask a nurse to deliver the letter that Tessa wrote for Kaname's medical file about the headaches and fits caused by the Whispers. Kaname emerged nearly two hours later, pricked, prodded, and in a terrible mood, but otherwise unscathed. The doctor followed Tessa's advice and made a formal recommendation to permit Sousuke to accompany Kaname any time she needed to clear her head, and Sousuke tucked two copies of the decree- one for the Academy and one for his personal use- into his front pocket.

They didn't have time to check into the barracks before the first scheduled meeting for Command Academy, which everyone on base referred to as MCA, so they were forced to report in with their rucksacks and empty, growling stomachs at 1600.

A friendly clerk assigned them each a stack of forms and ushered them into a lecture-style classroom. It took nearly an hour to go through the forms, most of which were variations on oaths to maintain the code of secrecy surrounding MCA and background logs for new clearance codes.

He only tripped up on one question and passed it to Kaname for guidance. She gave him an incredulous look but filled it out anyway. When she passed it back to him, he noted that she had filled in the blank next to "Number of Intimate Relationships in the Past Five (5) Years" with a zero.

Finally, a woman dressed in a crisp navy suit that looked like the dress version of their functional uniforms appeared at the front of the room.

"Good evening," she began and then waited for the group to give her their full attention. "I am Colonel Tricia Avant, but you may call me Auntie."

Some of the group chucked, and the woman smiled like a Cheshire cat.

"I am not here to make you feel better, and I will not hold your hand," she went on. "That said, it is my job to turn you into fine officers, so I will, at times, serve as your advocate. As you are aware, the curriculum in MCA is highly customized to the specific needs and talents of its students. After the initial two-week evaluation period, any person remaining in the program will begin the official training, and we'll get to know each other rather well. Any questions before I go over the basic guidelines of MCA? Yes?"

A lanky West African man rose from his seat. "Ma'am. Are the rumors about the retention rate of students accurate?"

Auntie leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms. "That depends on what you've heard. Some years, as many as 95 percent of the candidates drop out of the program. Most leave or are asked to leave within the first two weeks. However, the average graduation rate is closer to 20 percent. I would like to take this opportunity to remind those of you who did not fully read the induction packet in front of you that the standard duration of obligation to Mithril service after graduation is five years, but any one who lasts beyond the first two weeks will be required to serve a pro-rated term. Any more questions? No?"

She glanced around the room to wait for takers before continuing.

"Very well. MCA has only three simple rules. You are not in basic training and I am not your mommy, so what you do and when you do it is not my responsibility. There are no official meal times, lights out, or required study sessions. However, you must report to any and all classes and drills unless you have official medical leave. Failure to comply means you're out. That's rule one.

Rule two: all MCA students must meet and maintain a minimum level of proficiency on all assignments. Failure to meet this standard at all times means you're out.

Rule three: improvement is expected and tracked closely. Failure to meet benchmarks for improvement is grounds for immediate dismissal."

A twenty-something woman, the only other female candidate besides Kaname, raised her hand. She rose from her seat when Auntie acknowledged her with a nod.

"Ma'am. Are we to understand that dismissal from MCA occurs on first offense?"

"Unequivocally and emphatically, yes," Auntie replied. "We don't believe in second chances."

The door opened, and two members of the support team started carrying in various platters of food. Auntie stood up and raked the room with her stern gaze. "I have taken the liberty of bringing your dinner here. Get to know each other. You have one hour."

The group stood as she left the room, but as soon as they were alone, the chatter began.

"Did she just order us to make friends?" Kaname asked Sousuke in a low voice.

"It sounded more like a suggestion, but likely, yes." He surveyed the room. The entirety of the candidates accounted for no more than fifteen people, who were rapidly splitting into two groups: those hovering around the steaming trays and those watching each other as if sizing up the situation.

After a moment, the tall, dark-skinned man stood up and cleared his throat. Sousuke took the opportunity to study him more closely. The man was easily the oldest of the students, likely nearing 40. He looked to be in prime physical shape with ropey, long limbs and bright eyes. His deep voice carried a natural air of command, and the group respected his desire to speak without reticence.

"Excuse me," he said in beautifully lilting English. "I would very much like to learn your names _before_ we eat. I have heard a great number of rumors about this program, and it is possible that this is a test of some kind."

"I've heard those rumors, too," agreed a stocky Spaniard with striking blue-grey eyes. Several heads nodded around the room.

"Then we are agreed. I am Birame Soondi, but my friends call me Bear," the tall man continued with a grin full of dazzling white teeth.

One by one, the students introduced themselves. Sousuke wasn't the only person in the room who wrote down the names on the back of one of the forms for future reference, but after the first round, he could only remember a few name of the top of his head. Cordelia Delgado, who asked to go by Del, was easy to recall because she and Kaname were the only women. Bear was unforgettable, and Sousuke marveled at his innate ability to command respect as a leader. The Spaniard made a joke about the length of his full name, so it was easy to remember the single surname he finally gave, Castillo. Sousuke did not recall the real name of the youngest member of the group, a wisp of a boy who looked thirteen at most, because the room immediately nicknamed the poor kid Cricket for his squeaky voice, buggy eyes, and tendency to bounce in his seat. He doubted that anyone remembered his own name after the initial go-around. He used to rest of the hour to listen in on the small, side conversations to gather more information while everyone ate.

Kaname took a different approach. She went around and properly introduced herself to every person in the room. Each interaction lasted only a few minutes, but she seemed to draw on her skills as a class rep and her gregarious nature to make fast friends of the lot of them.

As if on cue, Auntie reappeared after exactly sixty minutes. She stilled them with her hard look.

"Please write down the names of everyone on this room and rank them in order of your preference as a partner for the drills tomorrow. You have three minutes to meet me in the hall with your lists," she commanded and then smiled that slick grin of hers. "And one more thing, any form of communication during this task is forbidden."

With that, she turned on her heel and exited the room.

Sousuke used his notes and made quick work of the assignment. Kaname joined him shortly after in the hallway, and thanks in part to Bear's leadership, no one missed the three minute deadline.

"Interesting," Auntie observed as the last person turned in his assignment in just under 2 minutes, 30 seconds.

Sousuke wondered how a simple word could sound so much like a threat.


	8. Barracks

A/N: Please forgive the deluge of new characters. Pick your favorites now because Auntie is going to do some house-cleaning in the next chapter.

* * *

The mood amongst the newest batch of candidates at MCA was decidedly jovial, Sousuke noted as he followed the group back to the barracks.

Cricket had latched onto Castillo, whose reputation as a weapons expert preceded him, and peppered him with a barrage of technical questions about the new Chinese surface-to-air missiles. Castillo tried to answer with a straight face, but his aquiline nose kept snorting with laughter at the young man's hopping gait. The dark-skinned Del and a ruddy Irishman nicknamed Dibs knew each other from their training days at basic and were catching up with each other while trading gossip about their common comrades. Bear had taken an almost paternal shine to Kaname, and the pair trailed the rest of the crew while they shared stories about their respective, scattered families.

Sousuke walked alone. Kaname told him enough times that other people mistook his curt responses to friendly inquiries for rudeness, so he learned to avoid small talk. The others did not seem to mind his taciturn ways. As he scanned the faces around him, Sousuke noted that he was not the only quiet member of the group.

The trio of guys in front of him, however, made enough noise for all of them. Their loud conversation centered on comparing recent sexual conquests and recounting tales of week-long benders. Sousuke had tuned them out, but when their voices dropped down to near whispers, the relative quiet caught his attention.

"…I dunno. Put me with the long-haired one," the guy with wireless glasses finished.

"Are you kidding? She doesn't look like she's ever held a gun, never mind won a battle!" said a spiky-haired blonde.

"I'd be happy to let her hold my gun," quipped the Greek with a small pony-tailed of curly, black hair. He glanced over his shoulder at Kaname and licked his lips. Sousuke's eyes narrowed. He quickened his pace to get a few steps closer to hear the conversation.

"She's damn hot, that's for sure. But I know what you mean. When I saw her, I was, like, why is she even here? So that's why I put her down as my top choice for partners tomorrow." The bespectacled man paused to slap a mosquito. "Maybe she's some sort of genius."

"You think she's one of those Whispered?" the blonde asked.

"Maybe. Or maybe some commander took one look at that body and got ideas," laughed the Greek. His friends shushed him before the others could take too much notice.

No longer able to follow their now-hushed conversation, Sousuke fell into step with Kaname and Bear.

"Kaname told me that you are the pilot who can fight with the Lambda driver. I have heard many stories about you and your AS," Bear said with respect in his eyes.

Sousuke thought for a moment, unsure of how to respond. "Um, thank you," he finally got out.

"Perhaps you can tell me more about your AS, and I can see whether or not the stories are true," Bear grinned at him.

"Perhaps. What is your clearance?" Sousuke asked.

Kaname groaned and shifted her bag to her other shoulder.

"See? What did I tell you?" she muttered to Bear, who tipped back his head and let out his deep, honeyed laughter. Kaname kept muttering as she stopped to relace her boot. Sousuke made a mental note to remind her to wear thick socks. Mithril's standard-issue boots took at least two weeks to break in, and they rubbed nasty blisters into the Achilles tendon until then.

"What did she say?" Sousuke asked Bear in a low voice.

Bear looked perplexed.

"About me," Sousuke prompted him.

"She said that you are very skilled and very serious," Bear answered honestly. "But tell me, young man, why is your friend here? She is not a soldier."

Bear met his steady gaze with eyes that looked kind. Sousuke noted small scars flecked the older man's weather-worn visage. The odd bend to the fingers on his left hand and the slight drag of a limp in his right leg suggested that the Senegalian warrior's grandfatherly wisdom came hard-won in years of violence.

Kaname rejoined them before Sousuke could articulate an answer, and the group arrived at their destination.

The building itself reminded Sousuke of every other Mithril barrack. It was little more than a rectangular box with a few high windows to let in the daylight. Like most of the other buildings on the island, stilts suspended the floorboards a solid meter above the ground to accommodate the flooding that the occasional sea storm pushed inland. Built-in bunk beds with thin mattresses lined the longer walls, and doorway at the far end opened into a bathroom with all the usual bathroom fixtures lined up in sets of three.

Sousuke spotted an unclaimed bunk near the door and tossed his bag on it. Each sleeping station came with three cubbyholes for personal belongings, which was more than enough for his minimal supply of things. He pulled one of the trunks out from under his bed and began inspect its structural integrity. Provided it looked sound and relatively dry, it would make a perfect place to stash his personal firearms and weaponry.

Out of habit, he glanced up to check on Kaname and found her standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips and eyes wide.

"No way," Kaname declared.

For a panicked moment, Sousuke thought the Whispers had taken her under, but then he noticed her eye twitching. Sousuke knew what that tiny spasm meant, but as always, he had no idea why Kaname was ten seconds away from violence. He braced himself for the blow that was sure to fall on his head.

"How do they expect me to stay here?" Kaname yelled. Everyone in the barrack turned to look at the fuming teenager.

"Kaname, I assure you that this is a standard living quarters for noncommissioned Mithril personnel," Sousuke tried to calm her.

"Sorry it's not up to your standards, princess," the Greek snickered.

Kaname shook her head and squeezed her eyes closed. "No! I'm not going to do it!"

Bear raised an eyebrow at Sousuke, but the young sergeant could only shrug. He had no idea what had Kaname so upset.

"I don't understand the problem," Castillo broke in to speak the words that everyone was thinking. "It looks totally normal to me."

"It's not the building. It's you guys," came a voice from the back of the room. Del stood up, crossed her arms, and cocked her head to one side. "Get over it, little girl."

Kaname looked like she might explode with indignation. "I'm not changing in a room full of guys! It's not right!"

Sousuke looked around the room and realized that Kaname had a point. The large, open room was as private as a locker room. Even the showers stalls lacked curtains.

"If you want to play with big boys, you gotta get over yourself, _honey_," Del sneered. "A soldier is a soldier."

"Yeah, but even in Mithril, we don't do co-ed living quarters for the long-term," Dibs countered. He looked at the floor as he ran a hand through his shaggy, red hair. "I mean, we've all done it in the field and maybe for a night or two when we blow through an HQ, but..." He trailed off as his face flushed.

"Dibs, you always were a wuss," Del groaned.

Dibs leaned into a bed rail and raised his chin to her challenge. "If you're such a soldier, how about getting naked right now? You can give Cricket his first lesson in female anatomy."

"I already know about a woman's body," Cricket huffed, but the maniacal glint in his wide eyes undermined the display of indifference.

"I don't have a problem with it. I can keep my eyes to myself," the Greek said with a yawn. He swung his bag onto a upper bunk near the bathroom and climbed up after it.

"Can you? I heard what you said about Kaname's body," Sousuke stated.

The Greek glared at him. "So? What's it to you?"

"My friends," began Bear with a knowing look, "can we not agree that the situation is unusual, even for Mithril?"

"Yeah, this reeks of another one of Auntie's games," Castillo spat out.

As if on cue, someone knocked at the door, which Kaname turned to open.

"Hey guys, I forgot to set these up earlier," said a young woman in basic fatigues. She smiled sheepishly as she lugged in several yards of fabric and a ladder.

"May I help you?" offered Bear.

"Um, sure," she said distractedly. Maneuvering the ladder through a full room of people and unpacked gear offered her quite a challenge. "The shower curtains are outside."

The group went back to setting up their bunks, but the uncomfortable silence bespoke their tensions. The woman seemed unfazed as she curtained off the four corners of the room with the thick, earth-colored draping. Sousuke eyed Kaname for signs of her temper, but she caught him looking and found the smallest of smiles. It was far from ideal, but the make-shift changing spaces did much to ameliorate the largest problem.

When Bear returned from the washroom, he took a seat on his lower bunk near the middle of the room and put on hand on each knee.

"I am more comfortable with the situation now," he stated. He looked to Del and then to Kaname. Both women met his gaze in full, and the issue reached resolution in that moment.

The curtain woman thanked Bear for the help before taking her leave, but after a moment, she popped her head back inside.

"There's something out here for you guys," she giggled. "Man, I wish I was your unit tonight. Take care."

With a wave, she departed, and Castillo followed her out. His laughter drew the rest of candidates out into the twilight. They found the Spaniard using his army knife to pop the lid off a Mexican beer. The rest of the case rested at his feet. Dibs made a grab at another bottle, but Castillo planted his boot over the top of the box. He polished off half the bottle before clearing his throat and reading from a slip of paper.

"Please enjoy your first night with MCA. There's more around back," he said in a clear voice before switching to a silly falsetto. "Love, Your Auntie."

Dibs let out a whoop and sprinted around the building with Del, the Greek, and two others close behind. Castillo chuckled and started to pass out the brews. Sousuke accepted one. He never drank, but Kurz and Melissa gave him such a hard time for ordering juice at the bar that he developed the habit of keeping one alcoholic beverage in front of him to keep their snide comments at bay. Kaname made a face after she sipped hers, but she seemed to understand that it was better to hold onto one for same reasons. She carried it out back with her. Cricket tried to chug his, but Bear interceded by clapping the kid on the back.

"Easy there," Bear warned him with a grin. "Our Auntie is a tricky one. Do you want to be sick tomorrow when she starts her games again?"

"C'mon back!" someone hollered, so Sousuke and rest of the stragglers tromped to the back of the barrack.

Someone had tented up some wood and started a decent bonfire in a stone-rimmed basin of dirt. Split logs formed a rugged circle of benches, and the group gathered around the flames naturally. Sousuke felt relieved when Kaname took a seat next to him.

The man with glasses, who Sousuke remembered was named Nathan, told a funny story about how his unit once tricked a new recruit asking the mechanic to replace the headlight fluid in their Hummer, and soon nearly everyone was spinning yards, trying to outdo each other with outrageous tales of practical jokes, battle mishaps, and bizarre commanders.

Some of them drank quite a bit while others, like Bear, seemed to nurse one bottle all night. At any rate, Sousuke was pleased to note that no one got wasted. The shadow of tomorrow's tests kept them from getting out of control.

As the stars spun lazily above them, the stories became more serious and more personal. Bear called out Sousuke as the pilot of the only Lambda driver-equipped AS in Mithril, and so he politely answered as many questions as he felt able. When Kaname chimed in to flesh out some of the more technical details, the Greek spoke up.

"Excuse me, Miss Kaname," he said with a slight bow. "I wanted to apologize. I did say some things that were not very polite about you earlier. I am sorry. You are very beautiful."

Kaname blushed hard. "It's fine," she stammered.

"Thank you. At the risk of being rude again, my friends and I were curious. Are you one of the Whispered?"

Kaname bit her lip and frowned.

"Leave me out of this, Aristo," said the blonde guy to his friend. He held up his hands when he turned to Kaname. "Pardon him. We were just talking. You don't have to answer that."

"But it's obvious that she's not a soldier," Dibs observed.

"Kaname helped bring down the Behemoth," Cricket hiccuped. He took another swing of beer before Bear reached over and commandeered the bottle.

"Whoa! Is that true?" Dibs gaped.

"Yes," Sousuke confirmed. He gave Cricket a hard look, but the youth's eyes looked out of focus. "How did you know that?"

"I know lots of things," Cricket responded with a smirk. He hiccuped again.

"Are you a Whispered then? And a civilian?" Del asked Kaname pointedly.

The blue-haired girl scuffed her feet in the dirt beneath her bench before responding. "Okay, you got me. Until two weeks ago, I was pretty much your average Japanese high school kid with visions of Black Technology," she tried to joke.

"I could have told you that," Cricket laughed, and the noise seemed too loud in the middle of the shocked silence.

Kaname attempted to flash a winning grin but failed. Everyone seemed to be looking at her with a mixture of suspicion and disbelief, and Sousuke wanted to clock the lot of them. Instead he found himself on his feet.

"I think it's best if we called it a night," he declared.

Bear nodded, and the group broke up for bed on that sour note.

As he pulled the crisp sheets over him, Sousuke closed his eyes and regretted that he had, once again, said the wrong thing. He might have pointed out that Kaname had saved him on more than one occasion. He might have cited Tessa as proof of the uncanny abilities of the Whispered. He could have changed the topic, but instead, he ended the conversation. He looked to Kaname, but she had turned her face to the wall. Maybe she was ignoring him. Maybe she was angry. He couldn't tell. He could never tell with her.

Sousuke rolled over on his back, closed his eyes, and hoped for six hours of dreamless sleep.

He got three.


	9. Test

The barrack filled with a communal groan when Auntie flipped on the overhead lights and cheerfully announced, "You have five minutes to meet me outside. Please dress for strenuous physical activity."

Kaname blinked a few times before she recognized her surroundings. She grabbed her watch to confirm what her body what was already telling her. It was 2:30 in the morning, only a brief three and a half hours since she had climbed under the sheets. If she had been even half-way awake, she would have complained. Instead, she mindlessly gathered the necessary clothes before picking a way down to the floor from her top bunk. Even only partly conscious as she was, Kaname could tell they were all in trouble. Getting fifteen people from dead asleep to fully dressed and ready in five minutes while still maintaining a modicum of decency wasn't easy. Kaname couldn't tell which privacy areas were occupied without opening the curtains because the draping dragged on the floor, so she was grateful when Del stuck out her head from one in the far corner.

"Kaname! You're with me," Del hollered.

Kaname ducked inside, and the two women dressed quickly.

"Don't come out for a minute!" Dibs called to them.

"What?!" Del squaked.

"Seriously, Del! Sixty seconds!" Dibs retorted.

"By then you guys better have cleared out of the bathroom!" Del shouted back. Despite her red-rimmed eyes, she looked twice as alert as Kaname felt.

"I'm not a morning person," Kaname groused to herself.

"Who is?" Del checked her watch, cursed, and pulled her hair into a high, tight ponytail. She winked at Kaname, who struggled to coerce all of her long hair into a single hair tie. "Hey, kick some tail out there today. We can't let the guys get all the glory."

Despite her sleepiness, Kaname registered the seriousness hidden in Del's jokes. Between Tessa and Melissa, Kaname took for granted the diversity of Mithril's officers. At the base, however, she could see the overwhelming male to female ratio clearly. Del's terse words the night before seemed less rude to Kaname now.

"Clear!" yelled Dibs.

Kaname and Del made a mad scramble for the bathroom and then met everyone outside with just seconds to spare.

"Nice," Auntie commented as she reset her stop clock. She had replaced her dress uniform with the fatigues and boots of a drill sergeant, but the perfect French twist in her hair and immaculate make-up bespoke her true ranking. She glanced at her clipboard.

"Mr. Castillo," she called.

He took a step forward, and Kaname admired that. "Ma'am."

"I see that you have spent the most time at base in the past six months. Do you know the 10K running route?" Auntie inquired.

"Yes, ma'am," Castillo barked.

"Please lead the group and rendezvous with me at Building D in 55 minutes. Happy trails." Auntie turned to walk away, and the black night seemed to swallow her whole. Kaname blinked and stared her shoes to make sure that her eyes were still working correctly.

"Let's move!" Castillo cried out, and the groggy group took off on the darkened trail into the underbrush.

The haze of a half-night of sleep blotted out the first two miles of the run, but Kaname came to her senses in full when the a whip-like branch snapped against her bare shins at the start of mile three. Looking around, she took a quick survey of the progress of the group. She had fallen into step with the main body of the group, some of whom (notably Sousuke and Bear) were clearly capable of a faster pace but were going slower to conserve energy. Only Catch's spiky blonde head bobbed along just ahead of them.

"Damn him and his long legs," grumbled Aristo, whose ponytail was already dripping with sweat. "Quit making me look bad in front of the girls!"

"Oh yeah, because us girls love fast guys," Del sniped.

Some of harder drinkers of the crew, including Dibs, lagged just behind the main crowd. That left Cricket, who looked like he spent more time on a laptop than a treadmill, gasping and sputtering in the rear.

"Keep it up! You don't want to get wiped on the first drill!" Dibs yelled back at the poor kid. Cricket managed a small wave, but Kaname noticed that it took longer and longer for the boy to come into view as they snaked through the twisting trail. By the time they arrived at the squat, concrete building with a capital letter 'D' stenciled on the side, Cricket was far behind and having trouble running in a straight line.

Auntie consulted her stopwatch. "He has less than thirty seconds," she observed. She flipped through the stack of paper on her clipboard, pulled what appeared to be Cricket's file, and scribbled a note at the top. "Such a shame to lose one so early."

"He still has time," Bear implored.

"Yeah, don't write him off yet," Dibs chimed in.

Kaname saw heads around her nod in agreement.

Auntie looked up and blinked. "But you all left him behind, did you not? I assumed that you all had already arrived at the same conclusion," she returned.

"Like hell," Del scoffed under her breath. She cupped her hands and yelled, "C'mon, kid! You can do it!"

Cricket stumbled a little but picked up his pace nonetheless.

"Would you look at that? It worked," Del mused, and then, they were all shouting words of encouragement and waving like crazed sports fans. Cricket stumbled and fought for each step, but he did not give up. His exhaustion gave way to determination, and he found a final burst of strength to sprint the last few yards. Castillo started a countdown, and when Cricket tumbled across a make-shift finish line made by Aristo and Dibs at the same time the Spaniard yelled "One!", everyone whooped in celebration. Poor Cricket collapsed on the ground and rolled over on his back while his bird-like ribcage fluttered.

Auntie let them have the moment, and her smile seemed genuine for once.

"Good," she noted and reshuffled Cricket's file into her stack. "Now, please follow me inside before you awaken the entire island."

The nutty scent of coffee greeted Kaname as she entered the heavily air-conditioned bunker, and she recognized the young woman who had hung the curtains passing out steaming mugs and bottles of chilled water.

"I should have known you were working for the enemy," Nathan lamented as he accepted a mug from her.

"Now, now," the woman scolded, tossing her auburn hair over one shoulder. "Auntie has her ways, and if you don't like them, you can give back the coffee."

"Not a chance." Nathan pushed his glasses up and grinned.

Kaname took her portion and followed as Auntie lead them into a large room with twenty or more workstations. Kaname thought they were tables at first, but then Auntie hit a switch and a number of them lit up like computers.

"Touch-screen tables. Fancy," remarked Dibs.

"I'm impressed that you can make smart remarks so early, Mr. O'Donnell," Auntie spoke up. "Please find your names at the stations and greet your new partners."

The day before, Kaname had only thought about her first five choices on her partner request list. With such a small group, she didn't bother to put much thought into the rest of her list; it was more than likely she would get one of her top five. When she found her place next to the blonde Catch, she had to feign indifference. He definitely hadn't been one of her choices.

"Hey," he said with a quick jerk of his head. He didn't look particularly pleased to be paired with her either, but then again, it was only 3:30 in the morning. Kaname doubted that she looked anything but tired and sweaty.

She didn't have time to respond before Auntie began to explain the assignment.

Once, when she was much younger, the school counselors had Kaname take an IQ test. Her exception skills at math and science lead her teachers to suspect that she was gifted, and the school wanted to probe he depth of her talents. Her parents agreed readily to the battery of testing, and for a long afternoon, Kaname sat through test after test. The tasks varied from defining four-syllable words to memorizing strings of integers to tracking patterns in colored cards. Everything was timed, and she ended each section certain that she had failed. In the end, the results showed that she was, indeed, very bright albeit not unusually so, and Kaname had been shocked. She was so sure that she had failed that it didn't occur to her until much later than the tests were impossibly difficult. There were always too many questions to cover in the time limit and always another, more difficult challenge at the ready.

Auntie's tasks reminded Kaname of that IQ test.

In the early morning, they worked in pairs to position a given number of troops and equipment types on a digital topographical map to maximize success against impossible odds. No battle was meant to be "won"; they were never asked to defeat the enemy. Instead, they had to fulfill certain mission objectives: cause the greatest amount of damage to the enemy, escape with minimal casualties, destroy a certain target. As the hours wore on, the objectives multiplied and their respective rankings factored into the placement strategy. Hit the target _and_ try to minimize damage to equipment. Retreat _and_ try to take down as many enemies as possible. Kaname made a mental note to thank Kurz for all the weapons training because she recognized a great number of the tanks, airplanes, helicopters, and AS units used in the simulations. Tessa's brief lessons on mass troop dispersion also came in handy.

Her true gratitude, however, belonged to Catch. Auntie never left enough time for much discussion or strategizing. The objectives would flash across the table-top screens, followed by a glimpse of the bank of resources, and then the landscape would appear. They fell into a pattern of letting Kaname take the first stab at assigning the positions, and Catch would do the adjustments. More than once, Kaname heard him hiss disapproval, and he would race to reposition the forces to correct her errors before time expired.

Other groups worked in tandem, with each partner placing all the resources on their sides of the screen. Kaname noted that Sousuke and Aristo moved positioned pieces one at a time, as if they were taking turns in a chess game.

After each scenario, Auntie would pause to set the minimum required score, run the simulation, and dissect the results from the strongest and weakest teams. Although their score never fell below the minimum requirement, Kaname and Catch submitted the weakest battle plan more than any other group.

By breakfast, Kaname's head was swimming with new strategies and shame. Catch promptly ditched her to eat with Nathan and Aristo, and she could overhear snatches of his complaints about his inexperienced partner. Sousuke was pulled into a debate about desert landscapes with Dibs and Del, and for the first time since she was twelve, Kaname sat alone in the cafeteria. She ate slowly and tasted nothing.

After breakfast, the candidates reassembled in Building D, and Kaname helped herself to another mug of coffee. The sun had been up for less than an hour, but they had been awake and pushing their limits for over six hours.

"I am pleased that all of you have endured so far," Auntie welcomed them. "We will run only one more challenge before you are dismissed for the day."

Catch raised his hand, and Auntie acknowledged him with a nod. He stood and cleared his throat.

"Ma'am, can we expect to maintain our partners for the duration of the testing?" he asked. He cast a sideways glance at Kaname, and Aristo snickered. Kaname stared at her hands as the rush of anger and embarrassment flooded her weary mind.

Auntie closed her instructor's laptop and folded her hands over it. "There's no need to be subtle. You don't want to work with Ms. Chidori because of her underwhelming performance this morning," she droned.

Catch did not hesitate. "Yes."

"Your partnerships will shift daily, and under normal conditions, you will not be allowed to switch partners in the course of a single day. However, this group is uneven in number. Mr. Castillo has been working alone today. If you both agree, I will allow a substitution."

"I would prefer to continue working by myself," Castillo spoke up. His voice softened. "Sorry, Kaname."

Auntie reopened her laptop and typed in a few keystrokes. "I believe that settles the matter," she said after a moment.

Catch set his jaw and sat back down. Kaname could have slugged him, but the screens flashed on.

The instructions were vague: "SELECT THE BEST TARGET."

"What the hell..." muttered Cash as an image of an AS appeared on the screen with ten seconds counting down on the timer. He frowned, then reached out and circled the wasp-ish waist. Kaname shook her head, wiped her hand across the screen to undo his mark, tapped the screen to flip the view to the back of the unit, and circle the cooling unit as the last second drained from the clock. Cash glared at her.

Auntie punched a key, and their results flashed on the projection screen. Sousuke and Aristo had the highest score followed by Cricket and Nathan, then Kaname and Cash. Everyone else had scored no points.

Auntie cocked an eyebrow at the group. "So few? Well, perhaps I was expecting too much."

She clicked a few buttons and pulled up the AS. The computer circled the cooling unit as Auntie began her explanation. "You may have heard of this unit, nicknamed Venom. As you may surmise from this little exercise, this particular AS is prone to over-heating. Let's all hope you fair better on the next round."

For the next forty minutes, Cash let Kaname select the most vulnerable parts of each piece of heavy equipment. She knew from experience about the Arbalest model, the M-9, the Savage, and Behemoth. The others came to her like bursts of inspirations. She didn't always recognize the piece, but she _knew_ how to bring it down. By the end, she and Cash had the highest score in the class, overtaking Cricket and Nathan in the last round.

When the final scores came up, Cricket slammed down his fists on the table screen and jumped to his feet in indignation.

"That's not fair!" he cried. "That last AS doesn't exist."

Auntie did not look up from her work. "Yes and no. It is in pre-production as we speak."

"But how are we supposed to know how to defeat equipment that no one has ever seen before? There is no data available on it! Kaname only got it because she's a Whispered!" Cricket continued, literally shaking with rage.

Auntie steadfastly ignored his outcry. "You are dismissed," she ordered the group.

"Damn it!" Cricket shouted and stomped out of the room.

Auntie didn't look up from her work, but something softened in her expression.

"Mr. Castillo, I hope that you are not too discouraged. Perhaps you can reapply next year."

The candidates, Kaname included, did a double take to the scoreboard. Sure enough, Castillo's number at the bottom of the screen had dropped below the red line that marked the minimum required score. The Spaniard was graceful in defeat. He stood up and bowed slightly.

"Thank you, ma'am. I will keep that in mind," he said in an even voice. He took his leave quietly. The rest of the group, still in shock, drifted out after him.

"Oh man," Kaname heard Catch mumble as he stood up. "That poor bastard."

Kaname took her time gathering her notes and coffee mugs as the others filed out, and when she looked up, she realized that Auntie was watching her and that they were alone.

"Are you experiencing any headaches?" Auntie asked with a blank face.

"No, ma'am. I feel much better after getting off the sub," Kaname answered.

"Good," the older woman replied and shut down her computer with a tired sigh. She pushed her reading glasses up onto the crown of her head and rubbed her eyes. "I shouldn't have to tell you that if you have an incident during a test, I cannot make an exception for you."

"I know," Kaname acknowledged dully. She was so tired that she felt like crying, and it was only the first day. Auntie packed up her laptop and made her way to the door, but she paused to put a hand on Kaname's shoulder.

"Tell the others to report back here at 800 hours tomorrow. This room will be open this afternoon and evening if anyone wants additional practice," the older woman said.

Auntie slung her bag over her shoulder and clicked the button that shut off the tabletop screens on her way out the door.

Kaname nodded, taking the hint. First, sleep. Second, food. Then, study. She pushed her shoulders back, standing up straighter. She could do this.

* * *

The sun had long since gone down when Kaname pushed back from the workstation and pouted.

"How does she expect anyone to be able to do this?" she whined.

"You are showing signs of improvement. Do not be discouraged," Sousuke comforted her. He leaned over her and circled a few points on the map. "You remembered the previous battle and did well to place you troops here and here." He pointed at her small, lightweight units on the two highest points on the map. "However, the position in the valley was a mistake. It is not indefensible in this scenario."

Kaname set her elbow on the edge of the workstation and rested her chin in her open palm. "Yeah, yeah. I lose again."

"But you are learning," Sousuke stated as he pulled up the next map.

Kaname learned that the simulations that gave her so much trouble with Cash were called 'Scapes, short for landscapes. Under Sousuke's tutelage, she focused on learning to read and plot attacks based on the battle ground, but none of it came easy to her. Earlier, she tried out a Staff, which required selecting the correct personnel to staff particular missions, and performed marginally better. She didn't want to tackle another 'Quip, which quizzed on battle equipments from hand guns to submarines, with the other candidates in the room. She felt too tired to test out a full simulation, creatively nicknamed a Sim, which drew from all the other types of challenges to simulate a complete mock battle against the AI or other candidates.

Castillo's sudden departure hit the group hard, so it did not surprise her that everyone turned out for Auntie's voluntary study session. The curtain-hanging woman, who finally identified herself (jokingly) as Tia, supervised the workstations and would set up any one of the five study categories upon request, but the others seemed content to duke it out over round after round of full Sims. Other than herself and Sousuke, only Cricket (who was sulking in a corner) did not participate in the noisy mock battles.

A loud whoop went up from the others as Bear once again trounced Aristo. Kaname sighed.

"Ready?" Sousuke asked, and she reluctantly refocused on her map.

"Not really," she grimaced. It was yet another mountainous challenge, her weakest and, subsequently, least favorite kind of map.

"Try," Sousuke urged her.

She stifled a yawn and started to place her troops.

"You can go play with the others, if you want," she remarked as she considered the defensibility of a particular cliff. "I can fail all by myself."

"You always helped me at school," Sousuke said by way of an answer. She didn't have the heart to tell him that she was never so nice to him back at Jindai High. The computer calculated her submission and flashed up another mediocre score.

Sousuke touched her shoulder. "Better," he declared.

Suddenly, the screens went dark in unison to a chorus of complaints, and they all looked up to see Tia leaning on the open door.

"Pack it up, campers. Play time is over," she chirped.

The rest of the night passed much like the previous one. They trudged back to the barracks, but quickly grew bored. The group gathered once again to laugh, joke, and tell stories at the campfire until everyone was tired enough to go back to sleep.

Auntie has left them another treat, s'mores this time, but Kaname didn't have an appetite for the sweet treats. She watched and listened and said next to nothing. Her behavior was so atypical that Sousuke kept looking at her with confusion. To his credit, he stayed by her side, even though she was terrible company. She wished that she could call Kyouko and talk it out, but thinking about Tokyo did nothing to raise her spirits. Even the stars were a harsh reminder of how far away she was from her former life. In the Southern Hemisphere, the very constellations are different.

The next day, Auntie made them run the agility course, which Cricket barely survived, before she put them through the paces in Building D with another set of 'Scapes, followed by a Staff. Kaname was paired with Guatemalan named Cielo who was so quiet that he made Sousuke look like a chatterbox. Despite her wounded pride from the previous day, the pair did well enough on the teamed tasks. They never submitted the best scenarios, but they only came in last once.

Cielo took the lead on the 'Scapes with Kaname doing only minor adjustments. The tutoring with Sousuke paid off as most of the maps involved mountain regions. During the Staffs, Kaname whispered her recommendations based on a quick scan of each person's dossier, and Cielo, who seemed to be having some trouble, only tweaked her choices. She realized midway through that he was struggling to read the candidate descriptions, which were in written in English, in the time allotment.

Just before lunch, Auntie broke up the teams to run an individual, more detailed Staff, and Kaname felt terrible when Cielo's final score dipped below the red line. He accepted defeat with a shrug and a smile. By the time they returned to the barracks for a brief break after lunch, his bunk was cleared.

In the afternoon, they ran the first full Sim, and due in equal parts to luck and Melissa's tips on multi-AS battles, Kaname scored in the top three. Catch cursed loudly when he realized that he had mistaken an M-6 for an M-9 and flubbed the objectives. He stalked out of the classroom, cussing in way that could make a drill sergeant blush, before the final scores came out, and Auntie marked his passing with a brief glance up from her laptop screen.

During evening study session, Kaname worked up enough nerve to participate in the full Sim tournament, and although she was roundly beaten by both Del and a sweet-tempered Vietnamese guy named Nyugen, she could see trackable progress in her ever-increasing scores. It felt good to laugh with the others, even though Aristo eyed her with suspicion and Cricket outright glared at her for the entire night.

Although all the candidates had their moments for good and bad, it was clear that Bear ran the best full Sim. He ruthlessly clobbered every opponent and had the confidence to let loose his deep, rich laughter whenever someone tried a particularly creative move to defeat him. Around the campfire that night, the group joked about the Senagalian's past, even going as far as to speculate that he'd been a pirate, while the man in question grinned and said nothing to counter their wild theories.

The third day passed pleasantly at the Leadership Training Course. Tia explained each of the odd and difficult challenges constructed under a canopy of trees on the north side of the island, and the group had to complete all of them before sundown or face mass elimination. Auntie observed and took extensive notes on her omnipresent clipboard. Even though she was second in stature only to Cricket, Kaname excelled at overcoming the physical obstacles and even lead the group through two of the most difficult ones.

"She's a wonder," Bear had remarked to Sousuke, and even Aristo nodded in agreement.

Kaname went to sleep smiling for the first time since she arrived in the island, but her confidence came crashing down when Auntie woke them up to run a gauntlet of partial Sims at four in the morning. She got assigned to Cricket, who refused to communicate with her and wiped any moves she made from the board without considering their validity. They spend so much time quibbling that they ended up one point away from failing the task. Auntie called them both children and threatened to continue to partner them for the duration of the two-week trial period until they learned to work together.

The two candidates who were eliminated that brutal round started a fist-fight in the hallway outside of the classroom, and Kaname thought it odd. Nyugen always smiled, even in defeat during the practice sessions, and Erickson, a peaceable Swede who took grief from the others for calling his mom every night, didn't strike her as the violent kind either. Sheer exhaustion pushed the thoughts from her head, but the ruckus cast a bad mood over the remaining ten candidates as they trudged back to the barracks.

They were only about hundred meters from the building when the sun started coming up. Del was leading the group, and out of the blue, Aristo let out a low wolf whistle while eyeing her posterior. Del, to her credit, pretended not to hear, but her back went rigid. Aristo chuckled at her reaction.

"You're walking a thin line," Dibs threatened.

"You gonna be her white knight? Put me in my place?" Aristo jeered. "You think maybe she'll get wet for you then?"

Dibs took a swing, and Aristo was more than ready. It took both Long, a swarthy Canadian, and Nathan to pry Dibs away while Sousuke restrained the fuming Greek.

"Get your hands off me!" Aristo seethed. He looked at Kaname's stricken expression and blew her a kiss. "You're making your girlfriend jealous."

Sousuke's face didn't change as the Greek grunted and sank to the ground, still doubled over from the force of Sousuke's punch to his gut.

Bear held up his hands and stepped between the two.

"Enough," he said calmly. "Sagara. Dibs. I advise you to walk away from this."

"Fine." Dibs shook himself free, stuffed his hands in his pockets, and headed for the 10K trail.

Sousuke went in the other direction, and before any one could stop her, Kaname took off after him.

"You didn't have to do that," she said when she finally caught up. The dead look in his eyes spooked her. When he turned his eyes to her, it felt like he was looking through her.

"Sousuke," she pleaded.

He didn't respond. Instead, he walked up to the nearest tree and slammed him fist into the trunk.

"Damn it," she heard him say. He drew back his fist again, and she made a grab for it. He went limp at her touch and dropped to his knees.

"Damn," he said again between ragged breaths.

Kaname knelt in front of him, but he refused to look at her. He head hung low, and she could see his lips moving, though no sound emerged. She poked him in the forehead.

"You're acting really weird, and it's starting to scare me. Start talking. Now," she ordered.

"The last Sim. It was Helmajistan," he got out. "It was Gauron."

"Oh," Kaname breathed. She had been too busy squabbling with Cricket to put it together, but suddenly it made sense. The two Lambda-driver equipped AS units. The topography. None of the candidates came out with any survivors in that Sim. She had assumed it was just an impossible scenario designed by Auntie in a sadistic mood.

But Sousuke had made it out of that terrible and very real battle alive. He didn't punch Aristo to defend her; the Greek had just tipped him over the edge. Less than four days into the program, and Sousuke was breaking down. Kaname closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and did the only thing that she could think to do. She punched Sousuke as hard as she could.

He took it without resistance, just let it happen, so she tried again. The second blow restored some of his sense.

"Kaname, I-" be gaped.

"Don't start with me, Sousuke Sagara!" Kaname roared. "You get one bad reminder of your past and you go all soft!"

She would have kicked him, but he rolled out of the way.

"I've been getting destroyed all week! DESTROYED! And do you see me giving up? No!" she shouted. She grabbed him by the collar and shook. "I'm not giving up, and you're not either!" she continued by knocking him to the ground with a wicked hip throw. "You're not quitting on me!"

"No, I'm not. You're right," Sousuke affirmed between gasping breaths. She dropped his wrist and let him sit up. The sun had come up in full, and the wind switched directions to bring in the tang of salty air. Despite the awful past few hours, it felt good to be outside, breathing in a new day with Sousuke.

Kaname smiled down at him and offered her hand.

"C'mon, let's go back," she said.

They found the others behind the barrack on the split log benches. The previous night's fire was nothing more than a pile of grey ash and charred wood.

"It seems our Auntie played a dirty trick on us," Bear said by way of a greeting. He made room on his bench for Kaname and Sousuke.

"Did she toss in your worst battle, too?" Del asked.

Sousuke nodded. "I lost my whole unit."

"Me, too. It was the jungle one," Dibs confessed.

"The desert for me," Nathan added.

"She put us together because neither of us have bad battle memories," Cricket said to Kaname. "She just knows that we don't get along."

"You mean that you hate my guts," Kaname contended.

Cricket grinned. "Something like that."

"So what do we do from here?" Kim asked. He didn't talk much, but the Korean's grim expression communicated that the night had been just as hard on him. Besides enduring Auntie's foul game, Kim had lost the closest thing he had to a friend in the group when Nyugen was ejected.

"We remember that this is a test and that it will get harder," Bear avowed. "We agree not to fight each other, and we agree not to let Auntie play games in our minds."

"Easier said than done," murmured Aristo.

"Think of it like this," Bear pondered. "Our Auntie's job is to make us into fine leaders. She has to test us in every way before the battles are real."

Although no one had said it aloud, Kaname knew that she had gotten off easy that time. Dealing with a temperamental thirteen-year-old is nothing compared to putting down the bloodied spectres of the past. When Tia came to collect them for another round in the late afternoon, Kaname set her jaw to prepare for the worst, and she got it.

Auntie made them run a three-hour long 'Quip without breaks. She set the minimum necessary score quite low, so it was more like an endurance test than a challenge of know-how.

For Kaname, it was her Helmajistan. Every piece of equipment that flashed up on the screens utilized Black Technology. Most of the pictures were schemas, not actual photos, and Cricket's pouting indicated that even he had not seen those machines before. Her theory was confirmed when Kaname recognized one black and white sketch as something that she had drawn on the TDD-1. The barrage of Black Technology had her head throbbing after the first fifteen minutes. She tried to trade turns with Kim, who possessed above average instincts when it came to experimental war toys, but as her headache intensified, Kaname took over more and more. Kim shot her a confused look when she took over his turn for the third time in a row, but he did not complain.

She gave him nothing to complain about. Every time she touched the screen, she found the right answer. Her head felt like it would burst, and she found herself willing the 'Quip to run faster. Each new piece seemed to release a little of the pressure building behind her eyes, but the pauses between the challenges dragged on and on as the hour hand circled the clock once, then twice.

It physically hurt to stay in the moment. The Whispers pulled at her consciousness. They nibbled on her resolve to complete the challenge, and she found herself gasping for breath as the third hour of testing began. Their dark promises lured her. _Rest_, they offered. _Release_.

She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from crying out, trembling from the exertion. Her hold on reality threatened to break with every passing moment, yet she found the strength to stay her self for another minute, then another.

And then, it was over.

Auntie was smiling at them. The other candidates breathed easy and exchanged high fives, and Kaname's world went dark.

She woke up on the floor with her head propped in Sousuke's hands. His thumb stroked her cheek, and it felt so nice that her eyes drifted closed again.

"Hold her up," Auntie's voice commanded.

Kaname felt herself rising off the floor, and when she opened her eyes, Auntie thrust a hot cup of coffee under her nose.

"Drink," the woman ordered.

Kaname took a few sips and felt her senses returning. The others had gathered around her, and she registered the relief on their faces.

"I'm fine," she mumbled. The words came out raspy and raked her raw throat. She realized that she must have been screaming again. She found Kim's face in the crowd.

"How did we do?" she asked.

The Korean reached out and touched her shoulder. "You did beautifully, my friend," he said.

"That was just about the freakiest thing I have ever seen," Dibs announced, and someone's laughter eased the tension in the room.

"Let's give her some space," Auntie said and waved the others out of the room. It went without saying that Sousuke could stay.

"Can you stand?" he asked in a voice low enough for Kaname alone. He didn't want to embarrass her any more than necessary in front of the others.

"If you help," she whispered back. He pulled her arm across his shoulders, slipped a steady hand around her waist, and pulled her to a standing position.

Auntie returned to her laptop and began packing up for the night.

"Please see that she gets rest, Mr. Sagara," was all she said about the incident.

They made slow progress back to the barracks. A cold wind picked up, and it felt good on Kaname's fevered skin. She made Sousuke let go, so that she could walk into the building on her own. Tia, who was on her way out, held the door for her.

"You did good in there," Tia winked. "Try not to feel too bad. You know Cricket's turn is next."

"I heard that!" Cricket yelped from inside.

Kaname couldn't help but feel accomplished.

Everyone took care to be extra kind to her that night. The wind and subsequent hard rain keep them indoors, but the night still had a campfire feel, especially when the electricity went out. They propped up some flashlights in the middle of the room to ward off the darkness and sat on the floor around puddle of light. Del sweetly kept Kaname supplied with the hot chocolate that Tia delivered. Aristo minded his manners, and Cricket was too busy being teased about what evil test of Auntie's invention awaited him that he scowled equally at all of them.

"I bet she makes us do a triathlon," guessed Dibs.

"Or fifty push-ups," Del giggled.

"Jerks," Cricket sniffed.

"Surely, you have some idea about what she might do to you," Bear mused. He looked over to Kaname, who was nestled between him and Sousuke. "Did you know?"

She shrugged. Sousuke had his arm around her for support, so his close proximity combined with her exhaustion made her feel light-headed.

"Auntie told me early on that she wouldn't make an exception for me if I had a thing with the Whispers. After what she did to all of you, I kind of knew that she would pull something like this," she answered.

"Well, I can't think of anything that Auntie could use against me," Cricket bragged.

"Yeah, 'cause you're so perfect," grumbled Nathan.

"She'll find a way," Aristo added.

"I believe that she will," Kim chimed in. "It is foolish to think that this is the worst of it."

"So what are we gonna do about it?" Dibs shrugged.

Kim tipped his head to one side. "I plan to quit. Tomorrow. I should like my ghosts to stay buried."

They tried to talk him out of it, but Kim politely refused. After they doused the lights, Kaname lay on her bunk thinking on all the terrible things Auntie could make her do, and while her personal list was terrifying, she could only guess at the horrors the other candidates might have to fear. Perhaps Kim was right to save his sanity and leave before the Auntie's game cut too deeply. She wondered if the others found sleep as elusive as she did.

True to his words, Kim left the next morning, and Kaname couldn't help but think that he got out just in time. The tests because even more difficult, which Kaname hadn't thought was possible. Time lost meaning as they drilled, ate, and sleep at infrequent, punishing intervals.

Much to everyone's surprise, Cricket endured the demanding physical drills, and the group survived for the next few days without losing a member. On the tenth day, however, both Cricket and the Canadian washed out on the first campaign Sim. The primary objective was securing a target with the secondary goal of minimizing loss of men and gear. Cricket went all out on the first, and when he found out that they had to run the next battle with only the remaining men, he pitched a fit and wiped out. Long, the aloof Canadian, made a silly error, probably due sleep deprivation. He took the time to shake hands with everyone before taking his leave.

To break up the monotony of the drills, Nathan sweet-talked Tia into joining them at firelight that evening, and Aristo smuggled over a bottle of whisky from the base cantina. Then, they got the poor woman more than a little tipsy and peppered her with questions. Even in her inebriated state, Tia refused to address any queries about the program, but she had some choice words about Cricket.

"Damn brat," she seethed between gulps of liquor. "The intelligence division made us take him."

"He blackmail someone?" Dibs asked.

Tia laughed bitterly. "Probably. He showed me a picture of my mom's house out in Guam, like it was supposed to spook me or something."

"He could have made a decent leader," Bear commented.

"Yeah, but did you see his causality score? That kid had no respect for human life!" Tia snorted.

"What's my causality score?" Aristo dared to ask.

After that, Tia clammed up, and Nathan volunteered to take back to her quarters. Del insisted on tagging along to make sure he didn't try to take advantage of her, but Aristo distracted her with a drawn-out apology to cover his friend's get-away.

Auntie let them sleep a full four hours before the next round of tests. Nathan hadn't slipped into the barrack until after everyone else was asleep, so Kaname assumed that sleep deprivation was the reason that he failed Auntie's newest game, a combination land and sea Sim, in an embarrassingly bad way. When his name appeared well below the read line, however, he suprised her by standing up and cheering. Kaname thought he'd finally snapped and felt bad for the guy, but Nathan shocked them all by dashing over to Tia, who had been observing from the back of the room, and dropping to one knee.

"Marry me," he said in total seriousness.

"I- I c-can't fraternize with the candidates," Tia stammered.

"I just dropped out," Nathan explained.

"We haven't even gone on a date," she returned.

"I'll come by and pick you up tonight."

"No," Tia insisted.

"It's not everyday that a guy blows his chance at a major promotion to ask a girl out. You can at least have a drink with me," he argued.

Tia's eyes went wide. "You blew the Sim to date me? That's so...so..."

"I'll be by to pick you up after dinner," Nathan jumped in. He stood up and sauntered out the door before she could dissuade him. Auntie raised an eyebrow at her flustered assistant, and Tia fled the scene amid the giggles of the remaining candidates.

"Well, you don't see that every day," Auntie sighed. "Nine and one assistant down, six to go. Now where were we?"


	10. Campfire

The last six candidates tried to laugh around firelight that night, but the empty places on the benches made their jokes and jibes fall flat. None of them knew when Auntie might call them into another round of testing. They could have as little as thirty minutes or as much as seven hours, but the certainty that she would come for them was both troublesome and comforting. Logically, they should all use the time to rest up, but instead, everyone elected to spend time together in the bright, moon-lit night. Even if the others had opted for their bunks, Kaname would have sat by the fire alone. Since Cielo had left, she played the Sims in her dreams.

"I have been thinking about how Auntie might get the better of me," Bear started the conversion. The whites of his eyes and teeth seemed to glow in contrast to his dark skin.

"Me, too," Dibs said with a shudder. His freckles danced in the firelight, but his eyes never wavered from the flames. "I keep thinking that she'll make me send people I know into suicide missions."

"Yeah, but even if she does, it's just a Sim," reasoned Del. She gathered her knees to her chest and rested her sharp chin on her crossed arms as if to comfort herself. "It's all make-believe."

"She got all of us with make-believe before. She could do it again," Aristo reflected. He undid his ponytail and ran his hands through his dark hair. "I'm so tired that it all feels a little too real."

"Ugh, I don't even want to think about it," Kaname groaned, but her weariness made her lie unconvincing, even to her own ears.

Sousuke tossed a handful of dried leaves into the flames, and the breeze lifted the burning fragments up like a flock of fireflies. "But anticipating the enemy's next move helps you counter it," he said evenly. "It's best to be prepared."

A figure stepped into the circle of firelight. The shadows covered her face, but the clipboard was a dead giveaway.

"So the key to success is _preparation_," Auntie drawled. "That's an interesting theory."

She looked from face to face around the circle of candidates as if challenging someone to counter her. Kaname did her best to set her features into a mask of indifference when Auntie's eyes swept across her. No one took the bait, and Auntie jotted down a note before walking away.

Del was the first on her feet to follow.

Auntie lead them across the island. They passed rows of darkened barracks and the silent mess hall. They walked right by Building D. No one was foolhardy enough to comment on the departure from their routine, but Kaname shared a nervous look with Dibs, who looked awfully pale given his ruddy complexion. Any surprise from Auntie couldn't be good.

Most of the denizens of Mithril's island base were sleeping, but Kaname noted a bowl of light above the tree-line ahead of them. Every few minutes, a helicopter would snap into focus after dropping its cloak and descend into the light accompanied by the oddly silenced whirl that Kaname recognized from her many rides in Mithril transports. The din of voices and rumble of engines grew in volume as they pushed through the undergrowth towards the light. By the time the broke into the clearing, the sound was deafening and the scene mayhem.

The helicopters swooped down to deposit wounded soldiers by the dozens. Medics and orderlies scrambled to organize the new arrivals into the triage system. The least wounded were being treated by a few medics, who were working to stem bleeding, check for head trauma, and administer pain killers. The second group received the most attention, and their pained cries carried over the din like the high note of a siren. The third group had only one assigned medic, who moved stiffly among the near-dead. Kaname watched her hesitate over a torn body, check vitals, and then signal for an orderly to haul away the corpse to join the ever-growing line of body bags on the far edge of the woods. Kaname had to tear her eyes away from where the pooled blood left his form outlined on the concrete.

Every light in the hospital to their right blazed, and from the number of wounded being treated right on the tarmac, it was obvious that the rooms inside could not accommodate the rush of the injured. To their left, a woman in blood-soaked fatigues engaged one of the pilots in a shouting match.

"Tell them to divert to a secondary location! We don't have the capacity to handle this kind of volume here!" she raged.

"And let these people die in the air?" the pilot yelled back.

"It's better to die on the ground?" she retorted. She swept a hand to the heart-rending, near-silent third group of wounded.

"So stop yelling at me and save them!" he shouted. The woman threw up her hands and stalked away to find someone else to hear her case. The pilot pulled off his flight helmet and ran a hand through his sweat-soaked hair. He knelt down and put a shaking hand on the head of a dead soldier. He turned his face away to the trees, and Kaname saw his shoulders jerk with a sob.

"Oh, god," she whispered.

Auntie turned around and surveyed her students.

"Who would like to tell these men that they should have been more prepared?" she inquired.

After making them watch the bloody aftermath of battle for another fifteen minutes, Auntie brought them back to Building D to run more Sims. As usual, they could drink as much coffee as they wanted, but the brew tasted bitter to Kaname. Perhaps it was the absence of Tia's sweet smile that made it so harsh. Kaname tossed it back anyway for the caffeine punch before she settled into her workstation. Since Nathan's departure, Auntie had stopped assigning partners. They each ran their own boards, so Kaname could not depend on a veteran soldier's help to guide her anymore.

"Expect changes," Auntie warned before the first Sim began, but the first board looked the same to Kaname. She took too long studying it, looking for the trick, and then had to race at the end to place the last of her forces. Right before she could hit the submit button, the screen glitched.

"Shit!" Dibs exclaimed at the same moment Kaname realized how utterly she was screwed.

The enemy's equipment had changed. Two AS units now showed as Lambda-driver equipped, and the tanks had upgraded as well. They had a full minute to readjust, but the enemy forces were already on the move. In other words, the battle had begun before they were ready.

Kaname's slow start turned out to be an advantage. She hadn't locked in her first plan prior to the change, but the others had to recall their orders before altering their strategy. In the end, they all got in passable plans but just barely.

The anger in the room was tangible, but Auntie stared them down.

"Last minute changes in intelligence. Incorrect preliminary data. Discrepancies between re-con reports and first responders on the ground. How can you prepare for faulty information?" she asked.

The candidates wisely didn't speak, but Sousuke's eyes went dead when Auntie's glare lingered on his face. Kaname didn't miss the flex of his jaw when everyone else had turned their attention back to the screens. Sousuke might be angry, but he hadn't broken despite Auntie's provocations.

The false dream of preparation was their hard lesson for the day.

In the next Sim, the scope of the view onscreen panned out to reveal additional enemy troops midway through the planning, so the battle had two offensive lines instead of the original one.

In the third, their own equipment failed to hit the chosen drop points, as if a strong wind had blown them all off-course, and the timer allowed only thirty seconds to cobble together a plan B.

In the fourth, the enemy started advancing from the first second of play, and they all wasted too much time waiting for a battle-changing glitch that never came.

The fifth was the worst. Even to Kaname, the Sim seemed a little too simple. The choices were so limited and the odds so impossible that the entire group submitted nearly identical battle plans.

Auntie paused before she ran the program to calculate their results.

"Would one of you kindly explain the reasoning behind this plan?" she queried.

Del stood up. "Ma'am, the best places to place forces are clearly-"

"I wasn't speaking about the specifics, Ms. Delgado," Auntie cut in. She lowered her reading glasses to pin poor Del under her icy gaze. "Why did you elect to enter this battle?"

Del blinked. "Ma'am?"

Auntie leaned forward and typed for a moment. Del's battle plan appeared on the projection screen, and Auntie used a laser pointer to highlight a new option at the bottom of the screen: Disengage.

"Your consolation can be that the others are just as unobservant," Auntie returned to her screen. "Let's see how you all fared."

Auntie clicked a button. Instead of the accustomed computerized version, the battle played out with real-life footage with a soundtrack of the actual radio transmissions. Kaname watched in horror as the battle ended in slaughter. Her plan- the common plan shared by everyone in the group- would have killed over forty people and wounded nearly a hundred others. She thought about the pilot with his hand on the head of his fallen friend, and the full gravity of what being in command really meant caused her stomach to flip-flop.

The footage ended in a silent room.

"Well, now you know what not to do," Aunt said drolly. "Let's continue."

Seven hours later, the candidates should have been thanking their lucky stars that no one had wiped out or quit, but everyone looked worn down and a little sick. Even though the previous ten days were damn hard, Auntie's games had followed certain rules. Kaname now realized that she had taken those rules for granted. She struggled to keep her indignation and frustration in check as she scrambled to relearn how to fight under the new and ever-shifting rules of engagement.

In addition to adding the option to refuse to fight, Auntie had introduced new features that let them request reinforcements or more information on the enemy. The trick (because, of course, there was a trick) was that both features sucked up a great deal of time but did not always yield better results. Kaname could request re-con and get vital new information or get nothing. She could ask for support, and the new troops might turn the tide of battle on her favor or it might cause the causality rate to skyrocket. The new options completely changed the way she had to think about approaching the battles, and it left her brain feeling like jelly.

Still, Kaname left Building D with a sense of pride, and that pride kept her from quitting. Despite Auntie's best efforts, she had endured, improved even. Her notorious stubbornness served her well against a known and brutal enemy. Even so, her strength had limits. When Dibs lost it on the way back to the barrack, Kaname had to look away to keep her own emotions from spilling out. She couldn't remember a time that she had felt so raw.

"Shit," Dibs mumbled as he wiped the tears away with his fists. "Sorry, guys. She got me good."

Del put an arm around his waist to hold him up, and even though he was nearly twice her size, Dibs leaned into her for support.

"What happened?" Del asked. Kaname heard the traces of a Spanish accent in the question and read it as a testament of the other woman's exhaustion.

Dibs shook his head and refused to answer.

Kaname tried to cheer them up. "But we all made it above the red line today, so that's something right?"

To her surprise, Del looked horrified, Aristo snickered, and Bear cleared his throat.

"What?" she asked.

Sousuke touched her elbow to get her attention while the Greek broke into a fit of bitter laughter.

"Kaname," he said in a low voice. "There's no more minimum score. Auntie set it to zero. Didn't you notice?"

"It's all mind games from here on out," Bear observed.

By the time they got back to barracks, the day was too hot for a mid-day campfire, so they tried to sleep instead. The bunks vacated by dropped candidates gaped between them like missing teeth. Kaname couldn't remember why she had wanted so much to stay, but the shape under the sheets in Sousuke's bunk reminded her why she had joined.

The next three days passed in a blur. Auntie stopped showing their scores; she only took time to highlight their mistakes. She referred it as "learning by non-example", but the group took to calling it "learning by humiliation" around the fire.

The rules changed and changed, and Auntie's tricks were beyond cruel. Kaname couldn't be sure what she did to the others, but Auntie targeted her more than once. She set a scenario that forced them to sacrifice the TTD-1. She introduced the challenge of civilian loss and then staged the next battle in Kaname's part of Tokyo. The first building razed by the enemy was Jindai High. Typically, Auntie's little jabs made her more mad than upset. They strengthened Kaname's resolve to endure. Kaname only lost it once, when her mother's face appeared in one of soldier dossiers. When she got back to the barracks, Kaname cried hard on the bathroom floor.

None of them wanted to give Auntie the pleasure of watching them break in the classroom, but the barracks was another story. They settled into the habit of looking away when someone needed a moment to lose it. Even Sousuke took off for a long walk alone once. On the last night, Aristo wept so fiercely after lights out that Del volunteered to take him outside so that the others could try to get sleep. It was a sweet gesture, especially given Aristo's less than respectful attitude towards the women in group, but it probably wasn't necessary. Kaname was still awake and dreading the blow-out, grueling, final battle that Auntie undoubtably had planned for them the next day when Aristo and Del crept in some hours later.

She must have fallen asleep at some point because she dreamed another unspeakable Sim dream. She actually loved Auntie a little for ending the nightmare early when she woke them up by flipping on the lights and poking her head into the room.

"You have one hour to get ready, pack, and meet me at Building A," she announced. "Donuts and coffee are outside."

The door banged shut behind her.

"C'mon guys," Del yawned from her bunk. "Our last meal is waiting."

"She could have at least brought us something with some meat in it," mumbled Dibs.

"Or grain alcohol," added Aristo.

Bear started to chuckle, and despite the exhaustion and wounded pride and growing sense of finality, the others joined in. Just hearing Bear's honest laugh made Kaname feel better.

She sat up and dangled her feet over the edge of the bunk.

"Hey guys, just in case I don't get the chance later, I just wanted to say thanks. I couldn't have made it without you," she confessed.

Dibs swatted at her ankles. "Knock it off, Chidori. It's too soon for teary good-byes."

"I agree," Bear said meaningfully. "I expect to see all of you in the firelight tonight."

Sousuke nodded. "I look forward to it."

"Gosh, now even Sagara's getting sentimental. You guys are such saps," Del complained, but she was grinning nevertheless. "C'mon Kaname, let's go and use up all of the hot water."

"Hope you didn't have your hearts set on getting anything with chocolate glaze," Dibs teased as he brought in the greasy box and large thermos that Auntie had left on the stoop.

"Hey, Aristo. I'm calling in that favor now," Del hollered over over her shoulder on her way to the washroom. "I want two. Lots of chocolate. Lots of sprinkles."

The Greek stood up and cracked his knuckles. "My pleasure," he agreed.

Kaname laughed again when she heard Dibs yell something about an unholy alliance as the hot shower poured over her head.

Until that moment, she had not understood how Sousuke could go through life without any family and only a few real friends. She had considered him freakishly immune to loneliness. She had pitied him and his sad, military existence. Back in Tokyo, she didn't know that strangers could become as close as family in fourteen days.

* * *

Kaname focused on the newly-minted happy memories of her comrades during the countless hours Auntie made her wait through in a drab, little cell in Building A. Auntie had divided the remaining candidates into single, tiny holding areas as soon as they arrived that morning, and without a watch in the windowless room, Kaname could only speculate how long she'd been kept waiting on the promise of a final one-on-one review with her instructor. Her stomach told her several hours had passed, but her mind argued that it couldn't be so long.

She regretted filled out the self- and peer-evaluation forms in such a hurry that morning. She could have taken her time; at least she might have staved off boredom for a few more minutes, but it had felt like another one of Auntie's tests. Kaname couldn't shake the feeling that someone was timing her responses. After she turned them in, she took a quick bathroom break and came back to her cell to wait. And wait. And wait. She waited so long that her butt went numb on the comfortless folding chair, and she had to alternate between sitting and pacing the meager ten foot length of the room. Who knew waiting could be so exhausting?

She was in the middle of counting ceiling tiles for the fourth time when the door finally opened.

"Ms. Chidori, I have been looking forward to speaking with you." Auntie's voice sounded higher and kinder than Kaname remembered. She watched warily from across the thin table as the formally-dressed officer opened a rather thick file and set out stacks of paper on the table.

"You can stop looking at me like I might bite," said Auntie with a smirk. "The tests are over, and I must say, you've made marked progress in just fourteen days."

She handled over a bradded folder, and Kaname noted her name written on the front cover.

"May I?" she asked, gesturing to the documents.

"By all means. These are about you, after all," Auntie returned. "You can see that every aspect of your performance in the past two weeks has been closely monitored and documented."

A cursory glance at the charts and spreadsheets made Kaname's eyes go wide. She expected the summaries of her overall causality counts, failed objectives, and her total mission success ratios. She didn't expect the breakdowns of her average number of cups of coffee per day and correlations between her downtime and performance. The report on her actual sleep vs. off-duty hours made her cringe. Was there a camera in the barracks?

Auntie let her pour through the data for a few minutes before continuing. "Let me summarize, Ms. Chidori. You have good reason to be proud. You came into the Academy with the least experience. We were persuaded to extend the initial invitation to you by Mithril's High Command against the better judgement of some of our advisors. Fortunately, you surpassed the original estimations of your abilities by leaps and bounds."

Kaname tried to hide her grin with the favorable report on her leadership at the challenging training course.

"So I hope that you are not too disappointed that we cannot extend a formal acceptance to you," Auntie went on. "It was overly optimistic of High Command to expect another Teletha Testarossa."

"What?" Kaname gasped.

Auntie patted her hand. "You did very well for a civilian. Indeed, you did far better than some of Mithril's own hopefuls, but you can't deny your obvious flaws."

Kaname's temper boiled, but she kept her voice even. "I don't know what you're talking about," she replied.

She caught her fingers twisting at the ends of her hair and set them firmly in her lap.

"Oh, Kaname, I was hoping that you wouldn't take it this hard," Auntie sighed. She plucked out a few sheets of paper and handed them over. "This is your progress chart. You can see that you have made more than a few big leaps in right direction during the past two weeks. These jumps in ability show promise, but when tracked against the remaining candidates, your performance is, well, _lacking_."

Kaname took in the wide gap between her lowly purple line and the jagged trails of the others. She imagined that red line skimming the top of the chart was Bear's.

"But the real issue came up in the peer reviews," Auntie droned, handing over a single sheet marked by highlighted passages. Kaname skimmed over the document.

_More of a mascot than a contender..._

_Sweet girl, albeit inexperienced. Decent for a civilian..._

_Hard to imagine her winning the respect of a battalion..._

_Unreliable control over basic tactics..._

_Uncontrolled outbursts due to the Whispers..._

_Questionable relationship with Sagara..._

_Depends on the support of others..._

_Highly emotional, as should be expected from a teenaged girl..._

As if to prove the last remark correct, Kaname wanted nothing more than to start throwing things.

Auntie read her impulse like a headline and pushed over a creamy envelope marked with an embossed seal.

"That's not to say that you aren't seen as a valuable asset to Mithril. The Research and Development group is chomping at the metaphorical bit to get you on contract," Auntie comforted. She stood up, then, and took her time smoothing down her skirt and adjusting her cap.

"I've taken the liberty of sending someone to pack up your things to save you the embarrassment of facing the others," she added like an afterthought. "Your bag is at the front desk. I urge you to consider the proposal from R&D. They will treat you well. The head researcher, Dr. Twomey, is expecting an answer tonight."

Auntie extended her hand. Kaname absently stood and took it. Auntie gave her a firm shake and a smile.

"Take care, Kaname," she said as the door closed behind her.

The blue-haired girl stared at the papers in front of her for a long moment. She opened the envelope and read the cordial greetings typed on the heavy-weight paper. She thought about how to break the news to Melissa and Kurz, about Tessa's face when she heard that Kaname couldn't hack it, about taking her file in its entirety outside and burning it. She was considering crying when the door creaked.

"Kaname? Can I come in?"

She hadn't thought about what to say to him. He opened the door anyway, slipped inside, and closed it gently behind him. She arranged her face into a half-smile.

"I don't think you are supposed here, Sousuke."

"Probably not, but I learned a long time ago that I should always find a way to say goodbye to you," he said.

Kaname wondered which of the peer-evalution comments that damned her with faint praise belonged to him.

"That's sweet, but it's okay," she lied. "It's not like we won't be seeing each other again."

The silence stretched between them. Kaname squirmed in the hard chair.

"I'm proud of you," Sousuke said at last.

Kaname felt the hot, angry tears threatening to spill out. She rested her forehead in the palms of her hands.

"I...I will miss you, Kaname. I really did look forward to being classmates again," Sousuke went on.

"Just go, Sousuke," she pleaded. The last thing she wanted was to let him see her cry over a simple rejection.

She heard him move to the door and pause.

"I'll tell Mao and Weber that you said hello," he said in a low voice. "Good-bye."

It took a second to process his meaning, and then Kaname jumped to her feet, knocking the flimsy chair with a jarring clatter.

"Wait! Where are you going?" she demanded.

"I've been assigned back to the TDD-1," he answered. His grey eyes searched hers for clues. "I'm supposed to check in tonight."

"That makes no sense," Kaname complained. A number of documents turned into a useless ball in her fist.

"My progress was unsatisfactory..." Sousuke began.

Kaname shoved the progress chart under his nose. "You all did great! Amazing even. I'm the weakest link."

Sousuke took the sheet of paper from her and traced the purple line that represented her growth.

"No, Kaname. You have more natural talent than any soldier I have ever known," he implored. "You learn so fast."

Kaname laughed bitterly. "Yeah, right."

Her reaction didn't sit right with him, and perhaps it was his directionless angry or his utter, bone-deep weariness that gave him courage to touch her cheek.

"You're one of the most capable people I have ever known," he told her.

She glared at him.

"You could have put that my review," she snorted.

"I did," he stated simply. "I really did."

She tipped her head into the warmth of his hand. "Then why was I reassigned to research?"

"Are you playing a joke on me?" Sousuke asked.

"No," she ground out, realization dawning on her. "Auntie's playing a trick on us."

* * *

They found Del, dry-eyed and shell-shocked, one door over.

"Neither of us got in. You?" Kaname asked.

"No," Del shook her head and frowned. Then, she put it together. "Oh, this is some fucking bullshit."

"Oh yeah," Kaname agreed.

"We need to find the others," Sousuke broke in.

Del took charge immediately. "Kaname, watch the front door. Sousuke, you and I need to find the guys before they do something stupid. Christ! I can't believe I almost fell for that 'nice-shot-but-no-cigar' crap."

Kaname made it to the building's single entrance just in time to intercept Dibs, who looked like someone had run over his kitten until she explained the situation to him. He responded by whooping and sweeping Kaname into a bone-crushing bear hug.

"You are the most wonderful girl, ever!" he crowed while the desk staff looked on and giggled.

When the others couldn't turn up Aristo or Bear in Building A, they grabbed their bags from the behind the desk, split up, and searched the island. Kaname tried the air hanger, Del went to the piers, and Sousuke scouted the mess hall. They had almost given up hope when Dibs found the Greek nursing his sore ego at the base cantina. Aristo gushed his thanks while drunkenly embracing all of them, except Del with whom he respectfully shook hands instead.

"I don't want to get my ass kicked," he explained as he extended his hand to her.

Del beamed at him. "Damn straight."

"So where is our Papa Bear?" Aristo hiccuped.

"He wasn't at any of the other locations. I don't know how we missed him," Sousuke wondered aloud. The sunset illuminated his cross-shaped scar but shed no light on their friend's whereabouts.

"The campfire won't be the same without him," Aristo slurred, and Del started to laugh.

"That sneak. No wonder none of us could ever beat him," she chuckled. "I should have realized when we didn't see his bag with the others. Guys, he's probably already back at the barracks."

Sure enough, a tall figure was keeping vigil over the flames when they finally made it home.

"Ha! I knew I would see you all again!" Bear beamed at them. "But I don't think your Auntie will be as glad. She owes me fifty bucks."

The Senegalian spread out his arms to welcome the perplexed candidates and flashed his sparkling white grin. "Congratulations and explanations are in order. Please sit."

They set down their bags against the barrack's foundation and took their familiar posts on the split-log benches. Everyone found their real files in their accustomed seats. Kaname breathed easier when she read the un-censored version of her peer-evaluations.

_At first, I thought she would be more of a mascot than a contender, but I underestimated her... _

_Chidori's has shown that she can go from an unreliable control over basic tactics to owning advanced strategies in record time. Genius..._

_Her uncontrolled outbursts due to the Whispers are her only liability, but her many talents more than make up for that... _

_She may have a questionable relationship with Sagara, but the fact that a pro like him thinks so highly of her speaks volumes..._

"I can't believe you've been Auntie's spy this whole time," Dibs grumbled, shaking his head. "How did I miss that."

"Some deception was necessary to truly sound out your potential," Bear explained. "And tomorrow, we can begin our true work. From now on, please call me Zio."


	11. Warehouse

A/N: Please drop a line if any of this chapter fails to make sense. Lambda drivers are microwaves to me- powered by magic!

* * *

The question had come out of nowhere, and Sousuke realized too late that his response displeased Kaname. It wasn't his fault. She asked for his opinion, he answered sincerely, and then she smacked him. It was another part of the same lesson for Sousuke. Sometimes Kaname wanted the truth and sometimes she didn't.

He resisted the urge to rub the new sore spot on his skull. They were scheduled to attend the first session on Lambda driver training in less than five minutes, and he didn't want to risk tardiness by provoking her again. Kaname would be even angrier if he failed to direct them to the right building in time.

"It's so obvious! Even a moron like you should see it," Kaname went on, more to herself than to her companion. "Mao and Kurz are totally having some sort of torrid romance."

Sousuke opted not to speak. Trying to refuting that his best friend and commanding officer were lovers had already earned him one blow from Kaname's harisen. He didn't wish to expediate a second encounter. In a way, the return of Kaname's temper was a good thing. It proved that the fourteen-day-long trial of MCA hadn't damaged her spirit, and she had been so excited about seeing their friends again that Sousuke didn't want to put her in a foul mood just before the reunion.

"I mean, you had to notice that they kept slipping off together when we were on the sub. Kurz knew about her snoring. And you should have seen how jealous Melissa got when I kissed him. It's right there! So clear!" Kaname rattled on. "Give me one reason why I'm wrong."

"You kissed Kurz?!" Sousuke exploded before he could think. Suddenly, he felt a little queasy.

"Yes. On. The. Cheek." Kaname rolled her eyes and looked more than a little pleased with herself. "It was a test to see if I was right about him and Melissa."

Sousuke checked his head and checked the landmarks against his mental map of Merida Island. Building F should be just ahead and around the bend in the road.

"Well?" Kaname prodded. She expected a response.

"We're almost there," Sousuke attempted to distract her. "If we hurry, we won't be late."

"Oh, no," Kaname huffed with her arms crossed over her chest. "I'm not going anywhere until you give me one reason."

"Because Bear told us to represent MCA well?" he tried.

"Not that, idiot! Why is it so 'impossible', as you say, for Melissa and Kurz to be together?"

She glared at him, and Sousuke blew out a long breath. Why were his options always all bad? Tardiness or Kaname's wrath. Duty or friendship. He sighed because there was never really much of a choice for him these days.

"Fraternization," he answered her. "Overly friendly relationships, especially between seniors and juniors, that might interfere with normal duties are not permissible in any part of Mithril, but especially in combat units. If poor performance in battle can be linked to personal matters, both parties can be court marshalled. I doubt that Kurz or Mao would be so reckless as to endanger the lives in our unit and their careers."

"Isn't that unfair? People can't help falling in love," Kaname countered. Her eyebrows knitted as she processed the new information. "Wait, so that means that you and Tessa couldn't-"

"We're going to be late," Sousuke reminded her.

"Yeah, okay," she muttered. To his great relief, she fell into step beside him. He held the door for her as they entered Building F.

Unlike the concrete bunker of Building D or the breezy office space of Building A, the majority of the floors in Building F were underground. Once inside and through the impressive security measures, all visitors took an elevator down into the heart of the island and the center of Mithril's Research and Development labratory.

Sousuke didn't miss the way Kaname's shoulders tensed up towards her ears when they stepped off the transport and nearly collided with a cow-sized mechanical hand. Her encounters with the Whispers had lessened since she disembarked from Tessa's submarine, but as Auntie's little exercise proved, Kaname's control over their power was not as fine as the captain's. Hanging around all the developmental Black Technology in the lab wouldn't be easy for her. Sousuke made a mental note to stay close to his former mission objective.

"Sorry, folks," the tubby gentleman driving the forklift called out. The electric motor whined and pushed the hand past them. Its enormous, spidery fingers flexed then extended on its accord, as if waving to them.

"That was creepy," Kaname observed.

"We're almost there," he encouraged her.

The meeting convened in a large-ish room with bare walls, concrete floors, and high, sterile ceilings. Even with his austere tastes, Sousuke noted that the space looked more suitable for storage than a class. The folding chairs formed five rows of five, and two tables were set up at the front. A dozen or so black boxes the size of mircowaves lined the far wall, and someone had set up a projection system. Sousuke recognized most of the faces in the room from his own SRT Pacific unit and the Atlantic one. The Indian unit had been wiped out four months ago, and their loss at the hands of a single Venom unit amid the otherwise unremarkable death toys of a small-time warlord had likely triggered Mithril's push to expand use of the Lambda driver.

One of the few people in the room not recognizable to Sousuke, a wiry man in his mid-twenties, greeted them.

"Ms. Chidori, we have save a seat for you at the far table," he said cheerily and pointed the way. He turned his attention to Sousuke with much less enthusiasm. "All pilots are welcome to any seat in the rows."

Kaname hesitated, and Sousuke read her fear. If the Whispers made an appearance, he couldn't be at her side. He selected the chair in the front row nearest to her table, caught her eye, and nodded. The corners of her pretty mouth quirked up in the tiniest of smiles. He would be there for her. They could make it work.

The room filled quickly, and as per the order, no one wore their insignia. The occupants of the front tables didn't look too familiar, but without their stripes, they could have been from R&D or from High Command for all Sousuke knew.

Melissa and Kurz were the last to arrive. Kurz winked at them while Melissa shoved him toward the empty seats at the back of the room. The laces on one of Kurz's boots were untied, and Melissa's hair stood up in every which direction. Kaname tilted her head and pointed at them under the table, so no one but Sousuke would notice. He shook his head. She was wrong; he knew better. It wasn't an illict affair that made their friends late and unkempt. It was a stop at the base cantina.

A woman in unmarked combat fatigues stood before the assembly and raised a hand to quiet the room.

"I am glad that Mithril has allowed us this time together," she began. "It is not an exaggeration to say that we must adapt to survive. Enabling and equipping all SRT units with Lambda drivers and trained pilots is just the first step."

Heads around the room nodded in agreement.

"We don't have time for introductions," she went on, "but even if we did, the information that we are about to share with you is too critical to be associated with names. Please trust that what you are about to see and hear comes from the best sources and the highest caliber intelligence. You may not take notes or discuss this meeting with anyone outside of this room."

She turned to the wiry man, and he scurried to take the floor. Even without official markings, Sousuke could tell that the man before him was no solider. There was something different in the way a man stood when he killed to earn his keep.

"I've taken the librerty of assembling the most recent clips from the field regarding our enemies. Please note the differing capabilities," the man started.

For the next fifteen minutes, they watched video clips of AS combat. Most of the footage had been harvested from the internal video feed on defeated Arm Slaves, but Sousuke recognized some shots from the Arbalest as well from the units of Gray, Kurz, Melissa, and the leader of the Indian squad. Most of it was recorded in the past three months. It wasn't hard to see the pattern. The quickness of the Venoms. The smash-and-grab tactics of the latest American M-10. The brute, blinding force of the frankensteined combination of the Savage with a hacked Lambda driver backpack. Sousuke had heard that in the rush to go Lambda, many small operations had begun retro-fitting any existing AS with a driver. Between his own experiences in the SRT and the recent training with MCA, none of the information was particularly new or revealing, but from the speechless wonder of the others, Sousuke suspected that most of the audience was not as well-informed.

When the footage stopped, the man turned back to the group.

"Our enemies are powerful, but they have made a critical error. As you should all know, the Lambda driver physically manifests human emotion. In other words, what you feel as you pilot your AS becomes reality. It takes both supreme confidence and incredible control to-"

"No."

Her voice echoed clearly in the bare room, and all eyes shifted to the seated, blue-haired girl. Kaname's balletic fingers glided over the table as if she were writing without paper or pen. Sousuke took in her dim eyes and slack mouth. The Whispers had her, but she did not appear to be in pain yet. He wondered if she would scream this time and how much trouble he would cause if he stole her out of the meeting and carried her out of that dank room into the sunlight.

"Not confidence. Will. It's not the same. Not the same," Kaname mumbled.

"Regardless, our enemies have made a mistake," the thin scientist continued. "They compromised power for control."

A series of schemas that made little sense to Sousuke flashed on the projection scene.

"We believe that our enemies forced the extraction of Lambda driver details from unwilling Whispereds, and as a result, their systems are less pure than ours. In other words, Mithril's Lambda drivers are the best in the business. " The wiry man paused as if expecting applause, but when the pilots only glared at him, he pushed up his wire-framed glasses and looked to the woman who had made the opening statement.

"'Best' isn't a comforting word to us," she prompted. "Everyone knows that Mithril suspended the introduction of more Arbalests when we could only find one person to pilot the deployed unit."

Sousuke felt the tingle of several sets of eyes settling on the back of his head.

"Pardon me, but are we to understand that Mithril has more than one Arbalest?" asked a Russian in the second row.

The thin man beamed. "Oh, we have something better than the Arba-"

"Mithril would like to confirm that we can train pilots to operate these advanced units before production is ramped up," the woman cut in.

The older gentleman seated next to her cleared his throat and reshuffled his stack of papers, and the thin man shifted nervously and turned his attention back to the projector.

"We discovered the Lambda driver through one of our Whispereds, but unfortunately, he did not have the knowledge to guide us to use it. His experiments in engineering a training device returned mixed results. After we lost him in unfortunate accident, Mithril suspended Lambda training. Our enemies did not. They do not value the sanity of their pilots like we do. They discovered that if the power of the Lambda driver is scrolled back, pilots can achieve limited success using by pyschostimulants and lysergic acid diethylamide, or LSD for you crazy kids, in lieu of training."

An image of a young woman with crazed eyes, foaming at the mouth, and strapped into a gurney flickered across the screen. Sousuke had seen that expression before, frozen on the faces of pilots he had defeated.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but I'm not taking any drugs," the Russian declared.

"Shut up, Mikhail. No one is saying you gotta screw with that stuff," Kurz broke in from the back row.

Sousuke turned around in time to see Melissa nod in agreement.

"Exactly," the scientist agreed. "The drugs overstimulate the frontal lobes which leaves users unable to control their impluses and irrational emotions. We don't want to 'go there'." He smiled at his own lame joke, but the thick silence in the room made him cough and shift his focus back to the task at hand. "Mithril recently acquired the assistance of a Whispered who specializes in Lambda drivers. Using the designs she supplied, my team was able to build the training devices that you see behind me."

Sousuke diverted his attention from Kaname to take a closer look at the black boxes. From his seat in the front row, he could see them clearly. A screen took up most of one side of the unit, and a thin wire connected to two electrodes provided the only input he could detect.

"The...ahhh...issue is, well, we aren't..." the man in glasses stammered, suddenly at a loss for words.

"Thank you, I can take it from here," the woman interjected. She stood up and smoothed her fatigues while the scientist skulked off to set up one of the boxes in the corner.

"We do face a significant challenge." She paused to tucked her hair behind her ears. Sousuke noted that she wore tiny silver crosses as earrings. None of the women in the combat units wore such jewelry, yet this woman had the hard look of a soldier. "We have tested the new training boxes on captured enemy pilots, so we can verify that they work. But we can't tell you how. We can only show you what we know."

She pointed to Sousuke and gestured for him to come forward. Whispering rippled through the room as he stood. If any of other pilots did not know of Sousuke's talents before, they would not forget his face now. Kaname watched as the scientist directed Sousuke into a chair and affixed the electrodes to his temples. She had the glassy look of a doll, but her hands rested calmly in her lap.

"If you could, please demonstrate how to trigger the Lambda driver," the woman with the earrings commanded.

Sousuke closed his eyes and re-enacted the same ritual that had always worked for him. He thought about Kaname- what it would feel like to lose her for good. He let the guilt and self-doubt bubble to the surface of his consciousness, and then he distilled all that emotion into a single point. He took a deep breath, just the way she had told him to do. Then, he imagined breaking through the imaginary wall to reach her.

A happy beep made him open his eyes. A graph on the screen of the black box spiked over the x-axis, and then dipped down to a jagged baseline.

"Can you tell us how you achieve that effect?" the woman asked.

"I think about doing whatever it takes to save someone," he responded.

Sousuke hated explanations. Actions were so much easier. The woman smiled at him, and he saw something motherly pass across her features. It reminded him of Kaname when she made him dinner. Kindness.

"Can you be more specific?" she asked gently.

Sousuke felt his palms go slick with sweat.

"Doesn't matter," Kaname's voice broke in. Her fingers traced some sort of design on the table. "A conquered fear. Self-doubt. Panic. Control."

"Please elaborate," the woman prompted Kaname. The girl's hands began to dance across the table again. She looked so pale.

"She means that you can't have confidence," Sousuke said.

"Hey, you guys know that you're not making sense, right?" Kurz complained from the back row.

Sousuke gulped while his mind spun in circles. How to explain it? It would be so much easier to just do it.

"Don't trust yourself. Don't want it. Do it," Kaname rattled off. "Find your fear and end it. Panic and then control it."

The woman pulled on a silver stud and sighed.

"Perhaps we can show the tape," she suggested.

The thin man jumped up to tinker with the projector while she continued. "We know from the tapes that pilots must do three things to fight with the aid of the Lambda driver. First is imprinting with the AS. Second, activating the defenses. Third, executing an effective attack. Ironically, the first step isn't fully complete until the third is achieved."

The man nodded to her, and the lights dimmed. Sousuke recongized the scene. It was from his first fight with the Arbalest against Gauron. The screen showed his point-of-view from the cockpit, and Kaname's voice walked him through the steps. Melissa and Kurz snickered when it got to the part where Kaname asked him to think about men hurting her to get Sousuke angry.

When the footage ended, Sousuke realized that Kaname was speaking. The woman in earrings watched the girl intently.

"-ideal pilot age: Under 21. Reason: Less developed frontal lobes lead to larger emotional surges," Kaname droned. "Ideal siutation: Desperate. Reason: Actual risk forces imprinting out of pilot need. Ideal combat: One on one, or one versus many. Reason: See above. Pilot cannot think about secondary aid. Forced controlled panic."

Kaname's words became unintelliable, and the woman moved to stand across from the Whispered girl. Every ear in the room strained to hear.

"You advised the pilot to imagine someone hurting you. Why?" she asked.

Kaname looked at her with empty eyes.

"Pilot: Young male. Loner. Lonely. Duty-driven. Emotional state: Conflicted. Suspected physical/emotional attachment. Exploit personal relationship to achieve imprint. Defense activiation complete following first enemy attack. Offense..." Kaname trailed off.

"Wow, who knew a teenage crush could power the scariest weapon since the atomic bomb?" quipped the scientist. Again, no one laughed.

Sousuke felt hot under the scrutiny of every person in the room as the commanding woman pinned him in her glaze.

"Please describe your relationship with her," she ordered and pointed at Kaname.

"I was assigned to protect her. We were classmates at the time," Sousuke got out.

The woman shook her head. "I mean emotionally. Did you have feelings for her?"

Sousuke stared at the wall to avoid making eye contact with anyone.

"Please be honest. It's for the greater good," the woman said gently.

"Yes," Sousuke admitted. "I was afraid to fail her."

"Have you used that fear to operate the Lambda driver since then?" she prodded him.

"Yes."

"Every time?"

"Affirmative."

The woman touched his shoulder.

"Thank you, you may go," she nodded to him. Sousuke didn't dare to look at Kaname as he fled the room.

* * *

Kaname felt someone touch her hand, and then she became aware again of the cold room in Building F. She remembered; they were there for Lambda driver training.

"Kaname?" someone called to her.

She blinked, and Melissa and Kurz came into focus.

"Jeez, you were out of it!" Kurz observed.

"Sorry," Kaname said absently. The headache retreated, and her own thoughts started to flow freely again. She took stock of the room. "What did I miss?"

Kurz and Melissa shared a strange look.

"What do you remember last?" Melissa asked.

"I remember that weird guy showing us video of AS combat," Kaname recalled. She frowned when her mind finally registered what was missing. "Wait, where's Sousuke?"

"That poor bastard," Kurz sighed.

"What did he do?" Kaname demanded.

"More like what did you do," Melissa poked her in shoulder. "You outed the guy as a dopey, love-lorn schmuck."

"And then you explained how you manipulated his crush on you to activate the Lambda driver. In front of half of High Command," Kurz picked up. He flashed her a toothy grin and a thumbs up. "Good job!"

"You can't be serious," Kaname groaned. She searched her head and recalled exactly nothing from the past 45 minutes.

"Now that you're back in the land of the living, do you think you could show me how to use this thing?" Kurz pointed to the black box on the table. "I should warn you that I'm way over my big crush on you, little sister, so you can forget about using that against me."

It took Kaname almost an hour to escape from Building F. Kurz figured out the device on the third try with very little coaching, but Melissa and the rest of the pilots had next to no success. The room echoed with the disappointing buzzing of the machines as they logged near-misses. The woman in charge had broken them into pods of two or three pilots per training machine, and Kaname bounced from group to group, trying to offer advice and tips. In the end, a couple of boxes were assigned to each SRT unit, and the meeting adjorned. Melissa disappeared with one of the devices given to her group almost immediately, but Kurz hung back with Kaname.

"You should apologize to him," Kurz advised her in a low voice as they rode the elevator to the surface.

"I don't even remember what I did!" Kaname argued. She couldn't be held responsible for the whims of the Whispers.

"So what?" Kurz reasoned. "He had to admit how much he cares about you, and you're just going to claim ignorance and pretend like he didn't just live every guy's nightmare?"

"If he cares so much, why didn't he stick around to make sure that my brain wasn't being eaten by a pack of Whispers! He didn't tell _me _anything!" Kaname hissed back.

"Unbelievable!" Kurz sagged against the railing on the elevators, ran a hand through his hair, and looked up at the ceiling. "Look, Angel, I'm only saying this because we're friends. You're an idiot."

The elevator's bell dinged, and the doors slid open. Kaname fumed as she and Kurz followed the crowd back through security and out the front door. Once outside, he caught up to her again. Kaname did her best to ignore him, but Kurz refused to be deterred. Kaname understood why Melissa hit the German so often. He could be so infuriating.

"That was mean, you know," she sniped at him.

"Mean but true." He stuffed his hands into his pockets and looked totally unrepentant. "Do you know what the worst feeling in the world is?"

"Having your friends insult you?" Kaname quipped.

"Saying I love you and not hearing it back," Kurz went on.

"He didn't say that he loves me."

"He might as well have." Kurz kicked at a loose stone on the path. "You gotta decide what is more important: being right or being with Sousuke."

When Kaname didn't answer, Kurz put a brotherly hand on her head.

"I'll take back the idiot comment when you stop acting like one," he said and then headed off down a different path.

Kaname thought about Kurz's advice for the rest of the walk back to her room. After the final test, the candidates had become official cadets and moved out of the communal barracks and into the MCA dorm. Kaname and Del shared a room next door to the three guys, who occupied one of the spacious corner suites. The rest of the rooms were filled out with upperclass cadets and a few warrant officers. Bear and Auntie had rooms somewhere else on the island.

Kaname did not realized that she had made up her mind until she passed her own door and stopped in front of Sousuke's. Before she could back out, she raised her hand and knocked.

Aristo answered the door, took one critical look at Kaname, and called for Sousuke. From the way the Greek glared at her, Sousuke had already told his roommates about what she had done.

"Kaname," Sousuke acknowledged her coolly when he stepped outside. He left the door open, and Kaname tried to ignore Dibs and Aristo staring at them from inside.

"Hey, can we go somewhere and talk?" she found herself asking. It would be hard enough to say what needed to be said without an audience. Sousuke nodded and took the lead. The dorms were too busy to be private.

It was weird, walking next to him in total silence. Things hadn't been this awkward between them since he used to follow her around when he had first arrived in Tokyo. Back then, she had thought he was just another creepy admirer. She caught herself smiling at the memory, but that expression shifted into a glare when Sousuke shoved her behind a shed.

"What are you-!" she got out before he pressed a hand over her mouth.

"So how are things with your sexy sergeant?" a female voice asked.

Kaname could hear two sets of footsteps coming down the path.

"Oh, stop it! You're embarrassing me. He is a member of my crew, you know," a familiar voice responded.

"You didn't answer my question," the other girl teased.

Tessa's light laugh was unmistakable. Of course, she would be back at base along with Weber and Mao. The TDD-1 had been on the docket for repairs since it dropped Kaname and Sousuke off on the island a little over two weeks ago.

"He told me that I was a very important person to him," she giggled. "And he called me Tessa!"

"That's it? It's been ages since we've had the chance to catch up. I thought you would have lots of juicy details."

"I'm supposed to meet up with him and some friends tonight. You should come, too!" Tessa pleaded.

"I can't. Work, you know..." the other girl sighed.

The voices moved away from their hiding place, and Kaname took stock of her companion's face. Sousuke's hair hung across his eyes, and when she touched his sleeve, he flinched like he had been expecting a blow instead. If Tessa's inane prattling hadn't been enough to push her over the edge, now Sousuke had to act like she was going to hit him.

She might have lashed out, but in that moment, the wind pushed Sousuke's hair back. Kaname could see how he had squeezed his eyes shut, as if trying to keep the world at bay. Of course, she realized when her anger abated enough to let her think straight, Tessa's comments were just as upsetting to him as they were to her. Fraterinization was the least of Sousuke's problems; he respected the chain of command and the boundaries of fellowship. Tessa's advances put him in the worst of positions, as both her friend and her subordinate.

"Let's go somewhere else, okay?" Kaname asked, careful to keep her tone soft. If she ever going to say it, she needed to do it soon or risk losing her nerve.

"There's a place in the warehouse that Kurz told me about," Sousuke said, pointing to the large brick-shaped building ahead.

"C'mon," Kaname prompted. She tried to sound comforting. Still, Sousuke seemed to drag his feet. She thought about yelling at him for being so slow but noted she wasn't moving any faster. In a few minutes, she would need to tell him, and the very thought of giving voice to the truth made her heart go cold.

She saw it first; once inside, a stray shaft of sunlight illuminated a blonde head ducking behind the stacks of crates in the dusty warehouse. Sousuke motioned her behind him, and they followed him through the labyrinth of discarded equipment and forgotten files. In the heart of the maze, Sousuke peeked around a corner, and then flattened himself against the stack of boxes. Kaname ducked past him to see what would bring Kurz Weber into a lonely warehouse.

* * *

Melissa heard him coming; that swagger in the footfalls coming towards her could belong to only one person. If she was lucky, she could get it done in time to have a witness. She closed her eyes, pushed out a breath, and tried. The buzzer went off, so she didn't even need to look at the screen to know that she had failed again. Melissa groaned and leaned back to get her sweaty hair out of her face. It was increasingly difficult to stop herself from smashing that damn box, especially when the hot, still air in the warehouse made her so irritable and tired.

He didn't say anything at first, just crouched behind her and pressed something deliciously cool between her exposed shoulder blades. He didn't need to explain how he had found her; he was the one who had told her about this spot. Building F's air circulation system had to go above ground someplace, and Mithril opted to disguise the enormous vent with the warehouse. The outer edges of the building were filled with the flotsam of the organization, but Kurz had been found a twisting path into the empty center surrounding the vent. They used to sneak back there to play poker with the other SRT guys.

"Hey, you," Melissa smiled without turning to look at him. "That better be beer."

"You know it," Kurz confirmed.

He trailed another cold bottle across her clavicle. The condensation from the chilled glass mingled with her sweat and trickled down her chest. It felt so wonderful that she tipped her head back, so he could work the bottle along her throat. He used his breath to cool her brow before crowning her with a kiss. She opened her eyes and reached for him. His lips were cool, and he tasted like ale.

It had been over three weeks since the last time they had a proper kiss, and Melissa had missed his slow style. Given the chance, Kurz took the time to do everything right.

The TDD-1 had picked up Peggy, the regular medic, on its last swing through base. The no-nonsense physician tracked down Melissa that afternoon and tackled the snoring problem with the Pillar procedure. The minor surgery hurt more than Melissa had expected, and the painkillers left her woozy and nauseated. She stopped taking them, and then her mouth hurt too much to eat or drink. She spent the week feeling like roadkill, and Kurz, to his credit, respected her need for space. After Peggy deemed her cured and Melissa felt well enough, the housing manager assigned her a new roommate, effectively killing any chance for privacy on the submarine. Then, a surprise operation delayed their return to base for an extra week. As soon as they had docked that morning at Merida Island, Melissa and Kurz managed to sneak away for the briefest of trysts, and they barely made it to Building F in time for the training. She thought that a physical release would ease the nagging ache that she had nursed since their last tumble, but as she sat in the back of the classroom, Melissa had arrived at the unpleasant conclusion that a quick encounter in an unused barrack hadn't satiated her need for Kurz's touch. She didn't like to admit how much she craved something as simple yet meaningful as an unhurried kiss.

"You want to take a break?" Kurz asked hopefully when he finally pulled away.

"I want to figure this out first," she said, tapping the electrodes back into place. The adhesive was no match for the humidity of the stuffy warehouse.

Kurz used the metal clip of his suspenders to crack open a bottle and held it out to her. When Melissa shook her head to refuse, he shrugged and took a pull for himself.

"You better work fast, babe, or there won't be any left for you," he teased.

"Like I need the motivation," she quipped. She turned back to the black box, shut her eyes, and tried again.

"Damn it!" she growled as the buzzer sounded out her failure.

"You want some pointers?"

"Not from you," Melissa shot back and then grimaced. She hadn't meant to sound so mean.

Of course, it didn't matter how bitchy she got. Melissa knew that she terrified most guys, even sturdy Mithril types, but she could say or do just about anything without fear (or hope) of getting rid of Kurz. He just didn't scare when it came to her. Of course, he was probably like that with all women, she reminded herself.

While she collected her thoughts for the next attempt at cracking the mystery of the box, Kurz sprawled out on the floor and ran the edge of his beer bottle down her arm.

"I'd be happy to help," he offered again.

"I'd be happy to hit someone right about now, so back off," she groused.

The buzzer blared out her failure, and Melissa put her head in her hands. "Damn it!"

"You're pretty when you're angry, you know."

"Shut up, Kurz," she pleaded. "Please."

It had to be the 'please' that tipped him off because she heard him set down the beer and scoot closer to her. When he spoke again, his voice was low in her ear.

"I'm sorry," Kurz said. "I know it's not easy. If it were, they wouldn't need to bother with the special training, right?"

"You made it look easy," she muttered. Melissa leaned back, and even though the heat was nearly unbearable, it felt good to let him hold her up. His hand, cooled from holding the beer, stroked the soft curve of her bicep.

"I have a lot practice with feeling too much and finding small ways to let it out," he admitted. "You know how much of what I do is an act."

She turned to rest her forehead on his shoulder.

He was right. She did know.

Kurz flirted shamelessly with every girl, but she had yet to hear about him taking anyone to bed but her. He joked around too much. He presented himself as a pretty-boy loser, but she counted on him to come through in combat, especially after Sousuke shifted to part-time status. The team depended on him, and she forgot that he was six years her junior more often than she cared to admit.

"If you've got any advice, I'm listening," she said into his shirt. If he could admit the truth, then so could she.

He tugged on her hair and laughed in relief. "You got it."

She reached forward and reset the box while Kurz repositioned himself to sit just behind her.

"Alright, you gotta conjure up the worst thing that you can imagine to really make it work," he coached.

"What do you think I've been doing?" she snapped.

"Easy, babe. I'm trying to help here." His voice dropped, so she had to strain to catch his next words. "Don't get mad because I'm really serious here. Whatever you've been trying isn't enough. You have to think about the absolutely most gut-wrenching, painful scenario that you can dream up. Real scary shit."

Melissa sighed. She had been thinking about saving her squad. Her men were her best friends and more, but now that she thought it through, she realized that she could do worse. What soldier doesn't fear losing her comrades? Hadn't she lost men before and made it through? It wasn't easy to admit what she feared the most.

"Okay. Got it," she said after a moment.

"Really think it through. Imagine all the gory details," Kurz instructed. "The more specific, the better."

Melissa shuddered. Her mind wanted to stop, to shut down and think about something else. Her mouth went dry. A part of her tried to pull back on her focus. Maybe she should sip on a little beer and then try again, it offered.

She set her jaw and forced out temptation.

"Now, what ever it is, just stop it. Find way to break through," he directed.

And she did.

The machine beeped merrily, and Melissa ripped off the electrodes and whooped in glee.

When she turned around, Kurz was leaning back on one hand and taking a drag from his beer with the other.

"That's my girl," he declared.

"I'm not your girl," she scoffed.

"Oh really?" Kurz asked smugly.

Melissa snatched away his beer, pinned Kurz to the floor, and held him down while she drained his bottle. Then, she grabbed the other beer and popped it open the heel of her boot. She expected him to fight her for it, but when she brought it to her lips, she noticed him smirking at her.

"What?" she asked

He hooked a leg over her chest, slammed her backwards, and was on her before the beer could spill.

"Your close combat is getting better-" she got out before his mouth closer on hers.

* * *

Kaname had to stuff her mouth into the crook her her elbow to keep from laughing out loud. She was right; just around the corner, Melissa and Kurz were kissing like it was the end of the world. Kaname suspected that they would be doing more than that in a few minutes, and so she pulled back to avoid seeing more than she needed. Sousuke would have to admit that he was wrong now.

One look at him, however, and Kaname didn't feel like gloating. Sousuke looked miserable. Between the incident in Building F, overhearing Tessa's comments, and catching his closest friends going at it in a sweatbox of a warehouse, Sousuke was having a terrible day.

He noticed her watching him, and his shoulders sagged lower. He opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it. Melissa and Kurz would hear them. Crouching down, he traced a simple message in the dirt on the warehouse floor.

SORRY.

Kaname felt her heart twist because he had done it again. She was the one who should be apologizing. She knew that she could be petty and selfish and foul-tempered, but Sousuke was a really sweet guy, despite his cluelessness. She usually called him names, but Kurz was right. She was the idiot today, and he deserved to know that much.

She looked him the eyes and shook her head. Then, she leaned over and erased his missive. He frowned, not understanding. Sousuke tried again, spelling out another message on the floor.

I'M WRONG.

She shook her head and smudged away the words with the toe of her boot.

He stared at the floor like she had erased his last happy memory instead of a silly message. Then he knelt and tried again, but she caught his hands and found his eyes. He didn't understand. Why would he? In all their time together, she never had to apologize. He always took the blame. He let her be prideful.

She put her finger to the floor and tried to spell it out for him, but words failed her. How could she explain her heart in a handful of dust?

And he looked so sad.

Kaname swallowed her pride for once and wrapped her arms around his neck.

He softened against her touch, and unlike that day in the hallway at school when she had cried on his chest, Sousuke didn't hesitate to hold her back. She stepped closer, pressing her whole self to him, and he held her there.

After nearly two years of inaction, Kaname almost laughed at how easy it was to be in his arms.

"Kaname." He said her name like a confession and a question.

"It's okay," she whispered back, and his head dropped into the bend of her neck.

She closed her eyes and breathed into him.

"It's so sweet. I think I'm going to be sick," Melissa's voice cut into the perfect moment.

Sousuke pulled away so fast that Kaname nearly toppled over.

"You guys are so busted," grinned Kurz.

Kaname felt her face go hot. "Speak for yourself," she huffed, and it was Melissa's turn to flush.

"Sergenat Sagara, I need a word with you," she barked and marched back through the boxes with a rigid Sousuke following a step behind.

"Mel, wait!" Kurz called after her, but she disappeared around the corner without so much as a backwards glance. Kurz kicked at the dust. "Shit. There she goes."

"She'll be back," Kaname chimed in.

Kurz seemed to cough. She thought the dust had gotten to him, so when she looked over to him, she didn't expect to see tears in the corners of his eyes. He managed a weak smile.

"Ever hear of fraternization? We can't even ask you and Sousuke to cover for us without getting you in trouble, too." Kurz rubbed at his eyes. "Nope. That's the end of my time with the best woman in the world- no offense to you, Angel."

Kaname's temper finally snapped. It had been a trying day, and damn it all, someone deserved to be happy at the end of it.

"You love her, right?" she roared.

'What does it matter?" Kurz shook his head. "That girl is gone gone gone."

"If you love her, you're going to get her!" Kaname proclaimed. "I have a plan."

She grabbed Kurz by the elbow and dragged him after her.


	12. Quarters

Melissa Mao paused outside the door to Tessa's quarters on Merida Island and regretted that she had forgotten to brush her teeth that morning. Come to think of it, she could use a shower and a change of clothes, too.

After the mutual bust at the warehouse, she had come clean about Kurz to Sousuke. As her teammate and friend, he deserved the truth and an apology. Considering the situation, Sousuke had handled it well. Melissa could thank Kaname's embrace for that. At the end, he agreed to avoid Tessa for a few days because Melissa couldn't ask him to cover for her and Kurz. Although Sousuke wasn't the type to volunteer information like a neighborhood bitty, she didn't want to take any chances. Tessa needed to know, and Melissa wanted to be the one to tell her.

Of course, ratting yourself out to your captain and surrogate little sister is much simpler in theory than practice, so Melissa had built up her courage with a case of beer at a friend's private cottage on the north side of the island. She told herself that she needed a couple days and a neutral place to get her head back on straight, but it didn't hurt that a certain sniper wouldn't know to look for her there either.

Melissa took some sick pride in her terrible way with good-byes.

She had sent word to Tessa the night before, requesting a meeting in the morning. In retrospect, she should have asked for something later in the day. The hangover felt like hell, but it didn't matter. Telling Tessa would suck hard-- headache or not.

At least Melissa had given the girl a heads-up about the bad news. Tessa would know something was wrong even before Melissa could say "Hey". The young captain had offered a key to her rooms to Melissa over two years ago for the expressed purpose of taking the formality off their friendly visits. By sending word in advance, Melissa had telegraphed that something wasn't right.

Melissa ran her tongue over her teeth in a futile effort to wipe off the sticky taste of sleep before slipping the key into the lock and letting herself in. It was much too bright in the hall for her post-bender eyes.

"I'm here," she announced, pausing to kick off her boots. Tessa had taken up the Japanese custom of leaving footwear at the entry, and Melissa thought she could try to do one nice thing today for her captain today. She padded into the kitchen in her socks.

"That smells like coffee, so you are officially a doll," she offered as she rounded the corner.

"Odd compliment, but I'll take it."

Melissa forgot to breathe when she realized that it was Kurz, not Tessa, at the small kitchenette table. He had cut off his long hair and ran a hand through it self-consciously as she stared.

"Is it that bad?" he grinned. Melissa noted that he forced the smile.

"Weber, where's Tessa?"

He took a sip of the coffee and offered her a seat. More specifically, he kicked a chair out from under the table and tipped his head toward it. Reluctantly, Melissa plopped down across from her former lover and dumped some milk into her mug of coffee.

"Tessa is having breakfast with Sousuke and Kaname," he replied.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on, or do I have to guess?" she griped.

"Here's the deal, Mel," he started. He set down his mug and held out his hands, like a poker player showing his hand. "I'm going to put it all out there."

"You told Tessa," Melissa interrupted as the pieces snapped into place through the brain fog of her bad morning. "Goddamn, Kurz."

"Don't get mad just yet. Hear me out," he said.

Melissa rolled her eyes. It was too early for serious Kurz.

Outside, a gull cried as the wind picked up. Heavy clouds blotted out the sun, and it looked like the rain would roll in at any moment.

Melissa leaned back, put her feet up on the table, and gulped her coffee. It was a rich, bold blend-- her favorite kind. It only lacked some Irish whiskey.

"So talk," she grumbled.

"I got a promotion and a transfer," he said flatly.

Melissa tapped her foot against the laminate table as she processed the new information.

"To what and where?"

"Sergeant Major. The new Indian Ocean SRT unit. They are re-building and offered me the chance to move up," he answered.

Melissa couldn't stand the way he was watching her.

"Congrats. Good for you," she said dismissively as she turned her eyes back to the window. The wind tossed around the trees, but the rain was waiting for a grand entrance.

"I'm sorry that I told Tessa. She asked if why I was leaving the Tuatha De Danaan when I brought her the transfer forms, and I didn't want to lie to the girl."

"How sweet," Melissa sneered.

Kurz slammed down his empty mug on the table that so hard that it shook one of her feet off. She tipped forward and sloshed hot coffee down her front.

"What the hell!" she yelped.

"What is your malfunction, Mel? I'm not the bad guy here," Kurz yelled back.

"No, you're a fucking white knight. Am I supposed to be thanking you for saving my ass or swooning or both?"

The sky broke, and the rain sounded like radio static on the roof. Melissa took the moment to drain her cup before using Tessa's pristine, white cloth napkins to mop up the mess on her shirt.

"You could have told me before you signed yourself away," she said in a low voice as she worked at the stain. "Christ. I thought we were _friends_."

That word hung in the air because it was a lie. They were friends. Before San Miguel. Before she kissed him and made everything complicated. She had no idea what they were now. She sniffed hard and reminded herself that Melissa Mao never cries.

"I'm sorry," he said at last.

"Don't. I didn't think it would go this far, you know?" Melissa rubbed her nose. "What the hell was I thinking? God, this sucks."

She turned to him when he reached across the table, took her hand, and pressed a kiss into her wrist. He breathed his words into her palm. "I'm in love with you."

Melissa's mind went blank, but her hand balled into a fist reflexively. As the moment lengthened into awkwardness, she blurted out the first thing that she could think to say. "Shit."

He didn't react right away, and Melissa hoped that maybe, just maybe, he hadn't heard her. Then, he got up without a word and escaped with their empty mugs to the kitchen. Melissa could barely hear the water from the faucet over the rain. A mad impulse tried to talk her into making a break for the door, but she couldn't. This was Kurz, not some random one-night stand, and Melissa could count her true friends on one hand.

She got out of the chair and went after him.

"I didn't mean it like that," she apologized to his back.

He set the mugs on the counter to dry but wouldn't look at her. She had really screwed up this time.

"Yeah. Well, unless you're going to say that you love me too, it doesn't really matter," he muttered.

"You're not in the love with me," she tried.

He turned to her with a shrug.

"Yeah, I am. Crazy bad in love, babe," he attempted to joke.

"You got the crazy part right," she muttered. "I can't believe you volunteered to re-build a unit. That'll be a serious time-suck."

"It won't be all bad. Maybe I'll be too busy to think about the girl who shot me down."

His voice cracked a little on the last word, and Melissa finally accepted that he wasn't kidding around. She had been hoping it was just a prank. Melissa mirrored his position, arms crossed, eyes averted, and leaning against the laminate counter, so they were shoulder to shoulder.

"I think I need some time," she started to explain.

"Time, huh. You got another offer to consider?" he complained, and Melissa felt no remorse when she slugged him in the side.

"I've let one guy touch me in the past five years, you moron. You! Do you have any idea what that means? Do you?" she raged.

Kurz let her hit him a few more times before stopping her by touching her cheek, and Melissa realized that she was crying. It felt like waking up to discover that an extra arm had sprouted in the night- surreal and horrible. He opened his mouth to say something, but she beat him to it.

"I care so much about you, you worthless jerk. I just need some time to figure out what that means. So don't accuse me of looking around. I wasn't even looking for you in the first place, and you...you..."

He looked so heartbroken that she couldn't help it. She kissed him and regretted it immediately because he started to break down right there in her arms. Misplaced kindness hurts as much as cruelty.

She had watched friends die, and yet Melissa Mao had never felt so helpless or so shitty for what she was doing to Kurz Weber. She could only hold him and repeat "I'm sorry" until he got it together enough to push her away.

"Go make up you mind, Mel," he croaked. "Try to hurry, okay?"

"I like the haircut," she blurted out, and then ran.

* * *

The downpour caught Kaname by surprise, but Tessa had thought to bring an umbrella. As they left the officer's club, she offered to share it with him, but Kaname's scowl warned Sousuke off. After a brief tussle, Sousuke pushed the fiery-tempered girl under the umbrella's wide brim with Tessa and insisted on walking in the rain. It soaked through his jumpsuit in the short distance from the eatery to Tessa's flat, but it was a small price to pay to keep the girls from squabbling. Somehow, _he_ always ended up the big loser in _their_ fights.

Despite his misgivings about dining with both girls, Kaname and the captain behaved all through breakfast, catching up and chatting the way that girls do. Perhaps the distinguished company of Mithril's high-ranking commanders kept Tessa's flirtations in check, or maybe Bear's demanding training schedule had made Kaname too tired to take offense. Either way, Sousuke enjoyed the good quality of the food in relative peace. They never served eggs benedict in the mess hall.

"We should make a lot of noise before we go in," Kaname said when they reached Tessa's door.

"Why?" the young captain asked. Her furrowed brows shot up when she caught Kaname's meaning. "They wouldn't!"

Kaname laughed wickedly, gave the key another jangle in the lock, and opened the door. They paused in the entry way to remove their footwear. Sousuke noted the absence of any boots and hoped the Melissa and Kurz were long gone. While he had adjusted to the thought of his friends as a couple in the past two days, Sousuke harbored no desire to catch them in the act again.

Tessa got her simple, low-heeled pumps off first.

"Wait here while I get you a towel," she told him while Kaname yanked off her boots and followed after her. Sousuke remained by the front door, dripping.

"Mr. Weber?" Tessa's voice floated back to him. "What happened?"

"Crash and burn, Madame Captain," Kurz reported. "So now that I'm back on the market, if either of you ladies..."

The voices dissolved into murmurings, and Sousuke couldn't catch the words, only the tone. It seemed Kaname's plan had failed. He thought about joining them, but the ring of rainwater pooling on the floor around his feet reminded him that he ought to wait for the promised towel. After a few minutes, he decided to take off his boots to kill time. Then, he checked the small coat closet for something suitable to use to dry off and noted Kurz's boots inside; his friend had probably hid them there to avoid tipping off Mao. The sound of the closet door closing must have reminded Tessa about him because she turned up soon after with a bath towel and an apology at the ready. Sousuke wiped away what moisture he could and made a mental note to avoid sitting down.

"But she didn't say no?" Kaname was pressing Kurz as Sousuke joined them in the living room.

The girls had taken up position on either side of Kurz on the sofa as if they served as the sniper's twin guardians. The German looked like he could use the protection. Gone was Kurz's easy grin and flirtations. His red-rimmed eyes and slumped shoulders made him seem far older than his twenty-one years.

"Yeah, but don't get your hopes up. She's just letting me down easy," Kurz argued.

"You don't know that," Tessa replied as she patted him arm. "She might be telling the truth."

"Yeah," Kaname agreed. "I mean, if she meant no, she would have said so."

Kaname gave Sousuke that demanding look of hers, so he guessed that she wanted him to support her conclusion for Kurz's sake.

"Agreed. Mao says what she thinks," he stated.

Kurz shook his head. "She didn't say that she loves me."

"Give her time," Tessa comforted him.

"No offense, Captain, but I don't see how that will help. I took a chance, and she shot me down."

"So what? You're just giving up?" Kaname said, her voice rising with each word.

"What else am I supposed to do?" Kurz shrugged. "Wait around, all hopeful, for her to finish me off?"

"You're supposed to be proud, you idiot!" Kaname snapped. "You had the guts to tell her that you loved her. You asked for a promotion and took that transfer, so you could be together if she said yes. You did it all for her. You-- you-- you cut your hair!"

"She did say she liked the hair," Kurz remembered.

"You look very handsome," Tessa was quick to add.

"You do!" Kaname continued, her voice as loud as ever. "So what if it didn't go the best? You were honest and brave, and you tried!"

"I know, Angel. I'm not knocking your plan," Kurz sighed. "But maybe I shouldn't have said anything, you know?"

The sniper looked like he might break down again. Tessa and Kaname shared a panicked look. They seemed to have run out of options, and then Sousuke found himself speaking. "You showed Mao respect by letting her know how you feel. If it's true that actions speak louder than words, then you told her that you love her but your actions proved that you honor her as well. "

"At least I've got that going for me," Kurz groaned, but Sousuke noted that his friend no longer looked so desperate.

Kaname wrapped an arm around the sniper's shoulders. "I know it's bad now, but I think she'll come around. I mean, I saw how she was kissed you," she recalled.

"You care to show the captain a re-enactment?" Kurz dead-panned.

Instead of raging, Kaname laughed and threw her arms around Kurz. "That's the spirit!"

Sousuke swallowed back the bitter thing that rose in this throat at her words.

Kurz managed a grin as he hugged her back and said, "Keep those compliments coming, ladies. My ego is in critical condition. Tessa, feel free to tell me how 'handsome' I am a few dozen more times. Hang on while I get a tape recorder..."

They might have stayed all morning, but Kaname and Sousuke were due to join Aristo, Dibs, and Del for a First Years' meeting with Auntie. After the final test, the roles of their instructors evolved. Now, Bear was the one to push their limits with challenges, albeit the stakes were much lower without the threat of sudden death elimination on a scoreboard. They still called the Senegalian 'Bear' for the most part, although Sousuke stuck with 'Zio' out of respect and Aristo settled on 'Papa Bear'.

True to her word, Auntie's new role was much closer to advocate and adviser. She managed their schedules and set up special events, such as one-on-one QA sessions with high ranking personal. She also tracked their progress, and at the start of their second year, her ruling would be the final word on their area of concentration at MCA. Her primary role in the meantime seemed to protect them from burn-out. Her weekly meetings with the group focused on their well-being and conflict resolution. Sousuke looked forward to it, so he didn't understand why Kaname was dragging her feet on the way to Building D.

"We are running the risk of being late if we don't hurry," he prompted her.

Kaname nodded absently and followed him, but her gaze kept drifting up. The fragments of dark clouds scurried across the blue canopy, driven the high winds left behind by the sudden storm. She held out her hands to catch the breeze.

"Hey, did you mean what you said about honor back there?" she asked, her eyes still on the sky. "You weren't just saying it to make Kurz feel better?"

Sousuke considered the question. "I was trying to help Kurz, but yes, I think he honored Mao by telling her the truth," he answered frankly.

Kaname frowned for a fraction of a moment and then cackled that odd laugh of hers, the one that didn't sound quite natural.

"Who would have thought that Kurz could be such a respectable guy? Anyways, look at the time! We don't want to anger Auntie! Let's get a move-on, Sergeant Slow Poke."

Sousuke watched as she marched ahead of him, her long hair streaming out behind her, and thought about honor and love.

He didn't know the rest of the details yet, but he needed to ask Del for a favor. The plan that was forming in the corners of his mind wouldn't work at all without her help.


	13. Dorm

Kaname twisted her hair into a long rope, wound it into a pile, and jabbed a pencil through the damp mass to hold it in place. While she enjoyed the coolness of a wet head of hair on a hot night, it kept dripping on the stack of reports and smudging the ink.

She shook the report over the tiny trash can by her desk and settled back into her small desk to finish the analysis. That was one of the major differences between high school and MCA; she synthesized information from primary sources instead of memorizing facts from textbooks now. She only wished the former weren't so deadly dry. She had trouble keeping her eyes open even though the sun had just gone down. Then again, she doubted that she would be able to sleep much on such a stagnant and humid night, and Del would stay up finishing her reading. The light would be bothersome, so Kaname didn't really have a choice. Work came first.

The strong breezes of the morning had burned away as the day turned hot, and the humidity soared with the temperature. As if to torment them, Bear made them drill calisthenics after Auntie released them from the group meeting, so the First Years returned to their dorms in sour moods in the late afternoon. Kaname was grateful that Sousuke asked to speak with Del for a moment, so she could hop in their tiny shower first. After sharing living space with so many guys for two weeks, bathing in peace and privacy felt luxurious, and she needed the mood boost after the morning's drama with Mao and the long day of drills after that.

Kaname was midway through the pile of reports on the demolition of the Indian Ocean SRT unit when she recognized Sousuke's polite knock on their screen door and felt a wave of relief. He could plow through a thick stack of Mithril's densest, driest reports in record time, so he would drop by and tutor her through the more difficult parts of her assignments. That was another difference from high school; all assignments were personalized. She didn't like to think about the most obvious change. At MCA, she needed Sousuke's help far more than he needed hers.

Del liked to jump in with her take on Kaname's assignments, and Kaname learned the most from Sousuke and Del's occasional disagreements over interpretation. She looked forward to their polite arguments, so when she pushed back from the desk and noticed Del shoving her work into a file folder, Kaname frowned.

"Hey, you don't have to go anywhere," said Kaname as Del tucked the folder under her arm and went to the door to let Sousuke in.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure you don't mean that," Del replied with a knowing grin. She thumped Sousuke on the shoulder as she passed him on her way out. "She's all yours, ace. One hour."

The screen door slammed itself closed behind her, leaving Kaname alone with Sousuke. He wore MCA's casual clothes- grey slacks and a white jersey shirt with the ever present boots. Like her, his hair was still damp from the shower, and he looked like he was about to be reprimanded by the notoriously hard-nosed Mardukas- posture stiff, gaze blank, nervous- instead of on a casual visit to a friend.

"What's going on?" asked Kaname, at once hopeful because he wanted to be alone with her, which meant everything could change. Still, she didn't dare to assume. She'd been so sure about her plan for Melissa and Kurz until that morning, and one disaster seemed like plenty for the day.

"I have something to say to you," reported Sousuke.

"At ease, dude! She's not you commanding officer!" Dibs hollered from the hall.

"Not yet anyways," snickered Aristo.

"Shut up!" roared Del.

Kaname watched as her roommate hauled away the two peeping toms. She gave a look of exasperation as she passed by the screen door. "Sorry kids. I'm taking these jerks to the Building D for now. So...umm...Carry on!"

"Carry on!" mimicked Dibs in a high-pitched voice. "Ow! That hurt!"

"You deserved it!" shot back Del.

Aristo started warbling a sappy ballad in Greek over the growing argument between the others. Sousuke looked mournfully at the solid wooden door, and for once, Kaname knew whet he was thinking. It would be better if they could shut out the world for a minute, but Mithril's dorms had rules. No closed doors in mixed company. The screen would have to suffice.

Sousuke waited until the voices of their friends disappeared before turning back to Kaname. She held her breath when he opened his mouth.

And then closed it again.

Kaname heaved a disappointed sigh as a bead of sweat ran from his temple to his chin.

Sousuke noted her gaze hardening. He cleared his throat and tried again.

"I..." he got out before his jaw snapped closed again like the spring-loaded screen door.

Kaname crossed her arms. "Well?" she prodded.

Sousuke swallowed hard. "I apologize," he stammered. "I want to say that I...you..."

All sound died in his throat although he was choking on the words.

His jaw clicked shut again.

Kaname's foot tapped out her impatience. This was getting ridiculous.

"If you have something to say, just say it!" she scolded. Her dreams of a romantic, heart-felt confession were dissolving into a sweaty, stammering nightmare.

"I apologize," Sousuke repeated as his face turned an odd shade of green, like he might puke out his declaration along with the mess hall's taco lunch.

"Did you come by just to apologize?" Kaname ground out.

"No. I...I'm sorry," he muttered again and then his eyes went wide as he realized his blunder, anticipating an assault that Kaname was all too tempted to deliver. Instead, she snatched up the nearest report and waved it around.

"If that's all you are going to say, then go away. I've got work to do!" she huffed.

Sousuke blinked- his muted version of registering shock.

"I didn't know that this was a bad time," he sputtered.

Kaname felt a terrible surge of triumph at his discomfort.

"Well, it is," she scolded. "You should have thought about that before got the bright idea to bother me!"

Her heart lurched as his shoulders went slack under the weight of her reprimand, but her pride strangled her rising apology. If he wanted to tell her something important, he ought to have the sense to do it right, she reasoned to herself. She deserved something more polished, something eloquent.

Sousuke looked down at his feet in shame. A drop of sweat fell from his brow and bounced off his right boot as if to prove Kaname's point.

"You're right," he said in a low voice. "I'll go."

In that moment, Kaname remembered Kurz's advice. _You gotta decide what is more important: being right or being with Sousuke._

"Wait," she blurted out before her pride could silence her. "Sousuke, wait."

He had already turned to leave when her words arrested him, his face frozen in profile between her and the door. She could hear her own pulse over the hum of the night when he exhaled and lifted his head.

"I need to say this. Can you just listen?" he asked evenly.

Kaname nodded and then realized that he wouldn't see it because he wasn't looking at her. He saved her from a long search for her voice by taking her silence as assent.

"I know that I cause trouble for you," he started and then paused while his mind worked to provide the right words. "I know what I'm not."

Kaname's chest felt squeezed too tight because she knew that she never missed on opportunity to remind him of everything that he failed to do and be. The paper fan. The nasty names. Kaname lashed out at him because she liked him too much, and she didn't want to accept that he was awkward and, well, _weird_, even on the best of days. She used to wish that she could use her strong will to mold him into something less _wrong_, someone more like the universal ideal. Kurz had her nailed. She really did need to be right all of the time, but Kaname didn't want to be so immature anymore. If Sousuke was going to say what she wanted him to say, Kaname realized that she had to change.

"I know what I'm not," Sousuke repeated slowly. "But I keep hoping that I'm enough for you. Because that's what I want. To be with you."

He turned to face her with that all-trusting openness that Kaname treasured because he only showed it to her.

"I want to be with you," he said again.

Kaname waited for a long moment because she wasn't sure that he was finished and she wasn't sure what she should say.

"Okay," she said at last and then winced because it sounded so _dumb_, but it didn't matter that she couldn't say something beautiful. It didn't matter that he took the first step toward her or that it was her arms that reached for him. It didn't matter at all because he was holding her so tightly that her toes barely touched the floor and they were kissing, really kissing, at last.

* * *

The single bed was narrow, but they fit, nose to nose, with her hand in his hair and his on her hip. There would come a time, maybe soon, when their clothes would be on the floor and they would be under the covers, but tonight, neither of them was ready. For the moment, they needed only the smallest movement to kiss again, and they tested that distance often while they whispered to each other. Kaname found many things to say to Sousuke now that the biggest, unavoidable thing was out of the way.

She started with "I like this" as soon as she could catch her breath, and when he kissed her again, she didn't think to speak again for long time because it hurt a little too much to be so utterly glad.

Eventually, the thought of his kisses made her pull away to find his eyes.

"I won't share you," she half-threatened. Her hand fisted into his hair.

"I only want you," he promised. His hand wrapped around her elbow as if she might slip away. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," she answered quickly because he looked honestly afraid. "I'll tell the others."

She smiled at the thought of going public with their relationship. Maybe when everyone knew, it would feel less unreal.

Sousuke nodded. "Del knows."

"Auntie and Bear," Kaname thought aloud.

"Tomorrow," Sousuke agreed.

"Melissa and Kurz can wait," she went on. Sousuke's hand slipped across her shoulder and pulled her closer, so she understood that he found the courage to tell her because Kurz told Melissa. It seemed so unfair that her meddling plan had really only benefited her.

She thought that Sousuke's next kiss was to comfort her until he pulled away and spoke.

"I'll tell Tessa," he said softly, and Kaname sat upright like he had propositioned her.

"She doesn't need to know," she seethed.

Sousuke followed her up, fear written across his face, but he held his ground.

"Kaname, she's our friend," he reasoned.

"I don't care! You know how she feels about you!"

"I know," Sousuke admitted miserably. "But I need to tell her."

"So write her a report!"

Instead of answering, Sousuke slid over to join her on the edge of the bed and picked up Kaname's hand. As he threaded his fingers with hers, Kaname took a deep breath and remembered what she wanted.

"Fine," she said, biting back her pride, "but she's not going to like it."

"The decision isn't hers," Sousuke said firmly.

Kaname leaned into his shoulder and pulled his hand into her lap. Even though theirs were about the same length- Kaname had always loved her long, tapered fingers- Sousuke's hand dwarfed hers. Back in Tokyo, she spent many long walks home after school wishing that he would take her hand in his. Sometimes, the dying rays of sun would light the street just _so_, and that moment before twilight took over was so perfect that she dared to brush her fingertips along his knuckles, hoping that he would take the hint. Her stupid pride wouldn't let her make the first move.

He jerked it away when the screen door thumped as the wind picked up. It sounded like a distance gunshot or Del returning ahead of the rain. It was the season for storms.

"They'll be back soon," said Sousuke.

He stood maybe a meter away from her, his face to the door and his back straight. The room she shared with Del wasn't large, maybe fifteen feet across at most with two single beds, two desks, and two wardrobes along the walls, but Kaname hated every inch of the distance between them.

The words burst out before she could think. "Tell me that she can't change your mind."

Sousuke came to her, knelt before her. He didn't need to ask who 'she' was.

"She can't," he swore.

"Why?" demanded Kaname.

"Because she's not you."

Kaname had melted into him once again when the half-stifled sob came in from the hallway. She and Sousuke looked up at the same time and saw Teletha Testarossa through the screen door with hot tears pouring down her lovely face.

"Madame Captain!" Sousuke cried out, and poor Tessa whimpered as she sank to the ground at his words. Her delicate, white sundress fluttered down with her.

Kaname wasn't angry that he raced to the petite girl's aid because she was right behind him.

"Tessa, I'm sorry," he got out before she smacked his hand away.

"No, you're not! I hate you, Sousuke Sagara! I hate you both!" Tessa screamed before she pulled her legs to her chest and wept into her knees. She was wearing her hair down, for once, and it was longer and curlier than Kaname expected. As much as Kaname hated to admit it, Tessa was beautiful, even while sobbing.

Sousuke extended a hand to Tessa again but withdrew it without making contact with the girl's heaving shoulders.

"What am I supposed to do?" he whispered to Kaname. He looked so helpless that Kaname she could only shake her head and touch his elbow.

"Let me," she said in a low voice. "Just go, okay?"

Sousuke nodded, but he looked back twice as he walked down the hall to his room. When he closed the door behind him, Kaname sat down beside her friend and sometimes rival. At least Tessa was the type to bawl instead of throw things. If Kaname had been the one in the doorway looking in, half of the dorm would be at the very least disheveled and everything in it half-broken by now.

"He wanted to tell you tomorrow," Kaname began. "We hadn't...before tonight. I mean, he just told me."

Tessa wailed softly. "All that he said about honor to Mr. Weber... I thought he was talking to me," she wept. "I was going to tell him."

"I'm sorry," Kaname whispered.

Tessa's head snapped up.

"No, you're not! You _took_ him from me," she cried.

"I didn't-"

"Yes, you did! And you_ hit_ him!"

"Only when he deserves it!" protested Kaname hotly and then grimaced. Her lame excuse sounded a lot less like the logic of an abusive spouse in her head.

"You call him names," Tessa shot back."And you don't- YOU DON'T- deserve him!"

Tessa drew back her tiny fist, but it came undone as it flew towards Kaname. Tessa toppled over and threw her thin arms around the other girl. Kaname hugged her back and cried too because, in the end, they were friends first and rivals miles after.

"It should have been me," Tessa sobbed into Kaname's jumpsuit. "Why wasn't it me?"

"I don't know," Kaname answered truthfully. She wasn't blind to the stark contrast between them. The pencil had fallen out of her make-shift bun, and her long, damp hair hung in stringy ribbons. Tessa's hair, in contrast, looked gorgeous- all silver and sparkle in in the lamplight. Kaname in her baggy, standard-issue casual uniform. Tessa in her eyelet cotton summer dress. The hothead. The soft-spoken. The demanding girl and the commanding officer.

"You know, Tessa, I don't really have him," Kaname admitted. "Not all of him."

"Don't be stupid," sniffed Tessa. She had run out of tears, but her grief had not abated. That would take much, much more time.

"You know you're his captain," said Kaname, as if that explained it all.

"So?"

"So, you have him first, you know?" Kaname went on softly. "You say the word, and he leaves me help you go fight somewhere. You give the order, and he dies."

"I wouldn't!" Tessa looked up, alarmed. "You know how I take care of my crew!"

"I know you do. They all kinda love you, too," Kaname swiped at her nose with her sleeve. "But Sousuke's yours first, and there's not really anything I can do about it."

"I would never hurt him," Tessa half-sobbed. "I love him. I love all of them."

"Me, too," Kaname sighed.

The wind pushed past them and swept the rain in. Kaname tightened her arm around her friend as the first drops hit her face. All the rooms in the dorms opened to the outside like a motel, and the thin metal awning over their heads couldn't hold the driving rain off for long. Kaname looked past Tessa's shoulder to scan the darkness for Del and the guys. They would come racing home, whooping, at any moment, but Kaname couldn't see that far into the rain. When Kaname dropped her eyes, she noticed it propped against the wall by the door.

Of course, Tessa remembered to bring an umbrella.

"I don't know why it wasn't you. I really don't," Kaname confessed.

In a few minutes, the storm would drench them both.


	14. Belize

The trick to heavy drinking and problem avoidance is balance. Too little alcohol and your mind refuses to power down. Too much and you can't stay asleep. You lie there and half-dream about the things you were trying to avoid.

When Kurz half-dreams after the Urzu guys take him out drinking, he dreams of Melissa Mao, mostly unclothed and sweaty in his arms.

He didn't mean to let it go that way. He didn't want to think about her at all, and so Kurz measured his pace at the bar with practiced precision to achieve that happy balance. But then the guys turned up.

"Closeau sends his best," Hummer said as he slid the pint of lager in front of Kurz. "That's from him. The next is on me."

Kurz put on his best grin. "I can't believe that you guys found out so fast. Who leaked?"

"The usual pipes," replied Hummer, settling on the bar stool next to him.

"It's the least we can do to show you that you'll be missed, Urzu-traitor," Yang added, taking the seat on Kurz's other side. "The rest of the team will be here soon."

"Yeah, except Mao. Can't find that bitch anywhere. Pity, too. I want to see her flip when she finds out that she has to replace you," Hummer lamented into his rum and coke.

"I already told her," Kurz muttered.

"Nice. And you're still in one piece? She must really like you," Yang commented. He pulled out a pack of Taiwanese cigarettes and offered them around. Kurz helped himself.

"Maybe you got a chance with her now," teased Hummer. He flicked out his zippo and took a hard pull on his smoke.

"Not likely," Kurz said wryly.

Hummer smacked him on the shoulder. "Aw, lighten up! We're only messing with you. Don't look now, but that redhead is making eyes. Who would have thought that under all that hair, you might actually be attractive to a lady."

Most of the other members of the Urzu team showed up, one by one, and they bought Kurz round after round. Even Sousuke made an appearance and ordered juice, just like old times, but he looked a little rattled and didn't stay long. Kurz couldn't blame him. It had been a weird day.

It got late; they got sloppy. The redhead's friends, a bunch of decent-looking Islanders from R&D and the hospital, joined the SRT men, and the big group claimed the spacious corner booth. Hummer and Spec thought it was hilarious to get the girls to dance with Kurz. They must have been right about the hair because more than one of the ladies gave Kurz that hooded-eye look of invitation on the dance floor, and on a dare, the redhead stood on the table and wriggled out of her bra without removing her shirt before tossing the scrap of lace and nylon into his lap.

She was easy on the eyes- full hips, nice chest, and a sweet face- and a bit of a wildcat. On another night, Kurz would have followed her home, but she couldn't toss back a brew like Melissa. She was one of those fruity drink girls, and she giggled at everything. Once Kurz noticed her habit, he couldn't stop himself from getting annoyed at how anything, funny or not, would send her into a giggle fit. He missed the way Melissa would throw back her head and laugh with her whole body.

After that, everything the redhead _wasn't _just made him miss Melissa even more. Luckily, the guys made sure that he got so wasted that he didn't need to feign illness to avoid hurting the girl's feelings. She gave him a wink and a bit of a wistful look when Hummer and Spec hauled his drunk ass back to the sleeping quarters in the early morning hours.

The company of friends and laughter had made the ache in his chest feel far away, like he could hold it at arm's length and study it impartially, but the hurt returned in full force, all at once like a punch to the gut, as he lay on the hard bunk. Kurz barely made it to washroom before retching into the sink. Melissa's memory followed him back to bed and curled up beside him. He couldn't be sure when he slept because she filled both his drink-addled thoughts and his fitful dreams.

Someone knocked on the door around 0800, and since Kurz was awake enough, he got up, pulled on some clothes, and answered it before the uninvited visitor could disturb his roommates. The whole unit was scheduled for an off day, so it seemed odd that anyone would drop by so early. The flicker of hope that reason couldn't smother glowed with anticipation as he unbolted the latch and tugged the door free from the badly planed frame.

_Please, let it be her._

He took the morning's sunshine full in the face, so he could squint to hide his disappointment when he recognized the visitor.

Tessa tugged on her braid and looked so much like a lost little girl that Kurz knew something had gone wrong for the young captain.

"Good morning, Mr. Weber. I am sorry to wake you on your day off, but I was wondering. Do you know where I can find Melissa?"

Kurz pulled the door closed behind him to keep the conversation private from the other guys. The cool morning air felt wonderful on his forehead and exposed arms. Some more air, a jug of water, and a little coffee would cure his hangover nicely.

"I was kind of hoping that you could tell me," he shrugged. "I ship out tomorrow, you know."

"I know," Tessa said softly. "If you see Melissa, will you tell her that I'm looking for her?"

She sniffled a little at the end, and Kurz put the clues together.

"Tessa, did something happen?" he asked.

Fresh tears leaked from her pale eyes.

"I-It's n-nothing...," she half-sobbed. Tessa dug around in her handbag and pulled out a lace-edged handkerchief to dab at her eyes. "P-please, just tell M-melissa that I'm looking for her."

Kurz sighed and looked up at the cloudless sky. He would bet a month's combat pay that Tessa's tears had something to do with Sousuke and Kaname. It seemed like heartbreak was going around.

"Look, Tessa, if Mel doesn't want to be found, we're not going to find her. We can talk over breakfast, if you want," he offered.

Tessa stiffened. "It would look highly inappropriate if we were to be seen together and alone at this hour. People would talk."

"Screw 'em," Kurz shrugged. "If anyone asks, you're just a kind commander saying good-bye to one of her finest."

He started toward the officer's club. He and Tessa weren't close, possibly because he tried to steal her panties once or twice. Usually, Melissa would kick him out of the room when Tessa was upset, but with Melissa in hiding and probable drama with Kaname and Sousuke, Kurz knew that Tessa was short on friends. The girl sure looked like she needed one. Besides, she had supported him the day before with his problems.

"C'mon. I heard they serve eggs benedict," he called over his shoulder.

Tessa managed a wane smile and followed him.

The food at the officer's club tasted as good as Melissa used to brag about. Living on a submarine made Kurz relish the simple things: strong coffee that didn't taste of diesel, eggs that came from a chicken instead a powder, and fresh orange juice. Tessa stuck to scones and tea.

He had guessed correctly about the source of her troubles, but contrary to logic, listening to Tessa bemoan her loss of Sousuke made Kurz feel a little better. Kindness soothes both the giver and receiver.

Sometime after the plates had been cleared, Tessa had to ask why, and Kurz didn't lie to her.

"It really has nothing to do with you," he reasoned. "You know Sousuke. He's so rule-bound that it's a little sad. Remember how long it took for him to stop calling you 'Madame Captain' all the time? You can't expect him to chuck protocol and go after an officer. It just doesn't occur to him."

Tessa stared into her teacup. "You went for Melissa."

"Yeah, and you can see how well that worked out for me," countered Kurz as he reached for the coffee pot. "But even if Sousuke could get over the captain thing, it's not like you get to pick who fall for. It just happens."

"So you didn't pick Melissa?" asked Tessa.

Kurz took his time mixing sugar into his coffee.

Of course, he didn't decide to fall in love with Melissa, but once he did, it made sense. For all his talk about the fairer sex, he needed a woman who could roll with a hard hit and coming up fighting. His way of life was too rough-and-tumble to accommodate anything delicate. A sweet flower of a girl would be crushed when he left her cold to go into battle, when he came back bloodied and missing a few less than vital chunks, when he forgot her birthday but remembered all the battle codes from the past two years. Kurz used to think that he could use a girl to cry over his wounds and worry about his safe return, but he didn't want to be someone's hero anymore. He saved people for a living, and with Melissa, he found a woman who would fight along with him and then shower off the grit of a bad day, bang him senseless, and crack wise about their everyday horrors in the afterglow.

But Tessa didn't need to hear any of that, so he leaned back in his chair and did his best impression of a lady killer.

"Why would I pick that skinny spitfire over a nice girl like you?" he flirted.

Tessa gasped a little, scandalized by his forwardness, but his gamble worked. He threw her off the topic of Melissa. They spent the rest of their time chatting about less weighty things, like the current state of the Indian Ocean Fleet.

They said their farewells on the brief, shared part of their walk back to their respective living quarters. Tessa surprised him by standing on her tiptoes to throw her arms around his neck and hug him goodbye.

"I'm sure she will decide on you," she said with a curt nod as she pulled away.

The lonely flicker of hope in him grew a little at her words, but Kurz mashed it back down.

"Take care of yourself," he said before going his own way.

Halfway to the barracks, he started to kick himself for not saying something more to comfort Tessa. He felt badly that he dodged her question earlier, but Kurz had reached the end of the truth and going into the details would only hurt her.

He couldn't tell her that he understood why Sousuke went for Kaname. Tessa was a great girl, but he wouldn't have picked her either. When the bullets are flying, you would push Tessa behind the nearest dense object and protect her, but you would toss your secondary weapon to a girl like Kaname or Melissa. Sometimes, a guy wanted a girl who could save him, too.

He couldn't tell Tessa that Sousuke would be terrible for her. She couldn't see the real Sousuke's faults for her carefully-constructed dream version of him, and inevitably, Sousuke's bumbling would end up hurting her. Tessa would indulge his oddball habits ("A gas mask? No, of course, I like it. It's fine. I would like anything from you.") whereas Kaname knew how to keep Sousuke to check ("You better get me something normal, like a box of chocolates or something. And I swear, if you pick out something weird like a gas mask, I'll…").

His thoughts took him all the way to his door before he realized that he had nothing to do and sure as hell couldn't sleep after all of that coffee, so he headed to the firing range instead.

For obvious reasons, shooting off a gun of any kind in a submarine is a profoundly stupid idea. The most he could do for practice was take the occasional free shot after a mission and before pick-up, but he could count on Melissa giving him crap about wasting ammo. Only on leave or on base could Kurz truly hone his sniping talents.

An average target range would suffice for handgun practice or even a round or two with an assault weapon. Neither option challenged Kurz, although he might use it in a pinch or as a warm-up. To push his skills, Kurz would get clearance to use one of the furthest combat areas, preferably one with some woody areas or abrupt shifts in topography. The long shots could take upwards of an hour to set up, but the smooth kick of WA 2000 followed by the distant pop of the bullet impact, dead-eye center in a target more than a mile away, felt better than sex, or so he told himself.

Sousuke turned up a little after sunset, and just for kicks, they took a round on artillery field, lovingly nicknamed Powdermonkey Pass, to blow things up. Hanging around Sousuke was easy; they didn't have to talk about anything, especially "feelings". They just enjoyed the twilight and wanton destruction until it got too dark to see the burned-out husks of war machines that served as targets in the field.

"Do you want to stop for a drink?" Sousuke asked as they checked their weapons back into the munition station. Given that Sousuke never drank, Kurz knew that the kid was trying to be supportive. It was no small thing to hang around with your mopey, recently dumped buddy when you could be kissing on your hot, new girlfriend. Sousuke was a good friend.

"Thanks, but I think I learned my lesson last night," Kurz waved him off. He stuck his hands into this pockets and sauntered off with that practiced cool he worked so hard to cultivate. "Give my best to Kaname."

Kurz shipped out the next morning.

Rebuilding a unit was every bit the time-suck that Melissa had warned. Getting together a group of eight competent pilots who filled all of the key skills needed for a Special Response Unit proved more difficult than a jigsaw puzzle. Kurz and his new commander, a sullen captain who laughed at exactly none of Kurz's jokes, drafted round after round of potential teams, but each one was shot down, mostly because skilled pilots were so few that none of the other commanders wanted to let their guys transfer. In addition, Kurz had taken the elite status of the Urzu team for granted; it wasn't hard to fill holes on a successful team with first dibs on new equipment and a base on a fancy submarine. Talking a pilot into joining a recently gutted unit stationed on a older model aircraft carrier took work. Kurz couldn't fault the guys who turned down the offer. He very nearly hated himself for leaving the TDD-1 for those first two weeks; it took that long for him to develop good sea legs. Riding on top of the water was nothing like gliding serenely beneath its surface, and the carrier only offered two things over Tessa's sub: better food and abundant fresh air. Kurz took to spending some time every day above deck to watch the endless water and feel the wind. Paperwork filled his hours during the rest of the day.

In those two weeks, he only got two communications, both from Kaname. In the first, she apologized for her failed plan again and came clean about her and Sousuke. She also confessed that she felt a bit guilty about making it through the initial test at MCA; Wraith did tip her off about what was to come when he told her to not let the bastards grind her down. Did he think she should say something to the instructor? Kurz wrote back that she was fine and not too worry about it. He talked a lot of happy about his new position, on the off chance that Kaname might communicate with Melissa. In Kaname's second note, she babbled on about the work she was doing but couldn't say much without violating the nondisclosure agreement. She didn't mention Melissa. He didn't respond. There wasn't much to say, and it didn't seem right to be pen-pals with your best friend's girl.

Avoiding his inbox had another advantage. When he checked his communication log, he still felt that breathless anticipation and nursed the last dying embers of his hope, thinking that maybe Melissa would reach out to him. She didn't. Every day, it got harder to believe that, deep down, she wanted to be with him, so he stopped looking for a note from her. It was easier to hope in the absence of proof.

When he and his commander locked in six of the eight team members, Kurz caught a transport to Belize to scout for new recruits to fill the remaining two positions.

Kurz hated Belize. If he could detach it from the rest of the Yucatan Peninsula and drown it in the Gulf of Mexico, he would in do it in a heartbeat. He disliked the jungle with its weird sounds and endless parade of bizarre creatures, most of which were poisonous, vicious, or both. He couldn't take the still air and oppressive humidity, but most of all, he dreaded the bugs. Back when he went through Basic, he caught a nasty case of botflies. At first, he thought he had just broken out; his complexion and tropical climates didn't mix. After a week or two, a nurse spotted his condition during a check-up at the clinic. He would never forget the white sheen on the tear-shaped maggots that the medic pulled from his neck.

More than even botflies, Kurz hated Belize because he hated Basic. He almost quit because Basic made him question the legitimacy of Mithril as an organization. The problem was two-fold: the instructors and the other recruits. Back when he and Sousuke came on board, Mithril had a problem with its recruiters. Someone high up in the chain thought (stupidly) that it would be a good idea to hire freelancers to bring in new talent. The plan worked on paper. Mithril could save tons of money if recruiters worked part time for commission. Without travel and full salary expenses, Mithril could (theoretically) get new blood at a fraction of the price. The freelance recruiters were paid a basic reward for each warm body with bumps in pay for hitting target numbers and "bounties" for particularly talented finds. In real life, however, the recruiters just picked up any old gun nut and swamped Mithril with a bunch of functionally illiterate fucktards. Some had little or no training, and these recruits wiped out fast. Most recruits, however, were the washed-out slag from national militaries looking to stay in the business. A few of this type were quite able, having been discharged from regular service for petty infractions or minor "problems" such as myopia or being gay. For every decent discharged solider, however, the freelance recruiters drudged up twenty rifle jockeys, head cases, and sociopaths.

Kurz realized on the transport to Belize that very few of the other recruits should be trusted with a gun, and he regretted letting that snake oil recruiter talk him into joining.

When a training facility is overrun with incompetent dimwits, the instructors need to execute massive damage control. At Basic, the guys in charge tried to weed out all of the idiots as quickly as possible while scooping up anyone with aptitude and shoving him or her into any old open position with little regard to the finer details such as long-term compatibility, upward mobility, or whatever false promise the recruiter might have sworn to uphold to get the applicant to sign on. Kurz's recruiter promised him that he wouldn't end up in an infantry unit, but Kurz realized soon after he arrived in Belize that he could get stuck with any number of undesirable duties if he stood out too much. Disgusted by the whole operation, Kurz wanted out, but sadly, he need the measly compensation that Mithril offered everyone who finished Basic but wasn't offered a contract. He had to get seed money in order to get back to a climate without botflies and hook up with another mercenary group, so he tried to hang out in the middle of the pack- not too idiotic but certainly not "smart" enough to attract the attention of the instructors. Eventually Kurz noticed a few others, like Sousuke, trying to fly under the radar and get the hell out with some dignity.

Kurz only learned one thing at Basic: it's damn near impossible to skate the border between success and failure. He slipped a couple times and did too well. When Melissa Mao showed up and started sniffing through his files, he cornered her in a supply closet and acted the fool to try to avoid a permanent position. Sousuke did much the same, in his own way, but when lives were on the line, they were both forced out of hiding. Luckily, it turned out great for them. Melissa was the first person at Mithril who demonstrated some competence, and she made Kurz rethink his original assessment of the group. In the end, Kurz couldn't have been happier in the Urzu unit, but he still hated Belize with the fire of a thousand suns.

He heard that Mithril changed its freelance recruiter policy since he signed on, and he certainly hoped that the rumors about the new crackerjack recruitment team were true because his unit needed two new guys in a big way.

Kurz did a double take when he signed in the main office. Melissa Mao's name was written in her distinct, tight scrawl four lines above his on the visiting officers' list. Once he stopped to think about it, her presence at Basic made perfect sense. Urzu needed to find a new guy to replace him, and his new unit had first dibs on the experienced candidates. Of course, Closeau would send Mel. She had a natural knack for picking out good soldiers. He and Sousuke were just two examples of her talent for team-building.

He had the whole walk from the office to the visitor's barracks to steel his nerves, but he was in no way prepared to share a room with the only woman that he loved.

The door closed behind him, and even though he could see the gear of at least two other officers on the bunks in the room, he was alone with her for the moment.

She looked a little surprised to see him, but she hid it well.

"Hey," she acknowledged him with a quick jerk of her head.

"Hey," he repeated dumbly.

Melissa finished spraying any exposed part of her skin with DEET-based bug spray and made a unhurried break for the door.

"You need any of this?" she asked, holding up the can.

"Sure," he said. "You know they have botflies around here."

She tossed him the spray before letting herself out without another word, and it felt to Kurz like she took every molecule of oxygen with her when she left. The closing door snuffed out the last yellow lick of his hope's fire.

He didn't break down right away. Kurz claimed a bunk with his stuff and returned to the office to go through the files of potential matches that the resident staff pulled for him. A couple of hours later, he was able to narrow the field to five guys. It was getting dark, so he forced his feet to carry him to the mess hall for supper. The food was terrible, just like he remembered. He tried to eat it anyway, but when Melissa joined him at the otherwise empty table, he pushed away the tray.

"Those your guys?" she asked, pointing to his stack of dossiers. She didn't wait for an answer, just reached over and went through the folder while shoveling food into her mouth.

"Not bad," she concluded after she shut the last manilla file. "What's the rest of the team look like?"

Kurz rattled off the list, and Melissa nodded like she knew most of the names already.

"Okay," she said when he had finished. "I brought a box with me. Let's run these guys through some Lambda driver training tomorrow, see what they can do."

"Aren't we supposed to keep that training to ourselves?" Kurz asked.

"I got special permission to test them out. We won't mention the Lambda thing, so it's above water. Barely." She pushed back from the table. "I'll request a meeting from the office with your guys and mine tomorrow, and then, I'm headed back to sleep."

Kurz nodded, not trusting his voice to speak. He took a long walk along the edge of the jungle before returning to the barracks that night. Seeing her again hurt so much more than he expected.

Maybe it was because she was so close that he could pick up her scent, but that night, Kurz dreamed of Melissa Mao, mostly unclothed and sweaty in his arms. Her head lolls on his shoulder, her lips part, and she whispers his name.

When he woke up, the real Melissa had already left her bunk neatly made.

In the morning, the recruits gathered, and once Kurz explained the basic principles of the Lambda driver training box without mentioning key info like that fact that it's a Lambda driver training box, he demonstrated how to get it to work. Kurz closed his eyes and remembered. The beeps chimed for him as usual.

One by one, the recruits attempted to earn a cheery beep from the black device. Only one of the guys Kurz had scouted got close, but four of Melissa's choices escaped the buzzer. After that, they each did some one-on-one interviews with the potential SRT members. It made for a long day, but Kurz was grateful for the work because his heart felt like lead. She was treating him like a colleague, a damned co-worker and not even a friend. He had lost her for good, and he hated it. At the end, he stayed around to help her pack up, just to twist in the knife. They worked in silence, and when the packing was done, she turned to him and smiled a half-smile.

"You know, I can't get it to work anymore," she said. "That damn box. I could only do it with you."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" It sounded more bitter than he meant, but he didn't regret it. She sagged against a chair and ran her hands through her hair.

"Okay, I deserve that," she said after a moment, but then she slammed her fist into the table. "Screw this!"

She grabbed the box and stormed out.

Kurz wanted to go after her, maybe spin her around and kiss her, but he went to the mess hall even though he wasn't hungry and put off going back to the barrack for as long as possible. When he finally returned to sleep, she had packed up and left, but he found two dossiers on his pillow with a note in her unmistakable scrawl.

"These. Trust me.

-M

P.S. Don't give up on me yet. Please don't."

And just like that, hope flamed up again.

That night, Kurz dreamed. It was the same dream, the vision that he conjures when he practices on the Lambda training box.

Kurz dreamed of Melissa Mao, mostly unclothed and sweaty in his arms.

They are back in the stairwell on the TDD-1, and the crew is in the middle of fighting Gauron. The body of a traitor rolls in the landing below them. The submarine rocks and bucks, and Kurz has one arm locked around the metal railing and the other arm and a leg hooked around Melissa. Her head lolls on his shoulder, her lips part, and she whispers his name. She is not doing well. She added a nasty bump to her already dangerous list of injuries when the submarine lurched earlier, and Kurz had heard one of her ribs crack. She went cold and clammy, and then started dripping sweat. She is in shock. She needs help, but he doesn't dare take her to the medical bay yet. If they are caught in the hallway with nothing to hold onto, he is worried that they'll both get killed. The submarine bucks again, and she is so skinny and slick that she slips out of his arms, tumbling toward the bulkhead. She is goes down headfirst, and if she hits, Melissa will die like the traitor. Kurz lunges for her, screaming her name.

In the past, he managed to snag her wrist and the submarine righted itself. She slammed into him, and he slammed into the stairs. "That's gotta hurt," she muttered into his shirt, and she was right. His back was scored with rows of nasty bruises. He couldn't sit up straight for a week, but in the stairwell, all he cared about was the woman in his arms and that he saved her like she had saved him.

In his dreams, however, she slips through his grasp and falls and falls and falls.

In his dreams, she is just out of reach.


	15. Preparations

A/N: This chapter includes Mexican slang and a dash of Spanish. Really, it doesn't matter if you don't understand the terms. The context should make the gist pretty clear. If you are curious, my translations are included at the end of the chapter.

* * *

Kaname Chidori is many things but stupid is not one of them, so the irony is not lost on her. In Tokyo, Sousuke's presence was a harbinger of chaos and exploded lockers. Now, when he pauses at the door to her room to kiss her goodnight, Sousuke is her ounce of ordinary.

When he had first manifested in her life and, suddenly, she had to cope with splat bullets, giant robots, Chinese assassins, and a permanent, socially backwards escort, Kaname had gotten angry. She blamed Sousuke's oddness for the ever increasing levels of bizarre in her once-average world. She spent a great deal of time and energy trying to rectify her 'problem'. She took him shopping for new clothes. She tutored him in every topic from classical Japanese to Pocky flavors. She tried, really tried, to make him fit into her world because her pride wouldn't accept the sad truth back in Tokyo. Sousuke didn't belong in that world, really, and neither did she. Wraith's wounds were her final clue.

Kaname discovered, almost accidentally, that she had acclimated to the military life of MCA when she received a letter from Kyoko and didn't feel a single stab of homesickness. Kyoko wrote about normal teenage girl things: the difficulty of selecting a major for college, the challenge of going to a different university than Shinji, whether or not she was too old to wear her hair in pigtails and ribbons. Kaname had curled up in her narrow bunk before tearing open the envelope, fully prepared for an upsetting evening, and surprised herself when she didn't feel jealous at all while she read. She did wince a little when she saw that her friend had included pictures from graduation, but the candid shots from the life she left behind did not bother Kaname like she had thought they would. She posted them on the small cork-board over her desk as happy reminders of old friends.

But familiarity and acceptance is not the same thing. The photos made Kaname aware of her comfort with her new world, but she did not fully accept how deeply she had changed until Sousuke presented her with the necklace.

They were returning from a long night's worth of analysis in Building D's study area, and as usual, Sousuke stopped at her door to lean in and kiss her. He wasn't shy about showing her affection, and Kaname took secret joy in how she has had to slap away his roving hands once or twice. Sousuke may be a rare personality, but she adored that he acted like her average, teenage boyfriend in all the ways that count.

Even so, she was a bit startled when Sousuke did a very normal, teenage-boyfriend thing, namely pull out that familiar black jewelry box and start sweating like a criminal under an interrogation lamp.

"I took the liberty of having the chain repaired and resetting the transmitter," he explained as he opened the box. "I hope that it doesn't bring back bad memories."

Kaname looked down to see that same gold circular necklace that he gave her back in Tokyo, and in typical Kaname fashion, she said the first thought that popped into her head. "_That is so impractical."_

Sousuke blinked. "I thought that you liked it."

She was quick to kiss away any bruises to his ego.

"No, I do like it. I really do. But it doesn't really work here," she tried to explain. The necklace would be perfect for the college freshman in a large city, but Kaname left behind that version of herself when she signed the contract with Mithril.

Sousuke's brows knitted together as he tried to make sense of her reaction.

"I don't understand. You like many impractical things," he said.

"I do not!" she snapped before catching herself. Taking a moment, Kaname pushed out all the air in her lungs and quelled her rising temper, practicing a basic meditation technique that Bear showed her for just such occasions. She tried again. "You know Mithril's policy on jewelry. I won't have lots of chances to wear something so nice."

"You would prefer an item better suited for everyday use," Sousuke observed.

"Yeah," she agreed. A sudden thought darkened her features. "But something personal, not a weapon."

"A concealed handgun can be quite personal," countered Sousuke.

"I said no guns!" she roared.

Sousuke looked forlornly down at the small box in his hands.

"I'm trying," he said in a low voice.

Kaname reached out, accepted the box gently, and then leaned into his chest with her arms around his waist.

"You don't have to get me anything, you know," she said. She reached up to touch his cross-shaped scar. "I'm pretty happy as is."

He kissed her once, on the crown of her head. "I know, but I want to."

That night, as she pulled the blankets to her chin and tucked her hands under the pillow, Kaname caught herself thinking that even if Sousuke did buy her a handgun, she wouldn't be angry; she really could use a reliable personal firearm.

She woke her roommate up with her laughter.

"Shut it, Chidori. I am not above killing you in your sleep, you know," Del mumbled. The dark hair that hung across Del's face puffed away from her sleepy features on the bursts of air that carried her words.

"Sorry. I think this place finally got to me," Kaname giggled.

"Welcome to the club," Del grumbled before pulling the blankets over her head.

The next day, Kaname enlisted Dibs and Aristo as consultants, poured over several magazines, and used her entire signing bonus to purchase a non-standard issue, canteen dive watch for Sousuke. It took a little over three weeks, even with the special shipping up-charge, to arrive. She didn't bother wrapping it in shiny paper and bows, but Kaname couldn't break the old habits from her days of trying to normalize her beloved military maniac when she gave it to Sousuke over breakfast at the mess hall.

"Happy birthday," she smiled as she handed over the box.

"The exact date of my birth is unknown, Kaname," he replied automatically.

"Whatever. Everyone needs a birthday, so why not today?" she reasoned as he worked open the packaging. Her grin widened when his head snapped up as he recognized the fine make of the watch.

"But why?" he asked.

"Because I wanted to," she explains. "So you can look at it and remember me."

"This is very kind and unexpected. Thank you."

Sure, his phrasing is a little stiff, but Sousuke doesn't excel with words. Kaname accepted that part of him, too. It was the way that he sighed into the curve of her neck the next time he held her that showed his real gratitude.

For a day or so, Kaname thought that she had it all figured out. MCA, Sousuke, her life: she got it now. Then she spotted a face from her nightmares, handsomely framed by long silver hair, in her nightly stack of reports, and Kaname shattered her coffee mug against the dorm wall.

"I am so _sick_ of mind games!" she yelled before cracking a half dozens pencils and punching her pillow until the seam threatened to split.

Del only raised an eyebrow. She was accustomed to Kaname's temper.

"You do something to piss off Z-Bear?" she asked wearily. Bear had drilled them for hours over the boards and then assigned a small mountain's worth of homework that day, so Kaname heard the lilt of Del's Spanish accent in her tired question.

"Not that I can remember. I've been doing really well lately," Kaname replied as she collected the ceramic fragments of her favorite cup and tossed them into the trash.

"Yeah, I've noticed," snorted Del. She puckered her lips and made a disgusting smooching sound. "Ooo, Sousuke!"

"So I'm getting punished for being happy? That's stupid," Kaname muttered. The last shard of the mug nicked her thumb, drawing blood. She stuck it into her mouth to suck at the hurt.

Del pushed back from her desk and stretched, arching her back like a cat. "Maybe. Or maybe it's just a coincidence. Who knows?"

The next day, Bear and Auntie gathered all of their MCA pupils, including the second and third years, and made them run round after round of Sims. They all wiped out for the first few rounds, but unlike during the initial two-week testing phase, there was no scoreboard to defeat. A long, mirrored wall in the testing room menaced the students.

Frustrations rose as everyone racked up defeats. The enemy's infantry soldiers possessed impossible power for even well-armored troops. Kaname was one of the first to figure out that they weren't fighting men; the enemy soldiers were miniature AS units.

In a fit of defiance, she clobbered the next five frames and outperformed most of the senior MCA classmen. After the rounds end, Bear tapped her on the shoulder.

"Please stay for a moment," he ordered, not unkindly.

Sousuke watched her as he filed out with the others, which left Kaname behind with a handful of third-years and two second-years. Auntie and Bear disappeared for a quarter of an hour, and during that time, Kaname got over her temper enough to recognize that all of remaining students in the room had performed well in the Sims. When the instructors returned, they quickly released all but three of the students. Auntie motioned Kaname to leave a little absently, so the girl left the room more than a little confused. If showing her pictures of Leonard Testarossa and his freaky man-sized killing machines wasn't a psychological game, why bring it up at all?

Kaname headed to the mess hall to join her friends after that, and the rumors reached her before she could finish her meal.

"Did you hear?" Dibs said and leaned in like the information was classified. "They early-graduated some upperclassmen today. Heard they are going right into a hot zone. What do you make of that?"

Kaname felt her hands go cold, and her fork clattered on the metal meal tray. Sousuke touched her thigh under the table while his eyes searched hers for an explanation, but she couldn't find the words, not yet.

Kaname Chidori is smart and she has learned to accept many things, but she still needed all that night and the next day to accept the hardest truth.

Yes, she has enemies, but it's not really about her. It never was. Mithril is a mercenary group. Amalgam is out there. The war is inevitable, and they will all be called on to fight.

* * *

Kurz Weber was proud as hell of his unit. With the addition of the final two members, courtesy of Melissa Mao's recommendation, the Gebo guys were launched into nearly three weeks of back-to-back missions all over the rim of the Indian Ocean, and they performed admirably.

The missions are unusually easy, mostly scout work with back-up operations and a few minor battles thrown in, and perfect for a team still learning to trust each other, still feeling out their roles.

Even easy missions can be grueling when they line up, one after another like hurdles on a track, but the exhaustion and endless hours on duty served a larger purpose in the team's development. The unit began to gel. Even their sullen commander lightened up and learned to laugh at one of the new guy's bad puns. Kurz missed Urzu less and less because he had new friends to tease at meal times. They created their own set of standing jokes and unflattering nicknames. Re-building a team became the best kind of time-suck for a guy nursing a near-broken heart.

As quickly as they came, however, the missions dried up. Kurz had no time to get bummed out about the end of the good times because the Gebo team received orders from on high to report back to base for special training the very next day. For four days, they were boys with new toys, playing war games in the woods. They fell asleep cracking jokes at night, like kids at summer sleep-away camp. Kurz loved every minute of it, so grateful that Mithril was taking all the right steps to make his team into a top-notch unit in such as short time. He had expected the process to take months.

Over breakfast on base, Kurz looked up from his guys and noticed that that the hall was overflowing with soldiers. The kitchen crew had to set up tables outside to accommodate the numbers. That afternoon, he took a walk by the pier and watched the ships and subs roll in as fast as they could undocked ones in harbor and send them back to sea.

His heart dropped like a stone into his stomach as he looked over the blue waters because it was clear as the sea around Merida Island that war was coming. The missions weren't practice for a new team; Mithril needed them to watch for a surprise attack by the advancing enemy. The special training wasn't for team bonding; the Gebo guys had to be tested before the real battle broke. When he stopped to think it through objectively, he realized that even his promotion was part of the preparation. Kurz was a great solider, but he didn't really have enough leadership experience to be second in a SRT. He had been too wrapped up in Melissa to see it before.

Standing on the docks, Kurz swallowed hard and raised his chin because, long ago, he accepted war as a dark, bloody, and necessary part of making a world worth passing on to the next generation, but accepting that ugliness wasn't the same as being ready for it.

The next time he found time with a computer alone, Kurz opened his inbox to find the note that he meant to send to Melissa already waiting for him.

"Something bad is brewing. You ok? Don't answer that. I want to do this in person. Next time on base, we need to talk. -M"

* * *

Sousuke grew up in war zones. In war, thinking too much gets you killed, so Sousuke didn't think. He obeyed. He survived. It was enough.

In the cockpit of the Arbalest, Sousuke learned otherwise. Killer instincts and years of training couldn't help him use the Lambda driver. He saw death open its maw to devour him, and he discovered, almost too late, that craving survival only protects you. In order to win, you need a better reason to fight.

Sousuke found his reason to fight because of Kaname. The worst part of his life was the three minutes that he believed that Kaname was dead, so when Del reacted the way she did, Sousuke knew exactly how she felt.

The incident started creeping in around 1600. Sousuke noticed Auntie lingering in the doorway to the classroom during Zio's lesson on the tribal differences in central China. He looked back twice before placing the aberration. Auntie wasn't carrying her clipboard. He found it difficult to focus on the lesson after that.

Zio's lectures tended to run long because he illustrated his points with fascinating anecdotes from the field. The first-years usually had to rush from his class as soon as he dismissed them to make it to their private language coaching sessions on time, but the others had noticed Auntie as well. When Zio gathered his notes and left, all five of them remained seated. Sousuke calmly stacked his Russian phrase book on top of his notebook and waited patiently for the bad news.

Auntie's high heels punctuated each step like a period, full of finality. She walked past Dibs, who sighed audibly in relief. Aristo had the good sense to examine his nails carefully, so no expression crossed his features as Auntie passed him by. Kaname looked the instructor full in the face, ready for anything, but she, too, went unnoticed.

Auntie paused in front of Del, put a hand on her shoulder, and smiled kindly. Sousuke did not ever wish to be on the receiving end of a smile like that.

"Cordelia, please come with me," Auntie said softly.

Sousuke found he couldn't look at his friend as her boots made dull knells on the linoleum as Auntie led her from the room.

After that, Sousuke went to meet his Russian tutor and dutifully focused on conjugations of "go" for forty-five minutes. All agents of Mithril were required to speak at least two languages, but MCA preferred multi-lingual graduates. Kaname took Mandarin lessons to add to her Japanese and passable English. Dibs was learning German, Aristo Spanish, and Del, Sousuke remembered, studied Hindustani. At mealtimes, they would teach each other bits and phrases of their respective languages for kicks. Sousuke could say "Drop your weapon", "This way, quickly", and "Eat shit" in ways that over 40% of the Earth's population could understand.

In Spanish, shit is _mierda_.

That bit of trivia came unbidden into Sousuke's head when Zio joined them for dinner in the mess hall. Technically, they were just outside the mess hall, gathered around one of the temporary tables set up to accommodate the high numbers of men on base. Del's absence was palpable as Zio filled the seat they had deliberately left empty for her.

"Before the rumors begin, you should know," Zio began. "Our Del lost her former unit yesterday. They were very close."

The tall man folded his hands on the tables, and his long fingers seemed to weave a basket large enough to hold a canary without crushing it.

"There are no assignments for tonight," he said.

Zio looked around the table, his bright eyes fixing each of them in his stern stare in turn. Then, he got up and left.

Dibs broke the silence first. "Just so you all know, Del's going to be a wreck. Those guys were her family. Damn." He shook his head and pushed away his tray.

"She only ever mentioned that commander was a total idiot to me," Kaname said, her face contracting in a tight ball of confusion.

"Yeah, why do you think she's here?" Dibs went on. "Her big plan was to get bumped up enough to go back and take command of her group. From what she told me, Del was pretty much the only thing stopping their dumb ass leader from getting them all..."

Dibs shut his mouth with a click and rubbed a hand across his crew cut of reddish hair. Their private thoughts kept them all quiet for a long moment.

"Bear wants us to keep her from dropping," Aristo finally said what they were all thinking. "Ideas?"

When Del returned to the dorm well after dark, a little drunk but stone silent as her measured, heavy steps carried her home, the four of them met her at the door. She didn't resist when Dibs took her arm and guided her back to the old campfire. Sousuke hated the dead look in Del's eyes as she let them build the fire into a small inferno and exchange bad jokes for her benefit.

An hour in to their master plan, Kaname surreptitiously poured out her now-warm Dos Equis on the ground and made a sour face. It wasn't working. They meant to get Del to loosen up and talk to them. They wanted to offer support and sympathy. Instead, they got a Del who spoke in clipped phrases, drank steadily yet absently, and watched the fire from million miles away. The tough, fearless Mexican woman they knew was as distant as the moon over the trees.

Sousuke knew how it felt to lose your reason to fight. He had seen Del's eyes in his reflection, but he could not string together the right words to help her. He hoped his presence voiced his support even though Del seemed oblivious to her surroundings.

Aristo was the first one to get any spark of emotion to flame up in her. The Greek took careful aim before throwing his empty beer bottle at her. It smashed on the corner of Del's split log bench. She jumped, they all did, and her eyes flashed though she said nothing. The Del they knew would have busted Aristo's ass for such a stunt. This Del merely brushed the glass bits from her arms and took a new perch a few paces further down on the bench.

"Yes, yes. We get that you are sad. _Pobre sita. No familia_," Aristo grumbled. The way he slurred his words made him sound drunk, but Sousuke knew Aristo had finished only three beers.

Del's shoulders hunched up, but she remained silent.

Aristo leaned forward. The fire cast weird shadows under his eyes.

"Were they good boys, _Dela Luna_? Did they love you?" he said. He threw his head back and laughed too loudly. "Did they call you _mamasita_?"

"Watch it," Dibs growled. "If you're trying to help, this ain't it."

Aristo merely grinned and reached for another beer. "Relax, Irish. It's good to remember the dead. _Dia de los muertos_!" he cheered and raised his fresh beer to the starry sky before chugging it.

"Don't," Del's voice cut him short. Her eyes stayed locked on the heart of flames. "They were my friends."

"Yes, yes. They were your friends, _La Chingada_. Heard you left them with a suicide king. Too bad, so sad," Aristo went on.

Sousuke felt his hands clench, but it wasn't his fight to start. Kaname pinched the extra fabric of his sleeve behind the elbow, so the fabric pulled over his biceps. When he turned to her, she shook her head. _Not now._

A tremor moved through Del's whole body, quick like a jolt of electricity.

"You think you're helping?" she ground out. "You want to see me cry? Get it all out so I'll feel better?"

"No, _La Llorona_ is no fun. She cries for her babies forever. Boring, boring," Aristo shrugged.

"They weren't my damn kids, _naco_," Del hissed. "Good people are dead because…" Her words trailed into nothingness, and suddenly, she was on her feet, gulping down the last of her beer and swiping at her mouth with her sleeve. "Later."

Aristo hopped up and trailed her like a fox behind a limping rabbit. "Aw, don't leave. _Si, no niños_. Maybe, _sus novios_? You know I can fuck you as good as any of them-"

Del's right cross caught him square of the jaw, and Aristo dropped fast with Del following him down, pinning him under her weight. Her fist drew back, and she seemed to hesitate for a fraction of a second before she lashed out, one-two-three, so fast that Sousuke lost track of the number of blows.

Something snapped. Sousuke thought it was the fire crackling until Del cried out and rolled off of Aristo, clutching her hand to her chest.

Dibs sprung up and lunged to grab her, but Aristo was already on his feet, shoving Dibs aside and menacing over Del.

"Again!" the Greek demanded of the woman on the ground below him.

Del's boot connected with his knee, and Aristo nearly toppled over but managed to sway back. His ponytail had come undone.

"Bitch! Hit me!" he cried out again.

"I hate you!" Del shrieked. This time, her kick brought him down over her. Kaname leapt up to break apart the writhing mass of limbs churning up the grass and leaves from the earth, but it was Sousuke's turn to reach for her arm and hold her back.

The struggle lasted less than a minute before Del screamed like a panther, an awful sound for a wild place, and went limp in Aristo's hold. Her sobs echoed in the quiet night, and Aristo caught her to him as a mother might hold a broken child. Her fists lashed weakly against his back as he whispered to her.

"_Destesta me. Por favor, mi corazon. No se detestes. _It's not your fault_._"

After a moment, Dibs approached carefully. He knelt beside his friends and put a loving hand on Del's heaving back and gave Aristo a nod of approval, which the Greek returned all the while whispering comfort, slipping from English to Spanish and back again, to the woman pressed against his chest.

With nothing to helpful to do, Kaname turned to Sousuke and threw herself into his arms, and he wondered if she remembered how she had beat on him in Hong Kong until he came around.

Del's sobs died away in time. Her friends ringed around her, but Aristo refused to let her go until she reached out and tugged on the sad remains of his ponytail.

"Hey _chango_," she hiccuped. "You're bleeding on me."

Aristo loosen his grip on her and worked his jaw a few times. "You hit hard," he concluded.

"Del, your hand," Dibs said softly.

Even in the pale moonlight, Sousuke could see that Del's right hand, the fist that she used on Aristo, had swollen and bruised.

"Yeah, I broke it on this one's dumb face," she sighed as she gestured to Aristo's battered jaw. "Hospital?"

"Hospital," Aristo agreed. He helped Del up, careful to reach for her good hand. Sousuke noticed that the Greek held fast to it on the long walk across the island. Kaname elbowed him in the ribs and smiled when she noticed it, and Sousuke considered the implications of holding hands. He decided that the evidence was inconclusive. Maybe Del and Aristo would end up a couple or maybe not. All that mattered was that Aristo proved to Del that she still had a reason to fight.

* * *

"Here goes nothing," Melissa Mao muttered to herself and climbed into the virtual training pod.

The space felt almost exactly like the inside of her AS. The same instruments lined the display in the same order. The LD screens lit the cockpit in that familiar bluish glow, but Melissa felt the difference in the looseness of the stabilization harness. Her AS had been modified to fit her small frame, but the training module was one-size-fits-all. Also, she could smell a little of Yang's cheap Taiwanese cigarettes and Hummer's aftershave lingering in the small, enclosed space. After her turn, she would get to find out how the rest of the team had performed.

"Give us a few minutes to reset the training simulation," a male voice came over the radio headpiece.

"Take your time," Melissa returned. She could use a few quiet moments to get her head together.

All of Urzu should have been on base with the rest of the other pilots for this training session, but their mission load precluded any extraneous trips. They moved constantly from continent to continent as the TDD-1 raced to quell uprisings and safeguard Mithril's supply lines. Melissa had sensed the storm brewing even before Tessa recalled Sousuke to his team. She had expected this training to come from some weeks now.

The training boxes worked up to a point, but adjusting emotions to the correct levels to activate a Lambda in a quiet room and using the weapon in real-time combat were as different as fighting a punching bag or a tiger. As near as Melissa could figure, Mithril wanted to test the pilots in simulated battle before equipping the most promising of them with the limited number of new Arm Slaves. Of course, training simulations couldn't completely replicate battle either, but it was damn closer than the boxes. Since Urzu couldn't return to base, the engineers had jury-rigged their training box to the onboard training pod. The urgency of the request and subsequent scramble to ready the equipment hinted at the nearness of battle.

Melissa snapped back to the task at hand when she heard the radio line open with a tell-tale pop followed by the whispers of ambient noise on the other end of the line.

"Sorry for the delay, but we need to re-calibrate. Please wait," the voice said. The line closed again.

Melissa cracked her knuckles and rolled her shoulders up and back. They all had spent more time in their machines than out in the past week, and Melissa felt the strain in her knotted and stiff muscles. The younger guys seemed immune to those aches and pains. They slept like stones, refused to eat anything green, and practically choked on their eagerness to get back into battle. It made Melissa tired just watching them, tired and old.

The line opened again, but the voice was new and unexpected.

"Hey, Mel. Miss me?"

"Weber, what the hell-"

"You know, I can't hear you. The line only goes one way. Kaname is talking everyone through the simulation, but we can totally see your face right now. You look tired."

Melissa glared at the dime-sized camera lens on the dash, and Kurz laughed.

"Whoa, babe. Don't get angry. I'm here to help." His voice dropped as Kurz switched from playful to serious. "Listen. I told Angel here what you said in Belize. About the box not working for you anymore. We think that's because you're not afraid of whatever it was any more. Like maybe you have a new fear? Or something. Look, I'm not the expert here. Hang on a sec."

Melissa heard muffed voices as if Kurz and Kaname were talking to someone else while one of them covered the mike with a hand.

"Okay," Kurz said. "They are ready to start. I was thinking about staying here and talking you through it. Give Angel a break, you know."

Melissa looked into the lens and shook her head.

"Fine, fine," Kurz conceded. "But my help worked last time. I know that you want this, Mel, but I'll go if that's what you really want."

"We are ready to begin," the voice cut in. "Commence scenario in five...four..."

"Oops. Looks like you're stuck with me, babe," Kurz observed.

"...Two...one."

The screens filled with images and data. Melissa took stock of the situation. Two enemy Venoms. Cityscape with few toppled and blazing buildings. Her gun. Her blade.

"Try to forget that it's a Sim," Kurz's voice commanded. "Imagine your own personal hell's gate opening."

Melissa tried to focus her emotions, but the first Venom was on the move. It sprang across a burning structure and fell on her like a hawk. Instinctually, she raised her gun and fired as the monster descended. Her shots ricocheted off the Lambda driver's defensive shield around the Venom and shook her footing as they impacted around her.

"Snap out of it, Mel. Your gun won't work on these guys," Kurz reminded her unhelpfully.

"I know, I know. Jackass," Melissa mumbled to herself.

She leapt to the side to avoid becoming the Venom's landing pad. As it touched earth, she went on the offensive. She aimed her blade for the vulnerable cooling unit.

"Melissa, get it together!" Kurz screamed as a bubble of energy and light welled up around the Venom before exploding outward. Her teeth shook with the impact as her AS collided against a building.

Suddenly, the second Venom appeared in front of her, its palm filling with a pulsating orb. In the fraction of second before it reared back and slammed the energy ball into her chest, Melissa cycled through her reasons to fight. The greater good of Mithril. Her pride. Survival. She even went back to what worked on the floor of the warehouse on Merida Island. She desperately clung to the scenario that no longer worked.

"Mel," Kurz whispered, and the answer was so obvious that she could have laughed at her own stupidity.

Then Venom struck, but the screens filled with new and strange colors as her will manifested in a wall of light around her. The controls felt lighter. She focused her fear, and the Venom unit in front of her blew apart like a dandelion in the breeze.

"That's my girl," Kurz's voice echoed in her earpiece, and something sharp twisted in her chest at his words.

The second Venom gutted her with its blade in the next instant.

The screens went dark before the trainer's voice came over the line.

"Thank you. That is all," he dismissed her.

Melissa started the power down sequence, and Kurz came back.

"Hey. Sorry we can't talk. Take care out there," he said softly before the communication light flashed out on her dash.

By the time Melissa finished changing out of the her AS suit and joined the rest of Urzu in the briefing room, the most of the guys were over their ignoble defeats, even laughing at their collective failure. For a team accustomed to dazzling victory, Urzu knew how to take a set-back in stride.

"How long did you last?" Yang asked as she dropped into the vacant chair next to him.

"Long enough to get skewered against a high rise," she sighed. "What about you bastards?"

"The new guy showed us all what's what," he filled her in. "You sure know how to pick 'em."

Melissa kicked at the table leg a little absently. "Yeah, yeah. So where is the little bugger?"

"In the winners' meeting," Yang said. "They are probably outfitting him for a fancy new AS as we speak."

"Us losers gotta stick together," Melissa remarked.

Hummer chuckled and flashed her a thumbs up. "You know it."

The door opened, and Mardukas looked up from his clipboard to take stock of the Urzu team.

"Well, that was disappointing," he said flatly. His eyes settled on Melissa, and she itched under his reptilian, unblinking stare. "Sergeant Major, I believe you are in the wrong meeting."

"Excuse me, sir?"

"The wrong meeting, Ms. Mao," Mardukas repeated, a little louder and a lot colder. "You did activate the Lambda driver, did you not?"

"And promptly got myself killed," she blurt out before her survival instinct kicked in. "Sorry, sir."

Yang was looking at her like she was from another planet. "You got it working?" he asked incredulously.

"Ms. Mao," Markdukas prompted before she could respond.

Melissa escaped from the room as quickly as possible, mentally kicking herself for her stupid mistake. She just assumed that the training would be another set-back. She hadn't expected to succeed.

* * *

Tessa woke up on the floor of her office. She picked herself up carefully and bent once to collect the papers strewn at her feet. Her head ached. From the tenderness in her joints, she could already count the bruises forming where her limp body had collided with the hard floor. The last time the Whispers took her under she was eleven? Twelve? She couldn't remember. It had been years since her last major incident. The timing couldn't be worse to begin another phase of intense productivity. She had a brother to fight. The war could break out at any moment.

When all the papers were gathering into a neat stack on her desk, Tessa returned to her chair, put her head in her hands, and thought about crying.

She had been crying rivers of selfish tears lately. Tessa tried to pin her unhappiness on the loss of Sousuke. Failing to earn his love marked the first time that she could not attain a goal that she had set for herself, but if she was honest, her problem had little to do with unrequited puppy love (although she did feel a dark sense of pride when she ordered him to return to the sub. Kaname was right about the captain thing).

Tessa decided against tears and, for lack of anything better to do, set about making tea.

When the kettle whistled, she had to steady her hands to pour the water without spilling. She loved tea. She looked forward to the simple tang of green tea in the morning and the sweet warmth of Earl Grey with milk in the afternoon. She liked the little tea sets with elegant, curved handles on the cups and matching saucers. She had fifteen minutes before her next meeting, and she intended to use that time to think. Mint tea made an excellent elixir for thought.

All her life, Tessa did what people told her she could not do. She built a beautiful machine out of dreams before she got her first period because they told her that such a submarine was impossible and impractical. She graduated from Mithril Command Academy in six months to captain her creation on its maiden voyage because someone told her that the Whispereds were only good for research. To spite those who questioned her ability to lead, she earned the love and respect of her crew before her sweet sixteenth birthday.

In a sense, she won every time, but taken in another light, Tessa's reactions defined her. In the absence of new challenges, she looked into a blank future.

Tessa studied the leaves at the bottom of her cup and hoped to see her fortune spelled out. It just looked like a sodden mass. She added more hot water and watched the tea swirl at random.

The swirl.

Tessa grabbed the fresh batch of her Whisper-inspired scribbles, opened her hidden desk drawer with the small silver key hidden under her tea cozy, and pulled out the file. She had saved all of her Whispered drawings and notes from the past two years, what little of them there were. The matching process took almost ten minutes and even then Tessa could see the huge gaps in the data, but the basic idea was there. She saw it, a flying machine, and for a moment, Tessa longed for the winds.

Her guests would arrive at any moment for the scheduled meetings, so Tessa gathered up the papers and re-hid them in the desk. No one else needed to know, not yet. She needed the Whispers to give her more pieces before she would tell anyone about her newest dream.

For the first time in years, Tessa wanted the Whispers to speak to her because Tessa had finally learned that behind each challenge is another challenge, and part of being a real adult, and not just a girl in captain's clothes, is understanding the difference between a challenge and a goal.

When the war is over, Tessa thinks she would like to build a new machine from her impossible dreams because, after all these years underwater, she misses the sky.

* * *

Translations:

_Pobre sita_. _No familia_: Poor little thing. No family.

_Del la Luna_: Bad pun on "from the moon" using Del's name. Aristo is trash talking. He's such a jerk sometimes. Gosh.

_Mamasita_: Literally "Little Mama", connotes hawtness_._

_Dia de los muertos_: Literally "day of the dead", a largely Mexican holiday to remember loved one who have passed over. You hang out in a graveyard all day. It's fun!

_La Chingada_: "The fucked one." A derogagtory terms for La Malinche, a native woman who was a translator for the Spanish conquistadors and the mistress of their leader Cortés. She is often reviled as a traitor to her people.

_La Llorona_: The weeping woman, part of a legend about a young mother who drowns her children and then herself. Her spirit wanders the world, crying out for her lost children. Details of the legend vary from region to region. Sometimes, La Llorona is an innocent victim, driven to despair by her circumstance. Sometimes, she is like Medea, another mythical woman, who killed her children to spite her cheating husband.

_Naco_: Human trash.

_Si, no niños_: Ok, not kids.

_sus novios: _Your boyfriends

_Destesta me. Por favor, mi corazon. No se detestes._: "Hate me. Please, my heart. Don't hate yourself." (Rough translation because Aristo's Spanish kind of sucks.)

_Chango_: Monkey. Mischief-maker with a good heart. Also a playful term for boyfriend.


	16. Intel

"Get up Kaname!" the alarm clock clucked, and when Kaname glared while it flapped its dumb mechanical wings and rolled its button eyes, she almost felt back at home in Tokyo. An aircraft carrier's engine rumbling in the distance sounded like the commuter train. The rustle and muted bumps beyond the walls as the few remaining MCA students prepared for another day reminded her of the old lady who lived upstairs watering her window flower boxes. Her sleep-muddled mind turned the muffled boom of an explosion on the artillery field into a street cat tripping off one of Sousuke's booby traps.

Kaname smiled sleepily as she reached over to bonk the alarm clock on its head to turn it off. She missed it the first time and tipped over the stack of reports on her cheap wooden nightstand. The papers whispered like a receding wave as they puddled on the floor, and Kaname's smile evaporated. If she were home in Tokyo, she would follow a simple routine: get out of bed, get dressed, grab some toast, meet up with Sousuke to head to school. Kaname still could hope to see Sousuke today even if he were out on a mission, were she home in Tokyo. On Merida Island, however, she could only pray that she _wouldn't_ see him today. Since Tessa had recalled him to the submarine and the war against Amalgam threatened to break at any moment, Sousuke would only come to the island today in a medical helicopter, half-dead or worse.

The now-familiar stab of heartsickness made Kaname yank her pillow over her head and long for another hour of sleep. It had been a mistake to ask Kyoko to send her that box of things from her old apartment for her MCA dorm room. The alarm clock made her think about Tokyo and Sousuke every morning. She missed him so much.

Sousuke had left her and the base behind almost three weeks ago. The recall order came down after Auntie's big announcement at the regularly scheduled meeting with the First Years. She had greeted them all at the door with a kind smile that put them all on alert immediately. Del's face had flushed so dramatically that Aristo reached out for her in front of their instructor, but Del had warned him off with flashing eyes. Del's hot glare, however, couldn't deter the Greek from taking the seat next to her. Since their brawl by the campfire, the pair had been almost inseparable. In the bright light of Auntie's spacious office, Kaname could see the yellowing of the bruises under Aristo's olive-skinned face and the thin line of black stitches along the lower rim of his eye socket where Del's fist had split the delicate flesh across the bone. The doctor that had been on duty at the hospital that night had said that Aristo was lucky that his nose and jaw hadn't broken, which made them all laugh like drunken idiots while the doctor had sighed like a long-suffering grandmother and opened a new suture kit.

"I'm afraid that we'll need to keep this meeting short this time," Auntie began as she settled into the last open chair. She folded her hands over the clipboard on her lap and smiled that coma-inducing smile at them. Del visibly trembled.

Dibs leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. "More bad news?"

Auntie nodded slowly.

"What's going on?" Dibs asked.

"Oh, come now. Surely you have reviewed the reports?" Auntie scoffed. "Have we taught you so little?"

"We've done our homework. We know what Mithril faces," Aristo responded. "Increased attacks on strategic supply lines. Intelligence leaks by turn-coat agents."

"Assassination of key contacts in cooperative nations," added Dibs.

"Guerilla attacks on training bases and recruiting centers meant to stem troop numbers and demoralize new soldiers," said Sousuke.

"Unconfirmed reports of new AS types from the field," Kaname chimed in.

"200% increase in casualties in the past 90 days," Del said in a flat voice. Aristo and Dibs exchanged a tight-lipped look while the fierce beauty at the center of their concern stared into her empty, upturned palms in her lap.

"My apologies. I ought to know not to underestimate you," Auntie conceded. "So we all agree that the situation is dire. If we were High Command, what actions would we take?"

The First Years didn't need a moment to think over the question. It had been the topic of every meal-time conversation since Del lost her unit. Although they didn't agree on everything, they were of one mind on the first course of action.

"Ma'am, we would recommend an offensive," Sousuke said. "Withdraw all outlying troops to stronger positions and act on the best intelligence to undermine the enemy's campaign before it can develop more momentum."

Auntie smiled again, and Kaname felt a coldness wash over her.

"Well said, Mr. Sagara. And that leads us to the bad news," Auntie said. "I'm afraid that I will need to cancel our training for the time being. Starting immediately, I've been re-activated."

"That's it?" Dibs blurt out.

Aristo and Del looked equally relieved but wisely kept their mouths shut.

Kaname smacked Dibs on the back of the head. "What this idiot means is that we'll miss you."

"Sorry, ma'am," Dibs muttered.

"It's quite alright," Auntie laughed. "I know that you have reason to expect much worse from me. Zio will continue working with you and the remaining students from MCA for the time being."

"For the time being?" Sousuke repeated. There was no tremor in his voice, but Kaname wanted to reach for his hand nevertheless. Something about the way each word came out too hard and crisp made her suspect that something was troubling him.

"Some of us will have more time than others," Auntie answered with her expression as blank as an egg. Sousuke met her gaze with an equally unreadable countenance, and Kaname sensed rather than saw something pass between them.

"Can you tell us what you'll be doing?" she asked to crack the mounting silence.

"Nosy much?" Del scolded.

"It's valid," Aristo said with a shrug.

"I don't mind," Auntie addressed Del before turning back to Kaname. "I won't be far. Likely, I will remain on base to assist with strategic troop re-organization and re-assignment based on fresh intelligence and shifting stats."

Aristo reached for Del again. He captured her slender wrist between his thumb and forefinger before releasing it again. "Shifting stats" was Command's euphemism for mass casualties in men and equipment.

"I heard that the Third Years were early-graduated. Some of the Second Years, too," Aristo said quickly.

"Yes and no. There's nothing more we can teach the Third Years that they couldn't learn better and faster in the field at this point," Auntie sighed. "Pending submission of their final theses and favorable reports from their COs, they are effectively done with MCA. The Second Years I believe that you are referring to were recalled to their units. I'm afraid any remaining questions will need to go unanswered. Now, if you'll pardon me..."

After leaving Auntie's final meeting, they all figured it would only be a matter of time before their merry band was split apart, but none of them took it well when an officer came for Sousuke that very night. He had fifteen minutes to pack his rucksack before heading over to the air strip to catch a transport bound for the TDD-1. The guys clapped Sousuke on the back as he left the dorm, and Del hugged him like a protective older sister while reminding him to watch his back. It went without saying that Kaname would walk him to the transport alone.

In Tokyo, she used to wish that Sousuke would give her some sort of warning before he disappeared on a mission. Kaname thought it would make her worry less if she could get in a proper farewell. She had never been more wrong about anything in her life.

She blathered on like a fool all the way over to the airport. "Tell Melissa hey for me. Get the lowdown on her and Kurz. Do you think you would see Kurz? 'Cause if you see him, tell him hey for me..."

Sousuke answered in monosyllables like an automaton when he could edge in a word to her maniacal monologue. The noise of the transports finally stopped her prattling. It was too loud to do anything but yell, and Sousuke had turned to her with painful sadness in his eyes.

"Hey. Write me when you can," she managed to shout over the drone of the helicopter's blades as they stood on the tarmac with wind whipping wildly around them.

Sousuke nodded once and squeezed her hand. His mouth moved.

"I can't hear you!" she yelled.

Sousuke nodded and ducked in to speak directly into her ear. His warm cheek pressed against hers.

"This is harder than I expected," he said.

He landed a quick kiss on the corner of her mouth, and then he was gone.

Back in her lonely dorm room, Kaname heard the faucet in the guys' old room squeak through the wall as Del brushed her teeth. With much of MCA recalled to their units, Del and Kaname no longer needed to share a room. The squeak was fair warning. If Kaname didn't get up now, she would miss her morning ritual with Del.

Kaname heaved herself out of bed, collected the fallen papers from the floor, splashed tepid water on her face, pulled on her running shoes, and met Del for a jog around the 10K trail.

"Morning," Del greeted her as Kaname stepped outside. "You ready to do this?"

"Ready as I'm going to get," Kaname grumbled and bounced on her toes to get the blood flowing to her legs.

Del turned her face up into the thin morning light as she corralled her black hair into a ponytail. She shook her head to test the rubber band's hold. When she was satisfied that she could run without bouncing her hair loose, they took off without another word.

As they ran, Kaname felt the emptiness everywhere. Empty buoys bobbed in the glassy lagoon that usually teemed with ships. Row after row of barracks stood silently in the new day. Even the mess hall was deserted. The reduced kitchen staff set up the food in the small kitchens at each of remaining fully-functional buildings. Even though Merida Island looked like the ghost town, it was still the heart of the organization and the touch-point for both the Pacific and Indian Ocean fleets. Anyone remaining on the island couldn't spare a leisurely trip to the mess hall for food. Kaname and Del's morning run was a stolen hour and the key to their sanity. Kaname needed the physical release to endure day after day hunched over malfunctioning circuits and stacks of hazy incident reports about the new AS units in Building F. Del excelled at predicting enemy movements and spent her long days pouring over the boards with Bear's group in Building D.

"Got a note from Dibs," Del huffed as they dashed past their old barrack. Dibs had returned to his unit not long after Sousuke left, which won him a tidy sum from their recall betting pool. Kaname had bet on Bear. "He says Cielo is working in his team. Remember him?"

"Yeah," Kaname gasped. Running and talking at the same time took her breath away, so she could only get a few words out at a time. "Sweet guy. Smart. Could get along with a snake."

Del laughed. "Guess Dibs' crew needed a steady hand. He's their second now."

"Anything from Aristo?" Kaname dared to ask.

The Greek had left only a week before. Like Sousuke and Dibs, he didn't have time for lengthy good-byes. Kaname had answered the door still rubbing at her eyes and grumpy as an old goat when the knock came just before dawn because Del slept like the dead. Aristo had looked wide awake with his damp hair pulled into his ever-present ponytail. The rucksack balanced on his shoulder looked strangely light compared to Sousuke's and Dib's.

"Miss Kaname, I'm leaving," he said softly. He presented her with a plain, white envelope. "Would you give this to Del for me? I do not wish to wake her up to say good-bye."

"Why? You afraid you'll cry?" Del's voice, still thick from sleep, interrupted. She had both feet on the floor and was pulling a sweatshirt over her barely-there tank top and cotton shorts. Kaname burned Aristo with a withering glance when she caught him staring.

"Air field or harbor?" Del demanded. She shoved her feet into her well-worn boots without bothering with socks.

"I go by plane, but there's no need for you-" Aristo got out before Del pushed past him.

"Let's go, then," she said without looking back. Kaname gave Aristo her best smile, which he returned with a wink that reminded her of Kurz, before going after Del.

Kaname remembered too late that she still had Aristo's envelope, but Del refused to take it when she returned over an hour later.

"He said that I'm supposed to read it if he gets killed. Morbid bastard," Del said as she yanked opened her dresser drawers and stuffed the contents into plastic bags. Aristo had given her the key to the guys' room, and Del intended to make use of it. "You keep it. I'm no good with secrets or surprises."

Kaname had only nodded. She was proud that she had kept her own counsel at that moment and again later when she noticed that Del had elected to sleep in Aristo's bunk without bothering to change the sheets. Kaname kept the envelope tucked in the bottom drawer of her desk along with Sousuke's necklace.

"Not a word from that lousy jerk," Del grumbled. "You? Anything from Sousuke Kissyface?"

"Now you're just being mean." Kaname rubbed the sweat out of her eyes.

The morning was warm and humid as a sauna, so Del stripped off her jersey and tied it around her waist as she ran. "I still can't believe that he copied you on his mission reports. How romantic."

"Drop it, Del," Kaname wanred. She should have known better than to ask Sousuke to write without providing more specifics to direct that maladjusted idiot. While Kaname didn't envision eloquent letters from the front, she damn sure didn't imagine Sousuke cc-ing her with his incident reports without so much as a "Dear Kaname" at the top.

"You're lucky to get that much," Del said. "You _did_ send him out a virgin. Ow!"

Del came up grinning with a streak of dirt down her left cheek after tripping over Kaname's foot and nearly face-planting on the trail. Kaname set her jaw and picked up the pace to try to wind her running companion and avoid Del's favorite teasing topic. At least Kaname only had to deal with Del's ribbing; it had been way worse when Dibs and Aristo were still around

The trees and shrubs rushed past without comment as they finished that last leg of the trail. They rounded the last bend at a near-sprint and, as per their custom, dropped to a walking pace to cool down before splitting up to shower. Kaname hoped that Del wouldn't catch her breath before they hit the dorms, but Del recovered faster than a marathoner.

"Check it out. You've got a stalker." Del pointed to the thin figure fixed in front of Kaname's door. Even from the back, he seemed familiar. Kaname squinted against the sun for a better look.

"You know him?" asked Del.

The figure turned to face them, but seeing his features brought Kaname no closer to true recognition. Instead, she felt a queasy sense of deja-vu bubble up inside her.

"I can't tell yet," Kaname answered. "That's odd."

Whoever it was made no move to meet them; instead, he waited patiently by Kaname's door for them to arrive.

"Can we help you?" Del asked when they came within the range of normal conversation. Del's words came out sharp and hard, so Kaname could tell that the stranger's cold stare bothered Del as much as it did her.

"I was told that you would be available," he said in monotone. "Ms. Chidori. Ms. Delgado. I haven't much time. Please follow me."

The stranger turned, and Del pulled her jersey back over her head despite the heat and tugged it down to follow him. Kaname, who was still troubled by the sense of misplaced familiarity, followed two paces behind. Fortunately, because Kaname needed a tall glass of water in a bad way, he didn't go far. He ducked into the nearest common room and dealt out the contents of the folder he had been carrying across the table.

Del tapped a face in the top photograph.

"Kaname. Look," she said and pointed to the face on the left. "It's Cricket."

Kaname looked. Even a quick glance confirmed Del's observation. It was Cricket alright- same buggy eyes, twiggy limbs, and haughty expression. Kaname didn't remember him looking so young in person, but in the photograph, the baby fat in his cheeks reminded her that he was just a kid. Cricket looked terribly uncomfortable in a poorly-tailored Western-style wool suit and crisp tie. What troubled Kaname, however, was the person sitting across the table from the washed out MCA candidate. The long hair and sharp chin were the giveaway, even though shadows and a bad camera angle blocked most of Leonard Testarossa's face. Kaname suddenly wanted to punch something.

"Cricket?" the stranger repeated.

"Yeah. His name was Albert Something-or-Other, but we all called him Cricket when he was here," Del said. She shuffled around a few photos to compare angles and the light. "I'm sure it's him. What's this about?"

"So he was here?" the stranger prodded.

Del narrowed her eyes and shifted her weight back away from the table. "Cricket wiped out of MCA around day ten. He left in a huff when he blew the first campaign Sim," she said. Her eyes surveyed the visitor's uniform, which lacked insignia, and took in his unhinging stare. "Who are you?"

"What else do you remember?" he countered.

It was a stupid move to challenge Del; she could be as chilly as an iceberg and nearly as immovable when she felt disrespected. Kaname stepped forward and picked up a photo to jog her memory before answering. She wanted to get this exchange over as quickly as possible because Kaname had her own set of questions for her visitor.

"Cricket wasn't good with people, but he knew a bunch of stuff," Kaname recalled. "The first night I met him, he already knew about me being a Whispered and about Behemoth."

"The TA let it slip that he tried to blackmail her by showing her some pictures," Del added reluctantly. "She said his causality rate was stupid high, too."

The stranger nodded. He did not take any notes, but Kaname knew that all of the information they gave on Cricket was being committed to memory.

"He knew a lot about advanced AS units," Kaname remembered. "He got really mad when Auntie put one of the new prototypes in play."

"Did he have any personal problems or grudges with anyone?" he asked.

"No one really liked him, if that's what you mean, but he seemed to hate us all pretty equally," Del sighed. "Except Kaname."

The stranger's eyebrows rose slightly. "Oh?"

"I got the feeling that he didn't like Whispereds. I didn't take it personally," Kaname shrugged. She traded the the photo in her hands for the new shot from the assortment on the table. In all the other photos, Cricket looked just as he had at MCA, smug as hell, but in this one, Cricket's eyes were wide and his mouth hung open in shock or fear.

Del cocked her head to one side as she looked over Kaname's shoulder. She touched a corner to steady the glossy snapshot because Kaname's hands had begun to shake.

"Is Cricket in some kind of trouble?" Del asked, her tone at once protective and critical. Maybe she had a slew of little siblings at home that she used to hone her big sister act. No one at Mithril talked about family much, which surprised no one. People from normal families don't end up as mercenaries working for a covert military peace-keeping organization, but Kaname could see Del ringed with dark-haired little ones. Del seemed like the perfect big sister.

Kaname squeezed her eyes shut to keep that happy thought, but a darker truth overwhelmed her thoughts. Cricket wasn't just in trouble; Kaname knew the awful answer to Del's question already. She saw it glimmering in Leonard's eye.

"He's dead," the stranger answered flatly.

"Geez," Del said. She looked a little sick. "Poor kid."

Behind her closed eyelids, Kaname watched a mechanical arm hold a slip of a girl with black hair aloft. The rain splattered loudly on the rooftop but couldn't disguise the wet crunch of a trachea collapsing. It was the first time she had seen someone die up close.

"No," Kaname whispered.

The stranger gave a dry laugh. "Such sympathy for a traitor."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Del snapped.

"I'll tell you later," Kaname broke in. She needed answers, and patience had never been Kaname's strong point. "After work. Okay, Del?"

Kaname gave her friend a little shove toward the door.

Del raised her chin to give their visitor another hard look. "You sure?"

"I'll see you soon," Kaname confirmed.

Although she hesitated in the doorway because she did not like abandoning her friends, Del respected Kaname enough to take her leave on cue.

When the door clicked closed behind Del, Kaname broke into an uneasy grin.

"Hello, Wraith," she said. "You look well."

It was a partial lie. He had lost a great deal of weight and looked far paler than she remembered from Tokyo but much improved from the last time she saw him on the TDD-1. Kaname kicked herself for missing the mischievous glint of those eyes earlier.

Wraith returned the smile. "Ah, I was worried that this Command school had completely rotted your brain. Hello, Kaname."

"I see Mithril still signs your paychecks. You didn't like university life?" Kaname teased.

Wraith gathered the photos and tucked them back into his folder.

"I rather enjoyed my time in Tokyo, but there is little time for amusement these days," Wraith said in that disconcerting flat alto that sounded too full to be female yet too high to be male.

Kaname couldn't resist falling into their pattern of cutting banter. "Wow, I didn't think that you were capable of such loyalty," she said as she helped collect the photos.

"There is the small matter of outstanding medical bills to consider," Wraith said pointedly.

"You really are a pain, you know," Kaname groaned. Maybe it was her latent homesickness finally blossoming or the familiar playfulness of their teasing, but Kaname felt honestly happy to see her former watcher, despite his sharp tongue. In a way, she was grateful that the bad news would come from Wraith. She could count on him to be truthful, albeit awfully blunt.

Wraith chuckled once, a dry noise like wind through dead leaves, before letting the comfortable moment stretch into something else. Eventually, Wraith's low voice broke the silence. "He wanted intelligence on you."

"I don't know why," Kaname shuddered. She had expected as much about Leonard's meeting with Cricket, but Wraith's words still turned her stomach.

"Because he sees a use in you," Wraith said.

"Like what?" Kaname asked and regretted it immediately. She dreaded to hear the answer. Even after all this time, she could remember exactly how Leonard's cold mouth felt against her and how he smelled of antiseptic.

Wraith met her gaze with steady eyes. "I thought you were a smart girl, Kaname."

It was an insult and yet a kindness coming from Wraith. Kaname knew that she couldn't have handled his cold honesty. She had been stupid to ask for it. _He needs to crack you open and rip out the secrets in your head because he wants to bend the world to__ his__ will. You, especially. Every monster craves a bride. _

"Your little traitor had already sold every secret he knew about Mithril to Amalgam before these photos were taken," Wraith said carefully. "This meeting occurred without the knowledge of the greater organization."

"So Leonard killed Cricket to cover his tracks," Kaname said. "Leonard has his own plans."

"You are part of those plans," Wraith returned. Again, Wraith's deliberate vagueness bordered on kindness.

"Thank you," Kaname said quietly.

Wraith blinked and then held out his hand, and Kaname reluctantly took the proffered photo.

"I was serious about my interest in Japanese universities," Wraith dead-panned.

"You know you don't have the chest for my clothes, right?" Kaname retorted before looking down at the new image.

In the photo, Kyoko walked across a sunlit plaza with a large book bag slung over her shoulder. She was half-turned to her companion, and the angle showed off Kyoko's new hairstyle. She had meant it when she complained that she didn't want to go off to college in braided pigtails. The stylish bob made her look very much the part of the sophisticated co-ed. Kyoko had always been a cute girl, but now, she looked lovely.

It wasn't fair, of course. There were millions of girls out there like Kyoko, who had the luxury of growing into women while they met friends for sushi and shopped for the perfect pair of killer heels, yet there was Kaname, stuck on an uncharted island with nothing but sweats and fatigues to wear for the scheduled drop into a hot zone. It wasn't fair that, by fluke of birth, Kaname had such limited options. Before she could get angry, however, Kaname thought of Sousuke- that impossibly kind, blundering fighter, who was somewhere out there over the Pacific waging war for the safety of a civilian world that he barely understood. Sousuke did not ask for his life either, yet he did not complain. He never even got a childhood.

Lost in her own thoughts, Kaname almost missed Wraith taking his leave. She turned just in time to see him slip out the door.

"Be on alert, Chidori," Wraith warned without looking back.

Kaname wondered dimly what reasons Wraith might have to fight. She'd read the reports; Amalgam offered a tidy sum to lure Mithril intelligence operatives to their side. What loyalties held him to Mithril? Was he even still with Mithril? Wraith had never confirmed one way or the other.

But the moments for idle speculation were over. Dr. Twomey would expect her at R&D to go over the fresh intel from the combat units in 15 minutes. Then, there was the small matter of the new AI programs roundly rejecting installation into the latest AS prototypes to muddle through.

Kaname jogged back to her dorm and peeled off her sweat-soaked clothes and showered in record time. She carried the new photo of Kyoko with her and pinned it to the corkboard over her desk with the other snapshots from Jindai High's graduation. When they could get away for a break, Kaname wanted to return to Tokyo with Sousuke. In the rush to prepare for war, she hadn't even gotten around to telling her old friends about the new developments in their relationship. She made a mental note to call Kyoko that night and to take up Del on her standing offer for basic hand-to-hand training. Kaname needed something to look forward to, and thoughts of going home and punching Leonard Testarossa right in his stupid, sneering face provided motivation enough to face another dark day.

Unfortunately, Kaname's newly-found good spirits didn't last. Once in her drab office nook somewhere around the navel of Building F's underground body, she found the message waiting innocently among the other new communication in her inbox. She didn't find it so unusual, so she didn't open it right away. Instead, she clicked on the one from Sousuke first and scanned over his dull report long enough to find the phrase "mission objective obtained without incident" and the single personalized line that she had started demanding from him in her last note at the bottom before closing it.

Sousuke had written, "_I miss you a great deal and think about you often._"

Kaname sighed. It wasn't much, but it was enough.

The second message she opened bore no readily identifiable sender name, and Kaname thought it was the analysis report on the new prototype's propulsion system from the lab in Romania.

It read:

_"Dearest Kaname, _

_What a shame that you've decided to oppose me. I've had such visions of you, and I am loathe to give them up just yet. There's a cafe in Istanbul where you can see the Golden Horn. Pierre Loti Cafe. Meet me there in 48 hours from the time stamp on this __communiqué__. I know that you might need a little incentive, so I've taken the liberty._

_Wear a white dress. _

_Fondly, _

_Leonard_"

Kaname held her breath as she clicked on the attachment. A video clip appeared on her screen. In the low-res clip, a young woman sat blindfolded and shivering on a metal chair in an empty room. Water stains yellowed the walls, and a large puddle covered half the floor. After a few moments, Leonard appeared in the frame. He lifted a hand to wave at the camera before strolling over to the captive woman. Without hesitiation, he drew a thin switchblade and rammed it into her left shoulder. The woman screamed, or she would have screamed had the volume on the Kaname's computer been un-muted. Leonard drew back the blade with a wicked grin and shook it once to splatter the blood across his victim's pale face. She screamed again, and Kaname nearly screamed in rage as well. The woman had Kyoko's face, Kyoko's thin frame, her glasses, her hair color, eye color, expressions, everything. But she also had braided pigtails and _not_ a stylish new haircut.

Instead of breaking down or breaking things, Kaname grinned.

"Gotcha, you bastard," she gloated and reached for the phone on her desk.

Del picked up on the second ring.

"What do you want, Chidori? We're kind of busy here," Del said.

Kaname didn't bother with the customary greetings. "Hey, is there any unusual activity in Turkey, maybe Istanbul?"

"Yeah, but it's weird. Like a whole bunch of enemy stuff rolled in overnight out of nowhere. We were working on a plan to deal with it when you so rudely interrupted," Del explained.

Kaname could her the hesitation in her voice. "You don't sound so sure."

"It feels...off. Yeah, I'm not convinced it's the real deal," Del answered.

"What about around Merida Island? There's nothing, right?"

"Correction: there's a _fat lot_ of nothing. You gunning for my job or what?"

"Put Bear on. I got fresh intel," Kaname said, still grinning like a fiend.

Del didn't bother to hide the skepticism in her voice. "Oh yeah? From where?"

"From the stupidest genius of all time. Now get Bear!"

* * *

A/N: Thanks to catbaker for beta-ing this chapter. She's a star.


	17. Battle, Part One

Kaname blinked hard and reached for the phone's receiver. Her hands did not shake as she punched in the long string of digits. She knew the last ten by heart, and when the connection opened with a distant click, she caught herself expecting Kyoko's voice to answer.

Of course, that was impossible. Something was jamming cell phone towers across Japan and beyond. More specifically, most of the Pacific Rim was reporting glitches in cell phone, radio, and satellite transmissions. The news media called it an unfortunate side effect of a tremendous solar flare. People complained, but no one panicked. A few overzealous backyard astronomers were probably hauling out their UV filters to try and catch a glimpse of the sun spots as Kaname listened to the phone on the other end of the line ring once, then twice.

People did not know what Kaname knew.

All morning long, the something that darkened civilian communication lines had spread like a shadow across Mithril's outlying outposts. Dunedin missed a call-in. An hour later, Helsinki failed to report. Anchorage went dark next. Burma followed soon after. The bases were small, more like offices really, and run by a four-man team at most. If Mithril hadn't been on high alert, the silence from these tiny branches might have gone unnoticed.

The phone rang for a third time.

For all Amalgam knew, Mithril hadn't noticed the missed check-ins because it went to no special effort to re-establish communication with the rogue posts. It certainly did not send in re-enforcements to rush to anyone's rescue. Amalgam might assume from its inaction that Mirthil was oblivious to the attacks or, perhaps, too occupied with other matters to respond. Kaname knew, however, that Mithril feigned sleep to draw the enemy close enough to kill.

A fourth ring echoed through the line.

Kaname wondered if the men and women stationed at the darkened posts had families. She wondered she knew any of them.

Leonard picked up on the fifth ring. He probably had been confirming that the call wasn't equipped with a tracer. It wasn't. Leonard's position in the world mattered very little because it would change at any moment, but Kaname hoped that Leonard would take the untapped call as a gesture of good faith. Kaname needed to know something far more important than one man's position.

He breathed her name like a lover's sigh as a greeting. "_Kaname_."

Kaname felt her anger and adrenaline shoot through her like lightning through a rod, and she opted not to hide it. She didn't need to. Leonard would expect her anger.

"What have you done to her?" she menaced.

Leonard would think that she meant Kyoko, but Kaname knew that her best friend from high school was safe in Tokyo. Aside from Wraith's tip, an intelligence agent stationed in Japan had confirmed that no one had reported Kyoko missing, but Mithril was too short-staffed in the crisis to confirm it visually. Kaname was referring to the girl in the video, the one who had the misfortune of falling into Leonard's grasp for having a face that too closely resembled Kyoko's.

"According to my people, she is resting," Leonard smirked. "I really don't know myself. I'm on my way to see you, after all, and the poor girl is in no condition for travel. I'll be sure to tell her that you asked after her. She'll be so happy."

"You're disgusting," Kaname spat.

"Now, now. Mind your manners, pet, or I'll need to punish you when I see you," Leonard simpered. "I will see you very soon, won't I?"

"That's the reason that I had to call," Kaname explained. "I can't make it. I'm trying, but I can't."

"Try _harder,_" Leonard hissed.

"Look, Istanbul is some sort of hot zone right now, and I'm in R&D. They have no reason to let me rush into a combat area," Kaname lied. "No one is approving non-essential transportation. I need more time."

"You will_ not _miss our rendezvous," Leonard threatened.

"What do you want me to do?" Kaname yelled back. "Swim there?"

"I don't care what you have to do!" Leonard roared. "Get there!"

His temper surprised Kaname into speechlessness. She heard Leonard clear his throat, and when he spoke again, his voice was dulcet and calm again. "You'll find a way, my dear Kaname, to come to me. I know what your friend means to you. You won't fail her by leaving me waiting or trying something silly like sending someone else in your place. You're such an extraordinary girl. I can hardly wait to see you tomorrow."

The line went dead. Kaname felt like she could breath again.

Auntie patted her on the shoulder. "Good. I take it that it went as we expected?"

"He won't change the original plan and expressed anger when I asked for more time, just like you thought he would," Kaname reported. "I think we're right. Leonard isn't running the show."

"Then he has no control over the time table," Auntie sighed and rubbed at her tired eyes. "Oh well. It was worth the effort. If we had been able to get even a few extra hours, it would have aided us greatly."

"I'm sorry," Kaname said sincerely.

Auntie shook her head and reached for the phone herself. "Don't be. If it weren't for you, we would all be dead by tomorrow. Now, please pardon me. I need to authorize the evacuation order."

Kaname saluted and left the room. She was almost to the elevator in Building F when the alarms sounded. The first set of transports would leave in the next ten minutes. By morning, Merida Island would be emptied in preparation for the impending attack.

In a perverted way, Kaname might have been flattered by Leonard's attempt to keep her clear of danger. He had defied his organization to make contact with Cricket and extract information about her. He killed the boy to keep their meeting a secret. He had found a girl who so closely resembled Kyoko that Kaname wouldn't have suspected the difference without Wraith's help. Auntie told her that the increased security in Japan after a terrorist had bombed an airport likely made the kidnapping of the actual Kyoko too dangerous for Leonard; his associates in Amalgam might have been alerted to his movements. Lastly, Leonard had staged the video and found a way to get his message to Kaname in advance of Amalgam's offensive to assure that she wouldn't be on Merida Island when the attack came. He wanted her in Istanbul, where nothing was happening despite the faulty reports of enemy units in the area.

Leonard went to all that trouble because he wanted her safe. He worked so hard to protect her. It was almost sweet.

Because of his misplaced devotion, Kaname could give Mithril an opening against Amalgam. They would change Amalgam's surprise attack into an ambush. They wouldn't waste a single solider on the fake-out in Istanbul.

It should have made her feel useful, but somewhere in the world, another one of Mithril's post was going dark. The halls of Building F were filling with evacuees heading to the surface to make their escape. The men and women walked calmly and quickly to the elevators while Kaname could only stand there and do nothing.

It felt so much like giving up that Kaname turned and slammed her fist into the wall.

She hadn't heard from Sousuke in over a week.

* * *

Melissa only half-listened to the thin scientist-type at the front of the room. She recognized him from the Lambda driver training and knew that the guy was some sort of development guru. Still, it was so boring to listen to him go on and on about the process that went into building the new Syn-type AS. She didn't care about how many Whispereds dumped their brains into the production of the prototype. All that mattered to Melissa was that her performance in training had qualified her to pilot one. The only information that Melissa wanted to know was whether she could make it work. Of course, no one in the room could tell her that.

She poured over the specs on the small desktop in front of her as that stupid man droned on about alloys. Melissa breathed a little easier when she noted how similar the Syn was to her familiar M-9. The Lambda driver pack and necessary cooling unit made the Syn a little more top-heavy than her M-9, but the control lay-out was a mirror image of her old cockpit and the raw power output was within her accustomed range. The sensitivity levels on the controls were way too high for her liking. If they had any time for adjustments, that issue would have been top on her list of requests for the engineering team. She could stand to have the stabilization harness customized to her size, too, but Mithril didn't have a spare second for anything other than this lame briefing. All the Syns had to be in position to defend Merida Island by midnight even though the intelligence report suggested that the attack wouldn't come until near dawn.

There were eight of them total: Melissa and the new kid from Urzu, Kurz from Gebo, three guys from the Atlantic squad, one from the Mediterranean, and one from the Asia land group. When the group had assembled, their number had surprised Melissa although she couldn't say if she had been expecting fewer or more AS pilots to pass the Lambda training.

Her eyes flicked over her team. She knew most of them already and had worked with at least half of them directly on other missions. She understood that they were all good soldiers and decent people. Still, Melissa felt out-of-place and jittery. It wasn't because she was the only woman in the room either. She had gotten used to that disappointing aspect of the armed services a long time ago. What bothered Melissa was the age of the others. Even though Melissa had only recently turned 26, she was easily the oldest pilot in the group.

Suddenly, the other guys were moving, and it occurred to Melissa that the briefing was over. They would have fifteen minutes to memorize the specs and battle codes in private before they would report to the hanger to climb into their brand new Syns for the initial power-up sequence.

Melissa took longer than necessary to stand up, stretch, and gather up her binders. As she hoped, Kurz did likewise. The rest of the guys filed out. For a moment, they were alone in the small room with the rows of now-empty desks.

"I don't suppose that you can say what you need to say in less than a minute," Kurz joked.

He was right. There wasn't time to say even a fraction of what she needed to tell him, so Melissa didn't try to explain her heart. She left her notebook on her desk, took the two steps to close the distance between them, and wrapped Kurz in her arms.

For once in his life, Kurz didn't say anything. Maybe he was too shocked to speak, but somehow, Melissa doubted it. He held her and breathed in the scent of her hair. Melissa hated that she couldn't stop time and tell him everything that he deserved to know.

"Don't die," she managed to say.

"Hey Weber! You coming?" someone called from the corridor.

She felt him exhale somewhere near her right ear before he pulled away from her. His hands trailed across her back, slid down her waist, and hesitated at her hips before he finally let her go.

"Yeah. Be right there," Kurz shouted to the person in the hall before looking back at her with that cock-sure grin that he had practically trade-marked. His next words, however, were quiet and for her alone. "Take care of yourself."

Melissa nodded once while her feet stayed fixed to the floor, and he backed away. It was such a little thing, but she wanted him to be the one to leave first.

Melissa caught the flash of mischief in his eyes a split second before his hand darted out to grab at her chest. She knocked the offending limb away, and Kurz laughed.

"Damn. Maybe next time, if I live that long," he chuckled. Kurz raised one hand to wave at her as he made his escape from her rising anger. "See ya, Sis."

Melissa itched to go after him. She couldn't tell if she wanted to punch him or kiss him, so she did nothing. She watched Kurz walk out the door, and that was it. He left her alone to pick up her notebook and steel herself for a brave new world. She couldn't let regret undermine her resolution. They were soldiers first and individuals in whatever spare time remained. Melissa didn't have the luxury of day-dreaming about what would happen if she and Kurz both made it to the other side of tomorrow. She only had fourteen minutes to prepare to pilot a machine with more potential destructive force than an H-bomb. She wanted to be ready.

* * *

"Are you bored?" Al asked when Sousuke opted to take the precaution of ripping the legs off the Savage smoking on the floor of the jungle before advancing toward their target.

"No," Sousuke ground out.

The broken machine at his feet was the third Savage he had encountered on this mission, which was a good sign. On the last four missions, he had been challenged only by tanks or heavy artillery.

The sensors rang out a warning as a spray of bullets struck the right flank of the Arbalest. Sousuke turned and laid down cover fire without registering that the enemy threat was nothing more than a few guys with semi-automatics hiding in the brush. The caliber of the ammo in the Arbalest's weapons could pierce the armor of tanks, so using so many rounds on a couple of infantry men was a little overkill. Nothing would be left to identify the bodies. Sousuke almost regretted his reaction.

"Movement detected," Al informed him.

"I see them," Sousuke said.

Maybe twenty or so enemy soldiers were running through the underbrush. The gunmen that Sousuke had just shredded had been trying to create a division while the others attempted an escape.

Sousuke decided not to fire and used the radio to call in the sighting to the ground forces. Tactically, Arbalest needed to move as quickly as possible to surprise the potential Amalgam base before the enemy could stage a counter-attack. On a personal level, Sousuke did not wish to reduce the fleeing men to fist-sized chunks of flesh.

"Are you angry?" Al asked.

"No," Sousuke replied sharply.

"You sound angry," Al reasoned.

"I'm irritated by your annoying questions," Sousuke explained.

"Your unusual behavior precipitated my annoying questions," Al reminded him. "Are you irritated by something other than me?"

"Guess," Sousuke said.

The jungle parted to reveal a solitary bunker under a mock canopy of green tarps shredded to resemble actual foliage from the air. The clearing covered approximately twenty acres, although the bunker itself was disappointingly small. It might serve as HQ for a decent-sized local guerilla group, but the amateurish design and clearly exposed power generator showed that the bunker was not home to a branch of an organization clever enough and strong enough to challenge Mithril.

Another false lead.

Broken bits of war machines littered the clearing floor, which when combined with the relative size of the mock canopy probably accounted for the misreading from the Intelligence division that had marked the location as a potential Amalgam base. It was an understandable errors, but Sousuke had no patience left to forgive such mistakes. Urzu had been on the move constantly for over a week, and all they had to show for their errors were four, soon to be five, smoking craters and no fresh leads on Amalgam.

"Uzru-7 to Urzu 1. Target confirmed. It's nothing again, sir," Sousuke said into the radio.

"Urzu-1. Copy that, Urzu-7. Proceed to point A for pick-up. We'll bomb it down and get home in time for supper," Clouseau replied.

Sousuke hoped that his commander told the truth- that they could head back to TDD-1 for the first time since their wild goose chase had started to take a break. It was reasonable and advisable that Mithril should move on the best intel to counter Amalgam's preparations, but the toll on the Urzu team was starting to show. Sousuke had caught himself yawning. It was very unlike him.

Sousuke also hoped that he would have time to send out a quick message to Kaname before their next mission. She would likely be worried about him, and Sousuke had learned from experience that a worried Kaname is an angry Kaname.

"You are irritated by the misinformation. You think we are wasting time," Al said.

"What makes you think that?" Sousuke asked absently. Moving though the jungle in a giant robot without creating a wake in the vegetation visible from the air requires focus and deliberation, neither of which Sousuke had in good supply at the moment.

Kaname would be upset with him, but he wanted to write to her or call her, even just for a minute. He wanted to hear her voice and know that she was still safe on Merida Island.

"Because none of the targets have been the enemy that we seek," Al concluded. "Our efforts have been pointless."

"Something like that," Sousuke confirmed. "Can you stay quiet now? I'm trying to concentrate."

"You're no fun," Al pouted but obeyed.

Sousuke wondered if it was possible for artificial intelligence programs to get tired.

After fifteen minutes of laborious trudging through the forest, Arbalest arrived at the pick-up point and stepped into the natural meadow. Despite the bad headwind and rocky outcroppings, the massive transport helicopter descended low enough to latch onto the shoulders of the AS and lifted it into the sky. This was no small feat considering that both machines were cloaked at the time.

Two M-9s would fit under the belly of a single transport, but the Lambda driver pack on the back of the Arbalest left no room for a second unit. Sousuke rode solo and usually last in the pick-up order. He also went in first for the initial drop because they were always on the alert for the enemy. It didn't make sense to send an M-9 out ahead if there was a chance that a Venom was lurking around, and Amalgam seemed to have no shortage of that type of unit. The first-in, last-out policy wouldn't have bothered Sousuke in the past, but it grated on his nerves now. He hoped that Mithril could train up more pilots with Lambda drivers as soon as possible. He couldn't keep doing it alone forever.

Sousuke listened to the other pilots bantering but felt no need to contribute. No one had addressed him specifically anyway. Even though Urzu was still his team, Sousuke's extended time in Tokyo and then in Mithril Command Academy made him something of an outsider. In the past, Sousuke had at least understood the Urzu guys' inside jokes, even though he rarely found them entertaining. Now, he felt like they were speaking another language. With Kurz gone to Gebo and Mao called away, Sousuke felt like a stranger on his own team. It was so odd how much moments like these made his heart ache for Kaname.

The guy operating his transport helicopter opened a private channel. "Urzu-7, we've been asked to confirm target destruction. Hope you don't mind sticking around to watch the fireworks."

Sousuke set his jaw. He did mind, even though a few minutes wouldn't make much of difference.

"It's not a problem," he lied.

The helicopter swung around in a wide arch, so Sousuke felt rather than saw the missile smash into the bunker and detonate. The shock wave rattled the entire AS, which lead Sousuke to suspect that he wasn't the only one frustrated by eight days of chasing ghosts. The missile payload for a bunker of that size should have been too small to cause such a disturbance. Someone had felt like making a big boom.

The helicopter righted itself and dropped to a tree-skimming altitude to confirm the bunker's complete annihilation. Sousuke switched the view on his display to angle almost directly down. He saw the tree-tops and then the smoldering hole where the bunker had been. A ten-foot tall fire devoured the fuel supply where the generator had once stood, but the rest of the area had been flattened by the explosion.

The helicopter pilot must have seen it as soon as Sousuke did.

"Hey Urzu-7, what do you make of that?" he asked over the private line.

At the center of the bunker's blasted remains, a rectangular hole as large as the foundation of a house dropped like a bottomless well into the earth. The corners were too exact to be natural and the depth of the hole too great to serve as a basement. Sousuke remembered the warehouse back on Merida Island and wondered if the now-destroyed bunker was only a disguise for a vent.

"I don't know. I'm going to sound it out," Sousuke reported back to the helicopter pilot.

"Be my guest," he answered. "Ready when you are."

"Display a thermal read," Sousuke ordered Al.

"Curiouser and curiouser," Al remarked and switched the display from optical to thermal.

Sousuke didn't have much control over the arms of his AS since it was bolted by the shoulders to the helicopter, but he didn't need much range of motion to pop out his gun and point it straight down into the hole. He fired three times in rapid succession. The darkness swallowed the blasts. For a moment it seemed like they had simply disappeared, but then Sousuke saw the heat rushing from the bowels of the earth like magma to the surface.

"Fuck!" the pilot swore as the column of rising steam enveloped the aircraft.

The helicopter dipped starboard to duck out of the spray. Sousuke saw the thermal display clear from solid white to the normal tones of green and blues, but the sensors were so overloaded from the heat of the steam that the red streaks racing toward them did not appear right away.

"Someone is shooting at us," Al remarked a fraction of a second before the first enemy shots ripped through the transport's stabilization rotor.

* * *

Tessa resisted the urge to raise her voice. When she started yelling, she started shrieking, and her voice sounded young and foolish even to her own ears when she shrieked. She fought to keep each word measured and calm. "Pilot fatigue could play a factor, but it remains a non-issue. Assigning Arbalest to the defense force on Merida Island is detrimental to the other pilots, not to Sergeant Sagara."

The holographic image to her left removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. "We have all read Miss Chidori's reports, but the matter remains. Should the new Syn pilots fail to activate the Lambda drivers, another line of defense is a necessity."

"Yet the presence of a perceived savior may very well prevent the Syn pilots from reaching the emotional levels necessary to start their Lambda drivers," Tessa argued. It seemed like basic logic to her. A pilot needed to harness the emotional turbulence of panic in order to trigger the Lambda driver, and panic was unlikely if the pilots thought that they could rely on Sousuke to fight for them.

The holograph of a woman with cross-shaped earrings nodded in agreement. "If we provide a back-up plan, we almost guarantee that we will need it. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy."

The image to Tessa's left replaced his glasses. "Yet we have no guarantee that the Syn is a viable mechanism. If field-testing the new AS units is a priority, which we can all agree that it is, then wouldn't it be prudent to distribute a few Syns to other zones as precautions and rely on a proven weapon in the key battle?"

"Our enemy knows of our reliance on Arbalest," the woman in earrings countered. "It is unlikely that they would act the part of the aggressor without some confidence that they have a counter-measure for our best known weapon."

"But Amalgam has no reason to suspect that Mithril anticipates an attack on Merida Island. Why would we keep our best weapon at our supposedly secret base?" the man in glasses reasoned.

"The enemy might be depending on a well-coordinated attack and sheer numbers to overwhelm us," agreed another official.

"While I see your logic, I am loath to underestimate Amalgam at this point," an older man sighed.

"Our best course of action is to assume that Amalgam has a plan for dispatching Arbalest, and so our best hope is the Syns," the woman in earrings explained. "And the only way to provide the Syn pilots with the ideal conditions to imprint with their AIs and activate their Lambda drivers is to withhold Arbalest's support."

"I remain unconvinced," the man with glasses stated.

Tessa wanted to stand up, slam her fist on the table, and shout, "And I remain confident in the abilities of our people!" but a flashing red light on her console demanded her immediate attention.

She read it twice while the argument swirled around her before Tessa tapped in the right codes to forward the report to the accounts of the faces present around her table.

She hid her wicked smirk as silence descended in the room as the other members opened and read her transmission.

"It appears our decision has been made for us," the man with glasses observed.

"So that's where they've been hiding," someone chuckled.

"Please pardon me," Tessa said coolly. "It appears that my attention is needed elsewhere."

She tapped the buttons to close out her session and nearly tripped over her own feet in her rush to get to the bridge. She skimmed the wall with one hand to avoid falling as she sprinted along her submarine's pathways.

"Report!" Tessa shouted over the buzz of activity as she threw the door open to the bridge.

"All SRT units are returning to the drop-off point. ETA five minutes," Mardukas told her.

"And Urzu-7?" Tessa dared to ask.

"We don't know yet," Mardukas said in a low voice.

* * *

They fell like comets, burning against the night-dark sky.

The ice that had accumulated on Amalgam's elite fleet of AS units from the high altitude drop had burned off and streaked behind the lithe mechanical forms as they fell. Their trails stopped when the machines crossed into the lower atmosphere, and Kurz could use his long-range sensors to track them. Four Venom-types as red as devils flanked the unknown silver unit in the center. Their heat shields glowed from the air friction as they neared the earth, and the roar of the back thrusters as they fought to control the descent sounded like the high note of a horn.

The cocky bastards hadn't even bothered to mask their coming with ECS cloaking.

"Impact in twenty seconds," Betty, the AI program in Kurz's new Syn, prompted him. She had a sexy South Carolina drawl in her voice, but Betty's personality veered to business professional. Kurz couldn't say that he liked her.

Kurz double-checked the scope on his cannon. He cursed himself when he over-corrected his right hand, and it tipped the scope on his weapon out of alignment. The controls were so sensitive that even Kurz's normally smooth movements came out jerky. Everything in the Syn felt wound too tight, like the guts of a clock.

"Your control needs work," Betty reprimanded him.

"Yeah, I'll get right on that," Kurz muttered under his breath. He tapped the scope back into place and lined up his target. "Betty, are their Lambda drivers active?"

"Negative. The equipment cannot stabilize under the stress of a long drop."

"How much time until they can power up once they hit the ground?"

"I do not know," Betty replied.

Kurz took aim at the cooling unit on the back of the nearest enemy AS. The speed of the drop made taking a shot risky. It would give away his position too soon, so he waited until the unit in his sights collided with the earth. It disappeared into its own impact crater for a moment, but the top of the cooling system peeked out over the rim when it recovered and stood to its full height.

"Here goes nothing," Kurz said and then fired.

They all fired. Kurz couldn't stop himself from keeping tabs on Melissa, so he saw her blast the intruders from her position under the tree line. The other Mithril guys let loose at the same moment, and it might have been beautiful to see all the rocket fire blazing except that Kurz was too scared of dying to muse on things like beauty.

There were eight Syns hiding around the island, and five enemy AS units on the ground. The numbers favored them, but Kurz couldn't bring himself to feel optimistic. No one had been able to activate the Lambda Driver from a Syn yet. They would test their training in the crucible of combat.

A hailstorm of energy blasts shot through the blue-black morning towards the newly arrived enemies and then ricocheted away harmlessly. The silver AS leapt out of its impact crater and held up one hand. A pulse of pure energy rippled out from its palm, and Kurz felt his Syn skittering backwards across the uneven turf from the unknown force. A Venom unit noticed his involuntary change of position and pounced..

"Enemy approaching," Betty chirped.

"I see him," Kurz breathed. "I see him."

Kurz burst up from his hiding place because it was clear that he had been spotted. The Venom was already rushing in.

They fought like regular AS units in the beginning. Kurz had to abandon his rifle-style gun in favor of a shorter-range weapon. When the Venom sent that gun flying into the surf, Kurz brought out his blade. Neither was able to activate the driver in those first few minutes.

A stray missile from the raging battle out to sea between the craft in Mithril's ambush and the attacking Amalgam forces crash landed on the island and exploded in a bright globe of orange light. The predictions of the higher ups in Command seemed to be right on. Amalgam hoped to use the small AS team to take over the island quickly to preserve the stock of technology hidden underground and as many structures as possible above it. The oceanic fleets were not targeting the island directly because Amalgam wanted to acquire a new base out of the attack.

Kurz had faked out his guy with a neat feint and brought his blade down to jam it into the back of his enemy when an iridescent bubble of energy welled up from the Venom's Lambda driver. It blossomed outward, and Kurz nearly panicked because he thought that he and Betty were at ground zero for another energy bomb like the one that the silver AS had unleashed when it arrived. It must have been that millisecond of conflict between Kurz's control and his pure panic that caused a second field to materialize around Kurz's Syn.

"Lambda driver engaged," Betty announced.

"Now we're talking," Kurz grinned. It had worked just like Kaname had told him that it would. His instinct for survival triggered the Lambda driver's defense.

The enemy fell on him again before Kurz could gloat, but the defensive force fields around both machines made the duel into a game of bumper cars. The units charged at one another with deathly intent and then harmlessly bounced away, repelled by each other's defenses. It might have been fun, but Kurz heard a scream through the radio. While he dinked around in an awkward dance partnered with his Venom, his colleagues were fighting to the death. His frustration level shot up. It hadn't been Melissa's voice crying out in pain on the line, but it was one of the good guys going down. Kurz needed to take the fight to the next level. He took a breath and thought about Mao falling away from him just like he always did when he worked with the training boxes. Something shifted in the controls. He felt lighter, almost buoyant. Kurz stretched out to channel the energy into his foe.

Nothing happened.

The enemy tackled him, and the defensive shielding caused Kurz's Syn to bounce away from his opponent. He landed on the shoulders, and the legs of the machine crashed down on an empty barrack with a dry cracking sound. His peripheral sensor caught a glimpse of the silver AS blasting through two Syns at once. The Syns fractured along their joint lines and came apart like children's toy blocks. A weird force suspended the pieces in the air long enough for Kurz to see clean through the breaks zigzagging through the Syns' frames before a supernatural wind blew them apart.

"Holy shit!" someone's voice came over the line.

Kurz could taste the blood in his mouth from where he had bitten the inside of his cheek on impact, and he wondered if the power of the silver AS had split the pilots in those Syns into neat chunks along with their machines.

In that terrible second, the cold realization that it was all about to end washed over Kurz. All of his training amounted to nothing against the destructive power of the silver AS. Preparation was a lie of the mind that let Kurz believe that talent, practice, and a dash of good luck would protect him forever.

"Kurz!" Betty cried.

The Venom was falling on him with a pulsing ball of light gathering in its left hand. His opponent had figured how to switch from defense to offense.

Kurz finally understood why Sousuke referred the Lambda Driver's power as magic. There wasn't a trick to it. No bunny in the hat. It was a force beyond understanding or prediction. Kurz raised his hand in surrender to this force that lived beyond him and ask for its help.

The eruption of color and lightning that shot from his Syn's hand collided with the Venom as enemy machine fell on him. The Venom's protective bubble buckled and popped like a swollen blister, and the nameless thing that had come to Kurz's aid ripped through his opponent's machine and flung its pieces backwards in a perfect arch.

It made no sense. Kurz was about to die, and then suddenly he had killed his enemy. It felt so strange.

"There are more," Betty reminded him.

"I know," Kurz panted.

"They are here," Betty warned.

"I know."

The armor of Kurz's Syn let out a metallic scream as the silver AS flung it into the air.

* * *

Once in Colombia, Sousuke had stepped on an ant mound. The black-bodied insects had flowed out of their burrow in rivulets of angry manacles that marched up his boots and legs. They had forced him to sacrifice a good position to avoid death by a thousand tiny bites.

The way that Amalgam's forces swelled up from the ground to swarm him reminded Sousuke of those ants.

He was large and powerful, but they were many and clever. They started jamming his communicator as soon as the first volley struck the helicopter; Sousuke couldn't even broadcast out an SOS. They raced into the flames caused by the crash landing to tear at him. One sliced the cable that attached his heel to his leg, and now Arbalest limped. Like a beleaguered giant, Sousuke fought with them. He blasted them until his ammo ran dry. He picked them up and hurled them against the massive trunks of old-growth trees. He stepped on them. He sliced them apart. There were always more, and unlike a human, the legion of miniature AS units felt no pain. Even half of one would still claw at him or climb up his back to thrust a metal hand into a joint and yank out a fistful of wires.

Sousuke looked to the sky and wished that he knew how to pray for help.

Whoever had designed the base built it for secrecy first. Unlike Merida Island, which depended on sheer isolation for protection, Amalgam's base in Venezuela used camouflage. The thick vegetation disguised the pipelines and electrical wiring that linked the series of underground buildings. The tops of the structure lifted straight up like a hydraulic press instead of flipping open like flap to preserve the jungle that lived above it. From a satellite, the raised section of jungle would look like a bit of a hill or a group of exceptionally tall trees. No one would see the men and equipment slipping in and out of the structures below the canopy of tree branches.

The destroyed bunker had served dual purposes. First, it disguised the large air vent that allowed Amalgam's underground city to breath. Second, it threw off suspicion. If any odd activity was recorded in the area, as Mithril's intelligence branch had observed, then an investigation of the area would turn up the dumpy bunker. Finding nothing at all would raise alerts and might warrant a closer look, but the bunker was big enough and obvious enough to play the part of the straw man.

The disguise had worked until someone on the TDD-1 decided to go overboard on the explosives, which blasted away the entire bunker to leave the air vent exposed. An expected payload on a missile bound for a target of the bunker's size would have left enough debris and rubble to hide at least most of the vent's hole. Sousuke and the transport's pilot would have seen nothing but a blown-out building and been on their merry way.

It was chance that led him to discover Amalgam's base, but Sousuke couldn't say that it was good luck as his second to last external sensor blinked out.

"This is bad," Al remarked.

"Is it ready now?" Sousuke shouted.

Everything had been powered down in preparation for the flight, including the Lambda driver. Now it was a race to see if the driver could be ready before human-sized mechanical hands could tear out the system.

With only one sensor, Sousuke couldn't much of anything. Arbalest tripped over something and crashed into the earth. Sousuke forced a roll onto his back to protect the Lambda driver. The swarm of little AS units covered him as soon as he hit the ground.

It happened like magic because it wasn't there and he was dying, and then it was everywhere and he could breath again. Sousuke couldn't see it happen; his lone sensor only saw forward, which meant that Sousuke could only see sky as Arbalest lay on its back. Even without seeing at it, Sousuke could feel his will manifest around his AS like a second skin and then flash outward. He sensed that his power had cut down his enemies and cleared a protective ring around him. The wave of energy from the Lambda driver must have destroyed the communication jammer as well because Sousuke's radio came alive with noise. Hails lit up every frequency, and the messages overlapped and ran together.

"Shit!"

"-dead."

"Sagara, don't!"

"Urzu-9 to Uzru-1, do you copy?"

"He's fucking dead. Oh god."

"Do you copy? Damn it, answer me!"

"Oh god. There's nothing left."

"Urzu-7, stop! It's _us_."

Sousuke forced Arbalest to sit up and physically turn from right to left, so the one remaining sensor could see the scene.

While he had been fighting half-blind and in silence, his SRT team must have caught wind of trouble and returned to help him. Sousuke recognized Yang's voice on the line and remembered that Urzu-9 had been first in line for pick-up. If Yang was there, then all of Urzu would have had time to return. Sousuke should have been able to see six friendly AS units.

He did a second scan and counted slowly to be sure, but Sousuke couldn't bring himself believe it. In the newly flattened forest, he noted the broken remains of countless miniature AS units, but he could see only three of Urzu's M-9s.

Suddenly, Tessa's voice was in his ears, and the tears in her voice drowned out all other sound.

"Sousuke," she wept. "I know it's not your fault..."


	18. Battle, Part Two

They came sooner than expected, but then again, Melissa had heard the rumor buzzing through Mithril before she climbed into her Syn. Normally, she tuned out anything on the gossip circuit because, really, why bother? People talk an awful lot and say very little. Melissa only half-listened to what the engineers in the hanger bay were saying because she heard the word 'Urzu'. One of the engineers had whispered something about her unit stumbling across an Amalgam base.

Melissa hoped, for once, that the rumor was true. The early arrival of Amalgam's attack squad on Merida Island certainly hinted that someone had stepped up their plans. The higher-ups were just paranoid enough to make sure the Syn team and the ring of battle cruisers were in place hours before the expected attack, so when Amalgam showed up just after 0100 hours instead of 0600, Mithril stood at the ready. The bad news was that the evacuation of the Merida's staff was incomplete, and one of the underground buildings had been converted to serve as a make-shift shelter to protect the few remaining, non-soldier types on the island. Melissa thought about Kaname and wondered if she had gotten off the island in time.

As the enemy Arm Slaves fell from the sky, Melissa turned off her external communicators for a moment.

"Hey, Daniel?" she addressed the AI program installed in her Syn. "I have no idea what I'm doing here, so feel free to help at any time, okay?"

"Understood, Melissa. You will need me," Daniel droned.

"Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence," Melissa muttered to herself. It was the third time that Daniel had taken a pot shot at her abilities. Melissa had the strong desire to hold a few strong magnets up to his circuits. Fortunately for Daniel, the cold hand of fear on her neck had Melissa so anxious that she wouldn't refuse any help, even if it came from a haughty AI.

"I would like to suggest that you target the enemy units as soon as they make landfall. There is a chance that they will not be able to activate their Lambda drivers immediately," Daniel suggested in a tone that sounded both bored and condescending.

"Sure," Melissa said. She made a mental note to check with the other guys to see if their Syns' AI personalities were as charming as Daniel, provided she could avoid getting blasted into disjointed molecules before then.

Amalgam's forces struck the earth, and a tremor shook her Syn. The vibration caused Melissa's first shots to go wide, which lead Daniel to tut his disapproval, but even a deadly accurate shot wouldn't have made a difference. The damn silver AS knocked every shot away before a single one could make impact, and Melissa snagged the trunk of a tree to avoid being blown away by the subsequent wave of energy.

"Shit, this is going to suck," Melissa cursed aloud to no one.

"Please focus," Daniel scolded.

"Oh, shut up," Melissa snapped.

The Venoms split up and pounced on any Syn whose position had been revealed by the shock wave. Melissa saw one lunge for Kurz, and even though she wanted to run to his aid, the Syn on her left had been partly paralyzed in the silver AS's power. Now a Venom loomed over it with its blade raised to strike.

Melissa dropped one shoulder to line up the Venom in her sights and fired. The bullets ground to a halt as they neared the Venom and then dropped harmlessly to the ground when they touched the dome of bluish light surrounding her enemy.

The Venom's blade crashed down, but the Syn on the ground managed to roll out of the way and squeeze off a few rounds aimed at the Venom's underbelly. Like her rounds, these shots slowed and fell down like pebbles in a pool as they approached the Venom. Another Syn leapt up from its hiding place to tackle their opponent. The wall of blue light surrounding the Venom blinked and sputtered as it collided with the white force field around this new Syn, and Melissa whooped in sheer joy that someone on her side had been able to activate the Lambda driver.

The two combatants wrestled. The Lambda drivers released loose bands of colored light that whipped across the island, leaving wide gashes of destruction wherever they touched earth. Melissa dodged and bobbed as she ran towards the battle to avoid getting sliced in half. In her peripheral vision, she could see another Syn rushing forward as well. She knew the enemy Venom wouldn't survive the three-on-one attack. It just had to happen fast, before the silver AS could step in.

The Syn locked in hand-to-hand combat with the Venom lifted up its opponent and threw the red machine between Melissa and the teammate. Both of them fired at the enemy as it tumbled through the air. Melissa noted that at least a few shots made it through the force field because bursts of smoke dotted the Venom's form as it smashed into the earth.

Melissa leapt onto the toppled form as soon as it hit the ground, jammed her gun between the neck and shoulder joint, and fired. The shots bounced away, and the Venom used its will to fling her back 200 yards into a bunker-style building. The other Syn took advantage of the Venom's distraction to press its weapon into the Venom's back and blow a hole that went clean through to the front. Melissa could see starlight through the enemy unit.

Her vision blurred into light and shadow, and Melissa became aware of pain. The stablization harness was too big for her, so it hadn't held her in place when her machine smashed into the bunker. She had hit her head.

"This is bad," Daniel observed as Melissa closed her eyes and willed them to see right again.

When she opened them, the silver AS stood between her and the other Syns. Its broad back was to her. The monstrous machine raised its hand, and her allies rose slightly into the air as if a clumsy puppeteer had carelessly jerked up on his marionettes. Melissa watched in horror as the Syns cracked into neat, sharp-edged pieces and blew apart.

Melissa tried to take a deep breath to regain her control as the silver AS turned its head to stare at her, but its blank eyes made her breathing ragged and uneven. It pivoted to face her Syn, and her breath stopped altogether. She could see sparks gathering in its fingers. She tried, begged, prayed to activate her Lambda driver, but her mind refused to see past those flickers of light balling in the silver AS's palms.

All at once, a wall of light crashed over them, but Melissa didn't think about its origin. She only saw that the silver AS looked away from her. Then it moved so quickly that it seemed like teleportation. One second, it was in front of her with her death materializing in its hands. A moment later, it was halfway across the island, lifting another Syn into the air and tossing up to the star-filled sky.

"No!" she shouted because, even though all the Syns looked alike, she knew it was Kurz's Syn in the air.

She knew it was a trap and that the silver AS could have destroyed Kurz's Syn in an instant. It wanted to toy with him and draw the rest of them out of hiding. Her years of training taught her that running headlong into a trap was stupid and a rookie mistake, but Melissa didn't care. She forced her Syn to stand, and then she raced towards the silver AS with the full knowledge that she wouldn't be able to do damn thing against it.

Melissa couldn't lie to herself. She survived the training by sheer luck. She didn't belong in a Syn. Hell, she could barely make full use of the specs on her M-9, and an M-9 could never hope to touch the silver AS. Melissa knew that she was powerless, but she wanted to do something, anything, because it was_ Kurz _baiting the trap, and that stupid, impossible, wonderful jackass needed her.

* * *

Kurz took advantage of his impromptu, aerial view of Merida Island to take stock of the battle.

He could see warships and airplanes dueling out in the night-dark waters. The blinking red and green lights on the ships showed their rough location and direction, and the bursts from explosions brightened separate, random pieces of the scene like a malfunctioning strobe light. A burning plane smashed into a carrier. A set of twin torpedoes leapt up from the sea and zoomed toward a cruiser. From a distance, Kurz couldn't tell which side was winning.

He turned his attention to the ground beneath him. Only four of the original eight Syns remained against two Venoms and the silver AS. The numbers still favored his side, but the silver AS made their advantage nonexistent. Kurz couldn't match an enemy with such control, and from the looks of the remaining Syns on the ground, Kurz was the only remaining Syn pilot with a working Lambda driver. Well, the only working Lambda driver for the moment. A rather painful-looking building was rushing up to meet him as his Syn sped towards the ground.

Kurz raised the Syn's arms to brace for the impact, but the moment before the crash stretched out and out. Kurz found himself wanting it to end, just to get it done, when it occurred to him that his senses weren't playing mean tricks on him. His Syn was actually slowing down and falling gently at an angle that took him away from the pointy-roofed building.

"Betty, am I doing this?" Kurz asked.

"No. Someone else is protecting us," Betty said.

Kurz tucked up the Syn's legs to land in a ready crouch, and the spell that guided him to the ground broke as soon as his feet touched the ground.

To his right, a Syn and a Venom were locked in hand-to-hand combat. Their huge metallic bodies rolled one way and then another, flattening the landscape as they fought for dominance. Neither looked like it had powered up its Lambda driver yet.

"Little help here?" someone asked through the radio.

Kurz switched grips on his blade and lunged forward as the other Syn pinned the Venom on its back. Kurz aimed the tip to spear the Venom's eye, but the enemy must have panicked enough to trip the defenses because Kurz suddenly found it impossible to drive his weapon down any further. Instead of abandoning his plan, Kurz thought about losing Melissa to that awful silver AS to trigger his own panic. He corralling his emotions into a single, painful point. His Lambda driver hummed as it lent its strange power to his movement.

The prone Venom's defenses broke under the new onslaught. Kurz's blade slammed through the Venom's face. The resulting shock wave from the collision of will-driven forces knocked over the wall of the nearest building and several trees. The other Syn was blown back at least a hundred yards.

"Damn, thanks for the help, but with friends like you...." a voice quipped over the radio. Kurz thought it sounded like one of the guys from the Atlantic team.

"Yeah, yeah," Kurz replied.

He ripped his blade out of the Venom's head and turned back to the silver AS. It had its hands raised in front of it, palms forward, and coils of multi-colored rays flowed toward them. If a Syn hadn't been standing between him and the silver AS, Kurz would have been reduced to particles. Somehow, the Syn between them was holding off the silver AS's attack with an incredible wall of energy that shielded itself, Kurz, and the other Syn.

"Move! I can't hold out..." Melissa's voice came over the line, and Kurz realized with awe that she was defending him against that monster. Her Syn trembled as the surges of enemy power crashed into her defensive shield like storm-driven waves into a lighthouse, and the feet of her Syn slipped backward, creating parallel trenches in the earth.

"Shit! I got that last Venom down. I'm fucking toasted, though. Sorry, kids," one of the remaining Syn pilots gasped over the radio. It sounded like the new guy from Urzu.

Kurz did the math. Three remaining Syns- Kurz, Melissa, and the Atlantic pilot- against the silver AS.

"Are you strong enough?" Betty asked as though she could read him thoughts.

"Only one way to find out," Kurz grimaced.

He sprinted forward, burst through Melissa's shielding, and willed his blade to punch through the heart of the silver AS.

* * *

Everything shook and rocked. Even deep within the earth, Kaname could feel the battle raging on the surface through the walls of Building F. It felt like being back on the submarine during Gauron's attack. Only this time, Kaname couldn't shake the feeling of helplessness. At least on the submarine she had been able to do something. Now, she had no communication device or table-top board to help her understand what was going on. The longer that she sat alone in the musty room, the harder it got to believe that they were winning.

Kaname wrestled with the morbid thought that, if she died, they wouldn't have to bother with a burial. She was already in the ground.

Auntie had let Kaname shadow her in the command center before the battle started. They had planned to shift all of Merida's personnel to a secondary location in preparation for the battle, but the plans went awry as Amalgam stepped up its time table. After dozens of fruitless missions, something had turned up in Venezuela, and Amalgam went on the offensive right away. The centers that Bear and Del's group had marked as potential hot zones lit up in the brief hours after the Urzu team had discovered an Amalgam base in the jungle. The fleet that sought to take over Merida Island appeared out of the ocean like phantoms. Auntie had insisted that Kaname stay out of the way after that.

It was difficult not to take offense that no one needed her or wanted her in any way. Kaname knew that she did not have a rank yet, so she couldn't command. She recognized that her limited experience in combat, even with her training at MCA, combined with her temper made her more of a liability than an asset in the war room. She could see the logic behind Auntie's decision to kick her out, but it still felt awful and lonely, like she was an unwanted wallflower at Mithril's big dance.

Kaname kicked at the legs on her desk and hoped for Sousuke's safety, wherever he was,

Someone knocked on the door to Kaname's dim holding cell. "Miss Chidori, you are needed right away."

"Coming!" Kaname nearly shouted. It was all that she could do not to pump her fist in the air and holler, "HELL YEAH!" as she followed the messenger back to the command center.

Auntie raised her eyes from one of the boards as soon as Kaname entered.

"Please look at this," she ordered Kaname.

The screen showed a fractured, birds-eye view of what Kaname assumed was the AS battle happening 60 meters above her. The night-vision on the spy camera colored the whole scene an unnatural green. Three of the new Syns were locked in violent tango with a silver AS. The three allies tried combining forces, attempted jabs from every angle, fired guns, swung blades and fists. Nothing could penetrate the silver AS's defensive shielding. Every few seconds, the enemy AS would summon a ball of light into its hand and shoot it at on the Syns. Sometimes, the Syn could use its own shielding to deflect the attack. Other times, the force found a chink in the barrier and blew away a piece of the Syn.

"Can you see a weakness?" Auntie asked.

Kaname tried to find a vulnerability in the enemy AS, but the harder she looked, the more the perfection of the design dazzled her.

"It's beautiful," Kaname found herself whispering.

"Please focus," Auntie prodded her. Auntie's voice held an edge of irritation, or perhaps it was fear. Kaname had never known Auntie to be upset by anything, so it was difficult to read the instructor.

Kaname tried again, but the elegance of the new AS drew her in. Her fingers reached out, instinctively, to stroke the screen. "It's perfect. Just perfect."

"Shit," Auntie swore.

Auntie never swore. Cold reality awakened Kaname from her reverie.

"I'm sorry, but the Arm Slave doesn't have a fault that we can exploit. We have to depend on pilot error," Kaname explained.

"You don't sound optimistic," Auntie observed.

"I'm not," Kaname went on. "See how his attacks are short-range? He is just doing enough to weaken the Syns bit by bit without threatening the rest of the island. He's toying with them. It's like he built it. The machine and pilot are totally in sync."

"So we don't have a prayer," Auntie sighed.

"If we could figure out a way to distract the pilot, then the Syns would have an opening," Kaname shrugged.

"I wonder... If the pilot built it, he would have to be a Whispered..." Auntie murmured to herself. Her face lit up half a second before Kaname came to the same conclusion.

"Get me a phone!" Kaname ordered the nearest person, a guy in basic fatigues who just gawked at her.

"Phone. Now," Auntie snapped, and the guy came to life, scrambling to fulfill the order. Auntie turned back to Kaname. "Do you need a script?"

"No way." Kaname shook her head. "I got it."

The guy reappeared with a wireless radio phone unit, and Kaname fumbled to recall the right sequence of numbers. Auntie helped, but the last ten came as easily to Kaname as her own name.

"Pick up. Pick up," Kaname pleaded. A familiar ache was building behind her eyes, and Kaname heard a thread of a voice that she knew no one else could hear whispering to her. Looking at the silver AS had triggered the part of her mind that belonged to something else. She didn't have to fake the panic in her voice when Leonard answered.

"Kaname, darling. I am busy," he hissed.

"Oh god. Don't kill her. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Kaname half-sobbed, half-whimpered.

"Where are you?" Leonard said with ice in his voice.

"I'm on base. I couldn't-- I'm sorry," Kaname repeated.

As if on cue, a wall-shaking boom resounded through Building F. Kaname hoped that Leonard could her it. On the screen, Kaname saw a Syn struggling to free its limbs from a newly-splintered grove of trees.

"Where are you?" Leonard asked again.

"Mithril's base!" Kaname cried out.

"Which base?" Leonard prompted.

"I can't tell you--"

"Damn you. I'll kill her. Which one?" Leonard demanded.

"Merida Island," Kaname whispered. "Please, don't hurt her."

The silver AS knocked back the two remaining Syns and turned in a slow circle, as if looking for someone.

"Got you," Auntie said in a low voice. Her hand reached out to catch Kaname's elbow. Kaname hadn't realized that she needed the support until it was given. Her head throbbed.

Auntie nodded her approval, and Kaname pressed on. "Please, you have to believe me. I tried to get to you. I'm so sorry. Please let her go. It's my fault."

Two of the Syn charged their enemy but were knocked away. The shoulder of one Syn burst into flame until the internal system cut the power to that limb. Its arm hung limply at its side as the Syn readied itself for another attack. It manifested a wall of light around its mechanical form and lunged at the enemy once again. The room shook with the impact.

Kaname screamed, and Auntie's surprised face seemed to fade into nothingness as the Whispers swallowed Kaname's mind.

* * *

It wasn't her imagination. The enemy AS hesitated. She had charged it, fully expecting to get blow back or apart, but the push back came a fraction of a second too late. It was as if the silver AS's defensive shielding bent inwards as she had attacked before it snapped back into place and propelled her Syn into the mess hall, which collapsed under the weight of her machine. Melissa's instincts shouted for her to take action, but Kurz was already on the move.

He charged forward with nothing but metal hands as weapons. Melissa's heart went out to him. It really felt like something inside of her had come loose and hurried forward to protect him as he raced into certain death.

All she wanted and couldn't give to him was protection, and she felt worthless, sitting there on a pile of rubble with a blown out shoulder.

Their defenses smashed into each other as the silver AS raced forward to counter the attack. They seemed to freeze in place as the power of their wills collided, and then, almost imperceptibly and unbelievably, Kurz's Syn gained ground. It took one step forward, then another.

The silver AS responded by angling all of its energy forward to fight off Kurz, but it was too late. The third, nearly-forgotten Syn came down behind the silver AS and shoved a beam of unbelievably radiant light into its back.

The silver AS exploded outward. One piece soared upwards into the sky like a rocket.

It was over, at last.

Somehow, she was still alive.

Melissa felt rather than saw the manifestation of her will retract from the battlefield and resettle in her chest before she blacked out.

* * *

Mithril's willingness to organize an emergency transport to take Kaname to a rendezvous point with the TDD-1 in those first raw hours after Amalgam's defeat at Merida Island spoke volumes about the value that they placed on Arbalest. The first clean-up effort on the base was clearing off the landing strip to accommodate Kaname's aircraft.

As she travelled, Kaname read over the report once, then twice. Her clearance had been bumped up so that she could review documents that she held in her lap, but all she really needed to know was in Tessa's handwritten note.

"_Kaname-_

_Sousuke needs you. I'll explain everything when you get here._

_Sincerely,_

_Tessa_"

Kaname's recent routine of going through a stack of reports assigned by Bear put her in good practice to read between the lines to see the human story behind the dry facts on the pages. The Urzu SRT unit had gone out to follow up on a lead about a potential Amalgam hide-out. Despite moderate resistance getting to the structure, it was quickly determined that the lead had been false. The structure in question was bombed, and for reasons that weren't immediately apparent, Arbalest and its transporter had been the only ones left to discover that Amalgam was, indeed, present at the site. Arbalest engaged the enemy alone until the radio silence alerted the TDD-1 of trouble. By the time the other SRT units were re-deployed, Arbalest had suffered extensive damages. Without knowing that aid was on the way, Sousuke had activated his Lambda driver in an cataclysmic offensive that destroyed nearly all of the enemy and along with three M-9s, killing their pilots.

Preliminary reports suggested that, in addition to radio jamming, Arbalest did not have more than two functioning sensors before the final attack.

After Kaname finished her second reading, she tucked the papers back into the folder and stared out the window.

There were some parts (okay, lots of parts) of Sousuke that she didn't understand, but on some level, they were profoundly similar as individuals. It was one of the reasons that she loved him so much. Kaname had her famous pride and zealous definitions of right and wrong, but so did Sousuke. They were just prideful about different things. Sousuke was proud of his talent as a soldier. He didn't bother to develop things like social graces or a sense of humor because they weren't important to him. He developed killer instincts, resolute confidence in his combat decisions, and an encyclopedic knowledge of weaponry, tactics, and military history. He spent his life training to be the perfect warrior, and while he would admit to mistakes off the battlefield, Sousuke hated himself for errors in combat in the same way Kaname used to hate herself when she botched a science exam or said the wrong thing at a student council meeting.

Sousuke would blame himself for the deaths of his comrades. He wouldn't care that he had been fighting deaf and nearly blind against overwhelming odds. He would take ownership of his actions as though he had committed them intentionally. Tessa's note had confirmed what Kaname already suspected. She could see him in her mind's eye- sulking in his room and refusing to talk to anyone. Poor Tessa would be at her wit's end trying to comfort him while Mithril would be breathing down the young captain's neck to provide assurances that she hadn't accidently wrecked their best AS pilot.

So Kaname looked out of the window at the setting moon and morning stars and practiced what she would do when she saw Sousuke again.

Tessa met her as soon as she stepped off the aircraft. Kaname could see that the captain had been crying. Neither of them tried to yell their hellos over the roar of engines. Kaname gave Tessa a smile and followed her fair friend under the deck of the submarine's launch strip.

"Where is he?" Kaname asked as soon as she could make herself heard.

"The infirmary," Tessa replied. "He won't talk to anyone or let Peggy examine him."

"That figures," Kaname sighed. She had been right to expect that Sousuke would sulk.

"I'm sorry to drag you into this, but I didn't know what else to do," Tessa sniffed.

They were walking down the narrow hallways toward the sick bay. Kaname stopped Tessa by touching her shoulder. It suddenly occurred to her that Tessa was another raging perfectionist who would likely see the accident as a personal failure.

"Tessa, are you okay?" Kaname asked.

Tessa sobbed once. The sound seemed to explode out of her very core. She pressed one hand into her chest and the other across her forehead. By sheer force of will, Tessa steadied her emotions.

"No, I am most definitely not okay. I can't believe they are gone," Tessa whispered.

"Do you blame Sousuke for what happened?" Kaname asked.

"No."

"Do you think that he made a mistake?"

"No. Under the circumstances, Sergeant Sagara performed admirably," Tessa replied, her voice switching automatically into her captain mode.

"And so did you, Tessa," Kaname said softly.

There is no defense against kindness, so Tessa broke down right there in the hall. Maybe on another ship, the crew might have viewed a crying commander with contempt. On the Tuatha De Danaan, Tessa was universally adored because she cared for everyone like they were her own. Sobbing in the open might embarrass Tessa, but it made her crew love her more.

An older woman with grease stains streaking from her fingertips to her elbows poked her head out of an open door to see what was happening. Her face went soft when she saw Tessa, and she came forward to put a hand on Tessa's shoulder. Kaname winced as a handprint of black sludge smeared on Tessa's immaculate uniform, but the crying girl didn't care. She laid her delicate hand over the woman's thick, filthy one.

"I'm sorry that you have to see me like this," Tessa hiccuped.

"Why don't you come with me for awhile? Would you like some tea?" the woman asked gently. She sounded like someone's mother.

"Take care of yourself, Tessa. Let me handle Sousuke," Kaname added.

Tessa nodded and let herself be lead away. Part of Kaname wanted to go with them. Kaname wondered, distantly, if anyone had told Tessa about Leonard yet. Tessa looked so heart-broken, but Kaname, perhaps selfishly, wanted to be there for that Sousuke more at the moment. She turned and jogged through the long corridors to her destination.

The infirmary was easy enough to find; the door opened readily. Kaname had half-expected Sousuke to lock himself in like a petulant teen. She closed it behind her without making a sound.

Sousuke never looked up as she approached him. He sat, rigid as a steel beam, on the the edge of the thin hospital bed with his head down. Sweat stains darkened his collar and under arms. Kaname guessed that he hadn't changed since the battle. She was careful to make a little noise so that Sousuke would know that she was there. When he was within reach, Kaname put her arms around Sousuke and press his face against her chest.

He resisted her touch. He even tried to pull away from her, so she smacked him lightly on the back of the head.

"I didn't fly across an entire ocean to get ignored!" she scolded.

"Chidori. Leave me alone." His voice sounded cold, robotic.

Kaname hit him again, a sharp slap across the face this time.

"You really want to hole yourself up like this and pout?" she exploded. "Well, guess what? It's not your fault, no matter how much you want it to be."

"You know nothing about it," Sousuke seethed. His eyes were hard and mean when he looked at her, but Kaname wasn't afraid. She had seen him this way twice before: once when she had followed him into the locker room after the abbreviated battle with Gauron before his insurrection and again on the streets of Hong Kong. His eyes had upset her then because she hadn't understood. Now, Kaname knew Sousuke better, and she finally had the strength and courage to say what he needed to hear.

"_I _don't know? _You_ don't know anything, idiot. You think that you have to save everyone all the time, but that's a bunch of crap. Even if you were perfect, it wouldn't change a thing. People would still get hurt in the world. People would still die. Bad things don't always happen because you did something wrong. Sometimes they just happen."

"I don't want to talk to you. Get out."

He shoved her towards the door, but Kaname had expected as much. She dove at him and pinned him crosswise on the bed and grabbed his collar so he had to look at her.

"I am not leaving you. You want to know why? Because I love you. I love everything about you. I love the stupid things you say. I love your dumb military freakiness. And when you do something totally idiotic like forget how to sort trash, guess what happens then, Sousuke Sagara? I love you even more. So don't pretend like you're a terrible person because I know you. I know it was an accident, even if you don't. It wasn't you fault."

"K-kaname..." he stuttered in suprise.

It wasn't much, but it was her name. Kaname grabbed his face and kissed him as hard as she could.

"Say that you love me back," she ordered when she came up for air.

"You don't-" he began, so Kaname kissed him again- all teeth and tongue and smashed noses- until he started to soften underneath her. When his fingers caressed her cheek, she pulled back again.

"Say it!" she demanded.

"I love you," he said, softly and sincerely. "But I-"

Kaname slammed her hand down over his mouth. It might have also been covering his nose a little, but what did she care? The lack of oxygen would do him good. He needed to kill off a few brain cells and stop over-thinking everything.

"Listen up, soldier boy. You're with me, and that's it. You got that? I don't care what other people think. I don't care what you think. You're mine, and if I say that you're this amazing, kind, gentle person who would never, ever hurt anyone on purpose, then that's what you are!"

Sousuke tried to say something, but her hand was in the way.

"Don't even think about trying to tell me otherwise," she menaced as she released her grip on his mouth.

"No! I-- You're--" Sousuke sputtered. His arms grabbed her roughly and pulled her down on top of him, so her face tucked into the space between his shoulder and ear. "You love me? Are your sure?"

"geez, you're thick. I said I did, didn't I?" Kaname groaned. She thumped her fist into his chest with each word. "Stop. Arguing. Now."

His arms loosened, and his touch became soft instead of binding. "Okay. Anything you want."

"I want the doctor to look at you now," Kaname blurt out. From so close to him, she could see the ragged gash behind Sousuke's ear and smell the smoke in his hair.

"Affirmative," Sousuke exhaled. "Whatever you want. Anything at all."

"That's the spirit," Kaname assured him.

In the end, it had been much easier than she had expected.


	19. Reconciliation

A/N: I wrote a huge chunk of of this chapter while procrastinating on chapter six. That was months ago. I've revised bits of it almost every week since then, so I'm a little sad to finally post it. It's been so much fun to tweak and re-write, then delete and re-write some more. I really hope that you will have as half as much fun reading it as I had writing and revising it.

As usual, catbaker remains a fantastic person for her beta magic.

* * *

Kurz loved a good route. The brilliant, blazing battle that forced the enemy to run gave him a taste of the killer adrenaline rush that first got him addicted to the military lifestyle. The problem with a superior route, however, was the arduous clean-up that followed. If they had been fighting a smaller group or one with less clever commanders, then Mithril could have wiped the board in less than a week. Unfortunately, Amalgam couldn't be defeated with one broad stroke.

Kurz rejoined the Gebo guys after the victory at Merida Island and began to chase phantoms around the Indian Sea.

A brief lay-over in Papua New Guinea to stomp out a small enemy base.

A skirmish in Rangoon.

A minor incident in Sri Lanka.

A nice view of retreating enemies in Karachi.

Kurz spent so much time in his new AS that he got saddle sore, literally. The medic prescribed him pain pills and ointment, but using them meant that he would need to get out of his AS every four to six hours. Of course, he wouldn't need meds for saddle soreness if only he could get out of the Syn every four to six hours. Staring at the idiotic medic, who smiled brightly and did not understand why Kurz was gawking at him, made Kurz miss the good times on Tessa's sub.

Of course, Kurz knew that those good times with Urzu were over and never coming back. He heard about his former team's losses, and Kurz wasn't too much of a poser to deny that he got choked up over it. Kurz never really got along with Closeau, but they were teammates. Kurz wanted nothing more than to pound Amalgam into damp streaks on the ground, and his anger made the ghost-chasing all the more frustrating. The hours blended each other because the opposing forces would only engage for a few minutes, tops, before retreating like mist in the morning sun. Their major objective seemed to be preservation of their rag-tag remnants, so Kurz and his guys saw very little actual combat despite the long process of tracking.

It was boring, dull work that swallowed days whole. All Kurz wanted at the end of each shift was a cold beer and a chance to see Melissa again. She had stayed behind on base after the main battle. The official reason was that her AS was busted up and she needed minor medical attention, but Kurz knew it was all bogus. Facing Leonard's killbot had freaked her out. Hell, it had freaked him out, and Kurz hadn't been in the direct stream of its undivided attack like Melissa had. He still couldn't believe that she had enough willpower to protect him, that she wanted so badly to protect him. He hadn't even had time to drop her a line to thank her for saving his ass.

Amalgam's trail up and disappeared about nine days into the clean-up. The leads went cold. Kurz's captain reluctantly ordered everyone back to the ship. At the time, it seemed like a new attack could appear at any moment, but the anticipated ambush never materialized. Word on the carrier was that High Command had pitched a fit because Intelligence could track the enemy's retreat fast enough, and it looked more and more like the opportunity to crush the enemy organization into dust had slipped through their fingers. Given time, Amalgam would rise up again.

As soon as it became obvious enough that Amalgam had gone totally underground to lick its wounds for the time being, Kurz and his Syn were called back to base to run diagnostics and debrief.

He arrived at 2200. It was far too late to do any official meetings, so he met up with a few of the other Syn pilots at the bar on base. During the weeks Kurz lost to chasing phantoms, the regular worker bees of the base returned to the island and began the massive undertaking of rebuilding and repairing Mirthil's fleets, and the injured Syn pilots had taken the time to heal up. News that the day-saving new AS team was back travelled fast on the island, and Mithril's agents flooded in to join the party and buy the guys drinks. By 2300 hours, the celebration party at the small cantina was in full swing. The hospital staff looked the other way, and let the Syn guys still under medical surveillance sneak out to join the festivities. Miraculously, they had only lost one Syn pilot in the fight. The others were pretty banged up, to be sure, but they had survived.

Even few minutes, Kurz looked around for Melissa. He wanted to comfort her because Kurz knew that she would take the Urzu losses hard, and he wanted to see for himself that she was coping. Mao could be crude and flippant, but she loved her team. They were like family to her, and Melissa didn't have much in the world beyond her team. She might need a friend, and Kurz could bet hat for her, even if that's all she wanted from him.

At least, that was the logic that Kurz used on himself as he fought the urge to numb his nerves with pint after pint of pilsner.

Some time after midnight, however, it became apparent that Mao was avoiding the celebration. Kurz quietly paid his tab and ducked out while the other guys fired up the karaoke machine.

It took a bit of looking, but Kurz found Melissa alone in the rec room where she was quite literally pounding the stuffing out of the punching bag in the far corner. The side seam of the bag oozed a trickle of sand, but she showed no sign of easing up. She didn't turn to look at him when he came into the otherwise empty room, not even when the metal door clanged shut, but Melissa didn't try to kick him out either. Kurz noisily dragged over a folding chair to wait for her to finish.

Streams of sweat trickled down her lithe body as she fought her passive opponent. One droplet slipped down her jaw line all the way to her chin before finally letting go and falling. Someone had taped up her hands and feet so she could run her kickboxing moves in full-force. She wore only an athletic bra and a pair of dark cotton shorts in addition to the white tape. Since she wasn't slowing down, Kurz let his eyes drift over her body while his mind conjured what thoughts it may while he waited.

"You going quit staring?" Melissa growled after a minute.

"You going to hide out in here all night?" Kurz countered.

She landed a particularly wicked blow to the bag. The seam finally gave way. The exposed and yellowed batting looked like chicken fat, Kurz noted, as the sand spilled out with a sibilant whisper and pooled on the floor at Melissa's feet.

Kurz let out a low whistle. "Good one."

"Shit," Melissa said to no one in particular. She gave the dying bag one last thump with a weak right cross before stalking over to the bench and grabbing the waiting towel to rub off the sweat.

"I could have told you that was no piñata," Kurz joked.

Melissa finished up with the towel and picked up the water bottle without responding. The smart thing to do would be to wait for Melissa to open up to him. Kurz knew that, but patience wasn't his thing. He stood up, stuffed his hands in his pockets, and made his way over to her.

Melissa had to hear him closing in, yet she wouldn't look his way. It was really starting to bother him.

"Mel," he said softly when tried to reach for her, but she was already on the move.

She avoided him and paced over to the window where she stationed herself in front of the A/C unit to let the cold air take the edge off her post work-out heat. Melissa's eyes closed, and the humming of the compressor nearly drowned out her sigh.

"If you want me to leave then just say it," Kurz called out to her.

"Leave," she shot back without so much as a backward glance.

"Like hell," he pushed through gritted teeth. He hated himself for following her around like a fool, but there he was, standing before her with his heart in his throat yet again.

"You're blocking the air," she complained.

Kurz could find just a few embers of that infamous spitfire anger in her eyes when she finally looked at him. He saw mostly weariness and a touch of sadness in her now.

"You gonna tell me what's up?" he asked.

"What's it to you?" she challenged him, though her tone lacked bite.

"It's a friend who would normally be on her fifth pint by now," he explained. "Even that new guy who got blasted straight into ICU turned out for the party."

"So what if I don't feel like getting shit-faced for victory. I'm fine." Melissa waved him off and headed towards the door.

Kurz laced his fingers behind his head and tipped back to look at the ceiling. When he strained to look past the glare of the globe lights, he could see a colony of dust bunnies decorating the rafters and clinging to the corrugated metal roof. He could watch them sway in the shadows and pretend like he was nothing more than a concerned friend. Just a friend who had no problem letting her walk away and felt no mad desire to chase after her. Maybe with enough practice they could go back to the friendship they shared as teammates. That would be something more than the nothing they had now.

She did walk away, but she turned back to him once she reached to her things by the defeated punching bag.

"You coming?" she asked and tilted her head toward the door.

He broke into a wide grin. "For you?"

"Pervert." She threw the towel at him, but it came unrolled in midair and flopped to the ground. He picked it up on his way to her. It felt good to banter with her and joke around like they used to do.

"I _was_ going offer to buy you a drink after I cleaned up, but then you had to open your mouth," she grumbled as she pulled on a stretched-out T-shirt and polished off the rest of the water.

Kurz took the empty bottle from her and swished it into the trash can. "How about if I buy and you tell me why you're in here? We won, you know."

She laughed bitterly. "Yeah, right."

"So it wasn't a pretty fight. You did great out there." His hand landed on her shoulder, and she didn't push it away.

"Tell that to them," she grumbled and gestured to a thin white envelop half hidden by her damp towel. Kurz picked it up and noted the seal of Mithril embossed on the heavy weight paper.

"Read it and weep, pretty boy," Melissa mumbled as she started to tear off the tape on one hand with her teeth.

Kurz tried to keep his hands steady as he flipped open the single sheet and scanned over its contents. He had to read it twice to register fully what it said.

"No way," he breathed.

"Try not to get too jealous of the benefits package. Mithril likes to take care of its recruiters." Melissa spat out a mouthful of tape and scowled at the minimal progress on the bindings. She held out her right hand to him. "Get this off of me."

He let the letter flutter to the floor and got to work on the tape. Whoever wrapped her up had done a piss-poor job. He flipped out his pocket knife to expedite the process.

"Don't look so pitiful. I could have refused." Melissa shrugged. "I'm getting too old for this AS shit."

"You said that you wanted to fight," Kurz said while he worked the knife under the tape and sliced it open from the inside. "Last time I checked, recruiters don't get much combat time."

She blew out a long breath and pushed back the hair that stuck to her forehead and neck with her free hand. "Those young guys we've been working with? Man, they can't wait to jump into a hot zone and be the hero. I really couldn't care less anymore."

"So this isn't about the Lambda driver?"

"Nope. It just helped me make up my mind. I'm getting burned out on these missions. Better to get out now than start slipping in battle, you know? Besides, transferring back to base has other advantages."

"I'll bet," he said. "I can't believe they are letting you go after all that training."

"I still can't do a Lambda driver offensive. I think they are more than willing to give up on me," Melissa explained.

Kurz only half-believed her, but it wasn't worth pushing the issue. The last thing he wanted to do was blow his one chance to really talk to Melissa in the past three months by pissing her off. Kurz finished pulling the tape off her right hand and started on the left. Really, what clown can botch a simple tape job so badly? He tried to flick through the entire binding at once but misjudged and opened a shallow cut on her palm.

"Ow. Watch it," Melissa hissed.

"Sorry, babe. You want me to kiss it?"

"You can kiss my ass, Weber."

"Promise?"

Melissa rolled her eyes. "Why do I bother? Gimme that." She nicked his pocketknife and, after taking a seat on the bench, made quick work of the tape on her feet.

Kurz sat down beside her.

"So let me guess. Recruiter advantages include a raise and the pleasure of spending most of your time on land?" he asked, attempting to sound off-hand.

"And don't forget priority claim to the private villas on the north side of the island when an opening comes up," Melissa smirked.

"I'll remember to hate you while I'm hot bunking with some sweaty engineer," he groaned.

Melissa tipped back her head and laughed. "Damn, I've missed you."

Kurz tried not to look too hopeful. "Yeah?"

She matched his grin and knocked him playfully with her elbow. "Yeah. Too bad you've been so freaking busy."

"Too bad you still haven't given me your answer." His smile faltered, but he was quick to replace it with a fake one. If he was with anyone else, it might have gone unnoticed, but it was Melissa. She punched him lightly in the shoulder but then her fist opened. Her palm settled on his sleeve, curved around his arm, and then slid down to his hand on the bench before she withdrew it back to her lap.

"I'm sorry, you know," she said with her head down. "The offer to transfer came up right after you told me. Hell, I had a team to rebuild. All that shit with the new driver. I had a lot on my mind."

"And?"

"And I decided to take the transfer." Her expression softened. "And I missed you."

"How much?" Kurz dared to ask.

"Hmm." She screwed up her face as if the question required a great deal of thought while the rest of her body slipped into his lap. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms about his neck.

Kurz tried to remember to keep breathing as she settled her body flush against his.

"A lot," she concluded. "More than I thought."

"This much?" he asked innocently as his hands crept around her and under her t-shirt.

"Maybe more," she judged. She twisted her hands into his hair and pulled his head back to find his lips. Her kisses were sweeter than he expected and better than he remembered.

"Melissa-" he began, but she moved her attentions down his throat and found the spot that stole his breath. Kurz couldn't believe that she remembered his body so well after all this time.

"No one would care about an affair between a recruiter and a pilot, you know," she said in a low voice between kisses.

"Is that one of the advantages?" He stifled a gasp as her teeth grazed over his earlobe. He retaliated by sneaking a thumb along the soft rise of her breast and was rewarded when her breathing hitched ever so slightly.

"Oh yeah," she exhaled while tipping her head back like an invitation.

Kurz pressed his advantage and loosed a fraction of the intensity of what he felt for her. Kissing her again felt so good that he might have had her right there on the floor if she hadn't whispered his name and woke up the part of his brain that could still rationalize.

"Wait. Stop," he panted as he pulled away.

Melissa dropped her arms and leaned back immediately. She was still on his lap but far enough away for both of them to start thinking clearly. He noted with pleasure the rapid rise and fall of her chest, but it wasn't enough to be the object of her lust anymore.

"I need to know what I am to you," he managed to get out.

She threw her hands up, grabbed two fistfuls of her own hair, and pulled. "Argh. You and your mouth. Just shut up."

"I can't. I love you, Mel. Don't break my heart."

She opened her eyes and looked squarely into his. For a long moment, neither of them moved nor spoke. Then Melissa leaned in and kissed him. He wasn't prepared for the gentleness of her touch, and she feigned annoyance at his surprise.

"Quit worrying so much. I'm not going to stomp on your stupid heart," she promised.

It wasn't exactly what he wanted her to say, but it was all he needed to hear. When Melissa reached for him again, Kurz was very, very glad that he had remembered to lock the door on his way in.

* * *

Melissa didn't sleep much that night.

After their tryst in the training room, Kurz waited until she could walk a straight line before taking her back to the barracks and holding her for a long time just outside her door. He didn't ask to be let in; she had roommates until they set her up with the new recruiter's digs. Plus Mithril's policy was clearly against it. They didn't talk about Closeau or anything else either. He just put his arms around her and held on so tightly that she thought Kurz might break her ribs. Despite the discomfort, Melissa didn't complain. She held him back until her arms went a little numb, and even after that, she had to duck out of his embrace and escape inside before she got too tempted to stay with him all night.

She should have been out-of-her-mind happy, but Melissa felt ill inside. Yeah, she loved Kurz. She loved him fiercely. She had been pretty sure that she loved him back at Tessa's when he surprised her with his confession. It wasn't the question of loving or not loving that kept her wake for most of the night.

Love was the easy part, Melissa knew. Everything else was another story.

The sun seemed to take its sweet time rising. She had given up trying to sleep around 0500 and went for a walk with her pack of cigarettes. Around 0700, Melissa snubbed out her seventeenth smoke of the new day on the ground before she swallowed hard and pounded on the door to the guys' barracks. A kid that she recognized from one of the armored chopper teams answered the door.

Even half-asleep the scrawny teen had enough survival instinct to check her stripes before letting loose any insults. The recruiter outfit threw him off track, and Melissa rolled her eyes while he tried to process the correct way to greet her.

"Ma'am. How can I help you, ma'am?" he asked, going for the more formal route.

"Relax, kid. I'm not brass. Yet," she said while scanning the dim interior for her sniper. "But you better get Weber's ass out here on the double or you'll be on the bad side of every OC with the authority to assign latrine duty."

The kid ducked back inside.

"Hey Weber! Your girlfriend's here," Melissa heard him call out.

"Get you some in the morning!" a sleepy voice whooped.

"Woo woo!" cheered another voice muffled by a pillow.

"That's it," Melissa hissed. The door made a satisfying whump as her boot propelled it into the barracks's thin wall.

"Listen up, fart-eaters," she announced as she marched into the room. "I've killed good men for less, so if any of you feel like having a laugh at my expense, get it out the way now before I use garden shears to cut off your balls and stuff them into a newly installed hole your trachea."

Her old drill-sergeant voice came in handy now and then. The scrawny kid looked ready to crap himself. Kurz appeared in the doorway to the washroom, bare chested but with boots on, to wave a toothbrush at her.

"Morning, Mel," he said with a mouthful of toothpaste foam.

"Weber. Outside. Now," she barked.

"Again, so soon?" he smirked.

The guys whooped again, and instead of kicking their collective asses, Melissa shot Kurz a hard look and stomped out the door. She got only a few steps outside before Kurz chased her down while fumbling to pull on his shirt. The fear in his eyes was kind of cute, and he still had the toothbrush in his hand.

"Okay, tell me I didn't just blow it," he said with a hopeful half-smile.

Melissa gave him another death glare and walked faster.

"Oh shit. Mel. I'm sorry. Do you want me to beg for forgiveness? I would, you know. You had me begging last night," he reminded her as he practically jogged to keep up with her fierce pace.

"Fuck off," she spat.

He grabbed her arm and turned her around.

"_Melissa._"

He made her name into a plea, all joking gone. Melissa narrowed her eyes at his touch but didn't shake him off. She fumbled to find her cigarettes and lighter. She nearly missed her mouth with the butt of the smoke and took three tries to get it lit.

"Christ, you're shaking," Kurz observed with real concern in his voice. He put both hands on her shoulders. "This isn't about me being an ass. What's up?"

Melissa sucked hard on the cigarette and shook her head. "You and I need to take care of some things," she got out.

"Yeah, sure," Kurz agreed even though unanswered questions darkened his bright eyes.

He glanced around and frowned at the number of people out and about in the morning. The way his hands slid down the outside of her arms and his fingers lingered at her bare elbows told Melissa that Kurz wanted to put his arms around her again. It had been a lot easier to hold each other under the quiet spell of night with nothing but the mosquitoes to observe them.

Melissa finished sucking down her smoke and rubbed it out on the ground with her boot heel.

"Just follow me and don't ask too many questions, okay?" she said roughly.

Kurz squeezed her arms before letting his hands drop to his side.

"Whatever you want, babe," he agreed. He had tucked his toothbrush in his pocket. She could smell the mint on his breath.

The first stop was the hospital building.

"I want to request a review of my medical file," Melissa told the nurse on duty at the non-emergency desk. She turned to Kurz, and he looked a little startled but took his cue well enough.

"Me, too," he said.

The older woman narrowed her eyes. Kurz leaned over the counter and flashed his best lady killer smile.

"Pretty please with sugar on top?" he asked sweetly.

It worked. The nurse smiled back and set down her Sudoku puzzle book.

"Please write down your name and number, and I'll get them right out," she said and pushed over a pad of post-it notes and a pen. "Two review rooms?"

"Just one," Melissa said.

Kurz looked at her with a raised eyebrow, but Melissa kept her face as empty as possible. He shrugged before settling his face into a passive expression to match hers. The nurse looked baffled by their odd staring contest when she re-appeared with their files.

In the review room, Melissa flipped through her file and found her latest medical report. She pushed it in front of Kurz and reached for his file, which he surrendered without compliant. Melissa looked through it long enough to find Kurz's most recent check-up, which reported that he was STD-free and generally the image of health, before snapping it shut.

"You been with anyone since this?" she asked Kurz, waving the file at him.

"Only you," he answered. "Yourself?"

"Nope. I'm done here," she declared and marched back into the lobby.

Kurz handed the files back to the confused nurse as he followed Melissa out.

The next stop was Building A. Melissa had to fill out her transfer papers and complete the process to switch her official role to full-time recruiter. Kurz gave her a questioning look when she slid over the papers for him to sign, but he didn't ask her why. He dutifully signed off on the forms that made him her emergency contact, life insurance policy beneficiary, designated "need to know" on her personal files (with rights of attorney in the event of her death or medical incapacitation), and co-signer on the lease to her new flat.

The secretary processed the forms quickly and handed over the two keys to Melissa's new private apartment with a knowing grin.

Kurz must have given her a wink because the girl behind the desk giggled, and Melissa suddenly felt like puking. She stalked out of Building A and stomped off to find some privacy in her new home.

The key fit smoothly into the lock. Inside, the flat was small but clean and well-designed. All of Mithril's apartments came fully furnished. It didn't make sense to force officers to go through the hassle of shipping household goods and furniture to an uncharted island. She kicked off her boots to avoid dirtying the newly steamed carpet before making her way to the balcony for yet another smoke, the last one of the pack.

She left the door open on purpose. Even so, Kurz gave her a moment alone before joining her outside. The view from the balcony faced the open ocean, so it was quite private and yet another example of the perks in store for Melissa's new position. Kurz cleared his throat so she wouldn't start when he wrapped his arms around her from behind. He was quite taller than she was, so Melissa fit under Kurz's chin even when she wasn't leaning into his chest.

"You want to talk?" he asked.

"Not really," she said.

"You're acting weird as hell. You know that, right?" Kurz commented.

Melissa reached back to touch his face instead of answering, and he readjusted his hold on her to bring them closer together.

Kurz waited until she finished her cigarette before speaking again. "Hey. I love you."

Melissa groaned and ran her fingers down the bare forearm wrapped around her middle. "I know. But I'm kind of freaking the fuck out right now, so can this wait?"

The rumble of his harsh laugh was louder and lower with her ears so close to his chest.

"I get dragged out of bed this morning to fill out enough paperwork to make us practically married in the eyes of Mithril, and you're the one who's freaked out? I'm scared out of _my mind_ here."

Melissa twisted in Kurz's hold to put her arms around him, her open hands pressing him to her. When she released a long, shuddering breath into the bend of his neck, Melissa could feel Kurz shaking too. It shouldn't have made her feel better that underneath the swagger and the surety Kurz was just as terrified as she was, but it did. Melissa found it a little easier to breath.

"Any idiot who says this love shit is easy can go suck a cock," she said.

"Agreed," he replied. "Fuck those guys."

Melissa wound up her courage and pulled far enough away from Kurz to find his eyes.

"Okay. I should probably tell you that I love you," she said, and he kissed her so fast that she nearly forgot all about the second part of what she wanted to say.

Melissa had to push hard to get enough distance between them to finish her confession.

"I love you, but it's taking everything I have not to run screaming from the room," she finished.

"I could break your legs," Kurz offered.

"Great. Thanks for understanding, asshole," Melissa grumbled.

"No, I get it. That's why I had to sign on the dotted line a dozen times, right? Because it's too damn hard to run away from someone who has a key to your place and access to your bank accounts?" Kurz asked.

"Something like that," Melissa conceded.

"You could have mentioned this before I spent the morning petrified that you were going to ask Tessa to marry us or something."

Melissa jabbed Kurz in the ribs. "Like I'd marry you."

"I'm glad you see it my way, babe. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free."

She took a real swing at him this time, but Kurz dodged her blow and got her by the wrist.

"Let me go," she menaced.

Kurz tightened his grip on her. "Hey, it took a lot of work to get you alone, so don't think I'm just going to let you go easy."

"Please. You know I could kick still your ass with one hand-"

Kurz pushed her roughly against the sliding glass door, and his fingers were suddenly massaging someplace very intimate and very pleasant.

"You were saying something about one hand?" he said thickly.

"Bastard," Melissa breathed as her knees threatened to give out. It was a good thing that Kurz's other arm was holding her upright.

"Bitch," Kurz shot back. "Do you know how fucking_ heartsick_ I've been over you?"

"I'm sorry," Melissa said and tried to kiss him because there was real hurt in his eyes. She knew that she put it there, and she regretted it. Kurz ducked the kiss but kept touching her in ways that made her melt against him.

"The last time you said that you were sorry was when you dumped me," Kurz recalled.

"The last time was a big mistake," she reasoned. She tried to get him to shut up again, but Kurz turned his head so her kiss bounced off his cheek.

"You can come up with a better apology than that," Kurz complained. "Try again, ace."

"I love you, _ace_," she attempted.

"You remember what you said when I first told you that I loved you?" he countered. "You said, 'shit'. Why the hell did you do that to me?"

"Because I was scared and stupid," she admitted.

"You were brutal," Kurz added.

"I'm sorry," Melissa said automatically.

"Damn it! Quit saying that."

"What do you want from me? You want to call up Tessa so she can tell you all about what a disgusting mess I've been? I cried over your sorry ass a lot. Is that what you want to hear?"

"I want to hear why the hell you made me wait on you. What the fuck, Mel? Why did you bust me up like that if you were just going to turn around and tell me that you love me?" he demanded.

Kurz had stopped touching her. Instead, his hands forced both of her shoulders into the door with such force that Melissa heard the glass creaking in its frame. Her temper flared. She found it too easy to break his grasp and shove Kurz back inside to pin him down on the freshly-made double bed. Of course, he wasn't doing the best job of resisting her.

"Listen up because I'm only going to say it once. You got that?" she threatened.

Kurz nodded, so she went on.

"Okay, here's my sad story since you're so worked up that you can't get past not hearing it. I got busted for being with my CO back when I was in the Marines, and he sold me up the river as a slut and a whore out for a promotion to save his own skin. I got burned. Bad. Dishonorable discharge and the whole humiliation. So I made this dumb promise to myself that I would never make that mistake again. And then you came along, and I got stupid, and..." Melissa trailed off as her anger went out of her. "Christ, Kurz. I know how much you love working on the SRT. Your promotion and transfer- that was great and all, but it wasn't enough. I had to get where they couldn't write you off because of me."

Kurz considered her for a moment before propping himself up to claim her with one of his slow kisses. "I know, babe. But you were worth the risk to me. I'm not some dumb kid that needs your protection."

"So you're going to complain that I took that moronic recruiter job to keep you in the AS business?"

Kurz looked alarmed. "Wait, you said that were tired of fighting. I never asked-"

"I like the version that makes it sound like you owe me big time better," Melissa interrupted.

Kurz eyed her warily. "You sure?"

"I'm sure."

"And you're not going to pull this run-away business on me again?"

"Naw. You're stuck with me unless you do something colossally bone-headed to fuck it up." To back up her claims and get Kurz to shut up, Melissa grabbed the hem of her black tank top and stripped it off. She smiled when she felt his hands moving up her torso before she could get the shirt over her head.

"You know we have a debriefing in fifteen minutes, right?" Kurz reminded her as his hands settled just below her ribcage.

Melissa reached back and undid the clasp on her bra with one hand and let the straps slide off her shoulders. "You know that you have a debriefing, but I got a transfer so I have all day to hang out in bed naked, right?"

"You fight dirty," Kurz observed.

"I seem to recall that you like it dirty," Melissa grinned.

He grinned back and kissed her again, and Melissa felt the tightness in her chest fade away. They could make it work. He could forgive her for pushing him away because she was sorely tempted to spend days, if not weeks, making it up to him. She could get over her awful urge to run and stick around long enough to let someone love her. When he was looking at her with such devotion and desire, she really didn't feel like making a break for the door anyway.

They had started out much like this: her straddling him on an unfamiliar bed and taking off her clothes. Back then, she had tried to pretend that she just wanted a release, but it had been a lie. If all she was after was a fuck, then she shouldn't have slept with one of her best friends. Melissa had kissed Kurz in San Miguel because he had looked at her like he was looking at her now- like he could spend his life loving her alone. Only now, she wanted to spend a lifetime loving him back.

Kurz reached up to tug on her hair.

"Hey. I really need to be at that meeting. Tell me you'll still want me in two hours."

"God, you're such a tease." Melissa rolled off of Kurz and looked up at the ceiling.

"You're one to talk. I'll bring back lunch, okay?"

"Fine. Whatever. See you later, dumb ass."

She tried to act angry when Kurz leaned down and nuzzled her, but he caught her grinning when he pulled away.

"That's my girl," he said before dodging her punch and sprinting for the door.


	20. Office

The investigation would close in the same day that it was opened. Tessa would make sure of that, for Sousuke and for her crew. Already, she heard the whispers of damnation for the Arbalest's operator in the corridors. She could only speculate about what they were saying in places where no one knew Sousuke personally. The sooner that she could close the case and put the rumors to rest, the sooner the healing process could begin, but protecting Sousuke wasn't the only factor fueling Tessa's sense of urgency. When she completed the investigation, they could finally bury what was left of Closeau. There wasn't anything left of Hummer or Drake, but Mithril would hold the ceremony just the same. Tessa had her people organize the details for the next day. She doubted that she would need more than twelve hours to complete her work.

Dressed in her freshly pressed suit and favorite sensible shoes, Tessa spent the first part of her day at her desk gathering the reports from the engineers and the data feeds from the M-9s. She poured over the papers while sipping an Indian chai and synthesized that information to draft her question sets for the pilots. HQ rubber-stamped her plan immediately. Only then could Tessa personally conduct the interviews with the involved parties. She moved down to a small meeting room for the one-on-one sessions to avoid making her subordinates feel like they were being summoned to the captain's office for punishment.

The transporter pilots came first, and their reviews concluded quickly because they had the least to say. They had no direct contact with the accident, so the most that they could do was confirm pickup and drop-off times and reiterate that they had seen nothing out of the ordinary. The only pilot who had seen anything critical was dead. Very little of him had been recovered from the helicopter crash site.

The interviews with the Arm Slave operators were more difficult. Corporal Yang Jun-Kyu went first, and he managed to keep his composure as he re-accounted his version of the events. He calmly described how Closeau had shoved him aside just before Sousuke's Lambda driver lit up the jungle. Those few meters had made the difference between his preservation and annihilation. Tessa pinched the tender flesh between her thumb and forefinger under the table to keep herself from weeping when Yang described his attempt to resuscitate the ragged remains of his commander. Tessa was grateful for the voice recorder, so that she didn't have to worry about her emotions affecting the quality of her notes.

When Tessa dismissed the corporal, she sincerely believed that his story would be the worst of what she had to hear, and in a way, she was right. The other SRT members did not add any piece to the report that could compare to the horror of Yang Jun-Kyu's experience, but Tessa had taken the corporal's flat, restrained delivery for granted. Keeping the neutral expression of an official investigator is far more difficult when the grown man across the table from you starts weeping into his hands. Tessa felt like cruelty incarnate when she had to ask the other SRT pilots to repeat some of the more painful parts of their stories when their voices became too incoherent for the recording. She felt like her heart would jump out of her chest when she had to make Spec, whose voice was no more than a fragmented whisper above his choked-up sobs, go over and over the moment that he realized that the unreal light that had swallowed Hummer, who had been just ahead of him the jungle, had broken his friend's AS and body into nothingness.

After she clicked off her recorder, Tessa could be with her crew as their captain for just a moment before she had to dismiss them, and she took that moment to comfort them as best she could. She remembered saying soothing words to each man. Although she couldn't recall her exact phrasing, all of them wanted to her the same basic affirmations for her. No, there didn't seem to be anything that they could have done differently to avoid the tragedy. No, the rumors about disbanding the Pacific SRT were false. Yes, she was very proud of them and glad they had returned. Please file your written report as soon as possible. Please come to me if you remember anything else. Thank you. Thank you. I'll see you at tomorrow at the ceremony.

The men seemed relieved by the end of their interviews because they left with lighter steps than they had entered, as if Tessa had absolved them of their imagined transgressions. Even after all her time on the TDD-1, their implicit trust in her still amazed Tessa. She could pat a 20-year war veteran on the hand, say it was okay, and watch as the relief washed across his face.

The interview with Sousuke was challenging as well, for different reasons. Tessa had accepted that she wasn't the one that he wanted, but it still hurt to see that Sousuke wanted Kaname at his side when he spoke with her It stung when he looked to Kaname at those critical moments when his voice threatened to fail him, and her small nod gave him the encouragement and comfort he needed to go on. Tessa sat across the table from them with her hands in her lap while she ran down the pre-approved list of questions and felt profoundly unloved.

When Sousuke finished his answer for the final query, Tessa felt equal measures of dull pain, fragile optimism, and bone-deep weariness. As she had known all along, Mithril could find no real fault in Sousuke's unfortunate actions. He had behaved exactly as he should have, given his last set of orders and crippled intelligence. Even so, the process of proving it was taxing on them all.

"Thank you, Sergeant," Tessa said as she clicked off her recorder. "That concludes the official part of my visit with you today. Formally, I can tell you that the investigation is going smoothly and that the results are pending. Informally, you should know that none of the evidence that I've uncovered so far would indicate any intentional fault on your part for what happened in Venezuela."

"Understood," Sousuke nodded and then added more softly, "Thank you, Tessa."

Tessa felt her face go hot. "I just thought that you should know. That's all."

"It's funny that you should say that because I have something that you need to know, too," Kaname chimed in.

"Is it related to the investigation?" Tessa asked.

Kaname shifted uncomfortably in her chair. "No, it's more...personal."

"I'm sorry, Kaname," Tessa exhaled. "I have one more interview to complete and my report to file before I can do anything else. Please excuse me."

"It's about your brother," Kaname said carefully.

Tessa stopped midway to the door and clutched her stack of papers to her chest. She kept her voice cool when she answered. "What about him?"

"Can you sit down?" Kaname asked.

"Is he dead?" Tessa blurt out.

"I don't know," Kaname answered miserably. Her eyes darted over to Sousuke, who looked totally confused. "I'll catch up with you later, okay?"

Sousuke glanced from Kaname to Tessa and back. "Are you sure?"

"Please leave," Tessa told him.

Sousuke, always the soldier, obeyed, but he paused at the door.

"If I can do anything, I want you to let me know," he said to her.

Tessa turned to look at her beloved soldier boy, and he didn't salute as he exited. He met her eyes and gave a slight nod, and Tessa couldn't help but find a little smile for him. She had hoped for more, but Tessa still wanted Sousuke's friendship.

After he left, Kaname launched right into her story as if it had been bottled up inside of her for days, and now that it had found an outlet, guilt forced it to spill out. "Okay, I don't know how much you already know, and I don't think that I'm supposed to be telling you any of this. But he's your brother. If I were you, I would want to know. You do want to know, right?"

"Yes, very much so," Tessa confirmed. She settled into the chair across the table from Kaname and braced her heart for the bad news.

"Okay. He contacted me- out of the blue- and he tried to get me to meet him in Istanbul. Blackmail. But you know me. I don't like it when people try to push me around, so I ended up telling it all to my instructor."

Tessa got the feeling that Kaname was glossing over parts of the story, but she didn't dare interrupt.

Kaname went on, "So we put together when the attack was coming on Merida because of some things that he said, but I had no idea that he was going to be part of the invading forces. Really, no one knew. We just took a guess, and when he was fighting with Kurz and Melissa, I... I mean, I didn't really have a choice, you know? I had to help them, and I didn't think at the time about him being your brother. I just did it. We won, and then I sort of realized later what I had done. Please believe me. I wasn't thinking about him being your brother. I was just thinking about Mithril and Melissa and Kurz. I'm so sorry, Tessa. So, so sorry."

"He's dead? You're sure?" Tessa found herself asking. Nothing seemed real at that moment. Her hands in her lap looked too large and too far away.

"I saw his AS destroyed-"

"Did you see him?" Tessa broke in.

"No. Just his AS. But it was bad." Kaname swallowed hard. "It was really bad."

"I see," Tessa said. She thought of the reports from her SRT pilots and decided that she didn't want to know exactly what 'really bad' meant.

"It wasn't Kurz or Melissa who did it, just so you know. I mean, they were there and fighting him and stuff. But they didn't... It wasn't one of them who... I don't even think they know it was him," Kaname told her quietly.

"I see," Tessa repeated.

"Tessa? I'm really sorry," Kaname added.

"Thank you for telling me," Tessa got out. She gathered her things in her arms again and escaped from the room.

As she moved through the halls, Tessa heard two of the sonar operators whispering harsh things about Sousuke, and she realized that she had been naïve to think that the nasty rumors wouldn't stop when she completed her investigation. People already knew that Sousuke hadn't intended to kill his teammates just like Tessa knew that than Kaname, Melissa, and Kurz had meant to kill her brother. It was war; she wasn't stupid. She knew the risks. But it_ had _happened, and death is so much bigger than a mistake. Pain needs blame someone. No matter what she did or said, some of the crew would still blame Sousuke. Tessa knew this because, in her heart, she sort of blamed her friends.

Tessa reached the hanged bay in record time, and she managed to clamor into the cockpit of the kneeling Arbalest unassisted before it could register that she had done something physically challenging without amassing a new collection of bruises.

"Oh," she observed with wonder into the darkness.

The monitors flipped on automatically at the sound of her voice.

"You are not Sousuke Sagara," a voice told her. "Who are you, little girl?"

"I am Captain Teletha Testarossa, clearance code 447 dash 991 dash 8748452," Tessa rattled off.

The voice laughed softly. "I know that. It was a joke."

"You're not very funny," Tessa shot back.

"I'm not? I apologize. I must be nervous," Al said.

It was off the script, but Tessa went along anyway, her anger getting the better of her judgement. "Why are you nervous?"

"Because we malfunctioned," Al replied.

"How so?"

"We killed part of our team."

"Intentionally?"

"No."

"Then why did you use the word 'malfunctioned'?" Tessa pressed.

"What word would you use?" Al returned.

"You didn't answer my question," Tessa replied.

"You didn't answer mine."

"I don't have time for games. Why did you use the word 'malfunctioned'?"

"Why is a raven like a writing desk?" Al countered.

Tessa sighed. She had forgotten that, unlike Dana, Al did not need to obey direct orders. It wasn't part of his programming. Sousuke had complained about it enough in his reports; she should have remembered that much about Al's unique personality.

"I don't know," Tessa answered slowly. "Why is a raven like a writing desk?"

"I don't know either," Al said. "What word would you use to describe what we did to our team?"

Tessa sighed again. She hated riddles. "The word 'malfunction' implies that you did something wrong. Did you?"

"The word 'malfunction' means 'to have behave in a manner inconsistent with preset conditions'. It is not appropriate to damage one's own team," Al said.

"Al, what would have happened if Sagara had not activated the Lambda driver when he did?"

"We would have been destroyed in approximately 7.4 seconds," Al reported.

"What would have been appropriate than what Sagara did?"

"A localized attack might have been more appropriate."

"What would have happened then?" Tessa prompted.

"We would have been destroyed in approximately 22 seconds.".

"Are you factoring in the last known locations and capabilities of the rest of the SRT team?"

"Yes."

"So is there any scenario in which all Arm Slaves pilots survive?" Tessa tried.

"Yes. Two."

"Their likelihood?"

"How do you feel about your chances of winning the Singapore lottery?" Al quipped.

"I see. I don't think that the word 'malfunctioned' really describes what happened in Venezuela," Tessa said. "But it's the most appropriate word that you know."

"Yes. What happened is a riddle without an answer. When is an accident not a mistake? What is murder without murderer? Why is a raven like a writing desk?" Al responded.

"It would be so nice if something made sense for a change," Tessa quoted.

"Now you're catching on, Alice," Al replied.

Back in her well-appointed office, Tessa banged out her final report and sent it to her assistant for copy-editing and transmission. The investigation was over, and her long hours interviewing and pouring over data had revealed nothing more than what she knew going in. Three men were dead. It was the fault of their teammate. No one violated an order. No one acted inappropriately. Everyone did everything right, and yet the sad fact remained. Three men were gone. Another example of life's most horrifying riddle.

Tessa wondered whose job it was to inform the families of the deceased men, if they had any families left to inform. She wondered who, besides Kaname, would have seen fit to tell her about Leonard.

The egotistical part of Tessa found it flattering that no one had thought to tell her officially of Leonard's demise. She found the full report on the Battle of Merida Island easily enough. Her clearance was high enough gain access to all related documents in their entirety. The problem wasn't that Mithril had kept the information from her; the problem was her own divided loyalties. She had tried so hard to distance herself from Leonard's treachery that people seemed to have forgotten that they were related. You can only deny someone so many times before the cock crows, and the betrayal is complete.

The more human part of Tessa, which was and always would be a madman's sister, wept for the almost wholly unmourned loss of her brother.

Yet another part of her was insanely jealous. Kaname had told her most of the truth, although learning that her friend had made the call that distracted Leonard enough to let the Syns complete their attack came as a blow. Wasn't it enough that Kaname had Sousuke? Why did Leonard have to prefer her, too?

Tessa made herself a cup of ginger tea and watched the feeds from Merida until she fell asleep at her desk and woke up on the day of the funerals with the impression her keyboard smooshed onto her left cheek. There wasn't time to bathe and change, so Tessa smoothed out her uniform, washed her face, and started her day.

Melissa and Kurz arrived early on the same transport for the funerals, and Tessa went to greet them at the hanger. From the second they stepped into view, Tessa could see that the two of them had patched things up at last. They didn't say or do anything that would give them away. Kurz still flirted shamelessly with Tessa and Kaname. Melissa still rolled her eyes and murmured "dumb ass" under her breath. Even so, Tessa could sense that they were together in the way they stood a little closer to each other, in the softness in their eyes when they exchanged looks.

Tessa wished that she could have been happier for them, but she wanted to scream instead. It was too much to be near the people who had helped kill Leonard, even if Melissa and Kurz didn't know what they had done. Looking at them made Tessa feel like throwing her treasured tea cup collection down a stairwell. She made up an excuse about paperwork to get away. She didn't care how flimsy her reasoning sounded.

"Please tell them. I need to go," Tessa told Kaname on her way out.

Kaname frowned. "Everything?"

"I don't care," Tessa replied hotly and practically raced for her office.

"What's with her?" she heard Kurz ask as Tessa slipped away.

"Five is an odd number, idiot," Melissa scolded.

And that hurt, too. Melissa, her closest friend, thought that Tessa was just feeling left out because she was now a fifth wheel in their circle of friends. Melissa probably also thought that Tessa's puffy eyes were from tears shed for her lost men, not for their devastated enemy. Suddenly, Tessa felt very sorry for herself and far too old for her eighteen years. All she wanted was a quiet place, a cup of Earl Grey, and a good cry. She had to get herself together before the ceremonies.

The first thing that Tessa noticed when she opened the door to her office was that she had left on the desk lamp, which was very unlike her. Any unnecessary power drain weakened the submarine. Tessa always made a point to conserve energy.

The second thing she noticed was that her office smelled terrible, like Melissa's cheapest cigarettes. She wrinkled her nose and huffed her disgust before she realized that there was no way that Melissa had already snuck into her office for a smoke.

Tessa turned to her small sitting area at that moment, so the third thing she noticed was the figure on her sofa.

"You got me," Yang Jun-Kyu admitted glumly.

Tessa furrowed her brow, unsure of how to continue. The only person who her ever snuck into her office before was Melissa. Even Mardukas respected her privacy. Finding Yang on her sofa didn't make her angry, exactly. It was just _odd_.

Tessa opted for a neutral approach. "You're smoking in my private office without permission. Did I leave the door open?"

Yang didn't bother to take his Taiwanese cigarette out of his mouth when he answered. "I bummed Mao's keys when we were in Bangkok last year and made a copy."

Yang pulled something from his pocket and tossed it aimlessly. The key fob clattered across her small table, tipped over his makeshift ashtray, and dropped onto the floor.

Still unsure of what to say, Tessa walked over to collect the fallen key set and then perched herself next to him on the couch while Yang dusted off the ashes and spent cigarette butts from her table with his hand. When he got up to drop them into the trash, Tessa noted that Yang's eyes flitted over to her, but he moved with a slouch instead of the respectful, straight-backed posture of attention. He didn't even salute. Tessa might have rebuked him for subversion, but Yang looked so miserable that she didn't feel it was right to scold him. And the glitter in his eyes was oddly defiant, like he was daring her to go off on him. It was his defiance that made Tessa pause to consider his situation.

Yang would bury three of his teammates today, and Hummer had been his best friend. Looking back, Tessa could recall only a handful of times in the past two years that she hadn't seen the two of them together. Yang had watched his friends die, completely powerless to render aid. He had failed the first round Lambda driver training, which left him in an outdated M-9 while two members on his squad, one of whom was brand new to the team, moved up. He had endured Mithril's special, nearly doting treatment of Sousuke. To add injury to insult, Yang had acquired a nasty gash six months ago that ran from sideways across his throat just below his Adam's apple that had left a noticeable and disturbing scar.

He was only 21.

Yang took one last drag on his smoke, snuffed it out in halved soda can that he was using as an ash tray, and gave her an apologetic look. "I'm sorry for raiding your office, Madame Captain. It won't happen again."

"What kind of tea do you like?" Tessa found herself asking.

Yang scowled. "Not to be rude, but I don't want your pity."

"Fine. I was planning on using it all for myself anyway," Tessa huffed. She got up to put the kettle on and selected a tea cup- a simple Kate Spade design in pale green with a matching saucer.

Yang didn't move. Tessa wondered if he was waiting for her to formally dismiss him, but then he spoke. "Ceylon gunpowder."

"I'm surprised that you can taste anything over those revolting cigarettes," Tessa reflected.

"Christ. Here." Yang held out the soft-sided cigarette pack to her. "Take them. Hummer always said the same thing. I think this is my sign to quit for good."

Tessa reached out, and Yang dropped the nearly full package into her hand. It reeked so badly that she promptly shoved it into the trash.

"I can tell that you miss him," Tessa said softly. "This must be very hard on you, so I think I can understand why you would want to break into my office. There really aren't many quiet places to be alone around here. The truth is that I was planning on hiding out in here myself until the ceremony."

"I didn't mean to intrude-" Yang began.

Tessa shook her head. "It's alright."

The kettle whistled. Tessa went over to fetch it off the burner and pour the boiling water into the cast iron tea pot. The moment stretched into awkward silence as she waited for the tea to brew.

"I apologize for my earlier insolence, Madame Captain," Yang said at last. "I'm not myself today."

Tessa moved the tray with the cups and tea pot to her small sitting area. "There's no need to apologize. I think we are both allowed to have a bad day. Wouldn't you agree? Please, have some tea with me. I don't mind company as long as I don't have to be anyone's captain for the moment."

Yang dropped down beside her on the sofa and accepted a cup stiffly, like he was waiting for her to change her mind and order him out.

"It's good. The tea," he said.

"It's oolong," she replied.

The silence became difficult again. Tessa struggled to find something to say, but Yang saved her the trouble.

"Permission to speak freely?" he asked.

"Please stop being so formal. I can't bear it right now," Tessa pleaded.

Yang nodded. "Will do, although you will probably live to regret it. You know Hummer would have killed to be sitting here like this with you."

Tessa blushed. "Oh."

Yang chuckled. "I don't mean to embarrass you. It wasn't anything like _that._ He respected you. Hell, we all do. But Hummer? He just thought the world of you. That's all. He used to say that he didn't know why a cute girl like you would work so hard to watch out for a bunch of losers like us."

"You're not losers," Tessa said softly.

"Not all of us, anyway," Yang amended.

"_You_ are not a loser."

"See? Hummer was right. You're too sweet for this job. Any other captain would be on my case to figure out the Lambda driver," Yang argued into his tea cup.

"Who says I'm not? Don't you think I planned to make the most of having Miss Chidori, Mr. Weber, Ms. Mao, AND Mr. Sagara onboard?" Tessa countered.

"That's good to hear, Madame Captain," Yang said. "Thank you. But I'm going to stay with Hummer on this one. You're too kind for your own good."

"My brother used to tell me that I thought more with my heart than with my mind," Tessa remembered. "He was particularly fond of saying that after he beat me at something."

"I find it hard to believe that anyone could beat you."

"Leonard could. He was amazing."

Yang refilled her cup from the tea pot. "Your brother sounds like my kind of guy. Was he in the service like you?"

"He was military, yes. Just not ours," Tessa admitted in a low voice.

If Yang was surprised, it didn't show. He calmly finished refilling their cups and took his time enjoying another slow sip.

Talking with someone, even a near-stranger like Yang, over tea brought a sense of peace to Tessa. She had lost weeks to preparing for battle with Amalgam and the subsequent scramble to track down the remaining enemy forces. Even when Melissa had still been onboard, Tessa didn't get in much conversation over oolong. For starters, Melissa preferred anything alcoholic and, barring that, coffee over tea, and the sergeant major wasn't one for sitting around either. In recent memory, all Melissa had wanted to do when the girls could find a spare moment together was vent about Kurz and wretched timing. Tessa had tried to be a good friend, so she had kept her problems to herself. Now she regretted keeping everything inside because, even if their friendship could survive the fallout of fratricide, Melissa wasn't part of Tessa's crew anymore. Neither was Kurz. Kaname was never assigned to the TDD-1, and there was rumbling that her superiors wanted to station Sousuke and Arbalest at Merida Island permanently. The disaster in Venezuela had lent credence to Tessa's and Melissa's documented reports that the oppressive burden of too many responsibilities resting on Sousuke's young shoulders might cause permanent damage. The end result was that Tessa had lost all of her friends to circumstance, and she had long ago learned (the hard way) that she couldn't take Mardukas into her confidence.

It had been a lonely time. Kaname and Sousuke. Melissa and Kurz. Leonard. Tessa wondered if she could find a new friend in Yang. She knew so little about him, even though they had served together for over two years.

"Were you close to your brother?" he asked, breaking into her thoughts.

"Yes and no. We were twins, but he and I were very different in so many ways. I hadn't even seen him in years," Tessa found herself admitting.

"So he passed recently?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"Only if you know what to look for," Yang explained. "People work whatever is troubling their mind into conversation. You brought up your brother, so I just figured..."

"That's very smart," Tessa said honestly. She did not mention that Yang had brought up Hummer three times in conversation so far.

"What was he like?" Yang questioned her.

"I'm afraid he wasn't very nice," Tessa said. She wanted to change the topic, but Leonard refused to leave her thoughts. She might not get the chance to talk about him again for a long time. "I don't think that anyone really understood him. I didn't. He was better than me at everything. I think he even had better hair."

Yang gave her an odd look. "I find that hard to believe."

"My hair isn't that great. The braid is a clever ruse," Tessa assured him.

"No, about everything else. You're pretty damn impressive, Captain."

"When we're alone, you can call me Tessa."

It came out before Tessa had really thought it through, and she flushed bright red at the thought of telling a fairly attractive, youngish corporal to call her by her nickname. Would he think that she was coming on to him? Would he laugh about it later with the guys? She wanted to smack herself in the forehead for being so stupid, but Yang barely reacted. He merely refilled her cup again.

"Sure. I can do that. Tessa is a pretty name, you know. It suits you," Yang said.

Tessa blushed harder. "My brother, Leonard, started calling me that when we were little, and it stuck."

"I bet that the two of you must have been a handful when you were kids," Yang said without missing a beat.

"We were problematic to say the least," Tessa decided. "One time, we got a hold of a flak jacket, and we...."

He let her talk for nearly ninety minutes before her assistant buzzed Tessa to call her to the hanger for the funeral. She hadn't realized that she needed to tell someone about Leonard quite so much. Yang was the nicest person that she had met in a long time for putting up with her rambling, and he had an easy way about him that helped Tessa disregard the possible consequences of spending so much time socializing with one of her men. He made it so easy for her to forget her normal concerns that it made perfect sense to press the copied key set back into Yang's hand before she had to race out the door.

"In case you have another bad day!" she called over her shoulder as she hurried away.

She made it through all the ceremonies without breaking down, and Tessa strongly suspected that her one-sided conversation with Yang was the reason that she could look at Melissa and Kurz without getting that roller-coaster queasiness in her stomach. From the way that Melissa kept glancing over at her, Tessa guessed that Kaname had told them everything, and it made things all the more awkward and weird.

After she finished the roll call and they scattered the ashes into the rushing wind, Tessa moved among her crew, offering words of comfort and understanding were she could. She couldn't bring herself to go over to speak with her friends. Kaname was busy dragging Sousuke from group to group to force everyone to acknowledge him as one of their own. It was a smart thing to do, and Tessa was grateful for Kaname's good instincts and fierce personality. Plus, it saved Tessa the trouble of doing it herself.

Kurz had Melissa by the arm near the wall away from the main crowd. Melissa looked ready to punch through a steel beam, and Kurz was talking fast and low to keep his girlfriend from starting a fight at the funeral. Melissa always did have an odd way of coping with grief and regret.

Tessa stayed for as long as she could, outlasting most of the crowd. She slipped away when her feet started hurting from standing around so long in heels because there was a stack of paperwork on her desk that needed her attention.

Midway through the stack, she got up to fix yet another cup of tea and found that Yang had left her a gift- a small tin of gunpowder tea hiding among her regular packages. He really was a kind person. Tessa wondered why she hadn't noticed it sooner.

At the bottom of the stack, she found her personal mail. The trustee of her parents' estate had wired her an urgent update of the accounts, and she didn't understand the figures in the accounts balances. The amounts were half what they should have been, as if someone had withdrawn Leonard's share. But it made no sense. She and Leonard were the only beneficiaries of the trust, and the rights were non-transferable. If something happened to one of the Testarossas, all of the assets in the trust would go to the surviving sibling. If the trustee had stolen the funds, he wouldn't have wired her an emergency update of the accounts. The only way the numbers made any sense was if Leonard had withdrawn his share in full on purpose.

Tessa nearly knocked over her tea in her rush to check the time-stamp on the documents. The trustee had reached out to her that morning. By law, he had to contact her within 24 hours of any changes to the accounts. Tessa couldn't breathe for a moment as her slow brain tried to process the information.

Leonard had to have made the withdrawals sometime between today and yesterday.

Leonard was alive.

It was so strange that Tessa's first thought was concern for her brother, but her second impulse was to tell Yang.

When someone knocked at the door, Tessa told thought it might have been him.

"Come in," she called out.

It wasn't Yang. Melissa Mao quietly opened the door and stood awkwardly with her hand on the knob as if she were afraid to come inside.

"Hey," Melissa said from the doorway. "I know that you probably don't want to talk to me, so I'll be quick. I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry."

Tessa made it across the room withont tripping on her own feet and threw herself into her best friend's arms.

* * *

All author notes are going on my fanfic blog: unkeptsecret (dot) insanejournal (dot) com


	21. Recovery

The massive, purplish bruises that covered the left half of his body made him walk with a limp, and no matter how many anti inflammatories he took, the swollen flesh refused yield enough to let the knee and hip joints bend correctly.

The limp was so profound that he had to use a cane when he walked.

Leonard hated the cane.

He hated how people took one look at his hair color and his broken gait and assumed that he was an old man. The occasional idiot factored in his slight build and below average height and assumed he was an old woman. If it were up to Leonard, he could shoot morons like that in the street legally. People that dumb deserved to spend their last pathetic moments bleeding out in the gutter while the rest of humanity stepped over their flabby bodies and went along with the business of the day. With all the talk from the media about conserving resources in a finite world, it didn't made sense to let all those genetic dead ends stagger around like so many sucking, fleshy sacks.

As if to prove his grim opinion of the human race, a bloated bag of a woman broke wind with a girlish toot as he passed behind her.

Her fat face flushed crimson, and her piggy hands flew to her face as her mouth formed a tight little 'O' of surprise.

"Excuse me!" she said in German when she caught him glaring.

The yippy toy breed dog in her over-sized handbag barked at him.

Leonard could have stabbed her in the throat right there, but police were such a bother. He forced himself to keep hobbling toward the national bank. He had an appointment to keep, and his time was precious.

The wind picked up, and the chilly gust of air reminded Leonard to breathe. He needed to focus. He needed to think clearly. Dear God, he needed to keep his head now more than ever. He had stopped taking the pain meds that the doctors had prescribed because they clouded his thinking. His foul mood was likely the result of the constant, dull pain caused by his injuries. On normal days, he didn't want to kill everyone in sight. Just most of them.

He rounded the corner, and the bank loomed into view, looking far more official than the capital building that shared the same city block. Despite the moronic denizens that roamed its streets, Leonard rather admired Berne. The very architecture declared its loyalties. This was a city that knew that money, not government, ruled the world.

Leonard had come to Berne for that very reason. He needed access to his funds in full. With Amalgam's brutal defeat, his normal channels of revenue were out of the question, and Leonard had called in every favor he could command personally to finance his private agenda before the disaster. Now, he had no other option than to draw on his personal fortune to bankroll the necessary endeavors and keep his belittled operation afloat.

Leonard grunted when he pushed open the bank's door and a gush of hot, dry air rushed past his left cheek. The cold weather had numbed the stitched-up wound there, and it burned in the warmth of the building as the skin defrosted.

It _hurt_. He hurt. For the first time in years, Leonard felt a little sorry for himself.

Two weeks ago, he had held a private toast to celebrate his inevitable conquest of both Mithril and Amalgam. He had positioned the two forces to eliminate each other. All he needed to do was toy with whatever sad excuse for an opponent Mithril sent against him at Merida while his enemies killed one another for him. He was so sure that nothing could go wrong.

Twelve days ago, his exquisite new Arm Slave had been stabbed in the back thanks to Kaname Chidori's treachery. He had expected her to help Mithril figure out that Amalgam would attack their base. Hell, her inevitable leak to Mithril's command was a crucial part of his plan, but he also expected her to be smart enough to get clear of the battle zone. He certainly did not expect her to emotionally manipulate him at a critical moment. What ingratitude. She would learn better manners; he would make sure of that. He had to self-destruct his beautiful machine because of her, and Kaname would pay a price for that. If it weren't for his insistence on quality ejection equipment, he would have been killed.

Ten days ago, one of the few freighters still loyal to him fished his ejection capsule out of the Pacific Ocean.

Eight days ago, he woke up in a room to the coppery scent of blood and the acrid odor of bleach. He had ripped out the IV and the catheter and gone to work immediately, demanding a phone and shouting orders to anyone who would listen as he tried desperately to save what little of his plans there were left to salvage.

The doctors had swooped in soon after. They said that he needed bed rest to recover from his impressive list of injuries: three cracked ribs, two fractured metacarpals in his left hand, a laceration across his left cheek that had notched the underlying bone, a detached retina, two missing teeth, deep bruising down his left side from waist to ankle, a raging UTI, and a bad concussion. The severe dehydration from his ordeal at sea had been cleared up while he was unconscious.

Considering what he had endured, Leonard thought that he had come out of the bad situation in decent shape. It was his cause that had suffered the most devastating blow, but the stupid doctors couldn't understand how narrow the window left to preserve his plans actually was. Leonard had tried to reason with them. Staying in bed was a literal death sentence. Inaction meant certain death for all Whispereds. Beautiful, strong- willed Kaname. His sweet sister Tessa. All of them would be dead within six months if Leonard didn't act quickly to preserve what was left of his forces while he still could. There were powers at work in the world that made the likes of Amalgam and Mithril seem as insignificant as toy soldiers. Did no one else ever stop to consider what kind of power it took to create Black Technology in the first place?

Of course, logic doesn't work on complete idiots. Leonard had to shoot both of the brainless physicians between the eyes when they tried to sedate him into submission. It was their fault; if they hadn't been so stupid beyond words, they would be alive. Leonard refused to feel guilty for people who so avidly pursued their own demise.

Swiss bankers, however, were far from stupid. They operated as smoothly as the watches that their country was so famed for. After Leonard produced the correct identification, numbered the correct accounts, and signed the correct forms, they completed his transactions in mere minutes. They even offered him a choice of fine coffees and mineral waters while he waited.

Leonard opted for the water, which he sipped in a private room, while his requests were filled. The final documents came neatly bound in leather folders, and the uniformed guard that delivered the safety deposit box wore white gloves.

The papers were easy enough to sign. He was sacrificing the long-term profitability of the Testarossa Trust by withdrawing his portion in full, but he reasoned that Tessa wouldn't live to enjoy pleasures of life that came with a flush bank account if she were dead. By right, half of the trust was his, and he took only that half.

The contents of the box, however, gave Leonard pause. He knew that he didn't have time to wax philosophical about family ties, but Leonard's heart wasn't immune to the pitfalls of guilt and the pulls of familial bonds. He needed to think through what it would mean to Tessa if he pilfered the treasures in the box.

There were a few things in which Leonard took absolute pride, and his steadfast refusal to betray Tessa was one of them. Yes, she aligned with Mithril and he with Amalgam, but that was semantics. They were both mercenaries, both hired killers. They both produced fantastical war machines from the secret pools of forbidden knowledge in their brains. But these were just the circumstances of their lives. He had never personally betrayed his sister, even though he could think of countless ways to exploit his connection with Tessa. For instance, he could cry wolf like that bitch Kaname to con Tessa into throwing a battle, but Leonard refused to do stoop so low. He did not want to cause harm, even psychological harm, to that sweet girl.

And just like that, Leonard had his answer.

He pocketed the cash, the gold bullion, the silver coins, anything of real value with minimal personal significance. He left their mother's jewelry, his father's watch, the Fabergé egg, the El Greco paintings, the deeds to the family properties.

He lifted their mother's twisted strands of pearls out the box. Maria Testarossa had worn them on her wedding day and, if Leonard worked fast and smart, Tessa would live long enough to wear them on hers. Without thinking about the foolishness of sentimentality, Leonard raised the necklace to his lips, kissed the clasp, and wished his little sister well. When his work was done, he hoped that she could understand why he had done the things he'd done and the things that he intended to do. If she didn't, Leonard would probably have to kill her, but even then, he would try to make sure she went fast. A gun shot to the head would be best. He tried not to think too much about that.

He was just about to close the box when the glint of his father's wedding band caught his eye. Leonard pulled out the gold ring and slipped it on his right hand. It just barely squeezed past his knuckle on his third finger, but it fit. The constant pain for his injuries must have made him both irritable and emotional because Leonard decided to keep it.

He resealed the box, gathered up copies of the papers, and hurried away.

Fifteen minutes later found him at a dingy cafe.

"You're late. That's unusual," the woman across the small round table drolled in a flat alto.

At least, she was a woman today. Sometimes he was a man, old as sin or fresh out of university, but she was definitely a woman today. She wore her long hair in a perfect chignon and three-inch heels with a peek-a-boo toe that offered a glimpse of a French pedicure. The eyes never changed, though. Leonard could always recognize those mischievous eyes.

"My apologies," he said. Leonard caught the waiter's eye and gestured to his companion's cafe au lait. The waiter noted the order and scurried off.

"It's no matter. Your assignments are quite amusing to me. It would seem that your enemies are mine, for the moment. If you need my services on this type of assignment in the future, I am happy to negotiate a friendlier rate. Perhaps even barter." The woman gave him a cool wink and re-crossed her legs.

Leonard kept his face indifferent, but his mind worked up the conclusion that the person across the table from him with either the world's best female impersonator or a real woman. He didn't doubt that she was capable of the former, but he sincerely hoped for the latter. He did not savor the thought of harboring sexual attraction, however miniscule, towards another man.

"I'm interested in what you think I have that you might value as much as hard currency," Leonard said.

The woman looked at him with those damn cold eyes. "I value what you may come to know. I trade in information, after all. And if your prey is mine, well then, I think we may be of some use to each other. Wouldn't you agree?"

Leonard hated working with this chameleon of a person, and he certainly didn't relish the thought of surrendering any of his hard-earned data to anyone. His current financial situation, however, made the offer quite appealing. When it came to good intel, there was no finer source. The flawless data was worth the paying the premium and tolerating the idiosyncrasies.

"If our enemies are common, then we will no doubt we will be of some use to each other," Leonard agreed. He pulled out a simple reporter's notebook from his breast pocket and set it on the table. "Your next assignment. The same parameters as last time."

"Done." The woman picked up the notebook and slipped it into her purse. She plucked out an envelope and pushed to back to him. "The reports are in the usual place."

Leonard frowned when he opened the envelope and thumbed through the bills. "No success?"

"I wouldn't say that."

"Then why the refund?"

The woman leaned forward, putting an elbow on either side of her coffee cup. "What I wanted to get you, you got, but I should warn you. Angel is off limits. If you want to keep tabs on her, find someone else."

Leonard cocked an eyebrow at his business partner. She had never refused an assignment before.

"This is a curious turn of events," he remarked. "I thought that you were out from under the legendary metal's thumb."

"Oh, I am."

"Then why are you protecting her?"

She smiled. She never smiled, even as a man.

"Don't you love a good mystery?" she asked.

* * *

Back when Auntie was tormenting them with her mind games, Kaname couldn't believe that the seemingly sadistic instructor could ever become her advisor or advocate. Now, Kaname had trouble remembering why she used to hate Auntie. Sure, the woman was vicious and cold. She would file her nails while Bear evisercated you on a Sim and then chew you out for every minute mistake afterwards, but when Auntie took your side, she defended you with the ferocity and strength of a grizzly bear.

It was the protective version of Auntie that called Sousuke and Kaname to her office as soon as the pair returned from Tessa's sub.

"Have you ever heard the expression 'A servant can't serve two masters'?" Auntie began by asking.

Kaname and Sousuke chorused their affirmations.

Auntie templed her finger and practically radiated killing intent. "Good. Because I want to clarify something with the two of you before I make it clear to High Command. _You are mine_. You signed the papers to join MCA, and that contracts goes both ways. Mithril has violated its terms of that contract by demanding that you serve double duty."

Auntie turned her full attention to Sousuke, and Kaname felt him shift a fraction of an inch toward her, as if Kaname could protect him from Auntie's fury. Kaname shot him a look that said _You're on your own, babe_. Sousuke began to sweat.

"Mr. Sagara," Auntie went on, "It is an undue burden on your mental health to ask you to continue to pilot Arbalest on the whim of High Command during your tenure at MCA. It is the opinion of myself and the rest of the the MCA faculty that you are far more valuable as future leader in fully-equipped Lambda driver squads. The face of war is changing, and your unique skills are critical for the commanders in this new world. Squandering your time on tactical operations that jeopardize your long-term viability to this organization is unforgivably short-sighted. Emergencies are one thing. Recalling you to Urzu for dangerously ill-conceived scouting missions was hardly an emergency. I am a firm believer that poor planning on the part of others does not constitute an emergency on mine. You will accompany me to a meeting this evening at 2000 hours where I will make these factors clear to your former commanders. Am I clear?"

Sousuke looked visibly relieved when he nodded his assent, and Kaname felt better, too. She had worked hard to ease the tension on TDD-1 between Sousuke and the crew, but it would take a long time to heal the hurts caused by the friendly fire accident. Sousuke needed time to heal as well. He had been coping with multiple missions and divided loyalties since he had been first assigned to guard Kaname. The long-term damage from the stress was starting to show. The most troubling sign for Kaname was that Sousuke had lost a noticeable amount of body mass. Kaname didn't like the gauntness in his face these days, so she had forced him to eat for days before he finally admitted that his stomach hurt. Peggy diagnosed him with acid reflux and suspected that he had an ulcer forming in his gut. Peggy also got him to confess that he'd been suffering from headaches, and the medic speculated that he was grinding his teeth while he slept. She put in a request to outfit him with a biteguard to wear at night. The good-natured physician had made Kaname promise to report any changes in Sousuke's appearance or behavior right away, which made Kaname suspect that Peggy's concerns for Sousuke were greater than she let on.

Auntie turned her hard gaze to Kaname, and the young woman cursed mildly under her breath for flinching when Auntie's eyes fixed on her.

"Miss Chidori, my attempts to protect your position at MCA have been met with more resistance. Dr. Twomey's group needs someone with your expertise, and unlike Lambda driver operators, we cannot 'train up' new Whispereds. The new arms race is on, and the _interesting_ developments we observed during the AS battle on this island warrant further study," Auntie explained.

"I know," Kaname sighed.

She had passed out in the command room so she didn't remember much. While she was out, however, Kaname's brain had disgorged a notebook's worth full of new data right there on the floor of Auntie's command center. The tapes that Kaname had watched later were quite revealing. Kurz and Melissa had talked to her a little about what had happened on the island when they found some spare moments together after the funeral, too. Melissa's unexpected use of the Lambda driver to protect Kurz's AS had surprised everyone, and when word of the romance between Kurz and Melissa hit the rumor circuit, the traditional rules governing relationships between squad members went flying out the proverbial window.

"I am afraid that I cannot fully shield you from the demands of other groups," Auntie apologized.

"So will I be forced to join the R&D team?" Kaname asked. She didn't want to get stuck underground in Building F. Kaname had tasted leadership, and she knew that she was good at it. She wanted to command, not debate the structrual intergrity of support beams.

"Not under my watch," Auntie scoffed. "I have no plans to surrender you to anyone. Unlike Sagara here, no division in Mithril has a previous claim to you. They have to get my permission to steal away your time. However, Dr. Twomey has some rather powerful allies in High Command, and as much as I would like you to remain under my tutelage for the next two years, I don't have the political sway to counter R&D's proposal totally. Fortunately for us, Dr. Twomey is a reasonable man, and your performance in the command room during the siege solidified the growing opinion that you will be a fine officer soon and very soon. You will work in Twomey's lab two evenings out of the week. Zio and I will endeavor to keep your individual workload low on those days, and you will be compensated for your effort and time by R&D. If you elect to do any additional work for them in your spare time, R&D will pay time and a half, but MCA will not adjust its expectations of you beyond the agreed upon two evenings. Does this arrangement sound feasible to you?"

"Yes. I can do it," Kaname decided.

"Good." Auntie's face relaxed, and though she didn't smile (Kaname thought her blood might have frozen if Auntie smiled at her right then), the instructor looked relieved. "I shouldn't have to explain to you that it appears that the crisis with Amalgam has passed. They will doubtlessly be back in time, but we will have some months to regroup and continue your training. Your progress had been more than adequate so far."

"Thank you, ma'am," Sousuke said robotically.

Auntie frowned, and Kaname could have hugged the woman for her powers of observation. Healing Sousuke's raging case of self-doubt and guilt was far from over, and Kaname was nearly exhausted from trying to do it all alone. With all the drama with Leonard, she'd been the only one able to support Sousuke through the funerals. He needed to talk it through with someone other than his girlfriend.

"Sousuke, I read the reports from the incident in Venezuela," Auntie said in a low voice.

Sousuke stared straight ahead and nodded once.

"I would like to debrief with you as soon as possible. I've also taken the liberty of arranging some time with a counselor for you as well," Auntie said.

"Thank you, ma'am, but that won't be necessary," Sousuke countered.

"Believe me, Sousuke, it's necessary and you're going," Kaname told him.

Auntie laughed. "Zio had concerns about your relationship, but I told him it was the best thing that ever happened to Sagara here. I must admit that I rather enjoy being right, and now he owes me $50. Kaname, I will see you tomorrow morning at the normal time. Please let Del and Dibs know that we are resuming classes as usual. Sousuke, you will join me for coffee and a debriefing until our meeting tonight."

"If he gets out of line, you know where to find me," Kaname offered.

"Thank you, but that won't be necessary. See you tomorrow," Auntie replied.

Kaname squeezed Sousuke's hand on the way out. "Come by and let me know how it goes, okay?"

"I will," he agreed.

Kaname left Auntie's office feeling better than she had in weeks.

Back in her dorm, she checked her e-mails to kill time but found nothing special except a weird series of photos of a small stuffed Bonta-kun in front of various famous landmarks. Bonta-kun and the Mayan pyramids of Chichen Itza. Bonta-kun and British Parliament. One of the first ones was Bonta-kun and the Tokyo Tower. Kaname guessed the her mystery photographer was Wraith. Only a few people knew about her love of the cute, mouse-like character. Her friends in Tokyo didn't travel that much, so Kaname could rule them out. She knew where her Mithril friends were. That left Wraith.

The last shot was Bonta-kun large clock tower with a golden face. It looked European, but Kaname couldn't place it. Maybe Switzerland? She spent the longest looking it over because it was the only photo that came with a note.

_If anyone has a conscience it's generally a guilty one._

Kaname was distracted by her consideration of the note by Del and Dibs, who broke into spontaneous song and dance when they opened the dorm room door and found Kaname at her desk.

"Are you drunk?" Kaname asked as Dibs and Del did a wobbly do-sa-do to the tune of some crazy tune Del was clearly making up on the spot.

"What? We don't drink. That's ridiculous!" Dibs slurred.

"Beer? What's that?" Del hiccuped. "I make it a point to avoid it."

"Whisky is better," Dibs nodded like a bobble head.

"Much better," Del agreed. She smacked Kaname on the shoulder. "Good to see you again, sweet-cheeks. Where's your virginal boyfriend?"

"Oh, shut up," Kaname groused. She was trying hard to be offended, but it was too much fun to see her friends again. "Sousuke and Auntie are at some meeting. He'll be back tonight."

Dibs held out his arms for a hug and pulled a sad face. "You miss me, Kaname? Del said she didn't. She's so mean to me."

"Yeah, I missed you, you big lug. We both missed you. Don't listen to Del. She's just bummed that she can't have your room to herself anymore," Kaname said.

"You slept in my room?" Dibs yelled at Del. "How did you get a key?"

"How do you think, dumb ass?" Del yelled back. She had flopped down on her bed, and Dibs flopped over her. She didn't seem to care. They were both too drunk and happy to get offended by anything. Kaname rather envied them.

"That damn Greek bastard," Dibs complained.

"Where is that chauvinist pig anyway? Is he back yet?" Kaname asked.

Del got quiet really quiet all of the sudden and shoved a pillow over her face.

"Hey, we heard that Sousuke had a bad time, but we knew that you would take care of him," Dibs said too loudly.

"He'll be okay. Auntie is getting him off SRT duty as we speak," Kaname told them.

"That's good. Sousuke's a good guy. He's done enough already," Del's broken voice came from around the pillow.

If Kaname didn't know better, she would have thought that Del was crying, but when the dark-haired woman bolted upright to shove Dibs off of her and send him sprawling on the floor, Kaname saw nothing but dry eyes and a big smile.

"Ouch! That hurt!" Dibs whined. "You're such a bitch. No wonder you can't get a boyfriend."

Del jumped on the poor guy, and a rather sloppy wrestling match began on Kaname's rug.

"That take back before I beat you like the red-headed stepchild you are!" Del threatened.

"Not a chance, chica," Dibs shot back. "Someone's got to keep you in line until they find who-know-you."

Kaname watched Del pin Dibs in a rather impressive Dragon Clutch while the slow realization that something was very wrong came creeping over her. What it her imagination or was their jovial rambunctiousness kind of forced? Was there a reason why they refused to say Aristo's name?

"Hey, is Aristo alright?" Kaname asked.

Dibs slipped Del's hold and got her in a headlock. "The greasy Greek? I think he's moving in angles."

"He's making idiots angry," Del giggled.

"Matching indigo apples!" Dibs laughed.

"Mating in Antwerp!"

"Mailing internet apologies!"

They dissolved in a fit of uncontrolled laughter while Kaname stared at them, absolutely convinced that they had lost their drunken minds.

And then it hit her.

MIA.

Missing in action.

* * *

Author's Notes on this chapter at unkeptsecret (dot) insanejournal (dot) com.


	22. Changes

A month can pass slow, or fast- like a bullet from a rifle. For Melissa, time moved forward in tiny movements because she couldn't see Kurz for solid month after the funerals.

Their schedules had made them into ships passing in the night. When he was in port, she was gone. When she came back, he needed to be on a mission. Kurz divided his time between his duties as second of the Gebo SRT and his new responsibilities to the nascent Syn group while Melissa lived out of her wheeled suitcase. She spent her days jumping from sleazy city to backwater town as she established new contacts and persuaded key talent to sign Mithril contracts, all the while looking for fresh leads and feeding her reports back to Intelligence. She had not anticipated that a Mithril recruiter would be part spy, but it made sense. Her frequent interactions with rogue military types meant a steady stream of information for the organization. Most of what she picked up was hearsay, of course, but if you hear the same rumor enough, it stands to reason that there's some truth in it.

Even though she was used to moving from place to place on Tessa's sub, Melissa didn't savor all the traveling that her new job required. Something about miniature bottles of shampoo and all those greasy, take-out lunches made her feel off-center. The worst side effect was the insomnia. She thought that after a month on the road that she would get used to falling into a different bed every night, but she couldn't manage to stay asleep for more than three or four hours at a time. She ended up watching hours of terrible reality television in languages that she had never bothered to learn from her rumpled bed. She tried cutting back on her beloved coffee first, thinking it was the stimulants that kept her awake at all hours. When that failed, she sacrificed spicy foods and sodas as well. It didn't make a difference. She just couldn't sleep through the night. When she could catch a few hours of rest, she dreamed of oddities made of senseless sound and colored light.

The last time that Melissa had a place to call home was when she was a teenager, so she had powered through a three-pack of antacid tablets and a medium-sized bottle of Tylenol PM before she understood that the intense ache that felt so much like heartburn was actually homesickness. Home for Melissa was a generic, cheaply-furnished flat on Merida Island with Kurz. Any bed without him sprawled across the mattress sideways and hogging the sheets felt too large. Every pillow failed to measure up to the perfect dip of his warm shoulder.

Melissa had decided that she was too old for sappy phone calls and saccharine e-mails, so she kept her thoughts on the matter private. She didn't want to come off as needy. She just wanted him- real and solid and laughing in her arms. She craved his slow-as-syrup kisses and that funny ache in her chest when he called her babe.

There was something else that she failed to mention to Kurz. Melissa Mao had never been in love before. Sure, she had flirted and fucked and sometimes even stuck around for breakfast. She'd had affairs, but she had never loved anyone. It didn't seem like the kind of thing that she should drop casually into an e-mail, so Melissa opted to keep her communications from the road brief and informative.

_I'm in Berlin. It's ball-busting cold. The beer is delicious. See you on the 29th. _

She didn't see the point of tagging on_ I love you_ to the end because she wrote to Kurz everyday, no matter what, and no one would spend hours tracking down a WiFi connection in some rusty, former Soviet city-state if love wasn't involved. Kurz was a blonde, but he wasn't_ that_ blonde. Wherever he was, Melissa felt sure that he knew how much she cared about him.

Confidence in their relationship failed to make their time apart any less tedious, so Melissa was as pissed as a wet cat when a typhoon decided that it just had to pound Micronesia on the very day that she was scheduled to fly back to Merida to see Kurz again.

The storm darkened the sky and her mood as she spend eight hours in a dingy airport staring at yellowing linoleum floors and ceiling tiles so saturated with decades of unrelenting humidity that they sagged like unruptured pustules. In a fit of eye-twitching boredom, she churned through all of her reports with her laptop's power adapter plugged into a particularly sparky-looking wall outlet. Amalgam's ignoble defeat meant a lot of free agents in the world were looking to hook up with a new group, so she had amassed a phone-book sized stack of papers to process in her first month on the job. Her flight finally cleared for departure about the same time that she finished up her last report, and she caught a few hours of rest with the jet engine acting like one of those fancy white noise generators.

Melissa noted with some bitterness the bluish-purple that hinted at dawn on the horizon when her plane dropped below the clouds for its initial descent over Merida Island. So much for making her dinner date with Kurz. They would be lucky to snag coffee together before he had to ship out again.

She collected her luggage in the near-empty air hanger and walked in the dew-heavy darkness to her flat alone. She fished the key out from the messy bottom of her messenger bag, pushed through the front door, and proceeded to strip off her god-awful recruiter uniform as soon as the lock clicked shut behind her. The stiff jacket that pinched her shoulders came off first, followed quickly by the constrictive heels and road-worn stockings. Her wrinkled slacks and sensible bra completed the pile, which left her in a blousy, white button-down shirt and cotton panties. Melissa shoved the whole mess into the corner with her foot and dropped her luggage on top. She would need to dump the lot of it into the first available washer in the morning, so unpacking would be a complete waste of time.

She snagged a cold one from the tiny kitchen on her way to the bedroom and chugged a good third of it before she found Kurz asleep in his clothes on their couch. Small stacks of papers clustered around him. The blank screen of his laptop, which he had balanced on the arm of the sofa, watched over him as he slept heavily with one arm tossed over his eyes and his boots still on.

Melissa took a seat on the coffee table because he had left her no space on the couch.

"Hey," she said softly and touched the bottom of her chilled bottle to his upraised elbow. "I'm back."

"Hmmm," Kurz murmured. He dropped his arm, and it flopped over the side of the couch while he struggled out of deep sleep. His eyes fluttered, opened fully and then snapped shut again.

"Hey loser! Get up and kiss me. I've had a bad month," Melissa demanded. She gulped back another quarter of the bottle.

Kurz rolled onto his side to face her and forced his blue eyes open again. When they finally focused on her, he smiled sleepily. "It's my girl. She's back. Hello, pretty girl. Miss me?"

"No," Melissa lied. "I had a blast without you. One big party."

"So mean. If I didn't know better, I would think you didn't like me." Kurz yawned and stretched. "What time is it?"

"About six."

Kurz bolted upright. "What? Shit! I'm supposed to be at the docks at seven."

Melissa polished off her beer in silence.

"Man, this sucks," Kurz went on. "It's going to be, like, four months before I can see you again. I had big plans for you, too."

Melissa lunged for him then, and he caught her easily, like he'd been expecting it. They fell into the gentle give of the sofa's cushions, relearning each other with each caress, every scent and breathy sigh, on the way down. Melissa tasted her own desperation in their kisses and shut her eyes against the embarrassment that her emotions were certain to cause.

"Love you."

It slipped out easily and summed up everything so succinctly. A whisper against his skin that she thought he had missed until Kurz spoke.

"Say it again," he said.

"I love you so much it hurts," she found herself confessing. "I can't stand not being with you. I fucking _hate_ this."

Kurz shifted under her, and Melissa felt panic surge in her blood because she hadn't meant to tell him so much all at once or to sound so pathetic.

"You gonna try to walk out on me?" he asked in a low voice.

Melissa worked her hands between the couch cushions and the supple skin of his back and squeezed as hard as she could. Kurz grunted as her grip forced out the very air in his lungs.

"You think I'm stupid?" she grumbled.

"I think I'm going to lose my mind without you for four months," Kurz answered. His hands danced up her spine like the fretboard of his guitar, and her nerves sang out their pleasure at his touch. "I think we need to figure this out."

"Any ideas?" Melissa asked.

"Yeah. We should both get on the Syn team, full-time," Kurz explained.

Melissa lifted her head to shoot him a dirty look through the thin veil of her dark hair; Kurz could be so ridiculous at times. He stuck out his candy-pink tongue at her, and she chased it down with her mouth. His taste was definitely not sweet, but his kisses gave her that sugar-rush thrill just the same.

"They are never going to let us be on the same team, idiot," Melissa scolded. She bit down on his lower lip to emphasis her point.

Kurz hummed his pleasure. "That's not what Kaname told me. That move you pulled changed the rules of the game. She said they're going to make us an offer."

When she didn't answer right away, Kurz poked Melissa between the short ribs and tried to charm her with his smile.

"Hey, that's good news. Kaname said that Tactical Ops blew a gasket when they found out that someone let you transfer off the pilot rooster. They want us on the same team again, just like the good old days. Emphasis on the good, right?" Kurz prompted.

Melissa studied his face while she considered the new information. Kurz had the most perfect mouth, even if he talked too much.

His voice dropped into a plea when he noticed her unconscious frown. "Hey, babe, I got five years left on my contract. This past month just sucked. I can't imagine doing this for a whole year, let alone five."

"I know, I know. If they make us an offer, we should take it," Melissa conceded. She tried to settle down his chest but nearly lost her balance and fell off the couch. Kurz snagged her before she could take a tumble.

"Hold on," he ordered.

He swept her up in one fluid motion.

"Put me down. This is stupid," Melissa griped. His grip was crushing her ribcage, and her legs almost smacked into the doorframe as he maneuvered her into the hall.

"You like it," Kurz grinned. He walked them both into the bedroom and deposited her on the bed, which Melissa had to admit was much more comfortable than the modest-sized sofa.

Kurz flopped down beside her and put a warm hand on her stomach. His thumb traced the line of an old scar from appendix removal surgery.

"Hey, explain to me why you don't want to pilot a Syn anymore," he said.

Melissa rolled over and buried her face into the mattress. Kurz could read her so well that she couldn't hide much from him. It was sweetly infuriating.

"Can you let it drop?" she tried. "I said I'd sign if they make the offer."

"If you don't want to do it, we'll find another way," Kurz offered softly. His mouth hovered near her ear. "I just want you happy, okay?"

"There's not another way. You said it yourself. You owe them five years. I owe three. I can't say I'm surprised that they want us on the Syn team. They would be stupid not to put all the pilots together and fast. I heard some stuff out there that makes me think we don't have a lot of time," Melissa explained as she turned to study his reaction.

"Amalgam's back already?" Kurz asked. Suddenly, he tugged on a lock of her hair and pouted. "If we're going to have a serious talk, will you at least let me hold you while we do it? I've missed that gorgeous body."

Melissa didn't make him work for her touch. She pressed her body flush along his and tucked her head into the crook of his neck, so she could close her eyes and breathe him in.

"Listen, I heard some weird stuff out there," she began. "It's not Amalgam though. Something else. It's not like anyone just came out and said it, you know? But some of the guys were scared as hell when I talked to them. They would barely say two words to me. Then I would meet with these other guys, and they would look at me like I was gutter-trash. Like they already knew I was dead. It freaked me out a little."

"Are you sure it wasn't just egos talking? You know how some mercenary guys are."

Melissa shook her head. "No way. These guys knew something. I called this one hot shot in Manila out on it. Like 'if you've got something to say, then say it'. And he just shrugged me off. But that's not the weird thing. I wasn't sleeping much on the trip, but I got in about three hours that night. While I was out, someone had been in my room."

"Seriously?"

"Oh yeah. It was some freaky shit. The room was all smokey when I woke up. I found two cigarette butts in the trash, and I thought I was just imagining things or maybe the maids had smoked when they came in to clean the room earlier or something, but then I noticed that my bag was on the floor. I swear that I had left it on the chair, and when I went to check it out, I found out that the fucker had gone through my suitcase and turned every piece of clothing inside out. It was weird as hell."

Kurz's grip on her tightened and he went quiet, so Melissa could tell that he believed her. She had tried to put the incident out of her head while on her trip, but thinking back on it made her skin crawl. It was just too creepy.

"I don't think I want to do this recruiting thing anymore," she concluded.

"You think?" Kurz snorted. He pressed his forehead to hers. "This is me begging. Please, please, please don't go back out there. If something happened to you, I wouldn't last a week."

"Shut up. You would so. And what makes you think the Syn team will be all 'safety first' and flower arranging? You know what happened to Sousuke, and he's way better at this sort of thing than I am. I can barely got the defense on the damn thing up," Melissa groused.

"Mel, you saved my ass. You practically invented a whole new way of using the Lambda driver. You know what Kaname told me? They are naming that shit after you. Any time a pilot uses the driver to protect another AS, they call it a 'Mao maneuver' or something like that. Kaname said they are working up all kinds of crazy plans to use Lambda drivers to shield other kinds of equipment. You're a hero."

"That's pretty damn sweet, I gotta admit," Melissa agreed.

"But you still don't want to pilot the Syn, do you?" Kurz observed, not unkindly. "What are you so scared of?"

"I'm not scared," Melissa said hotly.

"You aren't? Because I am. Terrified actually. That much power and next-to-no control?" Kurz dropped his head into her shoulder and sighed.

Melissa touched his cheek. "Okay, you got me. I'm freaked out. It's like everything that I thought I knew about how to fight is wrong. When you're in the Syn, you have to re-learn everything while fighting some crazy bad ass with better equipment, and there's some smarmy AI talking in your ear the whole time. It's too much."

"But you're good at it," Kurz reminded her. "You made it through the training. You defended during the attack."

"I got lucky. Hell, you know that I'm not as good as you," Melissa retorted.

"Nope, you're better."

"Sweet talker," she said accusingly even though it was hard to be mad when he was kissing her just _so_ along her clavicle. "You might have mentioned this earlier. I was feeling like the only loser who didn't have a clue what was going on."

"Nobody knows what's going on anymore. I know that I love you, and the rest of it is details. Speaking of detail..." He checked his watch and groaned. "I got 30 minutes. Any chance we'll get our fancy Syn offers between now and then?"

"Nope. But check your ship's ETA. There's some bad weather out there today. Maybe they got delayed and we'll get lucky," Melissa said.

Kurz chuckled at that, and she thumped him on the arm.

"Make a crack about 'getting lucky' and I'm out of here," she threatened.

"I don't go for the obvious joke. You know that. I was just thinking that I do have it pretty good. I am one lucky guy really. I still can't get over the fact that you're with me. I can't believe how much I love you. If they put us back on the same team, I want to ask for shared quarters. I bet they would give it to us, too. We're like Mithril rock stars since we took out that silver AS."

"You mean Leonard," Melissa corrected him.

"God, life is so depressing sometimes," Kurz whined. "Can we stop talking and start making out now?"

Melissa was only too to happy to oblige. Everything was changing, but Melissa was in love for the first time and it was wonderful.

* * *

A month can pass fast, or slow- like ice melting in a cold sea. For Tessa, time moved forward in broad, determined strokes. Everything seemed to be happening so quickly.

Clean-up duty from Amalgam's campaign sucked up nearly all of her waking hours. The losses in staff and equipment meant that Mithril had to be creative in resource deployment, and Tessa had to fight to keep her best crew members on her sub.

Her personal mission to find out about her brother without tipping off her superiors stole another large chuck of her time and brain power. After he claimed his portion of the trust, Tessa couldn't shake the bad feeling that Leonard was in trouble. She still had to fight tears when she thought about what it felt like to almost lose him. She needed to tell him that, no matter how wide the chasm between their ideals divided them, she couldn't bring herself to stop loving him. Tessa doubted that her feelings would matter one way or the other to her twin. She had seen the photos of what he had done- or let someone else do- to the girl that he had used in his plot against Kaname. She knew exactly what kind of twisted soul he had become in the years since she had last seen him, but her resolution to reach out to her closest living relative tugged at her heart. She _had _to tell him, even if the reasons behind her secretive search were entirely self-serving.

On top of that, the Whispers had come back to her in full. Tessa found that they would creep in and dominate her mind if she sat for too long over any one task. Her strange flying machine's blueprints sprouted up in unlikely places like mushrooms after a rainstorm. Over the budget details from the last quarter. In the margins of her notebooks. Across the bathroom mirror steamed by her brief shower. On the backs of her hands.

Yang noticed the writing on her when she went to pour the tea.

"Boring meeting?" he asked a sideways smirk that hinted of mischief.

She deflected his nosy question with her own. "Do you make a habit of being so inquisitive?"

"Ah, I see. Make tea, not conversation. How is that working out for you, _Madame Captain_?" he snarked.

"I'm extraordinarily busy, _Corporal_, so please forgive my brevity. I need to work. You can leave if you want better company," Tessa snapped and instantly regretted it.

She didn't want him to leave. Yang had taken to visiting her office every afternoon, and he made her days considerably less lonely. Even when she was too busy to talk (which she wasn't today- her foul mood came from a particularly trying meeting with her chief of staff), his presence made her feel less robotic and more like the girl of eighteen Tessa often forgot that she was.

They had fallen into an easy routine. She retired to her office every day from 1400 to 1600, barring emergencies, to work. Yang would drift in around 1430, always careful to avoid getting caught using the key fob. It was the end of his shift, so he technically didn't need to be anywhere else and no one would be looking for him. Tessa envied how simple it was for him to disappear from the public eye. Mardukas tracked her every move like a Hollywood stalker.

Once they were alone, they would talk about their respective days over tea for as long as Tessa could spare before work demanded her attention. When she surrendered herself to the array of flagged messages in her inbox, Yang would usually fall asleep on her sofa, which he claimed was infinitely more comfortable than his bunk.

Tessa could tell what kind of day he had based on how long it took him to fall asleep. After a bad shift, he slept fitfully and never really relaxed. On a good day, he dropped into slumber like a stone falling into a lake. On the best days, he wasn't tired at all and delighted in trying to distract her from her duties by telling her funny stories about Hummer or luring her into talking about her past.

On the days when Yang napped, Tessa would wake him up to say goodbye when she left for her daily 1600 conference call so Yang wouldn't get caught dozing in her office after she was gone. That was her favorite part of their meetings. He slept like coma victim, so she had to lean over him and speak, loudly and directly, into his ear to rouse him. No matter how rotten his shift had been, he always came to wakefulness smiling at her.

"See you tomorrow, Tessa," he'd say. Or "Thanks again, Tessa."

Yang certainly was no Sousuke in the looks department. The vicious scar cutting across his throat, somewhat weak chin, and crooked nose made him average where Sousuke's strong features were strikingly handsome, but Tessa flushed every time Yang smiled at her with those sleepy, honey-colored eyes and perfectly straight, white teeth while she hovered over him with barely a hand's breadth of space between their faces. She tried to pretend that it was hearing her name that made her heart lurch into her breastbone like a pet finch testing the walls of its cage. She tried to pretend that she wasn't sweet on yet another young man in her crew.

She was trying to push him out of her mind to get some work done when Yang dropped into one of the chairs across from her and put his elbows on her desk.

"Look, I'm sorry I was short with you," he apologized.

Tessa pretended to be terribly occupied with her mail.

"Tessa?" Yang tried again. "I know I'm taking advantage of your kindness by hanging out in here so much, and I was wrong to go and be a jerk on top of it. You can kick me out, you know. I probably deserve it."

"I was short with you as well. I apologize," Tessa responded. It came out stiff and unnecessarily formal, and she knew it. Tessa reordered the files just for show to avoid Yang's eyes.

He cleared his throat and waited.

Tessa powered up her computer.

Yang pushed out a long breath before standing up. "Okay. Guess I'll be seeing you around then."

"Can I trust you?" Tessa blurt out.

Yang froze. The questioning look in his eyes told her that he wasn't following, so she pressed on.

"I want to tell you something, but I don't know if I should. I can't tell if we're friends or if you just like having access to my office." The words just gushed out of her, and she sounded so childlike even to her own ears that Tessa wanted to crawl under her desk and choke on her embarrassment.

"Hey, where is this coming from?" Yang asked as he dropped back down in the chair. "Did I do anything to make you think that you can't trust me?"

"No," Tessa admitted.

Yang searched out her eyes. "Then trust me. I've got no reason to betray you. You know that."

"I can't know that," Tessa tried to explain. "It's never that simple."

"Okay, how about this for simple? You've been beyond good to me, so I'll be damned by Hummer's ghost if I sit here and don't try to help you," Yang insisted.

Tessa could read his resolution in the set of his jaw.

"Thank you," she exhaled. Tessa could understand the simple human math of returning favors.

Yang smiled at her, and her world tipped on its side for a moment. Her birdlike heart fluttered wildly. Tessa willed it calm. She pushed the envelope in question across the desk to Yang.

"What's this?" he asked and picked up her offering. She had already broken the seal, so he carefully extracted the contents: a single folded sheet of paper and an unmarked mini disc.

"It's a letter that I wrote to my brother. I know that he's a killer, but I needed to let Leonard know that I still care about him. That must sound so foolish to you," Tessa said.

Yang looked at her sharply. "I never said that."

Tessa shook her head and pressed on. "I couldn't think of how to get a message to him, so I hired a courier service to deliver a note to every place we lived while growing up. My father was in the military, so we moved often. There are also a number of estates that my family owned but did not occupy. I thought he might be using one of residences, or maybe someone there would know how to forward it to him. I used my personal funds to pay for it all, so I can assure you that it's all above water."

Yang snatched her wrist from across the desk. "Why would I think it wasn't? Stop assuming the worst from me. Damn it all, Tessa. You have to know... "

Tessa stared at her captured wrist where his large hand was turning white and red around the joints as he held her fast.

"Know what?" she asked in a whisper.

He released her suddenly and slumped back in his chair. "So you sent out a bunch of letters and this one came back?"

Tessa nodded and opted to let his outburst pass. There had been something flashing in his eyes when he had grabbed for her that thrilled and scared her all at once.

"Not exactly," she clarified. "Almost all of them came back to me. Return to sender and all that. But this one came back with the disc inside. I'm too afraid to find out what's on it."

Yang considered the situation. "Do you think it's from him?"

Tessa nodded. "It came from our estate in Switzerland, and I have reason to believe that he was there recently. I'm fairly certain it's from him."

"Do you want my advice on whether or not you should look at it?" Yang asked.

"No," Tessa replied. "I want you to look at it first. If he says that he hates me or if it's something terrible, I'm not sure that I want to see it. I need someone that I trust to tell me if I would be better off not knowing."

Yang stared at her for a long moment. Tessa caught herself toying with her braid and wanted to slap her hands away.

"I'll do it," Yang decided.

"I don't want Leonard to be hurt because of me. I don't want any information on that disc to go to Mithril, even if it's incriminating," Tessa added hastily. "I know that I am asking you to do something illicit...."

"We don't know what it is," Yang cut her off. "It might be just a belated birthday card. You never know."

He winked at her, and Tessa felt better instantly.

"Unhook your computer from the network in case this little guy has bad software on it and trade places with me. I'll take a look and let you know if it's something you want to see," Yang said.

"Thank you," Tessa murmured.

She did as he asked, and Tessa watched Yang from the wrong side of her desk as he worked with her computer.

"It's a just single file. Not big at all. Definitely not large enough to be any sort of bug or virus," Yang noted. "I think it's audio. You want me to listen to it first?"

"Yes, of course," Tessa said.

Yang pulled out a portable MP3 player from his pocket, swiped the earphones, and stuck the jack into the correct port. Tessa watched his face as he opened the file. His head cocked to one side, and after a few seconds, he yanked out one ear bud.

"It's a song," he said. "It doesn't sound like anything bad, but maybe it has some meaning to you?"

"I don't know. Let me hear it," Tessa said. She hurried around the desk to look over his shoulder at the screen. The audio file was unlabeled, so she couldn't judge anything from the title.

Yang tugged out the earphone cable. "I'm turning up the volume and starting over. If you want it to stop, just say the word, okay?"

Tessa nodded. Yang clicked the play button. The familiar song began.

She closed her eyes.

"My mother loved this song," Tessa breathed.

Memories returned in a happy rush. Her mother humming the melody as she moved through the house. The warm tone of the old record that had a scratch over the second chorus.

It was the first song Tessa learned on the piano. They played it at her mother's wake. Leonard sang it to her in the dead of night the first time that she woke up screaming from a dream sent by the Whispers. It was one of the few times that he ever hugged her.

"Tessa? Are you okay?" she heard Yang ask, alarm in his every syllable.

It was just a silly pop song from an older generation.

_My eyes adored you. Though I never laid a hand on you..._

"My brother loves me," Tessa found herself whispering. "He's telling me that he still loves me. Oh god. He remembers."

_So close. So close and yet so far...._

Tessa listened to the track over and over in the days that followed. She played it while she worked in her office. She fell asleep at night with it playing softly in her room.

Leonard was alive somewhere, and he cared about her. It sounded so juvenile, but it was more than Tessa had let herself hope for.

Yang endured the song's endless repetitions and her newfound fixation with patience. He took over tea-making duties. He shook his head and smiled when he caught her singing along.

Maybe it was the music stirring up long-untouched parts of her mind, but something had tripped inside of Tessa. The Whispers seemed to coo lullabies to her, and her duties as captain fell to the wayside as schemas and sketches and equations flowed out of her. The song became the wind that lifted her flying machine. Releasing all that locked data from her mind felt so sweet and easy that Tessa didn't want to rein in her productivity. She wanted to devote herself to this new dream, but there was a catch.

Tessa knew from her previous work on the Tuatha De Danaan that she couldn't maintain leadership of her beloved sub while developing her new creation. She had to pick one.

The pros and cons of her decision so occupied her mind that she didn't notice that Yang had missed their daily meeting until she was lying in bed that night. Her heart winged frantically as she racked her head for a reason behind his sudden disappearance. Did she forget that he was on a mission? Did she say something to scare him away? Was he sick? Was he sick of her?

The questions harried her like miniature furies throughout the next day.

1430 rolled around, and Yang did not appear in her office again. Tessa couldn't work. Even her tea tasted funny. She set her cup aside and paced the length of the room.

By 1500 she was ready to cry. She chewed on her nails instead.

At 1530 she decided that Yang must have figured out that she had developed a crush on him and was staying away from her. The humbling thought of him dodging down hallways to avoid her, an impossible feat given the limited space of her submarine, helped Tessa make a decision. She sat down at her computer and typed up her resignation letter. They had always wanted her to return to R&D. Tessa had no doubt that her request would be accepted without inquiry. It felt good to make up her mind.

At 1600, she cancelled her meeting by claiming that she had a headache. Heartache was more like it. She holed up in her office thinking about every stupid word and thoughtless thing she had let slip in Yang's presence that might have driven him away and tried not to die a little inside.

At 1700, someone opened her door, and Tessa leapt to her feet. Yang slipped in, and his face fell when he saw her standing behind her desk.

Tessa wanted to evaporate into thin air. He did not look happy to see her.

"I thought you would be at your meeting," Yang said dully from his post near the door.

"I cancelled it. I'm not feeling well."

It was almost the truth, but the words tasted as sour as a lie all the same.

"I came to return these," Yang said. He came up to her desk carefully, like a cat creeping around a sleeping dog, and set the key fob on her latest stack of reports.

Tessa stared at it, not willing to understand.

"I wish that I could be your friend. I tried to be, but I can't," Yang explained. His eyes never left the floor. "You can trust that I won't tell a soul about anything that you told me. I swear."

"What did I do wrong?" Tessa exploded.

Yang looked up at her with wild eyes. "You didn't do anything-"

"I thought you liked me," Tessa interrupted. Her voice shook and she hated herself for it. "I thought you liked being with me."

"I do," Yang insisted.

"Then why?" Tessa whined. She wished that she could shove something into her mouth to shut herself up.

"I think you know why," Yang said miserably.

"No, I don't."

She took a step toward him without realizing it, and Yang held out his hand like a traffic cop stopping a line of cars.

"Don't," he rasped. His hand trembled a little. "Stay right there."

Tessa screwed up her courage, rounded the desk, pushed past his outstretched arm, and stationed herself directly in front of him. Yang looked positively stricken.

"You have to tell me why," she demanded.

"Because I can't just be your friend. Because I'm so crazy about you that I'm about to do something stupid like kiss my captain and get myself court marshaled," he answered.

His hand skimmed past her hair as he retract it to his side, and Tessa felt lightheaded.

"I'm not your captain. I quit," she managed to get out.

"You can't stand so close to me," Yang pleaded. "Please. Tessa."

"I'm going back to R&D. I'm turning in my letter of resignation tomorrow. There's something that I need to do, and it means that I can't be your captain anymore," she went on. She looked up to his face and watched him swallow hard. "So you see, it wouldn't matter if you kissed me."

"If you don't move now, I'm going to," Yang promised, but he was already pulling her in, his mouth already moving against hers.

Tessa realized suddenly that she had no idea how to kiss because no one had ever kissed her before, and she wanted so badly to do it right that she couldn't think clearly. His hands moved from her shoulders to encircle her, and she stopped thinking entirely.

After a long time, Yang broke their kiss, and Tessa threw herself against him and held on.

"Are you sure?" Yang asked into her hair.

"Yes," Tessa answered.

For once, she loved the timber of her voice. She sounded so calm, so sure.

"_Yes_."

* * *

A month can pass slow, like intelligence gathering, or fast, like a surgical air-strike. For Sousuke, time seemed to do both at once.

Auntie had won her case with Mithril and gained complete control over his assignments. Arbalest now rested in an underground hanger on Merida Island for use in extreme circumstances alone. Sousuke could focus on his training without the constant worry of new missions. The uninterrupted routine of classes, homework, Sims, physical drills, and free time with Kaname made the days fly past.

At the same time, the incident in Venezuela refused to dim in his memory. The weeks passed, and it still felt like he had just climbed out of his AS in that ruined jungle. He would have moments when all the details of that terrible instant would come rushing back to him. The counselor called them flashbacks, and they could be triggered by anything. The angle of the sun. The sound of a helicopter overhead. He had even had one while in the middle of kissing Kaname. She had been surprisingly understanding about it, given that he had been in the process of taking off her shirt at the time.

The counselor had observed that Sousuke was more comfortable with actions than words. Sousuke agreed. Actions were definite. Actions stayed put. Words slipped around and changed without warning. Words betrayed you.

For example, it was easy to show Kaname that he cared about her through action. He could hold open the door for her or refill her coffee cup when they were pulling another all-nighter to meet a deadline. He could kiss her when she looked especially beautiful. He could hold her hand when she was having a stressful day.

Putting love into action was easy, and Kaname had made the rules for touching her very clear from the beginning.

Rule #1: When he wanted to touch her, he should touch her. Kaname had said that she knew that he would get it wrong most of the time, so she would prefer him to err on the side of too much contact over too little.

Rule #2: If she ever said 'no' or 'stop', he had to desist whatever he was doing immediately and without hesitation. Sousuke found that it was a very easy rule to follow.

Rule #3: He wasn't supposed to touch her when other people were around unless she initiated it first. Kaname was a better judge than he was on matters of social appropriateness, so Sousuke didn't mind deferring to her when others were present. So far, he had learned that she would hold his hand or hug him when their friends were around, but she wouldn't touch him at all in class or during a training exercise.

Sousuke had explained this all during one of his first sessions, and the counselor suggested that they stop meeting in the office. Instead, they would go running or fishing or out to the firing range. Sousuke greatly preferred doing something while answering his counselor's questions. Sitting in the office made him nervous.

Of course, there were times when actions failed him, too.

When Sousuke stepped out of his dorm room to meet up with his counselor that morning to find Del sitting alone on the raised edge of the foundation of the building and crying, Sousuke had absolutely no idea what to do or say. He shut the door out of courtesy to his sleeping roommates and stood there, frozen by indecision. Should he say something to her? If so, what would he say? Should he ignore her and go to his meeting?

Suddenly, he felt like he was back in Tokyo where everything he did or tried to do was wrong.

Del used her sleeve to rub at her nose. She sniffed loudly and then turned to him.

"I'm fine. Don't tell the others, okay?" she said. Her voice was surprising steady given the tears streaking down her tanned face.

Sousuke nodded.

Del stood up and wiped her face with the hem of her t-shirt.

"Del, did something happen?" Sousuke asked.

She gave him a rueful smile. "More like what's not happening. I can't believe that jerk is still missing."

Sousuke watched as Del took two steps and then broke into a steady run. She took off in the direction of the 10K trail. It was unusual. Del had only cried once before, when her unit was wiped out, and she usually ran with Kaname in the mornings.

Sousuke brought up the matter with his counselor at the artificial rock climbing wall where they had agreed to meet for the session.

"What should I have done?" Sousuke asked as they finished their warm-up on the boulder.

"What did you want to do?" his counselor asked in return.

"I suppose that I wanted to make her feel better. It possible that Aristo is still alive, but since I have no evidence either way, it would be exceptionally deceptive to get her hopes up with false assurances," Sousuke reasoned.

"So you don't know what to say to her," remarked his counselor.

"No, I don't," Sousuke admitted sadly.

"Is there anything you could do for her?" his counselor inquired.

Sousuke thought it over. "I am not sure."

The problem of what to do for Del nagged at him for the rest of the session and into the morning's classes. He arrived at the only feasible solution mid-way through Bear's lecture on tensions between Georgia and Russia.

He raised his hand.

"Mr. Sagara, this is not a Q and A," Bear acknowledged him.

"I am aware, sir, but I have a question," Sousuke said.

From the desk next to him, Sousuke heard Kaname groan.

"I'm sorry. He's in a weird mood today," she apologized to their instructor.

"I am unoffended. Let's hear this urgent question then," Bear said, flashing his white smile at the entire group.

"Do you have any information on the potential whereabouts of Aristo?" Sousuke asked.

The room went deadly quiet. Sousuke gulped. He stole a quick glance at Kaname, half-expecting to see her harisen flying towards his head. Instead of being angry with him, Kaname was biting her lip and looking with soft eyes at Del, who in turn was staring out the window. Sousuke could see nothing out of the ordinary through the glass, so he surmised that Del was avoiding them. It was possible she was crying again.

Sousuke regretted raising his hand, but it was far too late to take it back now.

"I cannot answer that question," Bear explained. "None of you are cleared for that information."

"Yeah, but c'mon," broke in Dibs. "It's been a month. The suspense is killing us. Can't you give us a clue?"

"No, I cannot. That would be a violation of protocol," Bear pointed out. "But-"

Bear winked. All of the remaining First Years perked up.

"-I can control your nightly assignments. If I were you, I would be most interested in tonight's work. Now, may I continue with today's lesson, Mr. Sagara?"

"Of course. I apologize for the interruption," Sousuke answered.

He didn't know whether or not he had the right thing for Del until the lecture ended. Right after class, Dibs jumped up with big grin and hurried off the front desk to reserve a study room in Building D for the evening, and Del laughed- loud and often- over their turkey pot pies in the mess hall at lunch.

It went without saying that they would all work together on the assignment. They gathered in the reserved study room as soon as the data arrived through their inboxes shortly after supper. Bear had distributed materials based on their skills sets. Del and Sousuke got the files that displayed troop placements in the Baltic region over a three week period. Dibs, who excelled at electronic warfare, needed to review the communication logs and satellite relays. Kaname was handed high level reports about the nature of the tech in the region.

The final piece of the puzzle came to Del alone. The names and dates had been changed, of course, but the sample, 'fictional' dossier was clearly a replica of Aristo's assignment file.

"Oh god," Del gasped as soon as she opened it. "He's a Lonely Strike."

"He's a what?" Kaname asked with confusion furrowing her brow. She looked so sweet that Sousuke wanted to kiss her, but they were in the company of their friends so he did not initiate contact, as per her rules. He remained hopeful that she would settle down next to him and let him hold her hand under the table.

"Lonely Strikes are special force agents who work alone," Dibs explained. "They go into ridiculously hairy situations, mostly for recon but occasionally for target elimination."

"What, like assassination?" Kaname queried.

"Yeah," Del confirmed. She tossed down the file in disgust. "Shit. He's got a 'no search, no rescue' tag. No one is even looking for him. That crazy bastard. Why the hell would he volunteer for this suicidal crap?"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Take a look at this," Dibs said. He flipped around a page from his stack and showed it around.

"What are we looking at?" Del asked.

"The record from the Greek's assigned cell phone. It was working up to two weeks ago, and then it just stopped. It's been off ever since, which means we can't ping it to pick up the location," Dibs explained.

"This isn't going to be easy," Kaname added as she flipped through her files. "It could take me all night just to get through my part, never mind the group analysis. And we have to return all of this by tomorrow morning."

"So we do whatever we can. It's better than doing nothing," Sousuke argued.

Del looked him in the eye and smiled. "It's much, much better than doing nothing."

"Well," Dibs said while cracking his knuckles. "Our favorite bastard isn't going to find himself. Let's do this."

They set to work.

* * *

A/N: Tessa's beloved song is Frankie Valli's "My Eyes Adored You". I have no rights to it.


	23. Constants

"Good morning," Bear greeted his four students from the front of the small classroom. He set his insulated coffee mug on the podium and turned to erase an outline left by some other instructor from the green chalkboard.

"Hi Bear," Kaname yawned. She unscrewed the lid from Sousuke's water canteen and took a long pull. Her hand absently rubbed over her abdomen. All the coffee she had consumed during their all-nighter felt like it was going to burn a hole through her stomach lining.

"Morning," Dibs added without lifting his head from his hands.

"Hi," Del said in a voice so low that she seemed to mouth the word rather than actually say it.

Only Sousuke had a typical greeting. "Good morning, sir."

"I take it the news is not good," Bear observed. He thumbed through the stack of paper work that they had piled up on the teacher's podium and frowned. "I could extend the assignment by a few hours if you need more time..."

"Now he tells us," grumbled Dibs. His complaint turned into a cough, which he tried to cover with the crook of his elbow. "Man, I am getting too old to stay up all night."

Del picked her head up from her desk. Deep circles showed under her eyes. "Thanks, but I don't think that we'll get anything more out of that."

Kaname was surprised that all of Del's sentence came out in English. Although Del's accent often leaked into her speech patterns when she was tired, Kaname had never heard Del slip into full Spanish until around 0300 during the previous night.

Bear spun around one of the desks in the front row and sat down to face his class.

"Tell me what you found," he requested.

"Technically, we didn't find anything," Kaname sighed.

Bear raised an eyebrow. "Explain."

Sousuke, who was easily the most alert of the group, damn him, supplied the details. "Based on the information that we were able to gather, we were able to conclude that Aristo-"

Bear raised a hand. "Please. The exercise was purely fictional and in no way a violation of clearance protocol. You were looking at the case of one Manos Cross."

"My apologies. I must be tired," Sousuke said while Dibs snickered. "We believe that Cross was apprehended by an unknown enemy approximately three weeks ago in the Estonian city of Tartu."

"Apprehended?" Bear queried. "Are you implying that he is being held captive?"

"We don't think he's dead, no," Del insisted. "If he was killed by an enemy, there would be no reason to disappear his body. Even if they didn't know who he was working for, his death would communicate a clear message. They could even figure out who sent him by tracking who showed up to investigate or claim the body."

"Besides, we checked every morgue in a 500 mile radius," added Dibs. Another deep cough rattled through him, and they waited until the fit passed for Dibs to finish. "Our guy has a tattoo- nothing too unusual or weird- but it would appear in the notes of the autopsy report for any John Doe. We couldn't find a body, so it stands to reason that he's still alive."

"I wish that I could share your optimism, but absence of proof is not proof of absence," Bear countered.

"There's another reason," Kaname jumped in. "According to Aristo's, I mean, Cross's mission detail, he was supposed to investigate some sightings of developmental AS technology in the region, track down the source, eliminate the developers, and bring any vital data back to Mithril. In his last check-in, Cross reported that he was closing in on this objective and estimated a two-day time frame to mission completion. He even set up the basics for a pick-up."

Kaname paused for another drink of water before continuing. "The reports of new tech in that area have disappeared, and locals reported that a small, supposedly medical facility burned to the ground on the same day as the pick-up. We think that the objective was met, but that another group was targeting the same data. If Cross had the data, he would be valuable to them. They wouldn't kill him if they thought that he could be useful."

Del nodded to Kaname. "I think this is where I take over. Sousuke and I went over all information regarding Amalgam's units in the region during this time, and they don't look to be involved with Cross's disappearance. They do, however, seem to be responding to a threat in the area."

Del moved to Bear's desk and showed her calculations. "You see? They are scattering even before Mithril launched its counter-attack."

"But not all of them are moving. Some units are holding their positions," observed Bear.

"Look," Del said hotly. "We all know that Amalgam wasn't one big, happy family. There were definite factions. _These_ units are scattering. Maybe they didn't see fit to warn anyone else."

"I see," Bear nodded. "But all of this happened five weeks ago when Cross missed the pick-up. He has not checked in since. That is why he was declared MIA, and yet you claim that Cross was not captured until three weeks ago."

Dibs raised his hand. "My turn. Okay, some satellite mobile phones are pretty much indistinguishable from regular phones, but our guy didn't get one of the new fancy ones for this mission. He got an older model because Mithril's resources were stretched so thin. It's bigger than what you see people carrying around these days, and it gets service in places that don't get traditional reception.

"So imagine that our guy takes down his target, kills anyone who knows anything but lets a few underlings who didn't see anything go so they can report that they didn't see anything and help the authorities conclude that it was a just horrible accident. Even better, our man can blend in with the survivors and use them to hide in plain sight to get clear of the scene, so he can make the call and get picked up. But something must have tipped him off that things were not all right because he never makes the pick-up call.

"The original coordinates for the pick-up were spec'd for the middle of freakin' nowhere, and our guy isn't dumb. There's no cell phone reception out there. If he busts out his satellite phone, he'll stand out. So here's how we think it went down: He suspects something and makes the choice to miss the pick-up to avoid detection. He'd want to get clear before he makes the call, and so he heads to the nearest city. Our system pings all phones on the calling plan every night at 0000 GST, and we can see from those reports that our guy moves to Narva. But once he's there, he still doesn't make the call. Why? Because he's figured out that the guys after him aren't normal mafia thugs or crooked cops. They are the real deal, and they are watching him. If he pulls out his phone, they'll recognize what it is and bust him. He keeps moving, trying to give them the slip, but something happens around three weeks ago. That's when his satellite cell stops moving. The daily report returns the same location every day after that. The phone stops getting juice, and it runs of batteries two weeks ago just outside of Tartu."

Dibs dissolved into a coughing fit after his speech.

"And that's it?" Bear asked when the noise died down.

"Yeah," Del admitted. "That's where we run into the brick wall."

"We need more intel," Kaname agreed.

"I'm afraid that I can't provide anything more than I already have," Bear said quietly. "I'm sorry."

"Why aren't we going after him?" Dibs demanded. His eyes went from person to person wildly. "I know the loser has a 'do not rescue' tag, but don't we want the data he was supposed to deliver? We wouldn't just let that fall to the enemy, right?"

"Yeah, we would," Kaname said miserably. "Those new Arm Slaves he was looking into showed no sign of being Lambda driver equipped. Since we already have the capacity to surpass that level of technology with the Syns, we don't need to make securing the data a priority. Plus, it takes massive funds to build an Arm Slave. We can look for the money drain and track equipment transfers to locate any group that attempts to build one. That's a lot easier to track than one guy."

"If we had the man-power, Mithril might try to locate him, but these aren't normal times. He's on his own," Del concluded.

A heavy silence filled the room as each person processed the information privately.

Mithril would not rescue Aristo. Mithril could not rescue Aristo. He was as good as dead.

"Good work, all," Bear said softly after a moment. His eyes shone oddly. "I am...very proud of you."

Their instructor got up from his desk, gathered their papers in both of his arms, and left. No one tried to stop him or call him back. The tears forming in Bear's eyes had stunned his students into silence.

Kaname looked around the room. Dibs was rubbing at his eyes and trying not to start crying like their mentor. Del had put her head back down on the desk. Sousuke was staring at the blank chalkboard.

This couldn't be how it ended.

"I won't let it end like this," Kaname blurt out.

"Kaname," Del said gently.

"No! I'm not giving up. I have a source outside of Mithril. I'll contact her," Kaname explained.

Sousuke caught her intent and looked at Kaname with hard eyes. "Code name Wraith."

Kaname nodded. "I've been getting e-mails. I think I can contact her...er...him."

"Wraith is a free agent now. These services cost," Sousuke warned.

"I'll pay," Del said with such finality that no one questioned her.

Kaname took advantage of their early dismissal from Bear's lecture to get out the e-mail before their next session with Auntie.

The next two days passed in weird mania. Using Wraith to find Aristo was long, long shot, but they tried to pretend that it was plausible, likely even. They talked like his return was assured. _When he gets back..._

Kaname compulsively checked for messages at every opportunity.

On the morning of the third day, she got one. It wasn't much, just a number. Auntie graciously let Kaname borrow the phone in her office to make the call.

Wraith picked up immediately.

"You thoughtless cunt," Wraith seethed. "How dare you?"

"What did I do? I just asked you to look for a friend," Kaname shot back.

"You neglected to mention that he was being held by _them_," Wraith hissed. "As soon as I touched your friend's trail, I jeopardized my f_ucking_ life."

"I didn't know!" Kaname insisted. "I'll make it up to you. Please tell me. Did you find him. Is he alright?"

Wraith laughed bitterly. "You have no idea, little girl, what this stunt has cost. I was trying to protect you, and you made me sell you to the very devil."

"What?!"

"Oh, you heard me," Wraith went on. "I'm not going down for anyone. Not you. Not your careless Lonely Strike friend. When the devil asked me to sign, I put your name. This is on your bloody head, not mine."

"Wraith, you have to tell me." Kaname's hands on the receiver shook. "Who is the devil?"

"Who do you think?" Wraith spat. "Leonard Testarossa. He's running his own show these days. He said to tell you that you owe him a favor, and he'll come to collect it sooner rather than later."

Kaname felt sick. "Oh god."

"It gets worse," Wraith continued. The anger had left the voice on the other end of the line, so Wraith sounded tired and sick. "I had to give him everything related to you as a down payment on the debt. Everything. I followed you for two years, Chidori. There is very little about you that I don't know."

"Are you okay?" Kaname asked, suddenly alarmed. She never heard Wraith sound so emotional. It was like seeing your grandfather cry.

Wraith's voice changed again, back to the accustomed monotone. "You can't contact me again. This is the end. It has to be. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Kaname replied. "I'm so sorry. Please take care of yourself. I'll miss you."

The line went dead.

Aristo walked into a Mithril branch office in St. Petersburg that afternoon.

* * *

They saw Aristo briefly at the airport. He had cut off his ponytail and bleached his hair. His face was pinched thin, but his smile was just as bright as Sousuke remembered.

Kaname hugged him first, which was only fitting given everything that she had to sacrifice to bring him home safely. Sousuke had taken to sleeping with his gun under his pillow again. If Leonard Testarossa came for her, Sousuke would...well, his counselor had told him not to dwell on the details.

Del and Sousuke shook Aristo's hand in turn.

Dibs offered a smile but kept his hands to himself. He had been fighting a cold since their all-nighter.

Mithril whisked him away for a debriefing as soon as they were finished with the greeting, so the real reunion was scheduled for the next day. Auntie had volunteered her apartment for a small dinner party.

Aristo didn't come back to the dorms until after Del, Kaname, and Sousuke had finished up their nightly assignments. Dibs had succumbed to his cold and could be heard coughing through the thin walls at uneven intervals while the rest of them waited up for the Greek's return. Aristo knocked on the door when he finally came back from the debriefing, which even Sousuke found odd because it was a screen door and they could see him plainly through it. Sousuke noted that Aristo had dyed his newly shorn hair back to black.

"Who is it?" Del called out jokingly.

Kaname giggled. Aristo did not laugh.

"May I come in?" he asked solemnly.

Del rose from her bed and went to open the door. "Of course, you can come in. You're still one of us. You don't have to be so formal."

"Yeah, we're all friends here," Kaname seconded.

Aristo's eyes never left Del as he stepped into the room.

"I came because I wanted to know. When I left, I gave you a letter," Aristo began.

"Yeah, I seem to recall something like that," Del teased. "Kaname, where-"

Kaname had already dug out the envelope from a drawer in her desk. "Here!"

She passed the letter to Del who handed it to Aristo. He looked down at the envelope and then up at Del's face.

"You didn't open it," he said with wonder.

"Of course I didn't, _chango_," Del replied. She tried to smile, but it came out lopsided. "You told me to read it if you died, and I never thought that..."

"I think, _Dela Luna_, that there are things that we are overdue to say to one another," Aristo said slowly.

Del's back went stiff. Kaname's hand closed around Sousuke's sleeve. By the time Del had turned with pleading eyes to her roommate, Kaname was already dragging him away.

"We'll leave you two alone. It's great to have you back, Aristo," Kaname called back to their friends as she hustled Sousuke out the door.

"Thank you," Aristo said with a slight nod. His eyes never left Del, whose face had turned the most alarming shade of red.

Bucking protocol, Kaname pulled the solid door closed behind her on the way out. As the screen door slammed over it, Sousuke opened his mouth to chide her for violating Mithril's rules, but Kaname picked that moment to turn around and kiss him. He forgot all about his comment.

Sousuke loved the way that Kaname kissed- no hesitation, no shame. She had never been shy with him after that first time.

"What was that for?" he questioned when she released him.

"I'm allowed to kiss the guy I love when I want to, right?" she smiled up at him.

"Right," he said quickly. She seemed happy, bouncing on her toes with a newfound energy, and Sousuke didn't want to start a fight.

Kaname raised her arms over her head and stretched. "So what do we do now? The buildings will be shut down to visitors for the night, we don't have a study room reserved, and I don't want to bother Dibs when he's sick."

"Mao may be back on the island. We could visit her," Sousuke suggested.

Kaname shrugged. "Maybe tomorrow. I think I want to walk around for a little while. It feels good to be outside. "

She started towards the trails, and Sousuke fell into step beside her. Even though they were technically in public, Sousuke broke Kaname's Rule #3 and reached for her hand. He held his breath until Kaname threaded their fingers together. He had made the right choice.

The impossibly large moon hung low and orange in the velvet night, and Kaname kept it in front of them as they walked. Sousuke knew that it would rise as the night worn on, shed its yellow tint as it ascended, and glow white when it reached the peak of the sky. On nights like these, the moon's brightness made street lamps and flash lights unnecessary, but the scraps of clouds pushed along by a distant jet stream threatened to coalesce into a storm.

Late night storms made for the darkest nights and the best times for sneak attacks, Sousuke thought automatically. His large hand tightened protectively around Kaname's fine-boned one. She squeezed back, hard enough to make him wince.

She was so strong.

They detoured from the 10K trail after the second bend and pushed through the underbrush. The path was little more than an animal trail through the dense cover of trees, but Sousuke knew it well. He had to let go of Kaname's hand as they fended off low branches and thick outcroppings of fern, but she reached for him again when they broke through the vegetation and stepped onto the rocky ledge overlooking the Pacific.

His favorite fishing spot looked lovely bathed in starlight, but nothing wrought by Nature's hand compared to the way that Kaname looked as she tipped her head back to look up at the sky.

The waves whispered their dark secrets from somewhere far below them while Kaname watched the rising moon and Sousuke watched her.

Her hair, still damp from her shower, tumbled down her back. The ocean breeze managed to free a few strands from the red bow that held the bulk of it in a knot at her dip of her back, and Sousuke moved without thinking. His hands darted out and tugged the ribbon loose.

Unbound, Kaname's hair whipped around her in a sudden rush of wind. Her hand flew to her cheek to tuck back what little would fit behind her ear. Her eyes, as wide and wonderful as the sky, pinned him as she turned to him, and his body became the barrier that shielded her from the night-chilled gusts.

She was so beautiful.

"Is it always going to be like this?" Kaname asked suddenly.

"Like what?" Sousuke replied, not understanding.

Another burst of wind pulled at them, and the moon ducked behind a tattered cloud.

Kaname's eyes dropped away from his. "Like, dangerous. We beat Amalgam but not really, and now everyone's whispering that there's something else out there. It's like we didn't do anything to make anyone safer. The bad guys are still there. They're still after us."

Leonard's smirking face flashed across Sousuke's mind.

"I won't let anyone hurt you," he swore.

Kaname folded against him with her arms strong around his waist. "I know. I trust you."

She exhaled into his chest, and Sousuke held her fast.

"It may sound stupid, but I don't get how you've done this for so long. I mean, we work so hard, and people die, and none of it makes that much of a difference. It feels like nothing is changing," Kaname explained.

Sousuke tried to think of something to say that would prove her wrong, but no example sprang to mind. Until Kaname came along, the only constant in Sousuke's life was the threat of danger. Although he had grown accustomed to the bitter reality of endless war when he was a child, it seemed dreadful that Kaname would have to need to accept it, too. There was so much horror in the world that Sousuke wished he could hide from her.

The spray from a great wave crashing into the rocks below splattered down on them. Kaname pulled away and walked to the edge of the rocks to investigate.

The moon re-emerged and touched the rising tip of each wave traveling across the dark waters. It laid a pale hand on the crown of Kaname's head and spilled across her shoulder.

"How can you keep doing it? How can you keep fighting when none of it seems to matter?" she asked into the open expense of sea and sky.

Sousuke didn't know how to explain to Kaname all the reasons why he used to fight and how she had made him re-evaluate every one of them. He could only watch her, the sum of his justifications, and hope that she could find her own answer.

"It's okay if you can't explain it to me," Kaname said slowly after a long moment. "I think I'm beginning to understand anyway. I mean, it's not like we can just sit back and do nothing. I feel like I have to try, even if it doesn't make a difference at all. If there's something worth saving, then you have to fight, and sometimes it does works out. Like what we did for Aristo. Does that make sense to you?"

"Yes," he answered definitively.

She looked back at him with a pleased smile, and Sousuke felt the tidal wave of his love for her tumble him under its rolling crest of longing and adoration and joy.

"I knew you would understand," she beamed and rushed into his waiting arms.

She was so strong.

She was so beautiful.

And she was _his_.

His words tumbled out as self-consciousness left him. Her soft touch coaxed out his willing confession.

That sweet mouth was his.

"I love you," he whispered.

The hands that pushed his shirt over his head and slipped across his bare back were his.

"You are everything to me, Kaname. Everything."

The body that arched into him when they tumbled down together was his.

"I keep thinking that I am supposed to be with you."

The delicious, happy cry that escaped when she moved against him was his.

"I would do anything for you, anything to make you happy," he went on.

Sousuke felt drunk on skin contact and the scent of girl sweat. He felt barely aware of anything besides her in his arms until her hands went to his belt. The chink of the metal buckle against the rock under him sounded out a warning. It was beyond anything they had done together. Sousuke felt equal parts of liquid desire and fear as the ever-colder wind blew over their warm bodies.

"Kaname?" he asked with alarm in his voice. "We don't have to..."

She closed her eyes and kissed him softly. "I want to."

Sousuke surrendered to her touch as she eased him back onto the smooth rock.

"I want you," Kaname said against his mouth. " I love you. As long as we're together, I feel like I can do anything."

He had said the same thing to her in this very spot long ago. Even in his current position, Sousuke felt the comforting weight of what it meant that his soon-to-be lover had echoed his words back to him.

He said the only words that his mind could provide. "Thank you."

For the first time in his memory, Sousuke was loved- wholly, completely, without secrets, without caveats.

Across dark waters were continents of dangers. He could spend his entire life working against them without ridding the world of those treats, but Sousuke knew that he would always fight to protect her because nothing mattered as much as the woman in his arms.

And he loved her.

* * *

An extra-gushy, heartsick A/N can be found at unkeptsecret (dot ) insanejournal (dot) com (slash) 3086 (dot) html


	24. Epilogue

True to his threat, Leonard laid claim his favor in the week following Kaname's final conversation with Wraith. His message came to Kaname in the form of a small, soft-sided package wrapped in brown paper, innocently nestled in with the rest of the week's mail and stamped with a return address in Estonia.

Kaname couldn't deny the pang of fear she felt when she realized what she was holding. No girl, no matter how safely entrenched in a paramilitary organization's base of operation, wants the attentions of a soulless killer.

Even so, Kaname's relief outweighed her fears. Leonard's gift put an end to the painful suspense. She could deal with the restless nights and her newly acquired habit of spacing out during lectures. Kaname didn't like it, but she could cope just fine with her own anxieties. What she couldn't put up with was a worry-ridden Sousuke.

With the week, Sousuke had her fed up with his freakishly over-protective 'security measures'. Since Aristo's return, Sousuke's behavior had rivaled the obnoxious antics of his early Tokyo days. She had dropped her lavender-scented shampoo bottle while in the shower, and Sousuke burst in, brandishing two-- _two!-- _guns. Even though it wasn't anything that he hadn't seen before, Kaname still felt justified in sending her solider boy through the nearest window. Later that day, Sousuke took a black eye from Del when it was revealed that he had installed spy cameras in their dorm room. The normally non-violent woman had discovered Aristo glued to one of the monitoring screen in the guys' room.

Even the amicable Bear lost his patience and kicked Sousuke out of class for three days in a row. Sousuke would dive for the cover of the nearest table, dragging Kaname down with him, every time Bear said the word 'terrorist' or 'weapon', which happened pretty frequently given that they were discussing the Vietnam conflict that week.

The package's arrival meant that Kaname could get the non-insane version of boyfriend back, so she almost welcomed it. That didn't mean, however, that she was super-keen on opening it. Kaname turned Leonard's present over to Bear right away, who gave it back to the customs group, who ran it through another round of testing and x-rays. They didn't find anything, of course. Mithril thoroughly scanned all incoming materials for potential threats, so the fact that it came to Kaname in the first place meant that nothing was dangerous about the package itself. Bear knocked on her door to return it early the next morning.

"No one has looked inside," Bear said in his comforting, lilting English. "By right, it's yours to open."

"Thank you," Kaname said as she accepted the package. It weighed almost nothing in her hands, yet somehow, impossibly, its contents balanced out the life of her friend. Kaname heaved a sigh. "Guess I better take my medicine, huh?"

Bear put a large hand on her sleep-tussled hair and beamed at her.

"I have always suspected that you, my girl, were a wonder. You will let me know if there is anything more I can do," he said fatherly.

Kaname felt a surge of pride. "I'll see you in class, Bear."

The Senegalian flashed his white-toothed grin at her and took his leave.

In the end, Kaname decided to open Leonard's present during breakfast at the mess hall table, where she could be surrounded by her friends and distracted by the hubbub of the masses.

Under the first layer of wrapping, she found a simple note handwritten in large, looping letters.

"_Dearest Kaname,_

_My favor is this: never forget what I have done for you, even after you betrayed me, you wicked girl._

_I still see you in the rain._

_With endless love,_

_Leonard_"

Kaname made a gagging noise, crumbled the note, tossed it into the nearest trash bin, and examined the rest of the package's contents.

Shock frozen her in place when she unfolded the tightly bound scrap of fabric to reveal that Leonard had sent her a familiar pair of cotton panties done in a tiny heart-shaped print.

"How did he get your underwear?" Sousuke blurt out.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Sousuke Sagara! Virgin no more!" Dibs announced.

"You know, I would have had you down as the black satin type," Aristo mused.

"These appear new, but I distinctly remember Kaname wearing a pair exactly like this in Tokyo," Sousuke observed while holding up the dainty underthing in question for a better look.

"They grow up so fast," Dibs sniffed while wiping crocodile tears from his eyes.

"Or at least a thong," Aristo continued.

"Wraith's reports were more detailed than I had thought," Sousuke nodded, clearly impressed.

"STOP! SHUT UP! NOW!" Kaname yelled while the entirety of the mess hall turned to see what all the commotion was about.

Del laughed so hard that she accidently tipped over her tray of pancakes. Syrup oozed across the table while Kaname gave up on verbal threats and tried to silence all of her heartless friends and clueless boyfriend with her fists. She missed, of course, because she was laughing too hard to aim. Aristo had put his hand into the spilled pancakes by mistake while trying to dodge her sloppy attack, and Dibs had fallen out of his chair. Then there was Sousuke, sitting perfectly still with a pair of panties in his hand and the oddest expression of curiosity and concern playing across his face.

And so Kaname's crisis ended in an oil slick of syrup and the whole lot of them chortling like hyenas.

Instead of troubling her, Leonard's gift let Kaname move through the rest of her day with a growing sense of gratitude. Her life with Mithril was a literal ocean away for the one that she had imagined for herself, but it brought her such happiness. She respected her instructors and adored her friends. She enjoyed the challenges of her daytime work for MCA and her nights with R&D. She had plans to go back to Tokyo to reunite with her old classmates for the holidays, and Sousuke had agreed to go with her, "for her protection" of course. Danger was, for the moment, as distant as one of Jupiter's moons. The great sky seemed bluer, the tree tops lusher, the endless waters lovelier.

She had no regrets, save one. Every time she checked her e-mail, Kaname felt Wraith's absence, and in that moment, Kaname suffered the stomach-rolling remorse that comes with losing a friend. But then Del would holler something "maintaining proper respect for your rescuers" to Aristo, and the phantom of Kaname's self-doubt faded. The sad truth was that she would have lost someone dear to her either way.

The day that started with the pancake/panties incident ended with another surprise. The MCA First Years bumped into Melissa and Kurz on their way back to the dorms after class.

"Hey, babe, look! It's some of our favorite people," Kurz called over his shoulder to Melissa, who was busy scribbling labels on boxes with a thick, black marker. Kurz shoved his armload into the bed of the waiting truck and grinned at them.

"Hey, Kurz. Hey, Mao. What's with the boxes?" Kaname asked.

Melissa shielded her eyes from the orange light of the setting sun. "We finally got the official offer to join the Syn team, and _someone _decided to bargain for a better place-"

"Don't try to blame this all on me! You know you wanted one of those villas," Kurz argued.

"-And we have to be out of the apartment by tomorrow," Melissa finished.

"Wish I could say that I'm going to miss this place, but I feel like we just moved in, " Kurz reflected.

"We did, dumb ass. Six weeks ago," Melissa huffed. She shoved her hair out of her face and slung a box over one shoulder. "Now quit stalling and start hauling. We've got a lot to do."

Kurz faked a pitiful frown and reached for a particularly heavy-looking box from the disorganized heap spilling out of their apartment door. Kaname could help but notice the heated look in Melissa's eyes as she watched the flex of Kurz's lean muscles under his white t-shirt.

"Hey Sousuke, be a pal and give us a hand," Kurz said as he headed back to the truck. "I'd offer to pay you in beer, but you don't drink."

"We drink," Del offered. She jerked her thumb at Aristo and Dibs. "They'll help too, as long as you don't go for the cheap stuff."

Kurz broke into a face-splitting grin. "For our new best friends? Never!"

"You heard the man," Del told Aristo and Dibs. She squared her shoulders and pointed to the stack of boxes. "Let's do this."

"Aw, man! Why do we have to take orders from you, Bossy?" Dibs whined, but he reached for the nearest stack of boxes anyway.

"I agree. Give me one reason why we should let you order us around," Aristo challenged. He crossed his arms over his chest and gave Del a hard look. "And don't try that 'because I rescued you' nonsense."

"One reason, huh?" Del narrowed her eyes and dropped her voice in her most fierce-some tone. "_Because I'm prettier_."

Aristo slumped in defeat.

"You are prettier," he conceded.

Kaname nudged Sousuke into action, and he followed the guys with their armloads of cardboard boxes to the waiting truck. They crossed paths with Melissa, who was on her way back for another load. She gave Kaname a friendly wink and stuck her hand out to Del.

"I know you. We worked together once in Pakistan. Your commander had a serious case of stupid, but you were making up for it," Melissa noted.

Kaname watched Del make the choice not to get upset about her lost unit. She offered Melissa her hand and a tight smile instead.

"Thanks. Cordelia Delgado. You're Melissa Mao, right? The first female SRT member?" Del inquired.

"Damn straight," Melissa nodded. "I hate letting the boys have all the fun."

"You know, Mithril could use more chicks with that kinds of attitude," Del said meaningfully.

Melissa threw back her head and laughed. "You know what? I get the feeling we're going to be great friends. Want to start drinking now and make the guys do all the work?"

"I heard that!" Kurz yelled from the truck.

"Absolutely," Del nodded to Melissa.

"Why do we put up with this?" Aristo complained to Kurz.

Kurz clapped the Greek on the shoulder. "Because they'll kick our asses and look totally hot while doing it. Right, Sousuke?"

Kaname felt her boyfriend's dark eyes on her.

"Affirmative," he agreed.

The work went fast with seven able bodies to lift and load. It helped that they didn't need to move any furniture. They had Melissa and Kurz's stuff into the sleek, modern villa within the hour.

The apartments were a cut above the dorms, but the villas were in a class of their own. Kaname ran a hand up the polished metal banister that lead up to an elegant loft that served as the bedroom before turning to admire the floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the island's north coast. The rocky land dropped away sharply just beyond the villa's foundation, affording a near-perfect view of the blue-green water. The villa also featured a gorgeous master bath with a garden-style tub, gleaming granite tile flooring throughout, and high-end Swedish furniture.

"Do you like it?" Sousuke asked when Kaname hopped up on the stone countertop to get a better look at the blown-glass lighting fixtures hanging from the ceiling.

"It's really nice," Kaname nodded. "I could really see myself in a place like this one day."

"Then perhaps we could...I mean...eventually...." Sousuke stammered.

Kaname felt a rush of love so strong that it made her a dizzy. She touched Sousuke's hand, but her reply to him was drowned out by the cheer that went up from the kitchen.

"Alright! They even stocked the bar for us!" Kurz shouted.

"I take back every bad thing I ever said about this place," Melissa professed as she searched the cherrywood cabinets for the glasses.

Someone thought to call Tessa, who was back on base to go through the tedious process of surrendering command of the TDD-1. She came armed with a CD of bubble gum pop music from the 1960's and an irrepressible smile.

"Someone's been kissed," Melissa teased her surrogate little sister.

"And how," added Kurz with raised eyebrows.

"So what if I have?" Tessa said smugly as she geared up the stereo. The former captain closed her eyes and swayed as the first strands of an old, familiar song swelled through the high-ceilinged living room.

The night was too warm and starry to stay indoors, so they dragged every chair they could find out onto the elevated deck and left the doors open to let the music out. There weren't enough seats, so Sousuke sat on the floor at Kaname's feet and Del dropped wordlessly into Aristo's lap.

A cool wind brought in the clean scent of the sea while the sun crashed into the water and the stars flashed on. Kurz and Dibs told raunchy jokes and kept everyone's glasses filled. Del and Melissa were deep into conversation about tactics while Tessa and Aristo chatted about music. Sousuke listened to it all as he leaned against Kaname's legs, warm and whole and hers.

Kaname knew such happiness couldn't keep forever, but the evening seemed to pass so slowly that she refused to let tomorrow's worries trouble such a perfect, endless night.

The rushing wind swirled up the nutty scent smell of Melissa's cigar smoke and the sweet tang of lime from Del's Mexican beer. It carried Tessa's light laughter and the deep rumble of Dibs's voice. It stole the paper umbrella from Aristo's ridiculous cocktail and ruffled Sousuke's unruly hair as he turned to look up at her.

"Kaname, do you need anything?" he asked.

"Not a thing," she smiled at him.

* * *

If you've made it this far, thank you. Please drop a review. I put a lot of time into this story over the course of seven months, so I'd like to know what you think.

More detailed accounts of my undying gratitude and the final A/N at unkeptsecret (dot) insanejournal (dot) com (slash) 3417


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